My bf broke up with me because of my body count

thirdeye3333 · 2024-01-08T13:17:41+00:00

Body count? You killed too many people?

undercovertrad · 2024-01-08T13:27:32+00:00

Concerns about sexual past aren’t necessarily a red pill only thing. As a woman, I see promiscuous behavior in a man as a red flag in terms of impulse control and values around sexuality. I would not want to be with a man who has slept with significantly more people than I have. Generally, a a big mismatch in sexual history is a recipe for disaster. My husband had never heard of the red pill but he wouldn’t have wanted to marry a woman with a significantly more sordid sexual past than he had. It’s about shared values and compatibility, and it goes both ways.

The only way it’s a red pill red flag is if he’s been promiscuous himself but thinks it’s fine because he’s a dude. Otherwise, it’s just about personal values around sexuality, which can often be cultural and/or religious.

Edited to add: I read your post history and the bigger problem was probably that you lied about your sexual past. That’s a red flag behavior in anyone and a sign someone isn’t fully trustworthy in a relationship, regardless of gender. Red pill or not, that choice of dishonesty is a good way to get dumped even if you later come back with the truth.

Isabella091993 · 2024-01-08T19:22:16+00:00

Why do you feel shame about being experienced with sex? That’s really dumb. Who gives a f about what some men think about you? lol they’re losers. I look back at my sexual history and smile every time I remember how much I enjoyed my sexual experiences. I have what the kids today call a “low body count” yet I had a taste of different types of men and it was great. Zero regrets.

Enigma2028 · 2024-01-08T18:41:41+00:00

Maybe he’s just insecure or feel like your body count is indicative of you potentially sleeping around on him if you ever became unsatisfied. Regardless, it’s a good thing he broke up with you. He should appreciate your honesty and not care about what happened before him. You dodged a bullet.

Melificarum · 2024-01-08T13:21:23+00:00

It sounds like he was manipulating you with pretty basic pick up artist tactics of push and pull. Not letting you meet his family and friends makes me think he might have had other girls on the side. Then he drops you because of your trauma? He’s a monster; forget him and move on.

leandrot · 2024-01-08T13:25:32+00:00

Reading your story, I feel strong redpill vibes from your ex.

Answering your question, there are many misogynysts that are not redpillers and would judge based on body count even if the woman regretted it. However, if I understood correctly, your cases weren't just regrets, they were outright abuses. This makes it way likelier that he's a redpiller.

However, this isn't the biggest tell. See, TRP teaches men how to get and keep women and the tatics revolve around small abuses to make her addicted to you. Everything you mentioned I read as an advice from TRP.

Not meeting families/friends (less justifications needed if he decides to terminate), days without talking to you (make sure you never feel like you're having enough of him + easier to keep other women around), no future talk (once again, easier to ditch), never going on dates (no expenditure on his part), all this in an attempt to make you less secure and anxious and thus incentivizing you to keep trying to convince him to treat you better.

mynameisburner · 2024-01-08T13:48:07+00:00

So I read your OG Post and you seem like a good person the fact that you’re willing to take any feedback whether it’s positive or negative and that’s admirable.

I will say this. I’ve seen so many comments calling men immature for wanting women with little amount of sexual partners. It’s pretty disgusting to see men get shamed for their preferences. Yes, preferences. Just like how women prefer how much a man should make or how tall he is. Oh God I’m rambling.

For what it’s worth OP, it seems like both of you weren’t good for each other at all. I understand why he left but he should’ve been straight up with you from the jump, and also from your post was there any sexual abuse from those 10 affairs? You never implied even when I was trying to read between the lines. Hope you’re doing better and find someone who will treat you good.

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2024-01-08T13:53:21+00:00

Your ex is a loser. Any guy that asks about your body count is just insecure about his lack of experience and is a major red flag.

MrWusBBQPork · 2024-01-08T13:23:43+00:00

Somewhat tangential to the post, I am in the process of becoming ex redpill so bear with me. I am genuinely curious and would appreciate insight.

Why is it wrong for me to prefer a woman with low body count? Is it wrong for me to want a woman who practices restraint more often than not?

