What are examples of women caring for their husbands / bfs when it's not tied to the man's status or money?

LurdOfTheGraveyurd · 2024-04-23T16:32:34+00:00

How about how women are significantly less likely to leave a chronically or terminally ill partner than men?
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm

Leaving a partner who lost their job isn’t about status or power. I don’t understand redpillers’ obsession with social capital.
No, it’s because losing one’s job is a traumatic event and now the unit is suddenly not making as much money as before. Men often earn more than women, so the loss of a man’s job is more likely to have a greater impact on a couple’s finances. Money is a necessary resource for anyone’s survival and maintenance of lifestyle, so a sudden lack of it can put serious strain on any relationship and lead to its dissolution.
It’s less about gold-digging and more about stress.

Also evolutionary psychology is bullshit. There’s no precedent for your hypotheses because humans didn’t have jobs to lose in prehistory. Society wasn’t a thing, money probably wasn’t a thing, and communities functioned very differently than they do now.

SweelFor- · 2024-04-23T17:16:57+00:00

There are like 1 million examples of this every minute.

You are asking the wrong questions. You don't need "examples" of arbitrary situations that you've arbitrarily decided don't exist, you need to understand what is fundamentally wrong about the statement you are making.

You have a lot of unbrainwashing ahead of you.

Classic-Tomatillo-64 · 2024-04-23T16:21:42+00:00

I earn much more than my husband so I'm not with him for wealth and status. I listen to him speak about his many interests, from football to planes to watches, for hours because I know it makes him happy. We have the heating on at home more than I like as I know he likes to be toasty. I'll wrap him in a blanket for the same reason. I like to make sure that he has the things that he wants, be it slightly more expensive branded food than I would care about that costs a little more but he can tell the difference. I listen about his work and workmates though it may not be the most exciting thing to do. I laugh at his jokes and try not to get frustrated when he is incredibly loud and I need some quiet. I hope he sees how I try to show him love and care. There's a million and one small things we do for each other which are tiny in the grand scheme of things but that hopefully add up to making each other happy. It doesn't have to all be the hallmark film romance nonsense, sometimes it's just being with someone

Rad1Red · 2024-04-23T16:27:42+00:00

I'm the breadwinner in our marriage. We've been together for close to 30 years, married for almost 25. Two great daughters, now out of their teens.

I love him to bits, and not in a quiet, friendly way, in the I wanna do bad things to you kinda way. But he is worthy. He is kind and loyal and loving and respectful (well, I don't wanna list everything here, but I said a couple of things as pointers). He never even tried to play weird games with me and loves my intelligence and drive, unlike all others. He takes care of himself and is very focused on my pleasure. So the fact that he is not a traditional provider does not matter one bit. I have a brain and am not afraid to use it. :)

So there's an example for you.

MrKidClassic · 2024-04-23T16:33:16+00:00

About 2 years ago, I was in an odd job situation. The first place that was treating me like absolute shit and it literally took my wife saying "hey bro, you deserve better" before I got out after 8 years of trying to "thug it out" and "make it work". Bit of a square peg round hole situation.

Then I left that job to jump straight into another very toxic company that would fire me 9 months later. Lucky for me I was already taking interviews ro try and quit, but they beat me to the punch. And my ego was not ready to take that hit. Not at fucking all.

My good buddy depression set in, and I began to worry that my wife would begin to find me unattractive and undesirable due to my ever darkening mental state. I was the $100k+ bread winner who was about to run out of bread. She would have to keep us afloat and that, for some tribal reason, made me think I had failed her as a partner.

I won't go into detail but one morning while alone, I got into a very dark place mentally. Pitch black and numb for 24 hours. The next morning, we spoke I just blurted out "what is my worth if I can't bring anything in?"

She looked me dead in my shit and said "you mean so much more to our family than money or a pay check." She said a lot of other things too but I could tell from her eyes. My wife meant that shit lol. Especially since our "family" only consisted of a cat and a dog. No kids, yet she felt that I was worthy of that when I didn't.

It's like, as a man, I needed to hear my wife say that. Sounds like you do too.

Do you feel like the weight of your family is on you? Perhaps a friend or friends depend of you for every move?

That stress and perception can take a huge mental toll, my friend.

Women who want dudes for a paycheck are out there, yes. But there are WAY more women who are looking to create a team, and support their man, and start a family. And all they ask for in return is for you to be supportive of them. Which is actually a lot easier than the red pill dudes make it out to be.

Your job is to gain the skills to be able to discern between the two types of women.

I hope this helps man.

halfasianidiot · 2024-04-23T17:47:52+00:00

Could you just try making friends with women and try purposely viewing them as people who would treat you the way you would treat them?

xvszero · 2024-04-23T16:33:35+00:00

My wife is a professor and makes way more than me. I got sick last summer and had to quit work indefinitely. She has been taking care of us since then and tells me don't rush back to work until I'm ready.

oldcousingreg · 2024-04-23T17:33:02+00:00

The women in this subreddit.

