Do you need to have seen a man's flirty/sexual side before you can want him?

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-17T22:55:09+00:00

Nope. Out of my 3 crushes, one showed me zero flirting (and he rejected me so it was pretty expected), one was at least somewhat playful and my husband was just friendly at first and then got flirty, when we already had a bit of connection.

spaffjizz · 2024-04-17T22:59:20+00:00

I have developed crushes with men who haven't flirted with me. I fantasise about them flirting with me in my head.

If I get to know them and that never happens, or if I decide I don't like him - the crush and sexual fantay just dwindles.

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-04-17T23:05:06+00:00

Yes. I don’t have spontaneous desire/feelings and need that kick start: I’m probably not the right girl for shy guys.

Barneysparky · 2024-04-17T23:05:17+00:00

Great conversation makes me want a guy to flirt with me. Starting with flirting shuts me down.

When I've had a great conversation, and I wanted the guy to flirt, that when I express interest until the guy gets it.

ToughingItOut82 · 2024-04-17T23:45:34+00:00

Only if he’s not immediately physically attractive

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-18T06:00:48+00:00

I've never had a man flirt with me before I've been into him. They do sexy things like exist in my general vicinity and that's enough. I do need to be at least acquaintances to be attracted however.

AngeCruelle · 2024-04-17T23:22:54+00:00

No. Good thing too since my BF had no romantic experience and didn't really have those "sides" in any meaningful sense before we started dating. He learned on the fly.

A good conversation about deeper thoughts and/or shared interests is all it takes for me to go from recognizing an attractive guy to wanting to bang this attractive guy in particular as opposed to the many others that exist.

operation-spot · 2024-04-18T16:16:10+00:00

I’ve definitely had crushes on men I’ve never spoken to but I also wasn’t interested in tempting him or whatever. I don’t even know what sparked the interest but it wasn’t flirty banter.

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MistyMaisel · 2024-04-18T01:27:31+00:00

He pretty much has to flirt with me. And even then, as I've been over in another thread. I'm likely to think it's a dumb crush on my end and wait for it to dissipate.

Planthoe30 · 2024-04-18T05:37:09+00:00

There isn’t a one size fits all way to answer this. I can depend on her self esteem, attraction to you and personal values.

Women with self esteem issues tend to want the sexual aspect to develop earlier on because it feeds their ego and settles their insecurities (even if incorrectly) that he is out of her league. Confident women might be more intrigued by men who are more modest.

Me personally if he was forward about his sexual attraction or sexual desires then I just assumed that was what he was after and focused my attention elsewhere. I could have been erroneously making that assumption sometimes but I was too offended to get over it haha. I would sometimes hear through the grapevine of them gossiping about their attraction to me but I could never bring myself to be trustful of men who were hypersexual. Men who were more modest about their attraction, who put a lot of effort into being where I was and making conversation with me which made me feel valued (not attention that complimented my physical appearance) are who I typically fell for. Early sex or too much sexual tension can ruin an otherwise good relationship because it affects your perception of how you’re valued.

YourAverageRadish · 2024-04-18T11:18:20+00:00

I think it's pretty simple - if the man is attractive enough, he doesn't need to do anything special. If the man is NOT attractive enough, then he needs to attract her attention somehow, because he's most likely "invisible" at the moment. He needs to be charming and just a little bit flirty in the beginning.

kayceeplusplus · 2024-04-18T14:01:52+00:00

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2024-04-18T23:34:11+00:00

No. Not necessary for attraction. I prefer him to save it for when we are a committed couple.

Safinated · 2024-04-17T23:08:34+00:00

Defundisraelnow · 2024-04-18T00:24:27+00:00

Nope. In fact if I'm not already interested and he acts like that, I find it gross.

Title	Do you need to have seen a man's flirty/sexual side before you can want him?
Author	youarockandnothing
Upvotes	14
Comments	49
Date	April 17, 2024 10:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c6nqdl/do_you_need_to_have_seen_a_mans_flirtysexual_side/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-need-to-have-seen-a-mans-flirtysexual-side.1515492 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515492

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