Am I being awful for not wanting to pursue a relationship with him because of his p€nïs size?

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-03-28T16:14:10+00:00

I don't think it's in poor character to turn someone down. Monogamous LTRs are about finding someone you feel incredibly fortunate to be with for the rest of your life - and you're right that sex and intimacy is a huge part of that. It never sounds like your attraction was strong to him, even if you care deeply about him in other ways. Your time is the most precious thing you have; don't let yourself feel obligated to waste it on a man who's not even your boyfriend.

I still value his friendship in my life.

But you can't be friends anymore. That's done. I think you'd be wrong to try to retain it. This situation sounds like a man's worst nightmare, and the best thing you can do for him is to let him move forward. He's had a crush on you for three years and feels like he ruined the chance he finally got because of his sexual performance. Ouch.

If this situation ever happens to come up again with a guy you really really want to make it work with...I think there are penis sheaths or something that can help.

cohost3 · 2023-03-28T22:31:06+00:00

He deserves to be loved and respected by his partner. Clearly that person is not you.

Let him go and move on. For his own sake, don’t pursue a friendship with him.

Flashy_Flamingo_2327 · 2023-03-28T16:01:25+00:00

Clearly, it isn't an ideal thing to lose interest because of a body part, but it would be far worse if you lied to him about it and were miserable during sex for the rest of your life. Trial and error is a big thing when finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and it seems to me that you and this man are just not meant to be, and that's ok. People like different things during sex; maybe your awkward experience is another women's utopia (maybe). This is just my opinion, though; I expect you'll hear far different ones!

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-03-28T18:39:49+00:00

>he kept asking me to give him a chance

>He went to the bathroom and I could hear him beating himself up and hitting himself and talking to himself saying that he is a loser and I felt really bad about it.

>begged me to give him another chance

If penis size is the reason why you don't want to date this unstable guy with no self respect, I really don't know what to tell you. Are you maybe ignoring consciously admitting there are huge red flags and chalking it up to "I'm just not attracted to him... because the first ever sex between us was awkward, yeah, that's gotta be why!"?

Consider taking enough time that you can consciously identify red flags *before* you become intimate. It'll make things easier for everyone. And yeah, it's definitely not going to "be the same" between y'all. He was ONLY hanging around because he was hoping to get his chance, and now he's deciding if he's going to continue begging or not.

For your actual question, sure, discounting someone who is incredible (which does not sound like that's the case you're describing) because there isn't instant mutual sexual chemistry would be silly. It actually reflects an immature understanding of sex. The sexual quality of a relationship has to do with both the man and woman's general ability to have fun, be curious, find solutions, attune themselves to their own desires, attune themselves to their partner's desires, and cultivate and use their feminine/masculine energy. All of those life skills are important in everyday life, and they translate to a vibrant sex life that grows and changes and can survive potentially awkward normal early alignment.

OkraGarden · 2023-03-28T17:07:23+00:00

He deserves someone who loves him and enjoys having sex with him. Being small isn't a barrier to good sex when both people are willing to try new things and learn what works for them. But most importantly he should not be in a relationship where he has to beg for affection. If you just aren't into him you need to cut it off and encourage him to find someone who thinks he's great. It doesn't sound like either of you will be happy or fulfilled in a relationship together.

Mssixfoottall · 2023-03-28T18:37:19+00:00

Nothing wrong with that. Next time be more sensitive about how you tell them. Don't say you don't enjoy it and don't want a relationship because of this. You could have went about it in a nicer way. Imagine in the shoe was on the other foot and a guy did that to you . You would be crushed. Don't be yourself up over not liking someone .

angelicasinensis · 2023-03-28T18:54:53+00:00

Chemistry is important. I think you saying it’s all about penis size is misleading, sounds like it was more about it being awkward and you not enjoying it. I also think him beating himself up afterwards is a huge red flag also, sounds like he has some unresolved confidence issues. I personally don’t care about penis size at all, but is important for me and my man to have good chemistry, for me I actually prefer men with smaller body types in general because I am super tiny myself.

Jenneapolis · 2023-03-28T16:29:40+00:00

I wonder if he was having performance issues and that’s why it felt small and awkward? I only say this from experience and because I’m not sure why he would be beating himself up over it otherwise. If he’s liked you for a long time, he probably was nervous and nerves can lead to performance issues. You aren’t a bad person for not pursuing this if the sexual chemistry is not there. However this seems like it’s about more than just his size, it’s also about his performance.