Justwannaread3 · 2024-04-23T18:19:05+00:00

Probably hundreds of millions of women every day show genuine care and love for their partners in ways big or small.

I’ve picked up my SO’s favorite treats when I know he’s coming home from a stressful day at work.

I have made reservations or booked tickets or appointments because that is one small thing I can take off his plate.

I have taken his car in for repair even though I never use it because it was more convenient for me than him.

None of this has anything to do with his “status” — I do it because I care about him and love him.

watsonyrmind · 2024-04-23T22:39:52+00:00

How about the statistic,and%20home%20life%20remains%20unbalanced.) that nearly half of all marriages in America have spouses earning either equal wages or the wife earning more?

You need to stop basing your reality on social media and start living your life instead. Hearing this kind of stuff is laughable to anyone with a healthy social life. We all know all kinds of couples with all different dynamics. Time to detox.

creamerfam5 · 2024-04-23T17:10:50+00:00

I'm married to a man who is a SAHD. I care about him because he is my ride or die best friend and I want many fun years with him when I retire.

preehive · 2024-04-23T19:21:49+00:00

The statistics on women who care for their husbands after they are diagnosed with cancer versus the men in the same situation who are six times as likely to leave their wives.

meleyys · 2024-04-23T18:42:03+00:00

First, I want to say that while your way of thinking is toxic, it's good that you're seeking out counterexamples to challenge yourself.

I'm a woman. I've dated people whose social status ranged from "broke high school dropout" to "rich person with a stable job in tech." Income has never once factored into how much I cared about someone, nor has it affected how I treated them. In fact, looking back at my past relationships, I was more likely to break up with someone who had good career prospects than someone who lacked them. This is a coincidence, but it proves I don't stay with people for economic reasons alone.

My current boyfriend has a stable job and makes decent money, but he's far from rich. He's still the best partner I've ever had, and that wouldn't change even if he lost his job and all his money tomorrow. And while I personally don't have much money, I do come from a rich family, and I have a degree that will hopefully one day land me a high-paying job. So while he currently makes more money than me, chances are one day the situation will be reversed, and even if it isn't, my inheritance will make me richer than he is. I don't care at all.

In fact, I kind of hope one day he can be a house husband. I love taking care of people, and he's no exception. I do everything in my power to nurture and protect him, and I love that he lets me. I've been with someone who didn't want to be taken care of, and it was incredibly frustrating. I have a burning drive to care for others, especially my partner.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-04-23T23:17:05+00:00

This really feels like the wrong subreddit for this, because OP doesn't seem very interested in like, sane non redpill thinking about gender or relationships

Consistent_Spread_93 · 2024-04-23T19:24:51+00:00

I don't think it's that hard to find examples if you look in family circles on social circles. There a plenty of women that only care don't care much about status and money especially in their 20s when people are in college.

AngelNPrada · 2024-04-23T22:39:11+00:00

I'm currently taking care of my husband who has cancer. It has been over a year now. I love him

blaze420x · 2024-04-24T01:43:42+00:00

In other words, the red pill boards got boring because all everyone does is agree, and you’re looking for a new audience for your talking points.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-04-24T06:39:34+00:00

Get off that whole stupid concept of status in manosphere context. That's garbage that got recycled from old pickupartist nonsense, and always concluded that the guy who paid over $1000 for the pickupartist bootcamp is somehow the guy with high status. It's a scam.

Maleficent-Pen4654 · 2024-04-23T20:26:45+00:00

Here’s one that seems trivial but is less obvious than financial (we are equal partners), sickness (we always take care of one another when the other is unwell), etc…

My husband loves a bunch of nerdy stuff that I do not personally have any interest in. But I think his passion for all of it is really cute and endearing. He has a whole office that’s filled with comics, action figures, art, you name it. I listen when he goes on long rambles about his interests, I gift him art by his favorite creators, get him merch, and even know all the employees at the comic shop bc I go with him even though it’s an interest that I don’t share. Again, it’s no big thing because he does the same for my interests but it has nothing at all to do with “status” or money or social positioning. Just two people living each other.

TypicalProfit8475 · 2024-04-23T21:14:38+00:00

My partner earns twice what I do, met on a dating app.

pinkpugita · 2024-04-23T21:49:15+00:00

My uncle cheated on his wife and they separated. My uncle had no stable career and retired without savings. Yet his ex still sends him some kind of spousal support from her pension, decades after they broke up.

Independent-Pause638 · 2024-04-23T22:17:34+00:00

How about me, taking on the challenge of becoming a clean and organized woman, when I have been messy for most of my life because he said "I can't marry a messy woman"... (basically stepping up to the challenge of changing instead of leaving because leaving would be easier, but then I'd also lose out on the great man that he is).

