What is an attractive way to act with women who have rejected you, or you've tried unsuccessfully with?

nick_storm · 2019-08-23T10:30:14+00:00

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NextSpinach · 2019-08-23T09:47:38+00:00

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dodged_that_one · 2019-08-23T10:59:19+00:00

It shouldn't be about acting. Be friendly and great with everyone. Pay her less attention as a consequence of paying more attention to other people, not because you're upset with her and punishing her.

You should be able to enjoy her company and have fun even if she's turned you down - if you don't recognise that she's got more than one thing to offer then that might be part of your problem.

I know trying to impress people you're not actively pursuing is a pointless game.

Well, that's a load of crap. Don't try to impress people, simply be impressive. Work on yourself, not a façade. You should be friendly and awesome to everyone, not just people you're "actively pursuing". That's how you get a good group of friends, both male and female and have a fun life. There is the double-effect that you gain social capital that way, but it shouldn't be the goal.

NewRedditorHere · 2019-08-23T12:12:46+00:00

You don’t let it phase you. Why should it? The dynamic should not change. She doesn’t owe you anything.

I texted one of my girl friends the other day(I’m a guy) and told her that I like liked her. She said she was emotionally unavailable. I get that. But, our frequency and type of conversation has not changed. Why? Because I played it cool, and didn’t take it personally.

Cash_Crescendo · 2019-08-23T13:36:41+00:00

If she rejects me asking her out on a date / phone number my response is "Cool, take it as a complement".

or if chick says she has a boyfriend "I could't be the only fan"

NextSpinach · 2019-08-24T03:28:42+00:00

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BonvivantNamedDom · 2019-08-23T15:42:00+00:00

Break up contact and live on. No need to "keep friends". That only keeps you close enough to still want something from her but too far away from gettin some.

caesarfecit · 2019-08-23T20:25:01+00:00

My secret to dealing with rejection is I say to myself "how was this a blessing in disguise?"

Because the truth is, there are many worse things than a mere rejection. Being strung along, her being crazy, ugly drama, mutual incompatibility - the list is endless.

Here's some other tips I've learned the hard way.

Recognize one-itis early and learn to shut that shit down fast.
Recognize the different kinds of rejection, but recognize that the ways to deal with each one converge. Some girls will reject you just to see how you react. Some give you a red light when they really meant yellow. Some are just too interested in someone else to go further. In every case, the solution is to take them at their word and not try anymore. Either they'll come back and give you signs at some future date (which definitely does happen) or they won't. Either way, it shouldn't matter.
If you're single, keep the women in your life moving in an open cycle. That way you don't get hung up on one. Take it a step further and go into monk from time to time just to make sure you're not dependent upon female attention and make progress on you.
Learn to experiment and take risks, while still being true to yourself. The rejections that sting are the ones where you could have made something happen but you pussied out or tried to be someone you're not. In a counterintuitive way, getting rejected when you put your best foot forward and don't hold back is easier to take, because then it means it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Don't fall for mixed messages. If a girl blows hot and cold or puts you on the back burner, you need to ration your shits to give very carefully. It's a sign that either she's horrible insecure or you've been undergaming. Mixed messages mean she wants things on her terms and she's setting up to use you.
Take a rejection gracefully and don't burn bridges. Never let them see you bleed. That's how you save face. Don't get butthurt. Don't try to get even. Don't try to fix it. Because it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Recognize that far more rejections happen because of things beyond your control, than because of mistakes you made. Both happen, but one is far more common, and far harder to recognize.
Distinguish between her rejecting an advance, and her rejecting you. A trick I like to use is the tell me three times rule. If she doesn't respond positively to three different attempts to polarize her into attraction, it's a safe bet something's off. Learn the art of the slow pullback if you're getting lots of nos.
Learn not to dodge rejection, but not seek it out either. It's better to take a rejection head on, rather than to try and avoid it by either supplicating or pre-emptively ghosting. But that doesn't mean you should seek out big rejections either. Pushing a girl to the point where she has to reach for her pepper spray or start getting nasty is needy and creepy.
Learn to detach from outcome. Flirting with girls is a skill and you learn through trial and error. If you're getting rejected, you're at least trying, practicing, gathering data from which you can improve. That's a helluva lot better than not trying. Something at least comes of trying.

