Theory: hookup culture is an example of the paradox of choice

justdontsashay · 2025-04-15T04:00:50+00:00

Most people don’t really participate in “hookup culture.” Not because the amount of choice makes it unsatisfying, but because meaningless sex is generally unsatisfying and not worth the risks involved.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-04-15T04:27:38+00:00

My theory is that most of the time if you are in a situation always wondering if there's someone better, it's because you're not in a good relationship to begin with. I had a feeling I was looking for in a person that I'd want to date long term, and when I met someone who checked those boxes, I felt secure, safe, and not at all wondering if there was someone "better."

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-04-15T04:11:21+00:00

Hookup culture died in the early 2010s and now it’s a boogeyman made up by salty zoomers who are mad at the dating market they ruined

ta06012022 · 2025-04-15T04:00:41+00:00

Not exactly. Paradox of choice has to do with the anxiety induced by having to choose between A, B, and C. With hookup culture, you can have A, B, and C without having to choose. You're not forgoing A to choose B. You get A and B.

Alternatively, if you were told that you have to marry the first person you kiss, I'm guessing most people would have extreme anxiety in making that choice when looking across all options in person, on dating apps, on social media, etc. That would be paradox of choice.

No-Appointment-8270 · 2025-04-15T04:39:47+00:00

Best way to compare it : dating for women is like gaming for guys who have enough money to get anything. You check steam's page every day in hope of finding a perfect gem, sometimes you get a game because you heard it was good (pre-selection) and after playing a little you get bored and don't know which game to play.

Blonde_Icon · 2025-04-15T03:50:41+00:00

Yeah but most people aren't promiscuous tho.

IcyTrapezium · 2025-04-15T04:08:06+00:00

Disagree with a disclaimer. If you’re honest to yourself and others about what you want and don’t go into casual sex with expectations, this isn’t an issue. “Hook up culture” isn’t offering choices beyond “who do I want to have sex with.”” People who like casual sex (like I did long ago) understand there are different types of sex and romance. Some relationships are best as flings. Some are LTR material. I’ve always been aware of what type of relationship I was participating in and had no desire to make all relationships have the same goal.

Always wanting better can be a problem. I once read really good looking women and men are less satisfied in relationships because they have so many great options it’s hard for them to pick. I think for averagely attractive people like me we know a special relationship when we encounter it and think “this is the best fit for me with the most attractive man I could get.”

I don’t have FOMO. I’ve seen what’s out there.

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Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-04-15T05:35:36+00:00

a lot of men simply enjoy sexual variety, at least for a while as it eventually gets old for most. so men who have the option to engage in hookup culture often choose to do so. it's not really about wondering if there's somebody better. the low level of commitment involved in this dating style also suits a lot of men. they get access to sex with different women without investing into any relationships (emotionally, financially, their time and effort).

some women enjoy it too but generally speaking much less so than men on a (macro level). some of those who do engage are simply shooting for the most desirable men who will give them any time of the day and since men have considerably lower standards for casual sex, they will inevitably run into guys who are only options for short term fun rather than long-term commitment. it's mostly women who complain about being stuck in situationships, being used for sex and so on.

AreOut · 2025-04-15T08:40:13+00:00

hookup/situationship/spaceXImnotaslutbelievemeship

any kind of names just to not admit to herself what she really is

Key_Spread_3422 · 2025-04-15T13:37:02+00:00

Hookup culture is a lie perpetuated by Hollywood due to declining birthrates.

Jello_Vivid · 2025-04-15T18:07:51+00:00

Even though most women say they don't participate in hookup culture, the average women can if she wanted now if we look at men, the majority of men apart from roughly the top 20% can participate as women only want these men. So most men don't even have the options or choice so this only applies to women and top tier men. So relationships probably seem short term as these top tier men run the field and can go through multiple women whilst these women hold out for these men.

wtknight · 2025-04-15T19:26:14+00:00

With endless options available for a quick encounter, it feels like we should be more satisfied—but most times, we’re more anxious, less committed, and constantly wondering if there’s someone “better”.

I think that the anxiety induced by hook ups is more due to the propensity to catch feels during sex, how this happens more often in women than in men due to men being more emotionally impaired in sexual matters, and because the men are more willing to further explore better sexual options than to stay with a partner whom they could possibly catch feels for after sex.

Add to this that the men whom average women sleep with are often out of these women’s leagues for a monogamous relationship.

HammieFondler · 2025-04-15T04:28:54+00:00

With endless options available feels like we should be more satisfied

I'm sorry who the fuck is this "we"? Most people don't have "endless options" even with dating apps

Too much choice doesn’t always mean more freedom

Hot take incoming: yes it does. People who complain about having too many options are whiny babies who need to lock tf in and take some responsibility for their choices. Literally every dating app has an option to pause your profile, if you can't be bothered to do that then I don't care about your problems

The lack of commitment, situationships and modern dating being a nightmare is a direct result of propagating this culture

This has nothing to do with hooking up. This is serial monogamist culture. I never experienced hookup culture but I'm sure it was infinitely more fun

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-04-15T17:53:53+00:00

Hookup culture is fine. Sewing some wild oats before settling down is good for people, actually. The only people who moan about it are very uptight, or too unattractive to participate. I don't think the rest of us should limit ourselves on their account.

Title	Theory: hookup culture is an example of the paradox of choice
Author	Motor-Mail1111
Upvotes	32
Comments	59
Date	April 15, 2025 3:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jzieil/theory_hookup_culture_is_an_example_of_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theory-hookup-culture-is-an-example-of-the-paradox.1549639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549639

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