"Just get off the apps and go out and meet people bro"

xSathya · 2021-12-17T05:13:58+00:00

I feel you. I hate clubbing, but that seems like the most common way to meet girls in your 20’s. Honestly, if you don’t genuinely enjoy that kind of scene, there’s no point in going. Girls are only going to be attracted to the guys who naturally look like they’re having a good time. I’d just go to places that you actually enjoy being at - chill at a park, go to a museum, a library, whatever it is…there will likely be girls there. Just show curiosity and interest in people wherever you go and you’ll be fine

theseoulplayer · 2021-12-17T07:38:21+00:00

You don't need to make an event of going out to meet girls, in fact, I'd avoid that altogether. That puts pressure on you, your friends, and the night to 'deliver' something particular. Instead, work on improving your social skills (if they're not up to par) so that you can simply approach women wherever you go and whatever you're doing. You mentioned swiping in the park? What a perfect place to meet women! Working out? Same. Waiting for a friend? Same.

You should get in the habit of approaching and meeting women wherever you go. It's like real life Tinder, but without the bots and scammers. Way better.

I realize that this advice can seem like I'm saying go from A to Z without explaining the middle part, but it's really only one thing - getting past your approach anxiety.

I'm willing to bet that you're more comfortable meeting women on apps than in person, not because you have to go to X place or do Y thing, but because you don't have to approach them and don't risk getting rejected. It's okay, that's totally normal and natural. We all go through that.

There are countless strategies to deal with AA, like the 3 second rule, punishing yourself for skipping an approach, and many others. What I personally like to do is reframe it as Approach Excitement.

You know that feeling you get when you look at a hot girl, that thing like butterflies in your stomach? Is that nervousness? Or is it excitement? They both feel the same, so it's actually your choice how you interpret the feeling. I choose to frame it as approach excitement. It's like my ancestors are striking me with a bolt of lightning, telling me this is prime material for reproduction and I must shoot my shot. This small mindset change has had a huge impact on improving my AA and that of my students.

Once you get past the AA, all that's left is to improve your conversation skills. While this will come with practice, there are a few hacks to use to help make it easier. One of the things you can do to take pressure off is to talk to her as if she's an old lady and you're stuck sitting next to her on a plane. Just start chatting about whatever's on your mind, where you're going, what you're planning later in the day, and have a simple neighborly conversation. While this isn't gonna drop panties immediately, what it will do is help you get more used to making conversation and it will almost certainly open up opportunities during that conversation for you to make things more intimate or sexual. And who knows, maybe the two of you will just click with regular conversation and you'll be able to ask her on a date completely naturally.

This might sound like a lot of work, but as I can tell you from personal experience and many others here in this sub can too, both the quantity and quality of women you meet in real life blow dating apps out of the water. On top of that, if you were actually getting the results you wanted from the apps, you likely wouldn't be posting this here, so... What have you got to lose? Give this style a try, you can still poop-swipe, but I think you'll surprise yourself with how much better you do in real life.

MidnightNinja627 · 2021-12-17T08:00:06+00:00

I mean, that’s one perspective.

Your post seems to be trying to prove the point that nightlife doesn’t get results by the sound of it? Would I be correct to say this? Or is it more of you don’t enjoy nightlife because it’s expensive?

It’s definitely an investment to be buying drinks and Ubering around. On paper, it’s “free” to swipe through apps, yes. But results are so much easier in person. If a woman is attracted and you approach at the right time in public, your chances of successfully making a positive impact/ impression are much higher than the mountain of likes she has to sift through on apps.

Learn to be conscious about the way you approach night game and it’ll be more enjoyable for you.

At the end of the day though, whatever works for you.

I will say that you should avoid making excuses though. I sense some frustration here.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-12-17T05:39:38+00:00

I'm 40 years old, so I don't do "day game". That is to say I don't go out with the purpose of hitting on women. At 22 it's not weird, but at 40 it's creepy. Plus I got two kids at home and can't be spending my whole day chasing skirts. And you can forget about the club. I'm way too old for that scene.

When I do approach a woman, it's when I'm out doing my usual running of errands. I've had many dates this way, but I'm not with anyone I met that way right now.

I currently have three partners and I met them all on dating apps. Dating apps are great for people that don't have a lot of time to get outside and have too many responsibilities to be going out to approach women. It's also good for people with social anxiety who worry about rejection.

My advice is to do what makes you happy. If strangers on the internet don't approve of how you live your life, fuckem. Meet women however you want to meet women. You're under zero obligation to do what any stranger on the internet tells you, and that includes me.

IamRocksteady · 2021-12-17T08:32:22+00:00

You know what you should be doing, you even stated it yourself, yet here you are complaining and making excuses. Judging from your post, you don't actually want advice. You just want people to agree with your way of thinking and give a free pass for you to remain in your comfort zone.

