I had a 1SG that said he never wanted to win the Medal of Honor or Purple Heart, or especially any POW related award because it meant that you probably experienced some crazy traumatic shit and the “awards” and recognition isn’t worth the lifetime of having to deal with the emotional turmoil of going through the experience.

I’m almost a year into a separation I did not want, but now I find myself sprinting to the finish line so I can get this over with. A year of living on my own terms and peacefully within the confines of my home have completely changed how I view relationships. My income has 3x and expenses cut in half since she left. I’m going to Mexico next week to kick off the new year in style and between some thighs. I literally do not know what I was thinking when I married this woman. It’s was essentially self cock blocking.

What changed for me in the last 9 or so months has been reflecting on all of the sacrifices I made to make one person happy. How a month before she decided That she “had to leave” I was a “great husband and partner” according to her social media posts. Then one day out of the blue I wasn’t good enough anymore. It’s been 11 months, I literally still don’t have a reason as to why she didn’t want to be married anymore., though I can imagine. It took me a looooong time to process this and accept it for what it is. You can spend DECADES being an amazing husband, father, community leader, field trip chaperone etc. It literally does not matter because one day if she decides to pull the rug you’re fucked.

At least in the Military when they decide that you are of no use anymore, they do attempt to “transition” you back into civilian life. The VA does offer resources if you’re struggling. Your wife is the complete opposite. It’s arguably in her best interest if you wash out. If you off yourself she can use it to get sympathy, all of your resources, AND use it against you to make herself the victim. SHE WILL USE YOUR SUICIDE AS EVIDENCE IN HER (public opinion) ‘CASE’ against you, and justification for her leaving.