I’m a girl trying to understand what men actually go through. So what gets ignored the most?

Smoothsailing4589 · 2025-06-13T02:33:01+00:00

The amount of misandry has increased rapidly in the last few years. It has been accepted and normalized. That gets ignored. The only ones who realize it and talk about that are people in the men's rights movement. The media refuses to report on misandry.

Ok-Consideration8724 · 2025-06-13T02:31:26+00:00

Child custody cases, alimony abuse, physical abuse of all kinds, and equity. Most of these are connected and will often lead to suicide of men. Once we get those done then maybe we can actually get women to care about the male suicide rate. I’m sure a lot of women care, but just look at your favorite feminist online and see how little they care.

Radiant-Ordinary1390 · 2025-06-13T03:03:48+00:00

Well sexual assault of men is pretty normalized, I worked as a bouncer/doorman at a bar for two years getting groped and kissed was a daily thing if not multiple times a day.

Septic-Abortion-Ward · 2025-06-13T02:28:57+00:00

The lack of consequences for women just shamelessly lying. Emmett Till certainly comes to mind.

MinosML · 2025-06-13T03:53:23+00:00

The rest of the answers seem comprehensive enough, so I'll just stop by to say; thank you for caring.

Tumor_with_eyes · 2025-06-13T02:38:03+00:00

Important men’s issues…

1 - The mandated responsibility in society.

Men (in the US, and many other nations) are expected to sign themselves up for the selective service. The draft.

Something women don’t have to do, but can vote to send men off to war for their own benefits.

As a recent example in the world? Take the Ukraine, where men are being forcibly taken from their homes on their 18th birthday. And then news articles have come out talking about how “women are most affected by the war.” Despite these men being forcibly conscripted and die.

And I’m not even speaking directly about the draft itself. It’s just an example of mandated males expectations in society for the betterment of society. Yet masculinity is villainized at every turn. Where if a man is masculine, he’s labeled as “toxic” or “a misogynist.”

2 - Legal.

This is huge one. Across the board, women have lighter sentences for the exact same crimes.

When it comes to abortion? Where a woman can choose to abort a baby, a man can not choose to abstain from any parental responsibility or child support.

So, a woman gets pregnant, she can choose to have it or abort it, regardless if the man wants her to or not to. And then should she choose to keep it? He is on the hook for 18yrs of child support.

Those are just 2 small examples.

3 - Being demonized and disadvantaged in modern western society for being men.

Being born a man is somehow seen as a privileged position. Regardless of where or how you’re born. Women are both empowered and born victims at the same time.

If you’re a man, you can’t be masculine on your considered toxic. But if you have any problems? No one is coming to save you, unless you just so happen to have close family or friends. And no one wants to see or cares if you “cry about it.” Matter of fact, many female partners (girlfriends, wives etc) will outright lose sexual interest in their man if they become vulnerable enough to cry in front of them.

There are a TON of programs to promote and help women in all sorts of facets of life. From homelessness to college education etc.

There are, if I remember correctly, 2 men’s domestic violence shelters, in ALL of America. Maybe 5.

Homeless shelters prioritize women with kids, and men at the very last of a list of qualifiers.

College programs? If you’re a straight man, especially a straight white man? Good luck getting any grants or scholarships that aren’t sports related.

And all of that, is just off the top of my head.

kmikek · 2025-06-13T02:29:04+00:00

Read norah Vincent's book

KarateInAPool · 2025-06-13T02:36:20+00:00

Look into MGM compared to female circumcision (globally), suicide rates for men (globally), Male incarceration rates and sentencing compared to women (globally), homelessness rates between men and women (globally), compulsory military rates between men and women (globally), the top 20 most dangerous jobs and the percentage of men associated working them (globally), the amount of gender affirming care paid out for men compared to women (globally)… this is just the top of my head.

Realize this though, feminism is only justified through anecdotal primitive impulse with nearly no quantitative with qualitative analysis to back it up.

Ace2Face · 2025-06-13T05:38:07+00:00

We have no male only spaces to connect with each other and grow. It's illegal to create a large club and invite only men. Women for some reason must inject themselves in every male space, and then begin to change it to favor themselves, or the men are foolish enough to change their environment for them.

