How do you avoid the 'friendzone' when playing the long game?

Independent_Ad7002 · 2021-09-01T05:31:35+00:00

I hope this message cuts through the noise for you..let it go.

The most fulfilling relationships come from not chasing.

Hit the gym. Stack more bread. Read better books. Talk to more people. Hit on more women.

Be kind and maybe just be friendly with her. You don’t have to completely vanish. She MIGHT come around. Sure.. I’ll give you that. Focus on better shit while she’s away.

GordonGecko69 · 2021-09-01T03:33:34+00:00

Dafuq is long game? You are lying to yourself brotha. Stop wasting your time trying to steal a chick from her man. Move on to someone who is interested. If she’s interested, she’ll come around.

lil_investor8 · 2021-09-01T04:31:36+00:00

You already lost if you're thinking long game

highjinx411 · 2021-09-01T05:20:31+00:00

Long game lol. Just moved on or Come back later when she's single or befriend her with no intentions of hooking up and not being hurt by that. Like a real friend. Those are your options. What you think is going to happen will not.

chriipping · 2021-09-01T06:25:15+00:00

I don't know why your trying to go for someone who is unavailable... Did Earth run out of women again?

Luminary9 · 2021-09-01T00:58:12+00:00

By limiting contact... And when face to face.. Making sure to always use kino and light flirt

Ordinary_Shake6050 · 2021-09-01T02:49:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DakiAge · 2021-09-01T07:02:37+00:00

By not chasing the girls and not playing that "long game".

I directly get to the point so I never get friendzoned by girls.

Ok_Influence_5342 · 2021-09-01T09:24:53+00:00

Long game? dude stop deluding yourself unless you want to be her emotional tampon for 6 months while another dude is banging her. Forget her.

VDKay · 2021-09-01T08:50:25+00:00

There is no "long game". Either she is available or not.

You can try to "fish out" some information about what she thinks of you (e.g., if she was single, would she accept if you invited her out for a drink?). If she is generally positive, tell her that you also like her (as a woman) but you understand and respect that she is not available. Tell her that, if in the future, your paths cross again and you happen to both be single at the time, you promise to give it a shot. Then go ahead and continue with your life.

DON'T keep her around as a friend

Lucazzz14 · 2021-09-01T07:28:17+00:00

By not playing the long game. You're bullshitting yourself man, even you know it yourself by saying she not available.

Just keep it amicable with her but focus on other people. She may come around, she probably won't but at least you won't screen potential dates out because "you never know with that girl who is unavailable at the moment".

delusionalubermensch · 2021-09-01T02:28:55+00:00

Just tell her you don’t want to be friendzoned. Don’t waste your time or hers. Get things moving in the right direction.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-09-01T03:50:57+00:00

Why are you wasting energy on someone that you're not pursuing? Don't you have any options that are available? If not, you should be spending your energy creating some options. Let this girl think whatever she wants to think. You should be too busy to care.

atomant88 · 2021-09-01T04:41:01+00:00

Dont play that game

LONEWOLFF150 · 2021-09-01T13:56:47+00:00

Life is too short to be playing the "long game" bro. I've known guys stuck on the same girl for YEARS stuck in the friendzone and they honestly are just kinda sad. The whole Jim and Pam love story is 1 in 1000 and will never happen in IRL.

Everytime I've even felt a whiff that a girl just isn't even interested I just tap out and leave. Simple as that. You can only invest so much into someone and once you break that "hey I'm interested in you barrier" it's win or lose and most of the time it's just lose. It can get super toxic too to the point that you're basically already doing the provider and friend part of a boyfriend with non of the affection care and attention or sex benefits worst of all you're doing it willingly and trust me when I say some women def FEED off of that BS. Call it quits and stop chasing, even if she does chase you right back just stay away. Sometimes the friendzone is more toxic than an authentic friendship and if it does turn into a relationship that toxicity won't just go away because you already set the bar too low.

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-09-01T01:14:38+00:00

Sometimes friendzone is unavoidable, now all your actions and words need to comunicate that you're not looking to be her friend and you never will, avoid what a friend would do, texting every day, helping with tasks, being too available, etc when you get together you should escalate things and if she say that you're her friend or something like that, you need to draw the line and tell her that you have enough friends and you don't need one more.

j_tothemoon · 2021-09-01T08:31:47+00:00

Don't even talk about it with, just keep moving. If she is not available, there is a reason for it (relationship, not being emotionally available).

To avoid the friendzone, you really have to step out and don't be "needy".

SeaBreezy209 · 2021-09-01T08:57:57+00:00

Hard to give advice when you haven’t mentioned why she is unavailable. If she’s unavailable because “she’s finding herself” that generally just means she don’t like you enough to have interest in ya.

If she’s with someone ... then you fucking up by hoping their relationship is gonna end.

Either way, just gotta tell her you’re not interested in being just friends if you guys are close ... and if you’re not close, just move on. Maybe one day you guys see each other again and she’s single.

It’s never good to be “waiting” around. The amount of relationships that start off that way are slim to none. You focus on yourself, and women will start to notice.

Taro8383 · 2021-09-01T12:37:15+00:00

You don't.

Long game is a waste of time, there is literally hundreds of better choices available.

yorefather · 2021-09-01T09:00:29+00:00

fuck bitches, get money

simbuah · 2021-09-01T09:41:54+00:00

If its not due to logistics, there is no long game

Keezymac34 · 2021-09-01T12:04:29+00:00

There are to many hoes out there to get stuck on one girl. Women are not finite.

