Q4M: To the men who met their female friends or romantic prospects IRL, where do you meet them?

grillopie · 2023-10-06T19:19:24+00:00

Friendships: school, youth political organization, other friends

Partners: school, parties

Did not spark any connection immediately for the people i met irl. Got their info, socialized a bit asked out.

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2023-10-06T19:21:40+00:00

Mostly work and friends of family. One friend we met because I gave her a ride back to her house, I used talk about that story alot in here. She looked me up on FB after I dropped her off, no rizz or anything she was just curious if I knew her sister who's a little older than me. One of my situationships started as my neighbor when I was living in Maryland with my best friend, she was a 40~ yo woman and she would sit out in the little terrace with a bathing suit to sunbathe I asked her for a cigarette or something and she gave me her almost dead vape to keep. When he kicked me out (best friend doesn't necessarily mean living together was a good idea I learned)I asked if I could stay with her a couple weeks, which was a really wild time.

As far as maintaining friendships it's a struggle because I'm not too attuned to gift giving and really like my alone time, so I have to really force myself to keep in touch and keep hanging out with people. I try to hangout with friends solo or as a group at least twice a week at a minimum, and since everyone isn't always available I can ask about and check up on most of my close friends every week just by asking if people want to go out to eat or walk around a dead mall. For the people really close to me I remember their birthdays and try to wish people happy holidays to the best of my ability

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-10-06T21:26:46+00:00

male friends

My best friend and I have been boys since 5 years old. Our other two besties boys since 12.

out and about

Met my wife at a work conference. She was friends with my cousin. Who had talked me up to her. Bumped into each other, exchanged numbers. Was dating someone else at the time, but when ended I reached out. Best choice of my life.

Godspeed and good luck!

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-10-06T23:00:13+00:00

I met my wife through her brother-in-law who was my co-worker at the time. My wife saw a picture of us together and told her brother that she thought I was cute. A little while after that he introduced us. After we got together and became official my wife told me that her brother had vouched for me and that's was the driving factor in her wanting to meet me, so my marriage is a direct example of just how important social proofing is.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-06T21:59:10+00:00

Kava/Kratom bar and parties or just chilling with friends.

I don't do anything they came to me.

My male friends its harder to describe basically a tornado of circumstances from selling drugs to just running into them at parties. One of my good friends I met while he was trying to car jack me as I was OD'ing on heroin I woke up and he made up a story about how he was saving me and I knew it was BS but I just decided I'd be friends with him

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throwaway164_3 · 2023-10-07T02:30:47+00:00

Female friends: friends of friends, grad school, work, apt neighbors, parties, hobby clubs

Male friends: same as above

romantic prospects: None IRL. Zilch. All my dates (~200-300) were via only online dating over years. Met all my partners online.

Workaholiconew · 2023-10-06T18:30:05+00:00

Work, church, gym, laundry, parks, bustops etc...

I dont spark any connection I just talk, try flirting and see where it goes...

If you wanna maintain friendships youmust interact. I often just go drink with friends by the beach.

Most of my male friends I met through work, college or school

PrecisionHat · 2023-10-06T18:47:50+00:00

My male friends I mostly met through highschool. We've kept close over the years. Some others I met at University. Same with my female friends.

As for my wife, my friend was dating her roommate and I would end up hanging out with her whenever I'd go to the city (he and I lived in a rural area outside a major city). When he broke up with her, I realized I wouldn't have an excuse to hang out with this girl anymore, so I reached out to her on social media (facebook). We started meeting up just the two of us, and the rest is history.

She has been pretty honest about not really being interested in me at first. I won her over, over time lol. I think she was screwed around by a few assholes before me and she was finally ready for someone who wasn't going to half-commit.

sine120 · 2023-10-06T19:05:50+00:00

Met in school. I'm funny and make tasty food. Girls like laughing and eating tasty food. Eventually I had a lot of women in my friend group, one migrated from friendzone to gf zone (although apparently several liked me). We already knew it was easy to be friends so we just added relationship stuff to the list of things we did and eventually got married.

2023-10-06T18:34:38+00:00

Mutual friend

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-10-06T19:21:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-10-06T22:28:48+00:00

Where’d I meet them?: Lots of places. Mutual friends, university classes/organizations, church, out at the club, parties. Met my current GF at a mutual friend’s birthday dinner.

How’d I spark the connection?: Generally just look for an “in” and start the conversation from there. Did she mention a book I like? Is she wearing a piece of merch from a show I watch? Does she have a cool looking tattoo?

How do I maintain friendships?: Same things I do with male friends. Invite them to outings, text at least a couple times a week, offer support or advice where needed. If I’m not getting reciprocity in those things, then I generally take it as a sign to take some distance.

