My current problem seems to be not having that much of the ‘bad boy’ vibe going for me

modidlee · 2022-01-17T17:43:46+00:00

You can’t be afraid to push the envelope sexually in a playful way. I was recently test driving a car and the saleswoman was riding with me. So she told me she liked the tattoo on my wrist. I could see she had quite a few tatts so I told her I liked hers too. Then I asked how many she had besides the ones I could see on her arms and the part of one I could on her leg (she was wearing a dress). She said she had the ones I could see plus some more that I couldn’t see right then. I looked her up and down in the seat next to me and said “Well what does a man have to do to get the privilege of seeing those?” She smiled and long story short, we eventually started talking about more than me buying a car. Women love to know a guy they see as handsome actually recognizes their sexiness. Don’t let #metoo fool you

Zombie3185960 · 2022-01-17T17:23:37+00:00

Try unironically imitating austin powers by yourself to see what it feels like. Notice how he's not a manly man, not a dbag and not the dark brooding mr serious, either. Yet he still projects confident, flirtatious, fun, playful, sexual energy that is masculine in its own right. Obviously you won't be doing an actual spot on austin powers impression when the moment comes and you're flirting with a woman, but just get a feel for what that energy is like.

MattPruga · 2022-01-17T17:11:47+00:00

I understand your position. I am more of a "nice guy" myself. You need to get in touch with your masculine self, we all have it. Hit the gym, get that free testosterone.

Work on your vocal projecion, lower your voice. Work on keeping good eye contact. Take pauses when you speak and don't talk fast. These things alone will make the conversation man to woman. Make sexual innuendos, don't be afraid to say what you mean.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-01-17T22:35:33+00:00

Read - No More Mr Nice Guy.

quantumactual · 2022-01-17T23:25:43+00:00

You need a bit of arrogance. That’s what the ‘bad boy’ is - someone confident enough to make himself look like a fool and who owns it. You don’t literally need to be a criminal.

stopwastingmytime81 · 2022-01-17T20:26:49+00:00

It's not about being a "bad boy." It's about being confident, an individual, funny, and unafraid to escalate things.

No one in the world would describe me as excessively attractive or a bad boy, but I run through women. Being respectfully direct is very sexy to women.

Robofrogg1 · 2022-01-19T02:02:54+00:00

Just being ‘a good conversationalist’ is not nearly enough. That is boring and will get you friend zoned in a heartbeat. From what you wrote, it sounds like you are trying to impress women with ‘your intellect,’ but women are EMOTIONAL. You need to be lighthearted, funny, and unpredictable. You want women to feel GOOD around you. Forget about trying to impress them. Ask questions and let the woman do 80% of the talking. Try not to be serious and try not to care if you say or do something stupid. You WILL sooner or later, and that’s ok— just keep at it.

Basically, if you can make a woman laugh and feel special, she will associate those feelings with being around you, and she will want to keep being around you because you are literally like a drug to her. So, forget logic. Forget trying to show off how smart you are. Focus on being unpredictable, positive, funny, lighthearted, and you will do much, much better.

Cactus2711 · 2022-01-17T21:06:20+00:00

Totally feel this. I'm the same way, I recently had a woman back to my place and was unable to escalate because I'm being too 'respectful'. Unless a woman makes it completely obvious she wants to have sex, I'm pretty hopeless. My way has always been to friend zone them and hope that makes them want more. Not sure why I do this because the success rate is terrible.

atif147 · 2022-01-17T20:16:14+00:00

Dont be a bad guy. Coming from a bad guy.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-01-18T09:40:47+00:00

It's kinda common problem mate. One thing that's useful for you to know. Men thinks rationally, women thinks emotionally so if you wanna her to be your gf/fuckduddy whatever you have to trigger emotions, but how you do that? Pretty simple. Your verbal and non verbal communication. Your actions her emotions. Like holding long deep eye content, deeper your voice and speak slowly, being as close to her as possible and ofc flirting and teasing back and forth maybe you can use some banters or push pulls too if you're more like a player. Btw you're doing one thing right. For a girl to sleep with you needs 2 things. Value and comfort. Storytelling and get to know each other good for building comfort but overall you have to create emotions to move things forward to sex or relationship or whatever your end goal is. Hope it helped

ctmsansei · 2022-01-17T22:13:15+00:00

your problem is thinking that's your problem, because you arent seeing the other problems and its solutions. read "models" by mark manson please, it will help you a lot, give you a lot to work with.

DCCyclone1990 · 2022-01-17T23:59:38+00:00

I'm like you, I can start and keep a conversation that leaves women putting me in either of 2 boxes: (1) friend zone if they're not attracted to me or otherwise not interested, which is most, or (2) potential boyfriend, which is a few.

"Bad boy" means you want women's raw sexual interest. I've never been good at that, because it's outside my comfort zone, because I grew up absorbing, for a variety of reasons, more puritanical sexual behavior.

Note I'm 53 and long divorced with 3 kids I'm still raising, and currently with a 3-year girlfriend. I've learned to behave more sexually confidently in middle-age as a divorced man, within a relationship (my current girlfriend was preceded by others). But I never unlearned my inhibition around strangers I'm attracted to. Maybe if I'm single again someday I'll find I've grown enough to be more assertive up front.