--apocrypha-- · 2019-08-23T10:39:25+00:00

Just don't give a shit. It's simple. You should not be bothered by another's opinion or behavior around you, as long as you are not negative towards them. Be you and dont fall into the trap of unnecessary action when it's not required. Take a deep breath and be indifferent to any outcome.

NilacTheGrim · 2019-08-23T11:55:18+00:00

If you've failed why think too much about it? Focus on other women and move on mentally. The way to "act" flows naturally from there.

A girl in here posted good advice. Basically don't take her or the situation too seriously. Don't answer texts on time .. talk to other girls and get your mind fully focused on the next one.

I really believe if you do that, the way to act naturally flows from that.

jellyroll003 · 2019-08-23T14:05:22+00:00

Watch James bond in casino royale

natephant · 2019-08-23T16:49:26+00:00

Don’t be rude or callous towards them, but no longer ‘include’ them in your shit.

You’ll be able to get over it quicker, and they’ll be able to see that you’re a mature adult.

Bonus: this could actually spark them to gain more interest in you, because now they’re seeing that they are ‘missing out’ on your company and attention.

skalexch · 2019-08-23T16:56:53+00:00

I'm in the same situation mate. I asked a girl out, she studies in my university. She said she was involved but likes to be friends. I was fine with that. The thing is I really wanna be friends with her, like no friendzone crap I'll never do that again but honest casual stuff. She's really cool and interesting and likes a lot of stuff that I like and I wanna be friends with her and pursue other women but she mostly keeps to herself and is really intimidating and ever since I asked her out I just say hi awkwardly when I bump into her.

Dextorian · 2019-08-23T17:29:31+00:00

Move on and live your life! Most attractive thing any man can do

antoniofelicemunro · 2019-08-23T17:50:30+00:00

‘Alright’ then move tf on. Trying to look attractive when being rejected is the problem. If you want her to genuinely think you couldn’t care either way, genuinely don’t care.

ChocolateTuxedo · 2019-08-23T18:08:40+00:00

Take the rejection with pride cause you surpassed your fear. Not many people have what it takes. Your one of the bold. Dont get mad at her, let your attraction for her die in the gutter. You’ll earn self respect and maybe hers too. This is how i deal with it.

pukima_sial · 2019-08-23T11:44:59+00:00

Move on and meet other girls

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-08-23T14:37:55+00:00

Honestly. This happened to me SO. MANY. TIMES. Only 1 friend from college handled it well and what he told me was

"I really appreciate you being kind to me when I opened up to you. I really value our friendship and promise never to do that again. If you ever develop feelings, let me know" Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out to go to class.

2019-08-23T12:45:26+00:00

What kond of women are you talking about... ? Because if they are women you just met (bar, at a venue, on the street, etc) and you interact with them to get their number and they reject you what's the point to keep going. Actually if you keep going it might get creepy. If they are women you will see frequently then act normal. You showed interest she did not reciprocate, life goes on as usual.

creamyturtle · 2019-08-23T13:47:55+00:00

ignore ignore ignore and act aloof af. dont let her put u in the friend zone

MrMemper · 2019-08-23T14:01:03+00:00

Number 3 but it only works if you truly dgaf

bdubbs09 · 2019-08-23T15:43:22+00:00

I usually make a joke out of it. "Does he know you talk to cute guys at ______ during your free time?" etc. You have to say it with a smile and a laugh though. Also at that point, I lower my expectations and shrug it off and mentally move on.

TheTempService · 2019-08-23T16:09:31+00:00

U dont.