Lopsided-Gap2125 · 2025-06-13T03:16:21+00:00

Honestly, to me the biggest single thing is the general perception regarding the genders. Men are durable, not sensitive, and are more likely to be viewed with suspicion, and more deserving of what comes to them. Contrasting this with how women are viewed as worth protecting, more emotionally in tuned, and overall more innocent and less deserving of what happens to them in life, it really seems like a recipe for what is actually happening which is a startling amount of male suicide. If you include reckless death (which publicly is attributed to male immaturity) but in my experience always coincided with already depressed men, the death rate for young men is very high.

I think this issue is he ge because it underlies every other issue that happens, and like you, I don't participate in any gender war stuff because I just want improvement for all, and this seems like the obvious correction to make. I appreciate you posting, and I'm glad you have a developed enough view of people to make the assertion that the wellbeing of both genders matters, it is not nearly as common as I'd like it to be.

Big-Flatworm-135 · 2025-06-13T02:24:28+00:00

You could read some Warren Farrell to learn more. This sub has a section I think in the community info link with lots of information. There are other writers/thinkers like Tin Men Blog, Dr. John Barry, Janice Fiamengo (she can be a bit provocative).

I’m sure other people have a lot of great answers but I’d say men’s suicide is a big one. And gender bias in moral typecasting does a lot of heavy lifting for people’s intuitions around gender that exists upstream from a lot of men’s issues IMO.

Maybe also flipping the intuition from seeing men as wanting to control and dominate women to seeing men as wanting to care for and protect women (even if sometimes that can be infantilizing - which it can be and that’s a problem IMO). Not seeing men as a monolith. Not seeing men as thriving in a boys club that exists only to oppress women.

The-Cyberpunk · 2025-06-13T04:00:27+00:00

The fact that men have emotions and cannot express them outside of male exclusive safe space. Another one that comes to mind is how suicide affects men disproportionately more than women. I will admit it's kind of funny but still incredibly sad. Men and women attempt suicide in roughly equal numbers but men are more likely to succeed and the men who don't still have to deal with not having as robust of a support network as women typically tend to have. So they are more likely to try again

Adorable-Rest9027 · 2025-06-13T02:18:56+00:00

Our feelings perhaps? I just wanna cry sometimes

saulbq · 2025-06-13T07:20:20+00:00

If a woman is a victim of domestic violence all she needs to do is to contact the police or social services and the male perpetrator will be arrested, sometimes within minutes. If a man is a victim of domestic violence and he contacts the police or social services HE will most likely be arrested! The police arrive, they see the man angry, the woman crying and arrest ... THE MAN. Happens all the time. The police just don't understand that men can be victims of domestic violence. (I can send you many sources for this.)

Numerous_Solution756 · 2025-06-13T04:44:27+00:00

Thanks for caring and wanting to understand.

What are some important men’s issue: legal, systemic, social, or emotional that you think more people (like me or anyone) should be aware of and speaking about?

There's a whole lot, but some critical ones are:

- people treat women better, which sounds sort of benign, until you realize that an alternative way of saying that is "people discriminate against men". And not just in small informal ways: judges discriminate against men in criminal and divorce court. Wales gives 77x as much money to women's groups as men's groups, even though 80% of people killing themselves are men, and even though men are more often the victims of violence, and of domestic abuse. Girls get higher grades for the same work. Women are often preferentially hired. There's women-only scholarships while already more women attend university. People also just don't hold women accountable in general. This is probably the most productive point on this list to take action on.

- people just care about women more. If 80% of people killing themselves were women, or if 90% of workplace deaths were women, immediately action would be taken, and both men and women would demand change. Men would demonstrate for pro-female measures in this situation. But in this reality, 80% of people killing themselves are men, and 90% of workplace deaths are men, and very few men or women are asking for change.

- Not only aren't men's rights activists not listened to, people are also actively hostile to them. If I talked at work about being a men's rights activist. I might get fired for that, which yes would be illegal but they'd use some excuse.

