Almost Got Killed Last Night

Visual_Cycle_1066 · 2025-04-30T23:13:35+00:00

Yo brother, first off I am on your side my man. Bummer about the accident but you're alive and that's #1. As for the domestic stuff, I feel you, just make sure you are not playing the Victim Card in a daily game of Woe Is Me. If you are, knock it off, like right now. Stop it. Sack up and get on with life, it's beautiful out here in the wild! You're going to make it if you get your head straight and your attitude positive. You are the captain of your ship my friend, take the helm and chart a course.

MrBlue351990 · 2025-04-30T00:21:28+00:00

May not want to hear this brother but she isn’t the woman of your dreams. There are so many women out there that will love you for being you and not hate you. I am going through a divorce after 14 years of marriage and sharing 4 kids and she also claims to hate me. I came to the realization that she is not my person and the real person is out there waiting for me. You will find your dream woman bro trust me.

NoSleevesInSeattle · 2025-04-29T05:44:46+00:00

Went through a similar experience, still have bullet shrapnel in my head from it. I remember wishing it happened differently so I wouldn’t have to be here.

The world doesn’t stop turning. Nobody’s going to save you. Some people may try to take you down.

You got kids that need you.

Don’t give up on life.

Ladiesman94952 · 2025-04-29T04:50:30+00:00

Think about how badly you want to be with your BEST wife.... not your last one.... think Fourward

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-04-29T03:51:10+00:00

What did you live for before your wife?

I'm reading this to suggest you have children? I personally thank Providence that you survived to be a great father to your kids and to enjoy the many years you have ahead of you.

Finally, if it was meant to be she wouldn't have gone away.

My pops told me if all you have in life is Bacon and Eggs once a week on Sunday mornings, you're doing pretty well.

Hindsight is 20/20, you describe yourself as young, you don't have enough hindsight which is no fault of your own, just you're not down the circle of life enough to see enough things that were in your past and what ACTUALLY happened later.

It's pretty wild when you look back later in life about some of the things that upset you, you realize you dodged a bullet.

BENJIDOVER79 · 2025-04-29T02:02:02+00:00

First off man, I am glad you are still here. You survived something that easily could have taken you out, and even if it does not feel like it now, that matters. You are still in the game whether you realize it or not.

Now about your wife. I could be wrong, but it sounds like something happened on your side that pushed her away. When someone leaves that fast, when everything on paper seems good, it usually means there was something deeper going on that maybe you regret now. Maybe anger, control issues, insecurity, or even just not being the man you needed to be at the time. Only you know for sure.

The good news is that near-death experiences have a way of stripping away all the bullshit. You get to see what really matters. You already know something in you needs to change. Now it is about actually doing the work. Facing the uncomfortable stuff. Fixing what broke you before it breaks you again.

You are right that the dream you had is gone, at least with her. That part sucks and it is going to hurt for a long time. But your life is not over. You can still build something better. You can still create a life that is strong, stable, and maybe even better than the dream you lost.

Right now you need to focus on character first. Forget chasing success or trying to find another woman to fill the void. Become the kind of man who would never lose a good woman again. Heal first, then rebuild.

You are still here for a reason. Maybe it is not obvious now. Maybe you feel empty. That is normal after a crash like this, emotional and physical. But stay in the fight. Give yourself the chance to become the man you know deep down you were supposed to be.

You are not done. Not even close.

VeteranEntrepreneurs · 2025-04-28T19:22:33+00:00

Sorry to hear you went through this and also having gone through the divorce. I think wanting her in that moment is normal, I just had a realization today filling something out that I need a new “emergency contact”. It feels empty sometimes not having them by oursides, however, it’s really important to fight through your loneliness and deal with your trauma or otherwise it will eat at you. The body will eventually win over the mind, so it’s important to shift your mindset towards the future. I see so many post similar to yours about the past, and this might help you. Start building a vision board of what your future will look like, put pictures of your dream house, kids graduating college, that dream vacation and yes that dream women. Look at it every day, dream it, feel it and live it as if it was already there. Stop focusing on your past and start dreaming of your future.

CRobinsFly · 2025-04-28T17:31:19+00:00

Maybe a little off topic but go see a doctor immediately for your injuries to document. Not a doctor but you have made statements which in my non expert opinion demonstrate to me that you have exhibited emotional as well as physical trauma.

If you didn't create a police report of the incident, do it now. You may be entitled to an insurance claim of damages even if the other party effectively "got away".