Soy_Mono · 2019-08-23T16:20:39+00:00

From what I have experienced, the best thing to do is to play it cool. You asked and she has got the right to say no, and she did say no. What you do now? Don't act like it's unexpected, you win some and you lose some. So play it cool and act like it's just normal (because it's normal anyway). Say thank you for their answer and move on. It's just how life works anyway. You'll get NOs at some points of your life, you just need to know how to handle a rejection.

PapiLion81 · 2019-08-23T16:28:33+00:00

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2019-08-23T18:08:39+00:00

Once they have put you in the friend zone, it’s done. Use that bitter energy to get pissed off at yourself. Get yourself into the gym and start hitting the weights. Start doing some cardio. Clean up your diet. Transform yourself. Get your confidence up. Believe in yourself. Forget about these bitches who rejected you. There are so many others. Women are like buses, you miss one, another one will be along later. I want you to go to YouTube and do a search on: Leykis 101 rules. This will change your life. No thanks are necessary.

“If I see her anywhere, I’ll just pretend that I don’t care. Cause after night, there is a dawn, and life goes on, and so will I.” - Johnny Cash

TabooJuice · 2019-08-23T18:48:56+00:00

Not beating them up for rejecting you is pretty attractive

Todddixon420 · 2019-08-23T19:30:53+00:00

Totally ignoring them is the best thing you can do. And to her, the most attractive.

If you tell them they can't be in your club, they'll do anything to get in.

whatsappbiz · 2019-08-23T20:42:33+00:00

I know someone that got together with his gf (of now 10yrs+) because after she originally rejected him he started dating some other girl..and then when his now gf found out, SHE seduced him lol

2019-08-23T21:14:34+00:00

A number of women are at the gym who ive asked out. Just stand tall. If yall make eye contact, grin and nod, and even ask hows it goin? Have a smooth swagger figured out in your walk too, so you dont look awkward.

PapiLion81 · 2019-08-23T21:47:49+00:00

How would James Bond handle a rejection? Would he get all butthurt? Or would he play it off like nothing because he knows there are always other women out there who will want him? That's what you have to ask. There are very few James Bond's in this world....but there are many needy, whiny, man-children who take rejection so personally.

- Accept it with understanding and with a look in your eye that says your positive mood has not changed 1%

wowzacowza · 2019-08-23T22:13:52+00:00

The way I look at rejection is like this: think of your life as a line moving across a piece of paper. When you ask a girl out, that point on the line has 3 branches off it: she says yes and that changes your life, she says no and that changes your life, or it doesn't matter what she says you keep on living the same life either way. Don't allow other people's decisions to run your life. So if a girl rejects you, you should move on with your life totally unaffected. If you want to keep pursuing her because you think you still have a shot, then go for it. But do it because you enjoy it, not because you think you have some obligation to get her to say yes.

2019-08-23T22:18:28+00:00

From my experience what I can say is just act normal in front of her like it is no big issue and at the same time try reducing conversation via chat (fb, viber, etc). Make her feel what she is missing but don't be too obvious at the same time. Curiosity will bring her back to you and look for the right moment to finally confess everything.

It worked for me. May or may not work in your case.

Meteora_Sage · 2019-08-24T00:22:53+00:00

Don't chase, replace.

Why try to fix a situation when you can meet a new girl and start fresh?

I_Love_Every_Woman · 2019-08-23T16:40:45+00:00

push and pull.

Ptolemy222 · 2019-08-23T17:13:50+00:00

"No wait... I'm rich"

Just assume she's shallow and she's looking for a man with money.

or

"What did I do wrong?"

Make it a joke.

taa_dow · 2019-08-23T20:38:17+00:00

"Fuck you whore." And keep walking.

Title	What is an attractive way to act with women who have rejected you, or you've tried unsuccessfully with?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	286
Comments	77
Date	August 23, 2019 9:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cubcvm/what_is_an_attractive_way_to_act_with_women_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-an-attractive-way-to-act-with-women-who.1476749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1476749

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