Bonus: I try to make as much time as possible for hanging out with friends, both men and women. Friendships are one of the most important things in life, both for practical and emotional reasons.

IneffablyEffed · 2023-10-06T23:37:31+00:00

At a dance club. It can happen!

I asked her to dance and we did.

RonMexico432 · 2023-10-07T00:54:26+00:00

Literally anywhere

candikanez · 2023-10-07T00:56:31+00:00

At work (we were just friends and never got together until after I stopped working there), through friends and friends of friends, at a bar. Most of my exes were met through friends and friends of friends.

Certain_Form_3349 · 2023-10-07T00:58:11+00:00

I’ve always been friends with girls, if you are a genuine guy and fun to be around, they’ll set you up. No hope for losers.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-10-07T02:50:44+00:00

Work.

mrcs84usn · 2023-10-07T06:22:49+00:00

I’ve met a lot of them in the club scene. I’m a happy drunk, and I can dance, so I was just fun to be around.

Barely-moral · 2023-10-07T15:01:36+00:00

20 hours is enough to let normal people talk before I bring the weird.

For the men who met female friends or women they date(d) out and and about in the world, where’d you meet them?

Potential partner. Homeless shelter. No female friendships. Aquaintances maybe. There as well. It is not a friendship if they are not willing to hide a body for me and I would do the same for her.

How’d you spark the connection?

Not at all at the beginning. At the start it is all business. After the relationship is way on their way I have time to prove that I am more than just business.

For the friendships, how do you maintain the friendship?

With female aquaintances I don't. With male friendships I don't need to.

How did you meet your male friends?

School. Job. Shared hobbies. I'm that order.

Do you regularly enough hangout with your male friends?

Shared activities. Once a week/once every two weeks.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-10-07T15:43:49+00:00

Most of my friends who are girls I met in high school or college. As for my (ex) wife, I met her on an online dating site. I've met other women on occasion at bars, been approached a few times, but nothing was made of it. Friends are maintained by shared interests, conversations, and just being together.

crash-8-ball · 2023-10-07T21:47:08+00:00

Mostly bars, social events, events from Meetup.

Mainly look for an in, make a comment on something happening nearby, get an opinion, whatever.

I don't stick to them from then on. I go talk to other people, etc. Then they generally hunt me out and come find me or they don't (whilst at event).

If its a daytime MeetUp event or something, I may then suggest going for a coffee. This works better when its a group of 2 - 4 women, than a single one. Probably seems less predatory. Then just take it from there. There is no playbook, no garuntee of it going anywhere else. But its still better than doing nothing and just going home. At the worst, I have an enjoyable hour or two,

Clubs, sort of the same. Anyway relationship I have had from a club or bar, is by befriending a group. Sometimes, I end up dating one, sometimes theres a ONS, sometimes nothing. The outcome isn't what matters at the time.

Male firends, mostly a few from when I was at school and a few from work. Most I have ever bonded with guys was in the forces. But the army know you won't give a toss about whatever "cause" they are selling, but they know if they get a load of guys put em through hell, they will bond as they have to work together. For obvious reasons, civvi street dosn't have the optimal conditions for this sort of male bonding.

JackBurton4 · 2023-10-06T18:17:53+00:00

Met her at the gym. We just started talking one day. And then she would Come over to talk anytime she saw me there. We were just friends for a couple cause she had a bf. But after she broke up with him we started dating.

DerayRevan · 2023-10-06T18:23:20+00:00

I've been with my male friends since preschool and many l grew up with in my neighborhood

My first girlfriend l met at school through a event and we've been in the same class but never talked to each other, so just approached her

My current girlfriend l met when she was going at the club with her friends, and our conversation was basically l find you attractive type, and once l told her l was leaving town that week she was ok giving me her contacts and we started dating from there

PlainTundra · 2023-10-06T18:23:58+00:00

Generally in places where you see them regularly, once a week at least: work, commute, gym... Everything starts with non-verbal communication such glances, up nods, smirks. If the thing scalates, it's easy to start talking. And from there just depends on what you or they want.

peteypete78 · 2023-10-06T18:25:04+00:00

For the men who met female friends or women they date(d) out and and about in the world, where’d you meet them?

Early on (late teen/early 20's) it was friends of friends, general social circle. Now it's work, I meet a lot of people due to visiting clients businesses and I talk and mingle with the employees, I'll talk to anyone and everyone, and what usually happens is one employee will say to me "so and so likes you you know" and then I'll talk to them more if I find them attractive and if I think we click I'll ask them out.

For the friendships, how do you maintain the friendship?