TLu_03 · 2021-09-01T15:10:14+00:00

You don’t play the long game. You are either a friend with zero romantic expectations (for your good and theirs), or you make your intentions known EARLY and live with the outcome.

Gaydame · 2021-09-01T22:19:17+00:00

You express your sexual interest.

Momo_dollar · 2021-09-01T22:32:12+00:00

If a girl is attracted to you… the longer you wait the more likely she will move on.

It will start like this she’s attracted to you so, depending on the girl, and excluding girls who initiate or make it impossible not to escalate… 1) She will give you time and attention, either in person or through text/calls usually both. She will also throw in hints and give you the opportunity to offer to do something or go somewhere 2) More obvious type of girl she will invite you over, usually with plausibly deniability eg “ohh that movie you wanted to watch is on at x time come round ” etc etc both if you don’t escalate the first to arranging a date, the second type physically both will very quickly within weeks or 2 months (depending of how often you talk / see each other) move on and no longer view you as attractive, at best they might view you as a backup option if things with the person they’ve got with goes sour.

Speaking from experience. Both ladies I didn’t want to have any sexual relationship with primarily for professional reasons and one 1 also didn’t really find attractive. But things I noticed about them.

burncushlikewood · 2021-09-01T06:16:14+00:00

You need to build attraction, if she finds you attractive she won't see you as a friend

LysergicLegend · 2021-09-01T12:50:18+00:00

I hate this question

Sweet-Palpitation473 · 2021-09-01T02:06:51+00:00

Idk man either the two of you feel a spark or not. If only one of you does then...

Thoughts274 · 2021-09-01T04:07:19+00:00

Up to the girl rather or not she friendzones you.

i_am_13th_panic · 2021-09-01T11:42:25+00:00

Don't play the "long game". Maybe it's the cynic in me but if you're spending so much time and effort that it's now a "long game", you're wasting your time.

I take it you've known this person for a while. Just talk to them about it.

brianallen1 · 2021-09-01T13:22:57+00:00

I honestly don't know WHY you're "avoiding" the friendzone when YOU should be FRIENDZONING GIRLS to build passive attraction / preselection. That's the game.

Woujo · 2021-09-01T13:49:27+00:00

You need to show some sexual/romantic interest. You don't need to say anything direct or crass, but you need to make it clear that you do not just want to be a friend.

vinylpush · 2021-09-01T14:37:01+00:00

While I agree with other guys here saying don’t wait on any girl, I don’t agree with their “if you’re thinking long game you already lost” frame. It often happens that you meet somebody and they travel somewhere, go on vacation, etc, so there is actually no chance of meeting up right now. You can stay in touch and be on her radar without being needy, just don’t text her all the time. And when you do, make sure to make your convo man to woman and flirty so she knows you see her as a potential mate material. Don’t talk about weather and shit.

But that’s only if she has a legit reason she can’t meet you soon. If she tells you she’s busy, tired, etc, move on.

2021-09-01T15:58:57+00:00

There is no such thing as the long game. You're just avoiding something, and not moving on.

Kobe_curry24 · 2021-09-01T17:39:38+00:00

There’s no long game don’t be fooled women are sexual individuals ,sexual by spirit and mind you have create desire from the beginning if your not doing this and create to much comfort it’s over

wwmelww · 2021-09-01T18:13:20+00:00

Don’t be overly nice. Remain kinda mysterious as in maybe keep your background a secret (this should be standard until you talk more). But also don’t alter your personality too much because you still want to be you.

That’s just to answer the question but everyone else does have a point. Focus on you. When you do become you beat self, just don’t be a dickhead about it and stay humble.

popedaddyfiction · 2021-09-01T18:37:20+00:00

You put them in the friendzone, simple.

Legitimate-Lies · 2021-09-01T19:52:54+00:00

Disappear and talk to other girls. There’s no long game

DubDeuceInThisBih · 2021-09-01T20:10:59+00:00

ain't no long game.

generaltso81 · 2021-09-01T21:18:37+00:00

My long game consists of completely moving on. At some point they'll chase or not.

berttbeans996 · 2021-09-02T00:03:23+00:00

Uhm never play the long game. Ask a woman out on a date if you’d like to date her

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-09-02T00:28:31+00:00

She’s not available for ya? Text someone who is

Thats how u avoid being in the friendzone

rordog28 · 2021-09-02T03:02:04+00:00

Gyms are rich , kitchen? Platonic ovalalation?

rordog28 · 2021-09-02T03:03:13+00:00

Buy my book

Heidi_R_Hill · 2021-09-02T04:58:52+00:00

If a girl (or anyone) doesnt like you, theres no way you can 'alter your game' to make them like you. However, if you want to rephrase that like "how do I not miss my chance IF I have one, just be straightforward with them! If you try to play a long game, you arent going to make a long term relationship. Playing coy will just make people move on. Instead be straightforward of your intentions, and see what they say. If they're straightforward too they like you. (Also this isnt to say you should go fast. Just dont play mind games. No one will stick when you do that)

Title	How do you avoid the 'friendzone' when playing the long game?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	92
Comments	71
Date	September 1, 2021 12:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pfixuc/how_do_you_avoid_the_friendzone_when_playing_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-avoid-the-friendzone-when-playing-the.1277103 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277103

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