Women with high body counts CAN have unresolved emotional baggage which could put a relationship at risk. And if she has no baggage or resolved it, then I would possibly be more open to compromising on my preferences. But I would have to be absolutely sure that it is in the past for her.

In the same way, I've had problems with drugs/drinking/gambling - all highly unattractive behavior. I don't do these things anymore but if I told a woman this and she wanted to break up I would think that her decision is fair. Because even if the risk is small, it is still a risk for her and she can have her preferences.

wonderberry77 · 2024-01-08T15:23:40+00:00

Ah, the trash takes itself out. I love a happy ending!

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2024-01-08T13:21:02+00:00

Not necessarily part of redpill some people don't like when a partner has slept with a certain number of people, if he's slept with the same sort of number then he's a hypocrite. Not everyone is bothered by stuff like that though just find someone else. I don't really see why you'd bother dating a guy who ignores you for months and uses the term body count

justbeacaveman · 2024-01-08T14:33:06+00:00

Yep many men do care about their life partners sexual history. But many of those men including me also are willing to accept if you regret that past and you've changed.

shawninpa · 2024-01-08T14:49:50+00:00

As long as he didn't use you, and add to it he has every right. That's his decision, and preference

young_edgar17th · 2024-01-08T17:30:48+00:00

He's not redpill he just has standards, both men and women would preferably want a partner that doesn't have a sexual past that consists with a lot of partners. It is just how society is. Your past will make you into who you are today.

Justdance13 · 2024-01-08T18:01:57+00:00

I will never understand why people care about this. The past is the past. I think people who worry about body counts are people that can’t leave their own past behind. People do your thing and just be careful.

thrownawaytodaysr · 2024-01-08T14:40:48+00:00

Sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to bail and used misogynistic beliefs as his justification. Red pill adjacent at the very least.

TenaciousVillain · 2024-01-08T15:03:56+00:00

Body count is not a normal part of dating discourse. Many have no idea what it means. Little boys talk about it. It’s an immediate red flag that someone is consuming bullshit in their spare time.

Chaos-Knight · 2024-01-08T14:14:51+00:00

I personally don't care, but the redpill manlets around here and everywhere are completely neurotic about this topic. If I was a woman I'd always lie from now on given the prevalence of these inferiority antics.

dindenver · 2024-01-08T16:12:10+00:00

You don't have to be redpill to be insecure about body counts.

Some guys are just immature and can't respect a partner with a higher body count.

Please don't let this fool damage your self esteem.

shawninpa · 2024-01-08T13:55:58+00:00

I can't speak for all men, but yes, most guys I know definitely care. I'm a christian so that poses different reasons for me. I tried holding myself accountable, and I wanted the same. I never wanted to be last in a long line.

Ok-Firefighter8779 · 2024-01-08T14:31:56+00:00

"He asked for every detail, so I told him. He hasn’t spoken to me in 2 days and so I tried to contact him and he said it was over."

I will probably get downovted as hell as it might be considered a "slutshaming" but please listen up if you don't want the story repeated.

People ask such questions, hoping for one specific answer. If they hear another one, it can lead to absolute disgust with other partner. Knowing the truth won't change anything for both parties. 9 out of 10 people, even these who claim to be progressive and do not care about "body count", do not want in fact to hear details of sexual life of their partners! I never knew about past sexual life of my partners and if they started mentioning anything, I asked them to STOP right away. It will cause nothing but intrusive thoughts.

You have full right to sleep with as many men as you wish, it's your body, your life, you did absolutely nothing wrong. But please do not share such information with your future boyfriends. If they ask, tell something like "a few" and if they keep asking for details, insist on not telling anything and tell them, you don't want to hear anything either.

Your boyfriend's reaction could be a signal of him being into RP but it could be just pure human jealousy. I'm a woman, who's strongly against RP, but if I heard of adventurous boyfriend's past, I'd feel disgusted too. I'm well aware people had partners before me but it's just a general idea. Once you listen to a story and imagine actual people, you get a wrong picture in your head.

White lies aren't always bad.