- pervasive "men are bad until they prove they're not, women are wonderful" messaging. If from childhood you'd been told that women are bad and men are wonderful, and if in all modern media women were bad / stupid and men were smart, you'd want that changed, right? And you'd be right to want that.

- pretty much any time there's a problem, people say that men must fix it. Both on a societal scale and on a small scale. Wife unhappy? Husband must fix it. Husband unhappy? Husband must fix it. But also on a societal scale, most people are telling men they must do X or Y or Z in order to stop societal decline. How many people are saying that women need to make changes to improve society, except "more boss babes in power"?

- a man's issue is that women are picky, both inherently and more so due to social media and tinder. And men are also told that if they're in INvoluntary CELibate then they're an incel and incels should basically just all die. And if men intentionally avoid dating (MGTOW), they also typically get a negative reaction. (Now obviously I'm not saying that women should be forced to date unappealing men. Other than "be less harsh against men" there's no easy solution for the dating crisis. But, this is a struggle men face.)

surveysaysno · 2025-06-13T07:02:42+00:00

When you start paying attention to women's words you notice a striking lack of autonomy. He drove her to cheat, he forced her to have the kid, work made her quit. On and on.

They usually blame a man for their actions. And even if the roles were reversed it would still be a man's fault.

It gives a sense of constant no win scenario and men disengage from women in general. MGTOW etc.

Khasimir · 2025-06-13T04:41:50+00:00

Objectifying men because it's assumed men want to be objectified by women who take an interest. Then you've got people like Henry Cavill nervous to go on talk shows because he doesn't want to deal with that. Objectifying what women don't like is worse. Being short and being told "you would be perfect but you're too short". Like how do you rebuild self esteem when you hear shit like that? Women's words can be so destructive and they don't realize that. When I started dating my gf, I told her to please stop saying "ew" in response to things. That phrase is a weapon that destroys boys for years and years.

inevitable_dave · 2025-06-13T09:35:33+00:00

With systemic womens issues, the blame is laid primarily on the system and society itself, as it rightly should be, with an emphasis on coming together to try to fix things for the better.

For mens issues? It is the fault of the individual, and they should be ashamed to have problems or require. Doubly so when that same help could go towards women. (Look into homeless refuges, refugee allocations, and mental health focusses for a good starting point).

Xfanboi · 2025-06-13T04:54:09+00:00

First of all thanks for caring in the first place; I’ll keep this as concise as possible

Men feel demoralized and de-masculanized due to many factors (this post would take up the entire comments section if I got into the details)
Men feel like they don’t have a purpose: for thousands of years men were warriors and leaders in their communities. Thousands of years of DNA and this genetic framework are present in modern men. But what are modern men told to do; Split bills 50/50?Let their wife lead the household? Men are supposed to take the lead and lead both efficiently and BENEVOLENTLY. This means shouldering the emotional burdens of their wife and children. Leadership = responsibility
Don’t feel loved Nowadays women are getting more attention than ever due to social media. Constant dms, flirty texts, ect… the attention is constant and increased attention = pride and ego for most ppl. Also, most men now are in loveless marriages unfortunately. Their wife is willing to withhold sex over trivial issues and if he tries to stand up for himself she’ll likely threaten divorce; no man wants to go through that.

TLDR: Lack of purpose, insecurity, demoralization, unappreciated, ect…

schtean · 2025-06-13T06:34:06+00:00

Policies of preferred hiring for women even when they are the majority of employees, this goes along with policy/union contract language saying men are not "equity deserving". The majority of the members in these unions are women.

KochiraJin · 2025-06-13T07:10:43+00:00

Have you watched "The Red Pill"? Cassie Jaye also has a TED talk about making that documentary that's worth watching. Although that talk isn't really about men's rights.

Honest-Weather8663 · 2025-06-13T08:05:45+00:00

Most men are taught not to open up or when men open they're mocked. Hence even if something bad happens to a man no one listens especially if abuser is a woman. This leads to people thinking that abuse of men is rare which is completely false statement.

