Men want to trick you into doing it ALL but won't even pay for your dinner or celebrate your birthday anymore. Dont fall for it.

Flowermashup · 2021-02-06T00:27:25+00:00

Yep, can't forget a scene we had with my father. Long story short he cheated and was then offended because I called him out. After that we had a family meeting where he started going through the house (it was clean, but not everything was perfectly folded because my mom works her ass off) and saying oh yeah, is this how a closet of a housewife looks like? Is this how a drawer of a housewife look like? Is this how the kitchen of a housewife is supposed to look lik? And I'm like dude, my mom works 12 hours daily in a fucking SUPERMARKET all while having scoliosis. And you, a fucking BUS DRIVER, who sits his day through and than goes drinking with the "boys" after work expect her to cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care od your mom? Sad thing is that my mom spent so many years of her life on that piece of shit, and she deserved way better.

warinmymind94 · 2021-02-06T00:58:26+00:00

And what’s nuts is that some scrotes will be like: “well if it’s equality you want, then you have to open the door for me!” ... like this is the farthest place you can go from the point lol

souredskittles · 2021-02-06T00:18:05+00:00

Well now we have jobs so there is no need to pander. Every woman and girl should know that marriage or a man is not the end goal.

darkshadows2021 · 2021-02-06T00:35:22+00:00

Anyone who isn't going to celebrate you or your accomplishments...even if it is just tackling the laundry on a busy day isn't worth their weight in salt. I've had to do it all and to not be worth a celebration(whether it's pushing the button for my coffee or bringing me a plant)or whatever on my birthday)) for working and taking care of the kids and it's not worth the work to maintain a shite relationship that doesn't give back.

blilola · 2021-02-06T05:40:57+00:00

Im actually so pissed. Because in more modern times this behaviour has been normalised. Men are actually surprised that you demand basic things such as dates and emotional intelligence. And are surprised that you don’t applaud them for doing something basic like keeping themselves clean.

warinmymind94 · 2021-02-06T08:37:43+00:00

I made a post about this a while ago, pointing out that even the stereotypical 50's housewife didn't do all that by herself. Having at least one domestic servant was extremely common up until the 1960's for middle class families. Having to work was something poor women did until they could get married themselves, and having to work as well as take care of your own family was a very lower class thing to do, reserved for the wives of men with addictions or disabilities, and, in the pre-civil rights era US, black women.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-02-06T01:26:02+00:00

I don't discourage anyone from living their June Cleaver fantasies if they really want to. I don't understand it, but I do understand that I don't have to be able to "get" everyone's preferred lifestyle for it to be valid.

But oh my God is it a risk...

If you're sure you have a HVM who wants to be the breadwinner and you really want to be a housewife, go for it. But please make sure you also have a degree and a career you can go back to in 10 years if it doesn't work out the way you think it will. If the June Cleaver lifestyle was so great, the feminist revolution would never have happened.

luciesssss · 2021-02-06T05:11:16+00:00

I would have made a terrible housewife. I’m currently on maternity leave with my 3 month old. My husband works full time from home (albeit his job is flexible). My husband provides 50% of the childcare, he cooks every meal because I’m breastfeeding on demand and he cleans. I tell him if I want something doing and he does. On a morning when he’s going through his emails he takes our baby and gets him ready for the day and gives me an extra hour or so in bed to myself.

Now I don’t consider this HVM shit I consider it fucking equal.

shortywannarock · 2021-02-06T00:22:15+00:00

Unrelated, but every time I see that *font, my mind reads it in Homer Simpson’s voice for some reason

Nat_at_all · 2021-02-06T05:04:59+00:00

I know it's so exhausting, decided I don't want kids. DOn't want the stress. Amazed at the woman who are able to.

warinmymind94 · 2021-02-05T23:30:31+00:00

Op here: for clarity, I am NOT endorsing being a 1950s style bangmaid, I was just making a point that its ironic that men back then tended to have proper dates and treat their women better, they tended to put in more effort even when they were ultimately the ones being the sole breadwinner for the household. Now, I hate that men still expect us to do bangmaid work, go to a full time job, raise kids, ALL while paying half for everything. It doesn't make sense.

