Why wasn't the relationship worth fighting for?

yourcarlosdanger · 2024-05-30T21:50:18+00:00

The relationship wasn't worth fighting for because:

Chad smiled at her.

Or her friend is getting divorced and wouldn't it be fun for them to both destroy their families together and post about on social media while all their other friends tell them how selfish and vicious, I mean stunning and brave they are?

Or she got bored.

Or she found out that her friend's husband makes more $ than you.

Or She got bored.

Or she woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Or everyone else husband bought her a boob job so she can chase Chad in the bars but you said no.

Or She got bored.

Or she got a raise at work and now she doesn't need you.

Or she talked so much shit about you that she would lose face if she stayed.

Or its just a whim.

Its definitely not because she gets paid to leave and she also gets revenge for when you hurt her feelings 8 years ago.

MoooderCommunists · 2024-05-29T06:51:54+00:00

Women are cunts. Always have been. Always will be. Not to be trusted.

theduckbilledplatypi · 2024-05-29T06:23:07+00:00

Eventually you just realize that you're fighting an unwinnable battle. You might as well be Don Quixote fighting a windmill or someone trying to stop the tides of the ocean. There comes a moment when you as a man realize that it doesn't matter what you do. At that point you have to realize that they've made their minds up and any effort you make won't change it. There's no point in fighting when the match is already over.

UTHook3m · 2024-05-28T21:56:34+00:00

I am currently dealing with a similar situation, there is nothing I can do to turn around the ship. Frankly, she has transformed into someone I I don’t know anymore. Everything I do is for my wife and kids. If you add up the hours, I spend more time with my kids than her. I pick up/drop off pretty much everyday. I make dinner every night, she might make dinner once every two months. I clean, do the laundry and put the kids to bed. Doesn’t matter, if I slack off even the slightest she makes it miserable. I wont even get into her spending habits, as its a dumpster fire of epic proportions. Yet I am the bad guy. I don’t want divorce, but deep down inside I know it will never improve. She is incapable of accepting responsibility for her actions.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-05-28T16:18:16+00:00

In today’s world, men are seen as disposable. Only men truly love without expecting anything in return, always remember that.

Meatros · 2024-05-28T13:42:17+00:00

My suspicion is that it has more to do with her than it does with you. Granted, I'm sure you played a part in it (I'm not saying that to be mean), but a person's threshold for what they can tolerate, accept, struggle through is not going to be the same as yours.

And that doesn't make her evil or bad or anything like that.

As hard as it is, you need to accept it.

NoLawfulness8554 · 2024-05-28T12:54:50+00:00

I've wondered the same for myself. What I notice is that her girlfriends started divorcing and made dating sound exciting. Trips, expensive dinners, sex. That's her influence now.

stupididiot78 · 2024-05-28T03:36:17+00:00

Because she is ungrateful and had bad taste.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-05-27T22:37:19+00:00

You're thinking of something she never thought about once. She wanted to have sex with other man, and made her internal reality line up with that. Unless you look at it from that angle, you'll never understand

berniefl44 · 2024-05-27T18:20:10+00:00

I hear you. Just laid there like a sack of potatoes on the bed. She wouldn’t even move. Then the blackmail, if you don’t go to Walgreens to get something that I need, no sex or no whatever. Then the bossiness, do that or do this on your day off or else…. Change your shorts , take a shower , change your shirt , change your socks , blah blah blah …lol

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-05-27T17:41:01+00:00

I'm glad she felt that way I was so DONE, aside from the actual divorce process and expense and stress from that, my life is 1000 times better, I'm so glad she filed, I was so miserable with her. Nothing was ever good enough, once she got something she'd immediately move on to the next thing almost the same day nag me for weeks about some sort of nonsense idea her mom gave her then I'd finally do it and almost instantly on to the next thing. She'd leave the house with a sticky note of lists of things I needed to do every day. I'd get text at lunch "hey did you do XYZ yet?" Then hold sex over my head "hey if you do it maybe tonight" and mind you we were married for less then two years we should have been humping like rabbits, she claimed the birth process was so traumatic for her she'd rather not have sex then risk it even if birth control AND condoms still wouldn't have sex. Awful handjobs the occasional blowjob.