I see countless by men using domestic violence against men as a joke.

Ok_East7175 · 2025-06-13T08:14:22+00:00

Have you watched "the red pill" by Jesse? That's pretty informative on so many issues

jiberjaber · 2025-06-13T08:31:15+00:00

Read the book called “Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man” by Norah Vincent

I_should_be_in_bed28 · 2025-06-13T12:22:01+00:00

There are some great videos/documentaries that have been made on these topics and I would recommend watching some of them

E.g.

1) The Red Pill- made by a feminist who explores men's issues through many interviews. Her views change over the course of the documentary and she should

The below is just a trailer for that but you can get the full film in various places.

https://youtu.be/wLzeakKC6fE?si=FgeQ61Lq_P0l6jc5

2) Nora Vincent- she was a lesbian who investigated men's issues by going undercover and pretending to be a man. Her journey was so insightful for those who aren't familiar with any men's issues, and much like Cassie (The Red Pill doc), Nora changed her views on men. Trigger warning (she actually was so affected by it that she fell into a depression and committed suicide).

I think there's a longer version & a book but the below is a decent summary in 30mins

https://youtu.be/pXHYV_H7owI?si=OAjVwh9hp09UTZGS

United_Iron369 · 2025-06-13T05:12:36+00:00

What is Fem-Androgynous ?

peak183 · 2025-06-13T06:56:44+00:00

Thank you for caring is all i can say tbh

MAY_BE_APOCRYPHAL · 2025-06-13T09:42:36+00:00

Men need men only spaces. Women have invaded almost all of them. I used to go to a male hash house harriers. Women wanted to join, and it was put to a vote. There was a unanimous desperate cry of "NO!!"

Dollface_69420 · 2025-06-13T11:03:31+00:00

Sadly there is a massive double standards, look at babysittee or hell anything to do with kids as a women your are trusted more hell a women can make a false SA claim and get a slap on the wrist, that mans life is ruined

physical-vapor · 2025-06-13T11:04:32+00:00

My ex falsely accused me of rape, and manufacturing child porn using my daughter. She faced no consequences when it was discovered she was full of shit. I have full custody of my daughter at least. Anyone who says women don't falsely accuse, is full of absolute shit. Oh and this ex, was a believe all women #metoo type of girl, super hard-core liberal. Social worker and everything lol. It's pretty funny now, looking back on it.

griii2 · 2025-06-13T11:17:50+00:00

Hi, I am a victim of domestic violence. My therapist told me that a man cannot be abused by a woman.

Have a nice day :)

Lets_Remain_Logical · 2025-06-13T11:23:24+00:00

Thank you for the effort and for surfing against the stream. Respect!

EnvironmentalRate853 · 2025-06-13T11:56:19+00:00

Emotional and psychological domestic violence. Women don’t usually resort to physical violence, but it takes the form of covert and insidious criticism, gaslighting, double standards, financial infidelity, emotional withholding, control etc. It’s impossible to point at this stuff. The constant focus solely on men’s behaviour is just so tiring. So many times i have thought “fuck it, you don’t need me, just have my money”.

(ps: thanks for taking the time to ask and (hopefully) understand :-)

BeepBeepYeah7789 · 2025-06-13T12:45:32+00:00

My primary focus is fathers' rights (I am not a father myself).

You (in general) can't in one breath say that men who helped bring children into the world need to step up and take responsibility for them and in the next breath say that fathers are nothing more than glorified babysitters.

TKD1989 · 2025-06-13T13:58:30+00:00

What gets ignored the most? The fact that we're human beings and have had it harder for millennia. We're first to be drafted for wars, forced to take on the most grueling jobs like construction, mining, oil rig roughnecks, and derrickmen, farmers, steel and iron workers, firefighters, truck drivers, plumbers, electricians, roofers, street sweepers, waste collectors to policemen, military personnel especially soldiers and marines.

No, we aren't privileged. We don't have it easy except for a few who were born into money. Other than that, men have to suffer without complaint, performing thankless jobs that are potential and mentally exhausting with little to no appreciation from society and no acknowledgment for our sacrifices. That isn't a sign that we're privileged. That doesn't sound glamorous or luxurious because it's not. We do all the jobs that no one else wants to do.