Hiba1999 · 2021-02-06T00:28:47+00:00

I just found this subreddit 10 minutes ago, Where were you guys my whole life

tellmesomething11 · 2021-02-06T17:59:39+00:00

Yep. My ex husband did sooo little. He was perfectly content to be in a dirty house and I constantly had to clean bc I can’t live like that. He would just toss clothes and empty packages on the ground and step on them, not caring if it spilled or caused the clothing to get dirtier.

the worst is that he policed me like crazy. When I first met him, I would take my laundry to get done (I live in nyc) and it cost 20 bucks, but it was worth it bc I didn’t have to fight over machines. Let me tell you, those laundry mats were PACKED with women and children. But no, he talked so much shit and complained I wasn’t a real woman so I stopped. And began doing it myself.
If I was sick, instead of helping me by making me tea or soup, he would harass me if I took off more than one sick day. “ why are you home?” “ I never get sick.” He also frowned upon me taking medicine and claimed it was unnecessary.
I should have left here but I was young and didn’t know better. He moved into MY apartment and refused to pay rent. I was making 10 an hour, struggling to pay 800 rent (my biweekly was 600) and I also was attending school. He was acting at the time, his budget he spent each week for himself? 1000.
after we divorced, he moved in with his sister. Part of our agreement is that he has to do visitation at my house twice a week. When he comes he says things like, “this place is dirty,” and will load up my garbage but not throw it out, even though he’s leaving at the end of visitation.

Ladies. Please, please learn from this. These type of men don’t change. My ex has grown more angered at me as of late, bc I’ve gotten promotions and thru therapy, am always in a state of bliss. I don’t wish to know anything about him and I don’t think of him in that way. I look forward to my next chapter...financially secure, my close relationship with my daughters and no contact permanently with him once the children are of age.

I started talking to my daughter about relationships and we discussed her thoughts about paying for things etc etc. I told her “men have to speak to gently and kindly. If a man sees you overwhelmed, he should look around to see how he can ease your burden. There is always a way he can do so.” She listened intently and said “yes, he should help you like I do 😩. Otherwise he’s adding more work for me!” 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

ponchoacademy · 2021-02-06T02:09:19+00:00

Only thing here I take issue with is calling a woman who chooses to be a stay at home mom a bangmaid. Taking care of the household and raising kids is a job, a tough one, a non-paid one at that.

The whole thing of being disrespectful to women who are homemakers, and consider her as having no value because shes doing literally everything to manage the house and family except make money is how a lot of men emotionally abuse women.

Back when I got married, I was a homemaker for about 6 months before I said screw this, I need to get a job. To replace what I was doing, we needed to pay for day care, for a housekeeper, for laundry/pressing service (he wore uniforms), and we often ordered take out for the benefit of being able to just sit down and enjoy a meal after work. Im sure theres more things too...but what we paid for other people to keep our household running smoothly, and that it was worth paying for, proves that role has value.

biceps_to_die_for · 2021-02-06T08:29:02+00:00

It bugs me that we still see man as the ideal. Society is focused on making woman conform to man. Woman can dress like man, work like man and date like man. And of course that's good, but it shouldn't be a one-way street that woman take on all the characteristics of man but we don't change the male image. Maybe we should take a look at what characteristics man should adopt from woman, such as emotional availability, communication, caretaking etc.

Guyfawkesnfriends · 2021-02-06T07:51:18+00:00

And rub your wife’s damn feet!!!

GoldenSlippersL8M8 · 2021-02-06T17:45:30+00:00

When it comes to equality, we argue and fight for women to have the same rights, freedoms, and pay as our male peers/counterparts. This is regarding status under the law, taxation on products, and equal pay for equal work. I don’t see the logic of treating your date let alone your wife with the quid pro quo you see in business or the tit for tat of a professional colleague. Then they act shocked their behavior irritated their date and they don’t see her again, or that their wife has had enough and is exhausted. He is more work than the kids! Dating and marriage are not businesses, and if you treat them like a business (interview, merger, acquisition) you piss everyone off.

GlamorKiss · 2021-02-06T16:06:39+00:00

This is what the 50/50 is leading to, doing all the work with less thanks for it

chorussaurus · 2021-02-06T05:47:23+00:00

The title of the thread is A1.

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