My wife and I have been together 12 years and married 5 years. The day before I left the state for a conference, I found out she has been talking to another guy and sending nudes. I confronted her when my two boys (4 and 2) were napping. She admitted to talking to him for a month (I doubt it) and that she no longer wanted to be married. I was devastated. Don't get me wrong, our marriage wasn't perfect, but I never thought she would do this.

I got home from my trip 4 days later. We talked and it was pretty simple, she wanted out. I told her our boys should live with me and she agreed. She planned to move in with her mom. In my head, not much would change. She would see the boys about the same (we both work full time jobs). We don't use daycare, but have a nanny come to our house. She's been with us for about 3 years now. It isn't cheap, and basically our entire money earned goes to living the American dream of debt and bills.

Just the other day, she said she was moving to Peru.....fucking Peru and wants our boys to stay with her in the summer. This terrified the shit out of me. She said this just happened to be her decision recently. She's leaving everything, even her cats, which I dont even want anymore (that's a whole other story). This drastically changes every thing. I won't have enough money to afford the nanny anymore. I'm gone 12 hours a day. My mom lives close, but she is 69 and can barely keep up with my boys.

I'm now going to have to sell the house, and find something smaller and closer to my mother. I'm 100% going to give my boys the best life I can.

I'm just worried that something is going to happen and my boys end up in Peru. I don't know what I'd do. Every days is agonizing. We haven't filed yet. I'm hoping to speak to a lawyer tomorrow for some peace of mind. My "wife" says she won't do that, but I'm still scared.

The best part of all of it is we still live together. She has been in her own room for over a year because she leaves for work at 3am. I get home and she talks to me about how her work day was and I try my hardest to listen. I closed tonight and got home around 10. She was already in her room talking to this guy on video chat. I have to walk past that room and she just stares at me. Its fucking me up mentally. My boys are the only thing keeping me together.

For some back story:

A year ago at her birthday party with family, her sister and her got in a huge drunken verbal fight. They were both in the wrong and she was too stubborn to admit it. I acted poorly that night and it seemed to be the tipping point. I figured she's just drunk and it will blow over. From that day forward she was different with me. She got on antidepressants and stopped drinking. She has been sober since that night. I realized that I've been with an alcoholic the past 12 years and didn't care because I was getting laid. I wish I would have seen the signs earlier and listened to my gut. I love my boys to death, but they don't deserve this.

Oh and I'm her second husband...another red flag, and this guy knows her from around 20 years ago. I found chats from them when she was still married to her other husband. He apparently works out of country, becauae he was in Mexico during those chats. I just don't know anymore. I'm so fucking over this shit.