I’m kind of shocked society isn’t talking about how common “back up boyfriends” are

UglyDude1987 · 2024-08-07T15:46:21+00:00

My experience is yes this is true. Women usually will already be cheating or have another man on her mind when she breaks up or ends a marriage.

The reason why it isn't discussed is that women are better at hiding it. Often their infidelity partner will go long with covering it up. You rarely see this being true for men affair partners.

Women will gas light everyone about their behavior and their actions are supported by society at large. You can see it on reddit. It's always about them spinning a victim narrative that they are completely innocent. They will leave out the affair if it hurts their narrative.

For example if you go into the relationship subs you will see people actively encouraging a woman to go through their partners phone to confirm infidelity. If a man does that everyone would call him out for toxic behavior and abuse.

My current wife who I am divorcing did this to me with her work boss. Completely gas lighted me the entire time. I was completely oblivious of the affair until her sister sent me the pictures and text messages. I wouldn't have ever known. Even after she was caught she continued to lie, gas light, and state the affair has nothing to do with anything and that it was my fault. Turns out she was bragging and boasting about the affair to everyone and bragging that she may get money out of me as well as getting me to pay $10,000 right before she disappeared on medical surgery for her (which my insurance would have covered btw but she didn't care for that and did experimental procedure instead from clinic that didn't accept insurance). It was like she was a totally different person from who I thought I knew. Multiple female friends told me that they were never caught.

SpicyTigerPrawn · 2024-08-07T16:10:22+00:00

It's funny how all the things I thought I appreciated and respected in girls (compassion, nurturing, loyalty) turned out to be the very traits modern women withhold from the men in their lives. You might receive it from your mother but after that you're the overly-trusting brainwashed mark women happily abuse and dunk-on behind your back. When called out for their immoral behavior they blame the men for making them do it. Sounds a lot like the 1950's chauvinists feminism still rails against. They've become every horrible thing they ever claimed needed fixing.

GeegBoab · 2024-08-07T16:02:11+00:00

Monkey branching or "you never go barefoot to buy shoes"

CawlinAlcarz · 2024-08-07T15:59:03+00:00

It's called monkey branching.

GeneratedUserHandle · 2024-08-07T15:57:55+00:00

My ex wife had a backup

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2024-08-07T16:32:14+00:00

This why tell men that men and women can not be friends; there will always be an emotional imbalance. And that given the opportunity, every woman will cheat.

Clockw0rk · 2024-08-07T17:04:45+00:00

It's bad female behavior.

You're honestly surprised society isn't talking about bad female behavior?

What rock have you been under for the past few decades?

ABBucsfan · 2024-08-07T16:56:25+00:00

Funny enough I was visiting my sister the other day. She brought up the fact our other sister always had a backup plan and other times even cheated on current guys with old exes. I remember a time where she was already hanging around with the new guy before she left the old one. What I didn't remember that she reminded me about was when she brought a guy back from college who she'd arranged to at our neighbors (same college) because my parents didn't have an extra room. The kicker was she was picked up by her ex at the end of the street and brought back at like 2am....

She's my sis and all but damn.. that's street behaviour

Hopeful-Sir-2018 · 2024-08-07T16:55:26+00:00

Either way, relationships have reached such a one sided point I’m not surprised many men are checking out.

It's fascinating watching this.

Women are Big Mad men aren't interesting in pursuing them super hard. They have backup plans because they, emotionally, can't handle being alone.

Look at the single ladies and how they act. "I don't need no man" but then are doing instagram reels about how they fake-date to get free lunches and such. They mock men who won't drop $500 on a first date because "if you're broke, just say so". Then do nothing but spew venom on social media.

I don't see many single women that are happy. I DO see many happy single men. I also see many ANGRY women that men are happy.

I'm also seeing sad men call upon their friends for men and men actually answering the call. This is a very quiet shift but it's solid.

My sister is a selfish cheater. The "if he won't do it, I'll find someone who will" kind. The "yeah, I got him a threesome but we only focused on me and the other girl laughed at him when he wanted more action" type. I'm very curious if her husband will stay with her. We'll see. She can go insane and he's always super mellow. She was FLOORED when I said I have, literally, never cheated. She just assumed everyone did. She lives a very angry life and recently'ish (like the last year) has started therapy and is now realizing many things about herself.

It also didn't help her career was dealing with people when they were at their lowest much of which was predominantly men so.. no shit her view is skewed.

I've yet to see women consistently offer sympathy, empathy, or any positive emotion for their man. It's usually more of a "treat" than the actual "meal". But the very second her man doesn't treat her like an princess - they lose their minds.