On the other hand your bf is crazy if he expected you at 28F to be basically a "virgin" (hate this societal construct) but it's another story. Forget the loser. Btw, this part: " he could go days without talking to me, no future talk, never went on dates" you should have broken up with him long ago on your own.

mysterious_123 · 2024-01-08T18:39:34+00:00

It’s possible he is red pill, or maybe seen some of those goofy vids and discussions on body count.

loadthespaceship · 2024-01-08T19:00:09+00:00

I answered the question in previous relationships as “I have no STIs and you are my only partner since we became serious. That’s all that you need to know and anything else isn’t your business.”

WRX_MOM · 2024-01-08T13:51:01+00:00

I am SO glad I am not gen z trying to date right now. Gen Z men are absolutely ruined by red pill culture. Good luck, ladies.

ManWazo · 2024-01-08T13:30:32+00:00

Misogyny is not exclusive to redpill

lvoncreek · 2024-01-08T13:24:17+00:00

He is probably red pilled yes

sickbabe · 2024-01-08T16:28:30+00:00

hard to tell if he's just a 16 year old or heavily into redpill, but either way I think you dodged a bullet. I've never had anyone ask me that but if they did it'd be the end of the discussion. std test before doing anything? that's responsible and looking out for your health. bodycount is a question asked by teenage boys and men insecure in their sexual experience (which honestly hasn't been a problem for me either since the people I've slept with with little experience haven't been assholes).

white_pony01 · 2024-01-08T16:40:05+00:00

At the risk of getting jumped on I'm going to say concern about number of previous sexual partners is not only a red pill issue, in fact admit it or not, most men have a bit of insecurity around it. That said the way he handled your experiences sounds reprehensible and you are worth much better than that. If you ever find yourself in a relationship with a really good guy and he seems nervous about your sexual history, just reassure him that there is nothing to be jealous or worried about and that you choose him. I know that makes men sound insecure and self absorbed. And yes, that's exactly what we are. My opinion is that letting that be okay is actually far better counter to misogyny than shouting at men for having these sentiments. In return, he owes you the same acceptance and support of similar feelings of yours that would be completely normal since he probably has sexual history too, and kindness considering how you were treated when you were younger. Stay platinum x

Birthday_Personal · 2024-01-08T18:46:21+00:00

This isn't just red pill stuff it's human nature. Most dudes whether they want to admit it or not would prefer a woman with lower body count or at least lower than his

Tommynopants · 2024-01-08T17:36:40+00:00

a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock

Nappy_Ty · 2024-01-08T13:09:08+00:00

what’s your body count?

DanelMatt · 2024-01-08T13:10:07+00:00

Women past is very important every men,even if they are red pill or not,but many of them won t recognize that and live with low self esteem around their girl with high bodycount.However another factor is if your sexual contacts are made with guys who you ve had loving relationships with or from random hookups.Can I ask you what your bodycount is that your boyfriend broke up with you ?Because maybe its not that big of a problem and he is just very anxious.

Red_Trapezoid · 2024-01-08T17:42:25+00:00

"Body count" is such a grotesque term to use in regards to past sexual partners, so probably yes and if not some misogyny rubbed off on him somewhere.

Some men care, some men don't. The academic profile for promiscuous people is not flattering to say the least so it being a concern is understandable but I'm pretty sure your ex would have no problem having sex with tons of women if he could.

OptimalExpression540 · 2024-01-08T15:29:26+00:00

😂😂😂

Different-Item-7994 · 2024-01-08T20:07:13+00:00

he probably had a different idea of you in his mind, and that was destroyed, maybe not the count maybe just other things altogether.. when that vision is destroyed a partner can lose attraction. I know of some people who have to keep lying cause they know they can't expose the truth cause their partner's vision of them will be lost. Redpill term is 'to control frame'. women are usually really good at this. good luck on the next guy. If you want to be 100% truthful I would look for someone with a similar past or that will accept any regrets you have.

Title	My bf broke up with me because of my body count
Author	Immediate-Summer8964
Upvotes	41
Comments	113
Date	January 8, 2024 12:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/191kn0q/my_bf_broke_up_with_me_because_of_my_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/my-bf-broke-up-with-me-because-of-my-body-count.1242512 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242512

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