DepartureFriendly303 · 2025-06-13T17:57:34+00:00

Have you tried these subs yet

r/everydaymisandry

r/MisandryFreeFemAllies

I think you might like them

Another men's issues sub that you could check out as well is

r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

Infamous-Papaya-6346 · 2025-06-13T08:35:25+00:00

let's talk about progress and progress rates. women get benefits at rate higher than men, and that is a compounding advantage, much like your snowball rolling down the hill. Of course we won't see it now, because looking at an acceleration time graph will not give a distance credibly. arguments only focus on progress rather than the rate, so I find it problematic

MAY_BE_APOCRYPHAL · 2025-06-13T09:47:23+00:00

Men need sex like they need food. It seems modern women don't recognise the damage they are doing to their marriage by withholding it for petty reasons, especially once the kids are there. Perhaps in times past, a girl's mother would explain marital duties. Women nowadays control the frequency, and that can build resentment.

Deckardisdead · 2025-06-13T10:47:40+00:00

Women have privileges that men are completely shutout from and no one seems to care. As a matter of fact zero empathy for a man is so common I just live my life like a hermit. Single dads are easy targets for vengeful exs. Experience was multiple times of false reports. No consequences. That is exactly why I do not and will not have a woman in my life. Been done for more than a decade. Just focused on raising my kids. Their fucking mom abused them horribly. I tried. I tried. Not one took me seriously. They all just said "oh he's just mad " NO I WASN'T. My kids came back when ma abandoned them and left with a cult. Oh there's nothing they can do. I should just be happy it's better for them. If one person had listened it would have changed. Women suck in our society now. Feminist really means revenge.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-06-13T11:38:09+00:00

In simple terms. That rules are enforced on men.

And bend at every degree for both women and special minorities.

A small example everyone is in agreement children should be protected and can not content to have sex under a type of age right?

So if a male teacher has sex or relationship with a minor girl. He gets put in jail and can never work or be near children again.

Well what happens when the roles are reversed. A women teacher grooming a minor male child. What you hear then. Ow the teacher is hot he is lucky minor has game. Where is the same protection then? While often only something happens when the outrageous is to big. Sometimes small prison time in almost nothing in comparison to a guy would. And often they just lose there job and end up still continue working in the same field or working with children again.

Thats just 1 exemple of many many many.

There is a structural problem with every same thing same rule break same crime not getting equal punishment across the board. Especially when its done to men.

Even with stalking or domestic violence. Even to financial or sexual manipulation.

Or even the case with no evidence at all. The me too the believe all women without any proof. No men would be like yes he is the same sex as me no matter what he says I belief him.

Its a structureel flaw on every level. That women are seen as victims and pure and filled with innocence that can do no wrong.

And men are vile and evil and dangerous beings that can do no right.

Why you have a ton of men not caring for a lot of women's issues.

Women losing sexual reproductive rights? Ow what do i care i never had any sexual reproductive rights to begin with. Women can keep it and kill it i have no say. If she keep it im on the hook for it..

There endless more examples of to show structural it is. Just look how people act about a news thing saying men cheated wife cut off dick and put it down a food dispenser. How people laugh and find it funny and find it deserve.

But tell a news story about cheating wife got caught and beaten. Not even mutation just beaten. And see how people react to it.

And then look at the difference of punishments for the 2 crimes. Then you see how mentally retarded the society is and how we living in a black mirror episode.

And thats the truth most men are done being treated and used as 5th rate citizens. Where everything is seen as our problem or our fault or our responsibility to carry.

Why hate for both the rainbow community and women. Increase again and again and again. Most cause they dont have good women and rolemodles in there life's also but the whole society is so fucked.

How would women feel if no matter what crime you do your very likely to get 5 times the time. Just cause your born a girl. You get labeled for all the problems or things that happened over 200 years ago. You have zero part in. And every single thing and problem in the world is cause of men. Don't think you would like society all that much would you. Well thats the incell culture not men being out of society. Just men done being the evil person by association. And living for them selfs.