I have had long-term relationships with guys who are small. We both know they are small but I loved having sex with them because I loved them and they were confident. But I can say that with a smaller guy, arousal makes a big difference. When they are really aroused, it can feel like a nice size, but sometimes they are just not as aroused and it does make it more difficult. This would not be likely as noticeable with a big guy. But ultimately you just are not feeling it. I would just be careful to not label yourself as someone who needs a big guy, but rather take into account all the factors that made this a not so great sexual experience which sounds like it was a combination of size, performance, sexual experience/skill and overall attitude.

couldthisbelove · 2023-04-02T00:57:43+00:00

I think it’s fair that you gave him a chance despite some red flags and communicated that it ‘s not there. When a guy says things like “my ex’s says I’m great” I think the opposite is probably true. While I agree this is a man’s worse nightmare, I would give him a hug and tell him he’s a great person, but it’d be unfair to him to remain friends. There’s no going back after this

Agreeable-Comedian24 · 2023-03-28T16:18:46+00:00

You are not awful. But you need to consider letting this friendship go. Sometimes we out grow people and that’s okay. So many men will tell you that men are friends with you because they want something. Especially in situations like this. He has waited years for you, while you were dating other men. He’s begged for your attention. Those are not the qualities of a HVM.

Also him hitting himself is odd behavior. This whole thing seems a little off. Give him, and yourself space. There were guys I was friends with at your age that I wouldn’t even recognize today or even remember their name. Letting go is an option.

Wide-Biscotti-8663 · 2023-03-28T22:48:24+00:00

This is absolutely a legitimate preference to have. Men are allowed to have preferences and women are too.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-28T15:56:06+00:00

Title: Am I being awful for not wanting to pursue a relationship with him because of his p€nïs size?

Full text: Hey! I would love to get your opinions on this ladies.

I have a friend who has been pursuing me 3 years and we talk everyday but I was in 2 previous relationships and didn’t see him as anything more than just a friend. I do think I have slowly developing feelings for him.

Lately we’ve been talking and we suggested we "trial date" and see how it goes because he kept asking me to give him a chance. Last weekend he came over to my place and we hung out. We had sex but I did not enjoy it, I told him to stop and I removed his p£nÏs out. I was a bit disappointed because he kept talking about how good his ex’s told him he was but his p£nïs was really small for me and the rhythm was just awkward It was really bad and I didn’t moan because I can’t fake it. He went to the bathroom and I could hear him beating himself up and hitting himself and talking to himself saying that he is a loser and I felt really bad about it.

The next day we spoke and I told him the truth about how I felt and that I didn’t enjoy it and I don’t think I want to have sex with him again or pursue a relationship anymore. He told me he was really hurt and begged me to give him another chance and how he loves me and he would be better next time and I said no because sex and intimacy is important to me and I don’t want to give him false hope. He deserves someone and I don’t think it can be me unfortunately but I still value his friendship in my life.

It’s a shame because I did feel myself developing feelings for him emotionally but this experience ruined it. He has been very bleak and distant with me since then. We are still talking but he’s acting different and I’m starting to terrible about the whole thing.

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ThrowRA77890 · 2023-03-28T16:00:46+00:00

Btw I forgot to add that I am F21 and he is M22.

tms951 · 2023-03-28T16:57:53+00:00

God poor bastard. He has no idea how lucky he is.

I’m more and more convinced ‘red pilled woman’ are just terrible humans trying to develop techniques to mask it.

pinkaboo17 · 2023-03-28T20:31:15+00:00

Nope, it's over...cut your loses. He's gonna be paranoid for the rest of the relationship. HOWEVER, you could ask him to put on a sleeve or a c*ck ring to make it feel bigger. Is he a micro?

TheBunk_TB · 2023-03-29T00:36:35+00:00

Heck, I would appreciate you being honest. I had several women lie about sex, instead of being straightforward. (Didn't know that I was too big and too rough. No one verbalized that they needed more "handling", etc.)

Just move on. It didn't work out. You jumped beyond the turnback point, where you could try to repair something.

loz333 · 2023-03-28T18:14:33+00:00

Are you physically attracted to him? Like, I sense that maybe he's not a knockout 10/10, but was there physical attraction there at all on your part before the incident?

ArdentBandicoot · 2023-03-28T22:53:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

c9nw · 2023-03-29T03:22:01+00:00

Tl;dr quick answer is def no.

aslanhatessmeagol · 2023-03-29T09:36:48+00:00

Size is sensitive to some people. I think you are just being honest but next time, be careful when telling about someone's size. Not all people can accept it. The best way is just tell them that you guys aren't compatible.

MysiaPysia666 · 2023-03-29T09:40:18+00:00

You are entitled to reject potential partners even for smallest inconveniences. Follow your needs, wants and feelings.

rishtedaar_steiner · 2023-03-30T01:02:48+00:00

OP how long was his d*ck approximately. Was it below 4 inches hard?

Title	Am I being awful for not wanting to pursue a relationship with him because of his p€nïs size?
Author	ThrowRA77890
Upvotes	16
Comments	71
Date	March 28, 2023 3:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/124te4x/am_i_being_awful_for_not_wanting_to_pursue_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-being-awful-for-not-wanting-to-pursue-a.1207650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207650

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