Sit down tomorrow

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-08-03T01:59:13+00:00

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Why? These people never truly understand why. Lot’s of stuff she needs to unpack to understand. All the reasons she would give you, will be the same reasons she gives the next guy.

You’ll get answers to why she believes she cheated. They just won’t be accurate.

Either_Evidence_1986 · 2023-08-03T01:36:35+00:00

Personally I dont see the point of understanding why she cheated or had an affair. The short answer is because she's trash. Understanding why she had an affair isn't going to help you at all. Thats my opinion at least but do what makes you feel better. My marriage is ending for similiar reasons and I couldn't care less why she cheated. She did and thats all that matters

Reflog1791 · 2023-08-03T04:02:37+00:00

She cheated cuz she wanted to. The End.

She lied cuz she didn’t want to get caught. Now that she’s caught whatever she says is just self serving.

Really not that complicated.

Duchesst · 2023-08-03T01:35:07+00:00

Keep it to the coparenting stuff. Everything else serves no purpose

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-08-03T07:21:34+00:00

Why would you do this to yourself?

rootron80 · 2023-08-03T18:10:11+00:00

Reading your responses and talking with a friend that went through something similar to this I agree nothing can be done about marriage and no point in dredging it up. My friend described him asking those questions to his ex as giving her a gun and loading it for her and when she answered it was like she pulled the trigger. I have to get more into the mindset that we are not friends anymore, a friend would not treat you like that. We are parents with 2 amazing children and nothing more to each other. Unless it puts my kids in danger how she lives her life now is on her and I am not going to be here for her if she falls. She gave up all that.

captainchippsixx · 2023-08-03T21:37:02+00:00

Dude. Don’t do it. Discuss the co parents but f the closure. Trust me. She will not admit the truth anyway. She has a fabricated story in her head that she says over and over. That way she can feel like she is not a shitty wife and human being for stabbing you in the back.

ww3historian · 2023-08-03T03:59:54+00:00

My man, it’s not good that you were best friends before you got married. It means she married you cos you were her friend, but she was never attracted to you. She found a guy she was attracted to and went for it. No need to go over this with her.

rootron80 · 2023-08-03T14:33:11+00:00

You guys are probably right, it is just hard because she denies ever doing anything with the guy while married but has admitted 3 days after the divorce finalized they were together. I have known for a while that something was going on but whenever I questioned who was calling or who she was out with or why she wasn't wearing her wedding ring I got accused of being controlling and abusive for asking those questions. Just trying to get my mental state right so that I can be strong and not break down in front of kids and be the rock that they need right now.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-08-03T15:13:20+00:00

You don't need to know, and it's best if you don't go there. All you will get is a load of BS anyway and blame shifting to make it seem like you were the problem. Sure, have the conversation about the future direction and kids arrangements, but grey rock ANYTHING else. She CHEATED on you, you do not need to be her friend, confidant or emotional tampon anymore....she is simply the mother of your kids and NONE of your concern anymore. Your focus should be entirely on yourself and your kids...END OF!!! She made her choices, now is time for her to live with the consequences, one of which is she does not get to unburden herself of the guilt or make you then bad guy.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-08-04T16:10:33+00:00

Keep your head in the sand. Focus on the kids. Don’t start digging and making wounds deeper

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-08-05T12:28:35+00:00

Once a cheater, always a cheater. My exw cheated on her 1st fiance and painted him as abusive and I bet $1000 she says the same crap to old man balls AP. Who cares, they lie to themselves to justify it and in time, she will probably cheat on him. I just have to laugh how stupid AP is, two failed marriages and he is going all in on a cheating women and he is almost in his 50s and exw is late 30s. Good luck buddy.

Save yourself the energy OP, ditch her fast, only talk about your kids and find someone worth your time.

Seemedlikefun · 2023-08-04T02:37:52+00:00

Yoda says: foolish this one is!

dadplup · 2023-08-04T03:04:00+00:00

Make sure you are recording the meeting, don't have it in a private place, have as many witnesses as possible for your protection and document every interaction, save every text message, voice-mail and calls.

Knowing about the affair won't help you, it will only make things in your head worse, I know that much, there are times I wish I hadn't asked my ex about it, because it only broke my heart and my trust in her

I'm sorry that you're going thru this

Ever-learning271 · 2023-08-07T01:10:24+00:00

Good Luck❤️‍🩹 Sadly whatever she tells you will not be the truth regarding the cheating…know that women disengage/detach months or years before they cheat & typically connect emotionally before sexually…don’t shoot the messenger! Been there bra..praying for ya ❤️‍🩹

Jsutton3187 · 2023-08-03T15:35:40+00:00

Just remember she was never permanently yours, just yours at the time. There will be plenty others wholl be the same and keep that thought in the forefront.

Play nice as possible keeping the kids in focus, not maintaining her lifestyle, just remember civil civil civil.

Praying you can both move on. Who cares about the "why" - there could be a million reasons or none .. don't let that part drive you mad.

Title	Sit down tomorrow
Author	rootron80
Upvotes	6
Comments	27
Date	August 3, 2023 1:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15gqaqt/sit_down_tomorrow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/sit-down-tomorrow.1227204 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227204

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