Healing is hard. Live out of spite, brother.

WaltVegas · 2025-04-28T09:36:35+00:00

Bro, you're not alone. I felt that way for so long. You have a lot of work to do. If I had to guess, you need to learn what codependency is because I bet you were in a codependent relationship. But for sure, you need to connect with yourself and learn your value. It sounds like you placed all your value in another person. I've been there. You have intrinsic value, and you need to do new things, meet new people, and find things you're passionate about. You're more than a husband or a dad. It's time to meet you. It's not easy. I suggest therapy if you can.

FUMoney · 2025-04-28T09:17:27+00:00

Visit another country. Spend some loot. Party with some ladies. You'll feel better. I assure you, it won't feel pointless.

OGboobease · 2025-04-28T05:31:31+00:00

You matter even if the woman of your dreams is gone. you are a man and men age like fine wine. You also deserve a second chance in life because we all do. No matter how tough times are at this moment, your life will get better at this second chance you got. You surviving this near death experience is the universe telling you that this is your second chance in life. You survived for a reason. I hope you find that reason for the better. You got this OP! Your time is precious and you deserve every second of it.

Confident-Crawdad · 2025-04-28T04:42:19+00:00

You're certainly not alone. It took a bit for it to hit home but when my wife ghosted me I could've died our dogs could have fucking starved and she didn't give a fuck. She wouldn't have known for weeks.

What. The. Actual. Fucking. Fuck.

DarthFritter01 · 2025-04-28T03:44:05+00:00

You matter, and you’ll need to believe that if you’re going to find the right person to start a family with. Your honesty to yourself will do more for the happiness of your future family’s long term health than money alone, so be the dad you want to be before you have kids- by way of patience, strength, and involvement in the things that matter to you (be it community, faith, the arts, etc…). A carefully honed and polished edge lasts longer under stress, so take this time work on being who you want your kids to look up to. Divorce was excruciating and terrifying for me, like many in this group, but if I had lived that way I may not have sabotaged myself to begin with. Not saying you sabotaged yourself, or will, only that it’s less likely to happen if you realize your own value. You survived that accident, it’s up to you if you want to find a reason for surviving or prove it pointless.

BowlerThese1572 · 2025-04-28T03:09:37+00:00

"Was the woman of my dreams and always will be."

When i first divorced i felt like this deep in my soul. And i knew that nothing would change that. I'm 5 years divorced.

My ex is just another woman. Just like yours. Our experiences and timing with them might have been unique, sure.

And, maybe we won't get another one like our exes. But you know what? They won't get another one like us either. Women hate that, but it ends up being true for them too. They only get to be young-in-love once, just like us. New D or social media doesn't change that. Not even for them.

Borrowed-Time-27 · 2025-04-28T02:07:53+00:00

If you need a sense of purpose, there are a lot of people all over the world who could do with some of that good money. Look for ways to serve others and make them smile. See how it changes your life.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-04-28T01:56:35+00:00

A near death experience combined with the grief of your marriage will absolutely scramble your brain.

I'm grieving right there with you brother. I was looking through some picture albums tonight because I'm framing pictures of me and the kids, and I came across a picture of my wife I. We were laughing we were so happy.

Then I'm watching this movie on Netflix called "Always" and I'm all up in my feelings.

Be thankful for what you have, even though you're hurting. You have your health and you have the chance to find someone who will truly love you.

I'm writing this for you and me. Keep your head up.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-04-28T01:51:44+00:00

Before I ended up in a divorce, I thought the worst of it was not seeing your kids every night and losing half your stuff. I had no idea how much more loss is really involved.

The wife and partner I thought I’d grow old with? Gone. Not just gone, she’s not even the same person, which basically takes all the good memories with her. My dream of growing old as a family? Gone. My purpose as a husband? Gone. My kids’ innocence and trust in family? Gone. My financial security and ability to retire early? Gone. A third of my paycheck? Gone. The friendships we built together in our community? Gone. And the list goes on. Divorce rips a massive hole out of the center of you and leaves you bleeding out.

There is a lot I’m really thankful for in all of this and I see a lot to be hopeful for on the other side, but I feel your pain. It’s brutal. You don’t need advice right now. You’ve heard it all already. I just want you to know you’re not alone.

Title	Almost Got Killed Last Night
Author	raginggear57
Upvotes	64
Comments	22
Date	April 28, 2025 1:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1k9k24x/almost_got_killed_last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/almost-got-killed-last-night.1550827 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550827

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