Mopey_Robot · 2024-05-27T14:23:25+00:00

One of the toughest things is it is not you - it's her mental world she lives in. Your effort is not seen or valued, and when that is the case, it will never be enough. There is nothing more to do than save yourself.

mrk177 · 2024-05-27T14:07:43+00:00

I was exhausted by the time she asked for the divorce, so I just said yes. I didn’t fight her at all. I felt like I had already given 100% leading up to that point. Marriage counseling, multiple marriage books, compromises on top of compromises. It was never enough she always wanted that little extra. The way she approached me was everything I needed to hear to give up. She said I don’t want to work on our marriage anymore. That’s all I needed to hear. If she’s not willing to work on this anymore why should I. She was reasonable and the divorce was amicable. Over the years there was a little voice that asked why didn’t you fight for her. It became louder as time passed by and you forget the fighting and bad times, especially as you get along with this person. I would silence the thoughts by looking how happy I was now and all the added benefits to my life now. But the thoughts would surface from time to time.

Two years after divorce me and the ex wife were planning the summer regarding our kids. She mentioned her cousin was getting divorced. She said her cousin asked for the divorce in hopes that her cousins husband would fight for their marriage. He didn’t and agreed to the divorce. Since we were on the topic I asked her if it would have made a difference if I fought for her when she had asked. She said no it would have made things more difficult.

Glad I asked I really don’t think much about it anymore. I cherish the good times we had and I’m glad we had our time together but sometimes relationships just run their course.

Unique_Angle_1754 · 2024-05-27T11:19:01+00:00

Crap wife = crap life.

She initiated but vacillated between staying and going

Decided no more, to restart and stop pursuing her... Avoid sunken cost fallacy. What you paid yesterday doesn't exist in their brain today.

Hidden resentments and agendas are a big reason for marriage breakdown.

People make these fantasies in there head then try live them. When it deviates you as the loving spouse pay dearly.

It's hard but remove them. You will be better off in the long run with out them

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-27T09:25:25+00:00

Mine was a self-centered, responsibility-avoiding, unsupportive coward. Wrote me off at the first sign of a financial stumble. Given my pre-existing self esteem issues, she had always been cold by my standards, when she turned, she really turned cold and I was devastated - it took me a long time to recover, without the benefit of this place. More than recovered, financially. In the midst also diagnosed with ADHD and started managing and improving that. Didn’t matter. Not one bit. Didn’t care. Didn’t want to hear.

Like looking for water in the desert, you’ll find nothing from her. Any oasis a mirage. Find your own worth or suffer endlessly for, what turns out to be, absolutely no reason.

fffrdcrrf · 2024-05-27T08:11:48+00:00

Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally, men are loved based on what they have to offer. Women these days don’t need to stick it out and don’t have the same values as previous generations. We’re in an era of happiness being the number one priority in life and if you suddenly feel unhappy it’s unbearable and must be remedied even if it’s temporary. I cant imagine how our ancestors would feel about marriage and divorce in the modern era. Divorce used to be such a taboo thing and hell these days women throw divorce parties like it’s a flex, smh. For some women I swear marriage is more of a social status than a sacred union. Irregardless though man it’s not your fault, it’s a lot of modern society’s problems and you deserve a woman who is wise enough to realize that. Take that effort and energy you put into her and use it for yourself, you deserve it. Don’t forget there’s a lot of men out here that can empathize with you and as far as I can tell going forward into the future men are going to have to be there for each other more and more, stay strong.

stopher01 · 2024-05-27T08:06:28+00:00

You have to understand that it had absolutely nothing to do with you. You gave 100% and did everything you could, but some people are unable to reciprocate that kind of love because they don’t even love themselves. Unfortunately it takes 2 people to hold a relationship together, regardless of what 1 person is willing to do. Your ex took the cowards way out and gave up on you, and your relationship. As cliche as it may sound, you were more than good enough, and eventually if you decide to will find someone who will fight for you and love you how it’s supposed to be.

Title	Why wasn't the relationship worth fighting for?
Author	Radiant_Chipmunk_616
Upvotes	25
Comments	38
Date	May 27, 2024 7:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d1lv80/why_wasnt_the_relationship_worth_fighting_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-wasnt-the-relationship-worth-fighting-for.1519676 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519676

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