I had a friend who did manual labor stuff (think: mostly commercial lawncare). He would basically work a little past sundown from sun up. He'd get home, eat, play some game for about 15 minutes, then off to bed. One day she blows up about how he never helps with the house. Like what the fuck? Ok, swap roles. YOU go do that and he'll handle the kids and everything else. Oh.. she didn't want that. She basically wanted him to work AND do "his fair share" of chores. Ok, 8 hour day now and way less money. No more getting her nails done, no more new clothes, but hey.. he's helping with dishes. She blows up about how he's too broke and they can't afford to do anything. Nah, what she wanted was a literal slave. I've seen many women over in 2x want the exact same thing. Those same women wonder why they're single years after. "Men just want me for sex" - no shit, because anything more than that comes with risks and trouble. Don't like it? Don't agree to sex. You want a trad man? Then put out after your date. You want a progressive man? Pay your half of the dinner. Ohhhhh, you don't want equality or traditional? You want privileges and to be treated like a queen? Ahhh, no. You're not that pretty.

OmegaRed718 · 2024-08-07T17:19:45+00:00

Yep - that’s why you assume that she has a man or BF as soon as you meet her. And in turn, you keep your options open too.

Women won’t leave you until they have another situation to branch off to. And at that point, you just let her walk and let her become someone else’s bill. I say bill, because it’s hard to leave someone when you look at it emotionally, but when you look at it in cold hard dollars and cents and money saved, it makes more sense.

walterwallcarpet · 2024-08-07T16:52:10+00:00

This from Arthur Schopenhauer in 1851. "For the secret, unformulated, innate moral of woman is: We are justified in deceiving those who, because they care for us, imagine that they have obtained rights over the species. The constitution, and consequently the welfare of the species have been put into our hands and entrusted to our care through the medium of the next generation which proceeds from us. Let us fulfil our duties conscientiously." https://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/onwomen.html

There's lots more to enjoy in this article. Female behaviour - recorded accurately in 1851, and hidden (in plain sight) from men since time began.

OnlyCommentWhenTipsy · 2024-08-07T17:36:13+00:00

It's even beyond monkey branching or having backups, modern women have rosters. Different guys for different occasions. It's because the guy with everything they want doesn't exist.

haaku-san · 2024-08-07T18:05:26+00:00

mgtow sure is great

Rude-Food7829 · 2024-08-07T17:15:13+00:00

it's high time we adapt and give it back to them even harder .

shopinhower · 2024-08-07T17:31:56+00:00

It’s one way women achieve serial monogamy. Have a bunch of orbiters to fall back on.

Ronniebbb · 2024-08-07T18:22:12+00:00

Normally at 30 I don't feel old, then I read stuff like this and realize yup I'm old and out of touch with the younglings.

Has a backup always been a thing?

Expose_Ur_BS · 2024-08-07T18:03:44+00:00

They don’t leave until they have somewhere else to go,

Paternity tests 100% of the time, you don’t wanna be raising a “back up bf baby”

MaleficentFig7578 · 2024-08-07T19:29:26+00:00

Everyone who's attractive enough to get a backup partner does this

liggamadig · 2024-08-07T19:29:50+00:00

How the average Western woman reads this thread title:

I’m kind of shocked society isn’t talking about how common “back up wallets” are

Either give them a taste of their own medicine, or just screw dating altogether. With a prostitute, at least you know how much it's gonna cost up-front.

fongpei2 · 2024-08-07T20:10:34+00:00

Some of the blame is on men too. Some men are orbiters. They are vultures circling for a carcass. Women know that they are there and make their contingency plans accordingly. The boyfriend/husband gets accused of jealousy when calling out the obvious orbit

IntrepidDifference84 · 2024-08-07T19:06:51+00:00

A man makes one small mistake or doesn’t comply with her orders and they are already planning an exit. They will entertain possible replacements and once she has all her ducks in a row she breaks and is with this new guy.

longhairedSD · 2024-08-07T19:50:06+00:00

Chris Rock has a great bit on this. They have them all the way down to the “emergency break glass” boyfriend lol.

flipsidetroll · 2024-08-07T16:47:35+00:00

Would you agree that your experiences don’t define the entire group? I’ve never had a back up and my friends haven’t. One friend did indeed have an affair, and ended up divorced, and she knows we think that was shady, but we also aren’t the morality police. I never want to be the morality police because my morals are not the same as everyone else. What you are describing might suck to the person who’s been left, but it’s not cheating. And it’s a grey area. Many people would say they had to break up so they wouldn’t cheat. Isn’t that better than cheating? But I can assure you it’s not the norm to have someone waiting. Unless you are 18.

Title	I’m kind of shocked society isn’t talking about how common “back up boyfriends” are
Author	Clean_Theme_1332
Upvotes	188
Comments	57
Date	August 7, 2024 3:24 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1emenyf/im_kind_of_shocked_society_isnt_talking_about_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-kind-of-shocked-society-isnt-talking-about-how.1526608 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526608

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