And cause many men are indifferent to everything cause they always wrong always the problem. Should take the 40 demands a women has but are never allowed any demands of there own cause there a sexist or oppression of women's rights.

Just more and more sacrifices are needed for less and less value in return. What makes for most men the price to be much to high for the return given. Especially cause you cant demand anything.

So in my whole message to put a short answer to your question what gets most ignored for men?

The equality people say and yelling that they want. Each thing again and again and again and again. Is only fair when it goes and pulls one way.

Where is the fairness in the women dominated fields to push in men? Ow cant have that

Where is the fairness in jail times 5 times the time for men for the same crimes as women? seems very unfair to me

Ow where is the fairness about spaces? Women can open and start there own gyms and driving schools. Have lady's night where males are excluded. Not allowed for men. Not allowed to have there spaces.

Even gay clubs and bars gets pushed in by ladies that then are outraged gay men show no interest in the girls cause they refused to buy them drinks no im not making this shit up I experienced it my self.

Im happy in a relationship going on 9 years I dont hate women I hate how biased and fked the system is how its stacked against you based on what's between your legs. How fairness is only fair if its always goes at the costs of men. What makes it only normal men grow more and more hateful against the more privileged groups.

Its sad that I hope if il have a child soon i have a daughter over a son just cause I think society is so harsh and so unfair and so judgemental only one way.

And that's my honest believe I only dont hate women cause I have great women in my life. But think of the men that dont have great women. How it pushes men to be the scary enemies society already treats them like. What literally cause most men snapping and becoming the worst society act like they are. Thats how you get school shooters. How you get people driving true crowd of people. We all see it as a evil deed. But if you treated at a 5th rate person and as always the problem and undeserving of love or even of care or anything. With all the examples. It makes 500% more likely that you make the radical. monsters society said they are. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. Basically by how you treat people as a whole with massive baised and unjustly.

Ziogatto · 2025-06-13T13:21:16+00:00

Imagine a world where if you call the cops because your partner is hitting you, the most likely outcome is that they don't even bother to come and the second most likely outcome is that they come and put YOU WHO CALLED THEM in jail.

That's the world men live in. No, I didn't make up these statistics: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/08862605211001476#

Evening_History_1458 · 2025-06-13T18:24:04+00:00

Thank you asking this question I am not sure what makes you think about this question but thanks anyways For me the biggest problem is how unfair it is when you are trying to divorce your wife that is mutual. A man will never a get fair trail in court about custody / money or for that matter anything else. Some how in a mutual divorce makes always get short ends of the stick.

Illustrious-Rice3434 · 2025-06-13T20:05:56+00:00

The suicide rate amongst men. The homelessness amongst men.

throwaway1231697 · 2025-06-14T02:22:29+00:00

I think the fact that about 4 billion people (half the world’s population) live in countries where legally, only men can be rapists.

That means if a man forcibly has sex with a woman, it’s rape. If a woman forcibly has sex with a man, it’s a lesser crime with a lower minimum and maximum jail term, on top of the fact that women already receive lighter sentences.

This includes countries like the UK, Singapore, China etc.

2025-06-15T02:41:40+00:00

Thank you for your interest.

In 2001, I woke up in a hospital emergency department. The psychiatrist asked for my wife's number which I'd given without thinking about it.

Next thing I know, I'm in a private room with the psychiatrist and my wife at the time and the psychiatrist told me, in my wife's presence, that I had attempted suicide as an alternative to killing my wife.

In absolute shock, I could say nothing. I could only gaze ahead.

Luckily for me, however psychologically and sexually violent my wife was, at least she wasn't the kind to make a false accusation. She ignored the doctor's comment, turned to me, and berated me for my attempt.

The psychiatrist, satisfied that my wife did not fear me and that I posed no threat to her, just released me from hospital like nothing had happened. It had not even crossed her mind that I might have been in a violent relationship, and this in spite of the fact that I had awoken in a hospital emergency department from a suicide attempt.

Recognizing that I was not going to find any help in Canada, I left to work in China for around 8 years.

