Does it really matter how you act on dates?

wtknight · 2023-05-26T17:05:28+00:00

I haven’t been single for more than a few weeks in nine years

This is likely why you can act however you want. For men not as naturally blessed as you, how they act on dates does matter.

Cjaylyle · 2023-05-26T17:03:14+00:00

As long as you dont act in a way that puts a lot of emotional pressure on somebody early on in an awkward inappropriate way or act like a weirdo you’re golden - provided she likes how you look.

If a date feels like you’re talking to a colleague or friend then she’s not into it

eefr · 2023-05-26T18:51:41+00:00

Yes, I think it matters. I've found myself more or less attracted to dates based on how they behave on first dates, and I assume this happens to other people too.

On a first date, I would need to establish, at a bare minimum, whether they are:

Physically attractive to me
Very intelligent
Not obviously an asshole
Generally compatible with my values

Their behaviour on the date influences most of those assessments.

Safinated · 2023-05-26T17:08:49+00:00

I dunno; do you think turn offs exist?

Sea-Pepper-4548 · 2023-05-26T21:41:27+00:00

I haven’t been single for more than a few weeks in nine years

Once there’s that initial spark it hasn’t mattered at all how I choose to act, from as nerdy as I can be to all macho red pilled, it never made any difference.

You are clearly way above average from looks to the point where it doesn't matter what you say they still feel attracted to you. What you described cant be farther from the reality of the average man, its the exception, not the rule. The average guy has a way harder time not being single for more than a few weeks. And what they say and act on dates are pretty much what will determine how well the relationship goes.

thewhiteknight17 · 2023-05-26T17:48:25+00:00

Because looks > personality.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-05-26T18:52:21+00:00

I’ve paid and walked out on two dates with men I already knew a little about and had good conversations with. Deal breakers are a thing.

Ill-Menu5401 · 2023-05-26T19:36:24+00:00

Not if you're physically attractive to her which most men aren't.

anon018274031 · 2023-05-26T17:07:01+00:00

Yes.

I’ve walked out on dates because they were so rude or said/did things that made me feel disrespected or uncomfortable. And I’ve gone from no initial spark to practically throwing myself at them because of how they acted (the man I’m currently seeing being in this category).

It matters. But generally there are loads of other factors and variables at play to.

HazyMemory7 · 2023-05-26T22:02:32+00:00

Yes. The actual date is where the magic happens/where you charm a girl. Your looks will get you to the date, you need game after that to actually get her to like you. Unless you look like a male model, in some instances.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-26T17:14:04+00:00

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OpticalEpilepsy · 2023-05-26T18:16:48+00:00

It doesn't matter how you act according to the looks looks looks people who rarely if ever have romantic interactions with women

It does matter how you act according to the other 99% of humans

duenebula499 · 2023-05-26T17:11:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

szclimber · 2023-05-26T17:37:03+00:00

Looks are #1. Looking at your post history you are a 22M who has been consistently successful since 13 years old. You are an outlier for sure. Being tall at 6'3 helps a lot and if you have a decent face/body it's relatively easy. Your personality has to be terrible to scare young women away

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Orangematcha · 2023-05-26T17:45:51+00:00

People change in time so it’s normal to a degree. Putting up a front for a relationship usually doesn’t work just cause it’s an act you have to put up for who knows how long and can cause resentment since it looks like your partner is more into someone you’re pretending to be.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-05-26T18:01:18+00:00

It matters a lot. As a man I have to clear the looks bar, yes, but then I have to show social competence, make a woman comfortable, and create sexual tension in a natural-feeling way.

Once there’s that initial spark it hasn’t mattered at all how I choose to act...

Yeah, exactly. That's the hard part and creating this spark is what I described above. Once you've done the hard part I agree that you can act almost however you want and inertia and investment from the woman that you've earned by creating the spark will carry things forward.

Maybe you're naturally charming? Creating that spark can be hard for a lot of guys.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-05-26T18:12:42+00:00

Yes absolutely????

Kam_the_devil · 2023-05-26T18:33:12+00:00

I think it matters. If someone presents themselves one way on date one and then date two they are maybe more obnoxious or gross or rude, these things would usually kill it.

lolgobbz · 2023-05-26T18:59:23+00:00

It does to an extent- like there's some red flag behavior that one girl may over look but not another.

Why did you choose to change your attitude on each date? Were you responding to their energy?

Imagine you are on a date with a girl that you had previously went RP with, how would she probably responded if you acted differently?

Have you ever been viking on a date and all of a sudden she says something completely outrageous?

I was on a date once- really vibing- I liked everything about him- everything. Then he started talking about aliens. And different types of aliens. And I noped out of there so damn fast Wile E. Coyote did a doubletake.

shmupsy · 2023-05-26T19:13:15+00:00

I know what you mean. It's been true for me ish.

idk the dates I really failed, I was acting kind of effeminate

Admiral_Gen-Aladeen · 2023-05-26T19:14:02+00:00

Yea it does, it’s the test of compatibility

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-05-26T19:18:19+00:00

Yes, it matters. Also it would make sense that you would act differently with one person than with another since you're dealing with different people, having different conversations, etc.

daddysgotanew · 2023-05-28T01:26:10+00:00

If you’re at or below the looks threshold, yes. If you’re way above it, no.

Title	Does it really matter how you act on dates?
Author	duenebula499
Upvotes	18
Comments	44
Date	May 26, 2023 4:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13sihwr/does_it_really_matter_how_you_act_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-it-really-matter-how-you-act-on-dates.1220457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220457

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