Anoctopusexisting · 2021-12-17T08:24:02+00:00

If I may be honest, though I completely understand your frustrations as I think many people in this current society feel like it’s challenging meeting people. The way you speak about and categorize women is quite degrading. I get the frustration towards dating apps and I’m not much of a night life person either.

Sometimes it feels a little hopeless. But having some respect for the other people and what you’re actually looking for might help. If you’re just looking for a hookup then I guess this doesn’t apply as much, but I perceived it as you looking for someone to date. For me at least, when I imagine myself trying to meet someone I would ideally like a real connection. Something meaningful with someone I might have a lot in common with or find to be very interesting. Yes I feel jaded too sometimes by how I’ve been treated, approached etc. But the way you speak about this leads me to believe that a sizeable part of the issue is you and your outlook. I’m not sure if what I’m trying to say is getting across well or not, but basically when I read how you spoke about women and just describing the situation in general, right off the bat it made me feel like you would not be someone I would want to be around.

But the parts I did like is you describing the fun things you could’ve done instead. Something I’ve been learning is that I really need to put in effort to diversify myself in terms of hobbies and finding my scene sort of speak and that doing that can help me (and you) meet other like minded people. Easier said than done, but for me at least getting out of my house is a good first step lol. One example I mean by this is using things you enjoy and trying to find activities you can do with it. Like if you like music maybe trying out a local coffee shop or bar that has live performers. Etc. But before that, I would suggest reevaluating some of these attitudes you have, because for me at least they were off putting. Best of luck (to both of us lol).

strfox666 · 2021-12-17T05:28:58+00:00

The only thing I have to say is that times like these demand knowing people this way. Not only because of technology but also the pandemic speeded that too. Of course finding someone to only fuck it’s fun and all but I always feel people underrate the power of these tools.

ItsYaBoiPaladinPedro · 2021-12-17T06:10:37+00:00

Idk what to tell you dude. If you just complain and make excuses there’s really not much else you can do. Just try to go have fun and enjoy your life.

Woujo · 2021-12-17T07:54:51+00:00

20’s and 30’s I met girls everywhere. Mall, club, walking around... different era tho. Way less hostility, toxicity etc. Didn’t have to worry about getting jailed for saying HI.

Now it’s... fuck I don’t really try 😂. I have a friend that I met off of tinder. But that app is full of scammers etc. Some games you can meet people.

Females are barriered up. I say “excuse me” and the response I get (if I get a response) is like wtf.

I used to do a exercise when I was remote system admining for a corporation. I’d force myself to go out and get stuff to eat. I’d communicate with people etc.

Realized my communication skills were fine/great even. Just majority of people are shit.

You could also try the gym, but be wary of that shit. It’s full of manipulative people. More so than usual. Maybe look into book clubs and other activities as well.

faithinstrangers92 · 2021-12-17T05:04:37+00:00

Do both

Morpheus987 · 2021-12-17T22:26:17+00:00

Hey dude. Here's my experience. I am in my early 30's and I live in a fairly big city in the USA. My inner circle is other guys who all are making 6 figures. Drive nice cars. Nice cribs. I noticed whenever we would go out and be around attractive women, they would always be on their phone swiping. I always thought it was odd. I realized most guys I went out with were just nervous about approaching (myself included!). So I dug deep. I developed my self-confidence. Started exercising. Joining clubs to meet new people. Now I'm at the point where I can just naturally start a conversation or make a woman laugh wherever I go. It doesn't feel laborious or like I'm on the clock. Honestly, it just simply becomes fun. And I gotta tell you, women respond much better to meeting a guy in person than over an app. And to my surprise, I was able to take plenty of women home and get some action. Even women who I thought were out of my league. It's all about your vibe, swag, confidence whatever you want to call it. I like to call it sauce. My sauce.

hshshshshsuhhggg · 2021-12-17T08:30:41+00:00

Walmart, McDonald’s, Starbucks… need I go on? Anywhere you go it’s a good place life is too short to be thinking too hard and making up excuses. Go out and do brother it’s just weird that’s all it’s not hard :)

Grappleheart · 2021-12-17T10:15:04+00:00

You act like the only way to meet people in real life is to go to the club. Like women are everywhere. They are at the grocery store, in museums, in libraries, at events. All you have to do is chat with them and build rapport. You don't need to go to the club. You can just talk to the women in your daily life. The women at work or in the gym etc.

TheJoeyJoeJoe · 2021-12-17T14:10:05+00:00

Heard of daygame, bro?

Chad_Thundermember · 2021-12-17T06:22:20+00:00

Look...

Apps and dating websites were meant for ultra wealthy men looking for gorgeous women and vice versa. Anything outside of that category within online apps are weirdos. Going to social gatherings, coffee shops, and the night life are pretty much where the rest of normal people make friends. Personally, me, it's the gym. I've never been intimidated by any man or hot woman in any gym because I'm the hotshot powerlifter that people ask advice from. For most beautiful women, they are the same way in parties. For music fans it'll be the concert venues. My mom for example carries herself very well among her co-workers in parties because her co-workers have tons of respect for her.