I think public education around sexual and intimate-partner violence against men is grossly lacking and victims' services are absolutely not adapted to the realities that male victims face. Unfortunately though, when men suggest improvements to the system, we are shut down because sexual violence is viewed as a women's issue so we men must stay in our lane as the... well, I guess as the aggressors I suppose. We just need to learn anger management because of course we're the aggressors.

I like to say that if men are the aggressors, then I molested my adult female babysitter when I was 7 and 8 year sold and abused my ex-wife by resisting her increasingly aggressive and psychologically violent unwanted sexual advances.

One thing that irritates me about feminists is that they caricaturize domestic violence. For example, as strange as it might seem, however psychologically violent my ex-wife was, she was a victim in her own right. She was having problems with the Canadian refugee system. Of course that did not excuse her behaviour, but it did attract some sympathy from me and some fear that if I sought help, she risked an excessive punishment by being removed to an unstable country. The feminist caricaturizing of abusers as 100% evil does victims no favours. Those who have experienced such violence are aware that violence can be much more nuanced in that the aggressor can sometimes be a victim in their own right at the same time. It's far more complex than feminists make it out to be.

I actually do have some radical ideas on how to effectively deter sexual and domestic violence. If you are interested, just DM me.

2025-06-16T10:42:33+00:00

I think many women feel the same way as you do, but are afraid to disrupt the social norms in actual social settings. This is mainly due to the fact that nobody wants to take the heat or be a killjoy. As a social worker, I am morally and ethically obligated to challenge oppressive language and behaviour at every opportunity. I can tell you that it is often uncomfortable and can be dangerous for me personally unprofessionally, but I feel obligated to do so. Research always takes 20 or 30 years to catch up with society. This is a fact. Because of this social change is often slow and systemic change is often negligible because society fails to catch up. For example, the civil rights movement inspired a lot of legal change, but not social change. This is evidence through the ongoing systemic and social racism, gender inequality, and generally oppressive mechanisms that are still in place regardless of the legal changes. This is also compounded by the fact that if you are not rich, you have no rights or no means to defend your rights. We have miles to go before we sleep, and there is much work to be done. Unfortunately, extremists in America and other countries have decided that all those rights that everyone worked so hard to achieve are not valuable relevant or sustainable. Everything we do we take two extremes and we never find the sweet spot.

Brene Brown does a wonderful job talking about vulnerabilities all genders, and I would know because she is a social worker, just like me ! I suggest that you start delving into brene browns work extensively.

Margaret Mead was an amazing woman who worked tirelessly for equality for both genders. Check out her many amazing achievements and quotes that speak to gender equality.

blue-pill_red-pill · 2025-06-16T20:15:29+00:00

Misandry was in every TV show and movie back in the 80s and 90s. But it was somehow subtle to a little more obvious. People ignored it. Unfortunately.
Today misandry is off the charts. Most people still ignore it or accepted it. But men are waking up and don't take it anymore. We are fed up.

Superb-Abrocoma5388 · 2025-06-13T05:45:14+00:00

Too much anger/frustration and a lack of understanding for Autistic men

WhereProgressIsMade · 2025-06-13T18:14:48+00:00

When I read stories and interviews of trans men, the strongest theme that emerges is how socially isolating they feel. Society/culture places an expectation on men (and anyone passing as one) of being stoic, bottling up emotions, not venting too much, not complaining too much, not sharing everything they feel or experience.

BattleFrontire · 2025-06-13T11:19:55+00:00

It's been getting more attention, but still not enough relative to how blatantly wrong it is when you actually think about it:

In America and several other cultures, it's very common to circumcise male babies soon after they're born. Circumcision often removes a lot of skin and can remove a lot of sexual pleasure: both from the removed tissue itself and from the glans being less protected and keratinizing over time. There's very few if no health benefits to circumcision, whereas we would never remove any other body part from someone without consent unless there was overwhelming proof that it's medically necessary.