If he were my son, I wouldn't want him to either...

Queen_Maxima · 2024-04-23T23:01:13+00:00

I met my guy in 2019(-ish?) through a mutual friend. He lost his job during the first year of the pandemic, and subsequently lost his house too. I had an extra room and i think you should always help a friend in need, and a friend of my friend is also my friend.

My guy is Italian, and i am not. I am not so much a fan of pasta either. But i am learning to cook Italian pasta because he left his home country to come here when he was just a very young adult, and he misses Italy and especially the food a lot. There is an Italian cook on YouTube who explains how to make Italian dishes the "right" way, and the food makes my guy so so so very happy, and i am happy when he is happy. I love how his eyes are just sparkling with joy and happiness.

Love is all about the small things :))

CimZim · 2024-04-24T01:00:15+00:00

I (39F) have never been married, nor do I have children. My lover (54M) is also never married and childfree. We don't live together, or have access to each other's finances. I make slightly more than him, and pay for all our dates. We've been together for almost 17 years. I have never received any status or money from him...he's an elementary school teacher.

When he's sick, I bring him food and medicine. We talk everyday, either in person or on the phone. I've answered his calls as early as 5am and as late as midnight, just so he can stay awake when driving long distances. I've been there for him when his parents died, and we were actually hanging out when he got the call of his uncle dying.

I've seen him cry and held him through it. I've seen him angry and let him vent his frustrations. I've seen him happy and laughed along with his jubilation. Even though I'm perfectly able to date/fuck other men, I've remained exclusive to him (and him to me), despite the 8 years in a row that his seasonal depression made it so his libido disappeared for 3 months each time. I watch his dogs when he has to travel, I pick him up at train stations and airports any time of the night, I buy him little gifts or candy every week.

He's my best friend and I treat him as such.

blaze420x · 2024-04-24T02:06:18+00:00

It’s really not that hard. That’s why a majority of the men in relationships across the planet don’t fit the stereotypical RP/BP narratives that say women only date muscled-up 6ft millionaires.

ExoticAd2840 · 2024-04-24T03:57:56+00:00

I make about 3x what my boyfriend makes. As women overtake men in attaining professional degrees you’ll find this becoming increasingly common.

Of the thousands of women I’ve met, only a small handful DON’T genuinely care about their partners. Most don’t care about your income.

When I was in college I went on a few dates with an engineering grad student who kept making unsubstantiated comments about me being “money-hungry.” It was cringy and insulting and so I ghosted him.

featherblackjack · 2024-04-24T10:12:35+00:00

Check the pinned post on the front page of this subreddit. There's a whole lot of good data there to get you started.

LingonberryGrouchy18 · 2024-04-23T22:12:24+00:00

I’m 26. Every single partner I have was purely dated out of love. My last relationship I was earning nearly triple he does. These things don’t matter but I notice for men they put a lot of pressure on themselves to earn a certain amount and have a certain respect/status?

My last bf as well seemed insecure about my earnings and about being used for money (idk how that even came to be) and then ended up on cheating. I’m not denying there is women out there who do care heavily about these things but from observation and experience most women simply do not care. As long as you’re a good dude and mature with integrity I think you’ll find you will attract wholesome relationships :)

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Midnightchickover · 2024-04-23T18:12:35+00:00

His failing health or stubbornness about not going to doctor and getting checkups

His deteriorating/unstable relationships with his family and/or friends, not related to her by blood. How he manages his relationships.

His pets

His hobbies or lack thereof

His conduct towards others, not just the opposite sex members he finds attractive.

The type of programs or shows that he watches on TV, internet, or movies.

Taking care of his personal needs, life, and health, again.

Dramatic-Mastodon-39 · 2024-04-23T18:19:39+00:00

Woman here, I would say a Woman who loves her husband/bf besides of what he can provide. She is unconditionally loyal in life, she will stand by you through everything unemployment, depression, poverty. She’d spot every time you are unhappy / sad and try to lift your mood, she’d be very affectionate/loving and will always want to be around you. This is the type of love I want to have for my husband. When I do get married hopefully haha!

floracalendula · 2024-04-23T18:54:25+00:00

About or for? These words have very different meanings in English.

Stargazer1919 · 2024-04-24T15:38:35+00:00

Examples from my own life: most couples I know, lol.

hostility_kitty · 2024-04-24T05:01:52+00:00

I was with my husband when he didn’t have a degree/job, wasn’t in school, and lived with his mom. I would still be with him if he lost his current job tomorrow. Character is what’s important to me and he is loyal, kind, patient, virtuous, and selfless.

I’ve been with plenty of guys who had a lot of $$$ and was not impressed by the discipline they lacked.

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