With Bumble, Tinder, or whatever the heck these young people invented, if you are not devilishly good-looking and don't have a good bank account, you'll only attract the bottom-tier girls. Maybe if you wanna do the world a service and give these ladies the attention they probably desperately need, then fine. It's your life.

Getting out of your house with your favorite outfit, a new haircut, and a smile on your face is far far more rewarding than stalking hotties on Facebook.

pokemonpokemonmario · 2021-12-17T05:34:26+00:00

Pay for the apps so you don't have to swipe and can just choose from who likes you. Alot less than $80 a week.

Woujo · 2021-12-17T14:24:42+00:00

First, you are just making excuses.

Second, you don't need to go out with friends. Go out by yourself.

Third, fun comes from within. A man with abundance can enjoy any situation .

Fourth, I can tell you have a shitty, negative, judgmental attitude. Your whole post is about how shitty everybody and everything is, and I am guessing you are probably a miserable nightmare to be around. Every word of your post is pure negativity, and women want the opposite. Women want positivity, lightheardedness, and fun.

My advice is that you need a complete attitude shift if you want to succeed with women.

MentalCelOmega · 2021-12-17T18:39:59+00:00

Here's my advice. STOP DATING! Dating is pointless for men if you are sub 8. Especially with how toxic females have become.

Agitated_Character41 · 2021-12-17T14:04:15+00:00

Women aren't just in nightclubs.

maplemario · 2021-12-17T14:03:16+00:00

Why the fuck are you wary of someone who will go home with you? That’s the most insane excuse I’ve ever heard about night game. Sounds like you’ve just psyched yourself out of night game at every level. Either get over it or stop complaining. You remind me of myself when I was an elitist prick about people and women with the way you talk.

Adventurous_Card_144 · 2021-12-17T08:49:40+00:00

Just accept it then? Like literally what you are describing is you are lazy and like being lazy.

It is fine as long as you are ok with it. Don't complain, move on. Pickup at a high level is not for everyone and that's fine.

HammertonMili · 2021-12-17T14:05:56+00:00

Magic happens everywhere bro, not just in clubs or parties. We’re humans, after all, we’re visual, so the best places to pick up game is really nowhere but out there

Hegemon1984 · 2021-12-17T19:18:24+00:00

It's easy. You don't have positive reference experiences.

I used to hate clubbing, bars and night game in general. But my buddy is the exact opposite. I'm the day game guy, he's the night game guy. So we do both equally. Once I started getting more attention, easier attraction, and overall just upping my skillset at night, I began to slowly but surely prefer it over the day.

All you need is one or two positive reference experiences (ie. you make out with a girl, you make a connection with someone, whatever), you'll start gravitating toward it.

777Vibe · 2021-12-18T00:33:40+00:00

bro listen, when i was on these garbage apps i got literally ZERO women irl and like 10-15 that “liked” me in the app, this app is COMPLETELY not worth it and once i deleted it, my confidence EXUDED and now women irl are very easy to talk to and even get their phone number, get a hobby and find people through it or try and make friends with partygoers and get invites, tinder and whatever garbage app is literally not even for dating anymore, it’s for arrogant narcissistic assholes to flaunt their attractive features and feel good about themselves

Redbroomstick · 2021-12-18T03:41:34+00:00

Make more money and get a pad by nightlife. Best decision I made was buying a pad downtown Vancouver. It's night and day difference from commuting from thr burbs.

You can roll out at 11pm and be in bed by 2AM (or earlier if you pull earlier in thr night).

nCRedditor-21 · 2021-12-18T03:43:04+00:00

Tell this louder to the women who think it’s easier for men to approach them in real life. If you’re not in the Top 10% of attractiveness, it isn’t even remotely possible anymore. Women in my city are rarely approachable in social situations - if they’re at a bar with their friends, their response is “I’m not here to entertain men, I’m here to enjoy a night out with my friends”. Everyday situations like grocery store, gym and public transit are no-go’s. The question then becomes, how and where do men even approach women, and win in a game that’s thoroughly rigged against them from the inside-out?

fvckCrosshairs · 2021-12-19T05:09:41+00:00

You're just shedding negative light on the night life, which is fine because you simply don't like it. I enjoy it and view it as fun, we always do crazy shit when going out and it leaves us with crazy memories. Any activity can be written in such way that will make people hate it.

Meet girls where you do enjoy going...hobby, day to day stuff, etc

Title	"Just get off the apps and go out and meet people bro"
Author	faithinstrangers92
Upvotes	155
Comments	84
Date	December 17, 2021 4:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ri9htz/just_get_off_the_apps_and_go_out_and_meet_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-get-off-the-apps-and-go-out-and-meet-people.1270682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270682

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