Friendships at my age mostly have been with people I have known since school/college and we all have kids/work/lives so meet up when we are free or our kids are at the same thing (football)

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-06T19:37:17+00:00

Coffee shop/friends bday. Friend worked at a coffeehouse, cute girl worked there, I got coffee there pretty frequently, about 18 months later we met at a bday party, I fumbled, met again 6 months later at July 4th party, fumbled again, met again 3 months later at a wedding, did not fumble a 3rd time

Zabadoodude · 2023-10-06T20:41:02+00:00

Women: School/University, social hobbies (mainly theater), singles/ "looking for friends" Meetup groups

Guy friends: School/Uni, nerdy hobbies, reddit looking for friends sub for my city, at the hospital hours after he was born in the case of my brother.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-06T20:56:30+00:00

My male friends I've been friends with since childhood.

All the women I meet is through mutual friends, parties, outside literally anywhere I am if I see a girl who I'm attracted to I'll just go introduce myself. Met homegirls from this tea house in my city, outside activities, running clubs, and volunteering with non profits in my city.

I just be talking my shit to the women I can sense a vibe or some level of attraction from.

-angels-fanatic- · 2023-10-06T21:02:57+00:00

I met my wife at a Mormon over-25 singles dance.

She was upstairs looking over the dance floor, and I followed her up and said "is this where the good people watching is?"

She tells me that it was a really good line, and she turned to face me to make sure I knew she was interested. We chatted for a good hour. But then she said that she only lets her kids watch Little House on the Prairie and I noped out.

We ran into each other at the same dance a month or so later and she brought her friend, whom she introduced me to. The friend and I sort of dated and we had some get togethers where my wife attended. The more I talked to my wife, the more I really enjoyed her. I dropped the friend and started dating my wife.

KingOfTheIncels_ · 2023-10-06T21:07:30+00:00

Friends mostly. College school and work. Thought I want to get into volunteering more and other social hobbies.

LoFiPanda14 · 2023-10-06T18:27:27+00:00

I only had them in high school and one in college through mutual people who was a friend for a short time due to similar interests (I made beats, friend engineered, she sung). No long term friendship was ever maintained and I never had romantic prospects. I didn’t make friends well and I don’t have a single friendship from high school or college.

My male childhood friend we’ve been friends since kindergarten so about 25 years now. We liked videogames. We don’t hangout, he has a wife and other things going and I’m a shut in, which he is aware of so he knows not to invite me to anything besides his wedding last year. We’ll group game online so that’s our “hangout”.

keebydee · 2023-10-06T18:57:41+00:00

For the men who met female friends or women they date(d) out and and about in the world, where’d you meet them?

How’d you spark the connection?

For the friendships, how do you maintain the friendship?

I don't have any female friends.

Bonus Question: How did you meet your male friends? Do you regularly enough hangout with your male friends?

In high school. I hang out with them once a week.

Live-Painter964188 · 2023-10-06T19:44:42+00:00

I Work, gym, school, on the street, grocery store. Stop obeying feminists’ rules on where and when you can approach women and be unapologetic. Women perceive that as confidence and dominance.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-10-06T20:09:43+00:00

Every lady I’ve every become familiar with has been brought around by someone I’m already friendss with.

All my male friends were met either from the neighborhood growing up, through school, specifically while playing sports, or in college.

I also know some dudes from riding bmx .

I dont generally “ keep up” with friendships. Just send memes or they may call from time to time. And when I’m in or going to the town they live in I’ll message them

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-10-06T20:14:59+00:00

The only girls I haven't met from apps have been from work or friends of a friend. That's it.

CountMandrake · 2023-10-07T00:41:24+00:00

The youngest one I'm dating was my student at university for four months, we've been dating for two years now. We are in a "situationship" so to speak. She's quite liberal tho.j

The second younger (28, single mom) ran into me at a night club.

I met the older one (36) when we were 20-22 (she's two years older than me) through mutual friends, and we were aquainted but never intimate, just friends who ran into each other ocassionally and shared the same social group. Not too long ago we met again, and appearently sje had recently broken with her ex of six years and a good friend of mine approached me and said "look, X's boyfriend dumped her and she came here tonigjt decided to screw the first guy she runs into, and the girls don't want her to go home with a stranger so we would all appreciate it if you take one for the team and give her a good time". I did and we have been basically fucking here and there for the past 8 months.

Title	Q4M: To the men who met their female friends or romantic prospects IRL, where do you meet them?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	14
Comments	58
Date	October 6, 2023 6:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/171jflo/q4m_to_the_men_who_met_their_female_friends_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-to-the-men-who-met-their-female-friends-or.1234232 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234232

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