Just an advice I want to give my fellow brothers: "Girls should not be your destination but should be part of the journey." If whatever you're doing is to try and get girls rethink your mindset.

Hardbarka · 2019-08-07T13:22:19+00:00

this is so true its almost stupid. after my break up 5 months ago, i started sleeping around again about a month after. i instantly got attached to my rebound, and we kept on doing our thing as fwb. i had no hobbies, no friends and did not go to school, so all my time went to this girl. i got too attached and it pushed her away.

the only reason i got her in the first place was that right after my break up i had this «i can do anything i want at any time my life is gonna be so full of adventures now»-mindset. that quickly went away, and she saw through me.

i started working out, reconnected with my friends, got a bunch of hobbies, but the golden thing i got out of this on the seduction front was the power of saying «sorry, i cant tonight, im doing [insert fun thing], but some other time maybe».

narakap · 2019-08-07T15:33:14+00:00

I understand but at the same time I do not understand.

You mean that If I keep going to the gym, keep working on myself and improving myself girls will just come themselves ?

I mean I love being at home and working on my computer, how keeping doing that will help me ? This advice is just for people who have a seemingly form of social life and it is not my case. I can't just sit there and wait for something to drop from the sky, can I ?

Or maybe I still don't understand your point.

People are saying, don't do anything and it will eventually happens. Does it mean that a girl will come and talk to me herself ? That just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm really working on myself and I try to understand as much as I can and it just doesn't seem logic to me. If I keep living the way I do, while reading books, working out, trying to build myself around what I like, I feel like I'll be alone forever.

prallhans · 2019-08-07T14:51:16+00:00

I think you kinda need to make picking up girls and beeing good at it a priority in order to be able to make them part of your journey. So there is no real wrong. When you become good at it you should sooner or later start your journey to becoming who you always wanted to be rather than spending all your spare time on women. Anyways it's a great trip and worth all the times you fall.

Goldenpanda18 · 2019-08-07T13:41:54+00:00

Yeah but living a life without sex and intimacy is fucking boring and unhealthy and unfulfilling. If I don’t make it my purpose to get better at getting girls, it’s never going to happen for me, girls don’t approach guys. Sad thing is, the harder I try to get better at this, the longer I go without sex and the more bitter and depressed I become.

Lord_Augastus · 2019-08-07T14:58:31+00:00

Basically, this sub is reminding people to have a life. Good lives attract, you love your life and do things in it and you will talk and meet people in it. Chasing girls, is shooting darts in the dark, hitting right targets mens being in the right places.

CitizensUnTied · 2019-08-07T15:00:22+00:00

...and remember. Women are not opposites of men. Men & women are COMPLIMENTARY! physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

SavagelyInnocuous · 2019-08-07T21:49:22+00:00

Pretty much every seduction post and everything PUA coaches say boils down to the same thing. Essentially, In order to get girls, you have to not want to get girls, then they'll come.
I think this is the big trap of the PUA industry. It's how the industry survives and keeps the money rolling in. It's an inherent contradiction, and as long as it keeps men blaming themselves for being too "needy" then they'll always feel like they're not doing good enough.

It introduces a new struggle into men's lives, having to hide and repress their "neediness" for women, adding many many steps of roundabout maneuvering to get what they want, while hiding that that's what they want. The best part is, anyone in the PUA community can use this as a smokescreen to hide the culpability of this as a toxic ideology, while further shaming the men who are struggling to get girls, saying it's they're own fault because women can "smell neediness" etc.

The reality of it is, most dudes interested in seduction probably have high sex drives(I know I for one am a horny fucker), and high social needs, and while the rest of the world of modern therapy and self-help teaches people to accept their needs, PUA teaches self-denialism, and furthermore, that you are trapped in a spiral of never getting your needs met because your needs are scaring off the women you want...

It's normal and healthy to seek sex and connection(disclaimer: of course there can be unhealthy types of dependency, which probably requires therapy) For me, girls are the main motivation for a lot of my self-improvement.

Being honest with yourself about what you want and why is much healthier than trying to repress it, and any negative impact this with have on your game with be mitigated by framing things in ways that don't creep girls out or make them uncomfortable. Actually no, some girls will be creeped out either way(probably a lot because of how fucked up social sexual mores are), and yeah, maybe you could have got that girl by acting aloof and hiding your real interest, but she won't be able to meet your needs long term, even if you do get her. She'll either want much less sex or connection that you do, or she'll have an unhealthy addiction to trying to get men who don't want them, which won't go well for you when she realizes you want her more than you let on.

