Objectifying Personality

When we talk about personality, it’s often viewed as an intangible, almost subjective quality. The mainstream idea tends to associate personality with traits like kindness, extroversion, charisma, or confidence. But if we take a step back and try to examine personality from a more objective standpoint, the picture becomes a lot more complex.

personality is described in terms of traits like extraversion, neuroticism, openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness the Big Five Personality Traits.

To start, let’s take a look at the concept of normal distribution, where most people fall within 2 standard deviations of the bell curve. Statistically, this means that most of us are average in many respects whether it’s cognitive abilities, interests, or even emotional traits. So, when we say that most people are the same, it’s actually a fair observation. We all have similar core needs, interests, and experiences: we work regular jobs, we engage in common hobbies, and we all experience the basic range of human emotions.

Now, why is it then that so many people let’s say 7/10 men struggle to attract the “average” girl? Assuming we take things like looks, money, and social status out of the equation, we’re left with personality as the defining factor in social dynamics. The problem arises when we try to define exactly what makes someone “attractive” or “charming” beyond these external factors. If most people are the same, why do some individuals struggle more than others when it comes to personal interactions, relationships, or social appeal?

can anyone objectify personality beyond looks money and social status.
on confidence i believe confidence is something you get after you get successful at anything i am confident in deadlifting 4 plates but not in cooking a good steak.

because i have done it many times.

can you demystify the virtuous words such as "personality", "confidence". etc.

assumption is that guy is fit above average in height and looks.

EDIT :

okay i will make it more simple

Most people's cognitive personality traits, such as intelligence, temperament, and behavior, fall within the two standard deviations (2 SD) of a normal distribution curve. This means the majority of people tend to have average levels of these traits, while only a small portion stands out as exceptionally high or low.

However, when it comes to traits like physical appearance, wealth, or social status, these characteristics follow a log-normal distribution. This means that most people are neither extremely wealthy, famous, nor exceptionally good-looking, but instead tend to fall in the "average" range.

Given this, when advice is offered to "improve your personality," what exactly should a person focus on? What aspects of personality development can someone work on to make meaningful improvements?

If an individual's personality is already average in some areas and above average in others, they should, in theory, be able to find someone with similar traits. However, the challenge arises because factors like wealth, physical appearance, and social status—traits that follow a log-normal distribution—seem to dominate in the dating world. In other words, the "average" person struggle to find compatible partners simply because these three factors are what seem to matter most.