All this is to say you just have to believe in your own masculinity and virility to not care about rejection, and absorb it to find the ones who will be drawn to you. Mechanics of flirting matter, but believing in yourself as sexually desirable is the prerequisite.

poetichippi · 2022-01-18T05:05:27+00:00

A good, easy way to test the waters is to compliment how she looks in what she is wearing. Not the clothes. Her in the clothes. Be specific, speak in a paced, confident tone and look at the item of clothing while saying it, meeting her eyes at the end of the sentence. For instance “you look, amazing, in that shirt,” then meet her eyes. “Woah. That dress looks, great on you.” Offer a slight smile when you meet her eyes. Only slight. This is a subtle gesture but an intuitive woman will feel the vibe and if it clicks, she’ll lean into it and you can continue building from there

Neil1398 · 2022-01-18T07:31:56+00:00

A lotta times it’s about toeing the line between being too explicit and implicit.

Like the top comment said don’t let this me too shit fool you, because imo women are way more overt sexually than you would think. They talk about sex with their friends all the time. Like they even go into crazy detail.

So you have to just be comfortable with you’re sexuality as a man, and risk that she might feel uncomfortable. But that shouldn’t really happen, unless you’re making really uncalibrated moves, or she sees you as a friend (because you never built any tension). You should be slowly building up comfort in the set and then bring you’re sexuality out with subtle teases and spikes to keep her interested in the comfort phase(that’s the tension part). Touch also escalates this process.

Also, bro don’t feel like you have to get all of this now, it’s a process. After reading all these comments you’ll have a better idea but you probably still won’t feel entitled to act on it because it’ll be incongruent with you are as a person. It comes with experience.

This is why I suggest guys to do game at least for a year. That’ll improve you’re social skills, and make you more grounded as a man in terms of dating. It’ll also improve you’re self esteem overall whether you get results or not.

I’ve fumbled so many times and still do. But that’s what makes this shit so great because you learn to clear the way for greatness.

hulk_hogans_nutsweat · 2022-01-17T18:08:36+00:00

Your first mistake is being on reddit, OP. Search “Chad formula” on YouTube. He will guide you.

mightymite88 · 2022-01-17T17:13:58+00:00

Just be yourself. But be the best version of yourself. The most interesting version.

And most of all; learn to project energy. Learn to frame. Learn to build attraction. None of that requires being a bad boy. None of it means stop being yourself

Woujo · 2022-01-18T03:49:34+00:00

I wrote a post about how women are attracted to transgressive men. You should do a search for it and read it.

Opposite_Setting_588 · 2022-01-17T22:27:58+00:00

Coming from a woman, we don’t necessarily crave bad boys, but we do crave feeling wanted and desired. You can show that you are attracted to me without being a bad boy.

TheRiverOfDyx · 2022-01-17T23:23:49+00:00

You see those girls proclaiming to themselves “I’m such a baddie”

Do that. BE a baddie, bro, and you’ll get baddies.

sh1ftyswar · 2022-01-18T04:05:34+00:00

Bring a box of matches to play with when you go out

Riuqlav · 2022-01-18T04:14:05+00:00

There's a lot of "I"s in this post, how about you start extrospecting pay attention and listen, be curious of what is it other people's minds without much effort you'll be sent more wise and a good listener than just seen as nice

But if bad boy give is what you want to covey, tip is the rule of the avarage 5 people around you, maybe join in a motorcycle club, or a Brazilian BJJ gym, that will for sure develop your shadow.

Hvcktivis · 2022-01-18T04:51:03+00:00

Best advice from my experience: be urself, everyone rejects this advice tho “what if my true self is boring?”, that’s just u being insecure, be urself n stop caring what other ppl think. If they don’t like it they ain’t the right person. Find someone who likes u for who u are. If ur a loner, loser, worthless piece of human garbage then own it! Ever since I stopped caring girls started to like me, only thing is I’m so mentally fuck that idk what I want so I isolate myself… like I wanna fuck but don’t want relationship

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-01-18T10:13:06+00:00

Well it might depend on your style, I mean I'm kinda a player so I'd prefer to keep to girl confused will she get me or not but if you're like more a nice guy who shows more direct intent ok it's giving your power away but it's still fine if you wanna like a relationship. Whatever your style is it's the best when it comes out naturally, it's kinda a subconsciouss thing for me so it's a bit hard to describe but if you look up to Toddv dating flirting/teasing he made some usefull stuff for this topic also he explains it well. I also learnt from him. I wouldn't say I'm crushing with girls but at least I'm not a Virgin anymore

TheGnosionaut · 2022-01-18T17:46:03+00:00

You answered your question without realizing.... too much comfort, not enough attraction.

Read mystery method... it has nothing to do with confidence. It's an art not a state of mind.

Simply put, you're unaware how seduction works. Otherwise, you will not struggle this much escalating.

What you need is more knowledge, not self-criticism.

Can't read? https://youtu.be/w8E-lmub6R8

Here's all you need to know. All others are copycats who rely on the fundamentals laid out by mystery. Period.

AXLE_BLACKWELL · 2022-01-24T20:56:08+00:00

Word to your mother!!

Title	My current problem seems to be not having that much of the ‘bad boy’ vibe going for me
Author	150420throwaway
Upvotes	71
Comments	66
Date	January 17, 2022 5:05 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s68vu1/my_current_problem_seems_to_be_not_having_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-current-problem-seems-to-be-not-having-that.1268846 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268846

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