Co-worker taught me a lesson, time for a new approach

TheCuriousDude · 2013-11-21T13:00:19+00:00

Lol, I'm glad you took it that way. A lot of other dudes would interpret that as a douchey move from your co-worker (not that he has any obligation to not hit on girls that you like).

bl1y · 2013-11-21T12:48:41+00:00

Just to add a bit of clarity, the intention you make clear should not be "I will go out with you/have sex with you if you'll have me." It should be "I find you attractive and am interested in learning if you'd be a good romantic/sexual partner for me."

FittersGuy · 2013-11-21T16:50:38+00:00

Here's a better lesson that you should have learned from that: Everything works sometimes.

Biggest problem with what your co-worker did: He didn't build anything at all with her. She has no reason to actually want to show up to a date with him now. (Again, it might happen, everything works sometimes.)

Best thing for you to do from now on? Combine both of your methods. Don't waste 30-40 minutes of her time, make her laugh once or twice, grab the number, and gtfo.

DANdruff4MEN · 2013-11-21T14:46:31+00:00

I would give it a high chance that this girl flakes on your co-worker as unless he came off as having really high value. Don't beat yourself up for it. Until this guy has stuck his P in her V, any celebration on his part is mental masturbation.

TheChosenOne570 · 2013-11-21T14:53:35+00:00

Something to keep in mind: You can get away with that if you are good looking. I've tried the whole "hey, give my your number" thing... and I've tried the whole make her laugh thing. Sadly, I'm an ugly dude. I ask a random girl for her number I ALWAYS get a no. If I am charming and making her laugh, I sometimes get a no. My buddy, on the other hand, has a much more pleasant face. We've sat at a table and had random girls approach him for his number. Your game is much different if you are good looking.

This is not to say you aren't attractive. If you are, do what your buddy did. Personality, at that point, can only be a deal breaker. If she finds you attractive, you are better off just letting your looks do the talking as long as you can (you don't want to turn her off by saying something lame). Be witty and funny, but remember you are sexy. In other situations (when you aren't particularly aesthetically pleasing), you are going to need to be funny and witty before you even have a chance.

Look at this as a way to evaluate your game, not as a reason to change your game. He got away with that because he's a good looking dude (don't start with the "confidence" bullshit, lack of confidence is a deal breaker but that doesn't mean confidence makes her swoon). Are you hot enough to get away with that approach?

birdwontquit · 2013-11-21T19:18:00+00:00

She will flake on him. Both of your approaches are two opposite extremes. The right one is in the middle.

DarthKitti · 2013-11-21T19:07:29+00:00

Dude plus it's way better if she rejects you 5 minutes in, instead of 40 minutes in. That a whole 35 minutes that you added to your life!

sedditdee · 2013-11-21T21:26:58+00:00

How many guys think that she's pretty, want to take her out sometime, and would like ever-so-politely to get her number?

Try actually using game to screen her while you have the girl in front of you. Don't wait for the first date to realize that you're wasting your time, or that she just had nothing better to do and hence she's a serial dater looking for food and entertainment.

Qualify the girl (meaning, sort her in or sort her out). You're focusing too much on whether or not she likes you. Has she given you a solid reason to like her? Work backwards from there, and give her a reason to like you first. The core question highlighted in bold still remains, and it's not really about simplicity at all.

The simplicity or complexity of your approach depends on how this particular girl responds to you, not to how "girls" in some abstract sense respond to you. Make your intention clear to yourself -- that you only allow women to spend time with you if they are worth your time.

You have to highly value your own time first in order to do that. Otherwise you'll put too much pressure on her, and most women really aren't that "awesome" aside from the make-up, push-up bra and pretty face (which required relatively little effort on her part).

Use game for a real purpose, not just as a set of tricks. Then you'll start to move beyond the "success/failure" or "winner/loser" mindset and actually be able to live your life using game as a valuable addition to your existence, rather than waste hours and hours gaming as a weird sidetrack from what really matters to you more than sex (and hopefully, you have at least interest in life that does matter to you more than sex. If not, find one and pursue it, starting as soon as you read the last period in this comment).

.

Whereyoursisterwent · 2013-11-21T14:23:35+00:00

Keep it simple and 50% of the time, it will work 100% of the time.

"Hi my name is _________, I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you."

donit · 2013-11-21T23:57:05+00:00

I'm going to print this lesson out and carry it with me as a reminder that whenever you see an opportunity to pick up a pretty girl, there's always going to be another guy who will come along who will be more than happy to take advantage of this opportunity to get the girl.

There was a girl who set up a free sampling stand outside my store, so I spoke to her for a good 30-40 minutes straight, asking questions about work, what she enjoys and honestly tried hard to make her laugh/impress her.

I go inside the store to tell my co-worker about the insanely cute girl outside, so he walks outside and barely lays his eyes on her when he says: "Look, i think you're pretty and I'd love to take you out sometime, can i get your number?" She gave it to him.

Lesson: You need to make your intentions clear from the start. Don't mistake having a conversation with a girl with seducing, declaring your intentions, and collecting the girl.

bokan · 2013-11-22T00:04:55+00:00

Good post man! I was honestly surprised to find out that being so direct was even a realistic possibility. Lots of folks are raised thinking it's bad manners/ too forward or some nonsense

FleshAndBone420 · 2013-11-22T00:53:55+00:00

I have had similar results with the ladies. Its all about honesty. They seem to appreciate a man who is foward and honest with them from the get go. No more playing stupid little mind games or manipulation just to get her into your bed. All it takes is someone who is chill, open, and honest.

This isnt to say that you should douche it up and be a bro. That's fuckin stupid and embarrassing to yourself, and other men around you, if you project the loud and obnoxious alpha male stereotype. Why do women fall for this? Cause they wrongly equate an overly extrovert behavior with high social status/money/power. I've had way more success with the strong and silent approach, talking to ladies when they are away from any social pressures. Its a lot easier to converse with someone one-on-one.

joshsway · 2013-11-21T15:04:59+00:00

Depends on the circumstance. This advice is often true but there are scenarios where it generally is NOT a good way to go (for example hired guns, or co-workers). Also remember to analyze technique logically and not just by random examples you may have seen work. There are other factors at play (for example, the guy could be much better looking than what she can normally get)

Reusable_Disposable · 2013-11-21T18:26:31+00:00

There may be other factors at play though, maybe you warmed her up.

Maybe it's a fake number.

In all likelihood he'll call her and she'll flake because in hindsight she barely spoke to him.

anonimo99 · 2013-11-21T15:39:43+00:00

Why do you talk to girls at all? Do you really care what they have to say? Of course not, plus the longer you talk, the more likely you are to say something that turns her off, like you hate cats and she thinks they're just so adorable. It could be anything. The less you say the better. If you MUST talk, just ask her questions and pretend to be interested in the answers.

I'd say your buddy could have done one better. A lot of girls will give out numbers with no intentions of getting together to get you to leave them alone. They'll either be phony numbers or they just won't respond. What he could have done better is to set a stage - "OK, you're really cute and I want to take you out. I'm free on Friday, I want to take you out to.... OK? What's your number?" It implies he's getting the number for a specific purpose and a date/time. Much more likely to get a response.

Still, he did better than you. STOP talking to chicks. Start GETTING chicks.

Title	Co-worker taught me a lesson, time for a new approach
Author	Shox187
Upvotes	249
Comments	56
Date	November 21, 2013 9:06 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r4nbz/coworker_taught_me_a_lesson_time_for_a_new/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/co-worker-taught-me-a-lesson-time-for-a-new.1306461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306461

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