It's better to be honest with what you want and let that be a filter to find healthy girls that have compatible or reciprocal desires.

sloanpal144 · 2019-08-07T15:37:08+00:00

I'm getting tired of this stupid quote.

gtrman571 · 2019-08-07T16:39:14+00:00

This is great overall advice but to say “rethink trying to get girls?” Yeah no. Regardless of how much we improve ourselves, most of us are still gonna have to keep approaching...

plaze6288 · 2019-08-07T16:59:52+00:00

Kinda hard when you would be happy just working and playing video games/ netflix. If i don't force myself out I'll never meet anyone

Akashk9 · 2019-08-08T01:07:58+00:00

I'm really confused over here.. u talk to them u ignore them? Can someone please clarify which is the the part where I just end myself? Is a hug too much to ask for right now?

hellowurld9 · 2019-08-07T18:47:34+00:00

sex is a need not a want u dont know shit

its in our nature to get girls

girls is more important than money

u greedy fuck

HectoSexual · 2019-08-07T17:56:57+00:00

This is utterly silly. Life is much, much more rewarding when you actually go for what you really want.

If you want pussy and you go for pussy, you’re going to be happy.

If you want spiritual growth and you go for it, you’re going to have a good time.

If you want to be a chef but go work at McDonald’s so that you can “one day” be a chef as a “side effect”, you’re going to have a bad time.

You goal should be your goal.

Stop pretending.

BitsAndBobs304 · 2019-08-07T14:58:13+00:00

Ah, yes : get a haircut for yourself, get muscles for yourself, get nice clothes for yourself.
Because the average person masturbates while looking at himself, dressed, in the mirror.
Come on...

2019-08-07T16:01:03+00:00

I wish had read this a months ago, thank you.

gemini88mill · 2019-08-07T22:10:38+00:00

This took me way too long to figure out

ThatFungi420 · 2019-08-08T00:32:34+00:00

Thank you.

stephtreyaxone · 2019-08-08T01:44:12+00:00

Great advice

DennyBenny · 2019-08-08T02:00:24+00:00

Combination of mental and physical connection is the foundation.

ToXiic_ViiZion23 · 2019-08-08T05:11:03+00:00

You can lose a lost of money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money!

uptimex · 2019-08-08T07:01:35+00:00

improve every aspect of yourself: Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual

Can I add one more aspect to improve to make it easier for other guys to understand your idea. "Image", yes guys, besides of all the listed, work on you image in society (let's say tribe). Because without image, even if you are a superhuman, noone will come to you. I guess OP just forgot to mention that.

loveopenly · 2019-08-08T08:53:38+00:00

If you go out and approach women every day for 30 days, you will get results with women. If you goal is to meet a woman, then that is a great practice. 100% focus on something you want is an excellent way to get results.

If your goal is to do something else, than that is your goal and meeting women may get in the way of that. There is no should. Just aim for what experience you want in life at that moment in time.

Don't listen to quotes online about what you should or should not do. Do what you want and put in the effort you want. More effort, more results. The formula for succeeding is surprisingly simple - but the action taking part not so much. Listening to other people is confusing and a distraction and reduces the amount of action we take. So yes digest what people say, but only follow the path that is in line with what you want, and the outcomes in life that you want.

Freevoulous · 2019-08-08T11:32:18+00:00

Definitely. The goal should be always to Level Up, not particular Quests themselves.

brabg · 2019-08-08T11:48:23+00:00

If you do not go to practice pick up everyday, this is bullshit.

No game = no women.

To get women you need to have experience seducing women. Without it, you are wasting your time.

Lindroos88 · 2019-08-14T06:48:19+00:00

It really depends where you at. Example in Miami the ladies are way different: https://hookuptravels.com/wiki/Miami#What_Kind_of_Guys_Have_the_Best_Chances

reginalnz · 2019-08-14T16:28:15+00:00

But isn’t the PUA community about getting women?

2019-08-07T16:19:09+00:00

Shiitt now i realise that I'm not thinking the right way, but how can u focus on other things in ur life if u feel very lonely??

jokffs · 2019-08-07T15:56:29+00:00

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