In comparison, female genital mutilation is heavily villified and is illegal in most of the first world. Bodily autonomy is also often highly valued for women in many circles. I get that America's recent pushback against abortion rights is horrible, but generally society has been moving towards bodily autonomy for women. But infant circumcision is a clear violation of bodily autonomy for boys and the men they grow up to be. Despite this, it still isn't illegal anywhere, and complaining about it is often seen as a joke.

2025-06-13T16:10:47+00:00

There isn't much that the current system can offer men. There are only jobs left that nobody wants to do that doesn't pay people enough nor cushy enough. There is only hard work left for us. Only responsibilities. Men don't want to do anything anymore. There is no reward linked to anything.

Repulsive_Repeat_337 · 2025-06-13T19:52:25+00:00

Nobody wants to address the fact that children are abused more often by their mother than by their father. They all point to the fact that when a father loses his mind, the results are fatal or nearly so... That is a legitimate concern. I'm not discounting it, but don't focus all attention on men when statistically they are not the larger problem.

Rare-Discipline3774 · 2025-06-13T22:49:53+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Egalitarianism/s/ZQPOou5Yho

Braindead_Nihilist · 2025-06-14T00:19:35+00:00

Bit late to the party, but speaking mostly from personal experience I'd say the near total lack of empathy and support for men in crisis. I've been homeless twice in my life. Both times totally broke with nothing to my name. Everything I owned was what I could carry. I reached out to all the people in my life and got nothing. Publicly people would flat out ignore me, or worse look to actively torment me just because they could. Despite clearly needing help, being willing to do any work for any amount of pay, and following the instructions of every organization who claimed they could help I recieved nothing. I was denied from SNAP and TANF three separate times despite having no income for reasons that nobody could clearly articulate. Showing any amount of frustration or dissatisfaction with that would make whoever was handling my case "feel as though their life was in immediate danger" and I would get pushed back in the queue and have to wait on yet another person to talk to. Attempts to get help with mental health would result in being directed to getting insurance through the state who would also deny my requests multiple times for reasons that made no sense. I was told I made too much money despite being jobless. I was told I had been approved by the state but denied by the insurer which again made zero sense. Any attempt to go through established channels was an endless wall of red tape, phone calls, and waiting rooms that led to nowhere. I was also walking to each appointment made, meaning between 3 and 5 hours spent just getting to wherever I was going. I was denied a bus pass since I didn't have an address in the city despite them having a program for the homeless and explaining that multiple times to multiple people. My "imposing and intimidating size and demeanor" got me disallowed from local shelters and havens. I had nowhere to sleep because everyone just assumed I was some dangerous individual. I would mostly keep to myself and just try and stay out of people's way, which is apparently quite sinister. It's hard not to develop a view that society is anti-man when you see the women living under the same circumstances recieving the help they ask for and then some.

excess_inquisitivity · 2025-06-14T10:02:53+00:00

Look up the global gender gap report. (Works Economic Forum). If you do a simple text search through each year's report since it began, you'll see some statement very much like this:

the index rewards countries that reach the point where outcomes for women equal those for men, but it neither rewards nor penalizes cases in which women are outperforming men in particular indicators in some countries.

That statement may seem bland, maybe common-sensical at first, but this is a profound rejection of the evidence of possibility that men are disadvantaged.

And it's not rare.

Mary Koss, a professor who influenced many surveys and laws at many levels, refused to acknowledge the possibility that women can rape men.

Keep these things in mind as you study stats an the entity providing those stats.

TrainingGap2103 · 2025-06-15T16:46:14+00:00

I appreciate you asking the question, and I think the biggest issue is the gendered compassion gap (this is the bedrock of so many other big men's issues). In almost all of society, there is very little compassion for men's issues and the way men are impacted by them. Men's issues are usually only brought up if there's a way to blame men for them. Men are seen as being problems and women are seen as having problems. If the crux of a discussion of men's suffering is always about how men need to do better, how are men ever supposed to feel the warm glow of compassion (from at least mainstream society).

paulgrey506 · 2025-06-15T23:27:35+00:00

Have a look at this, ask whatever questions comes up to your mind, Ill answer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FathersKidsRights/s/1o7LAbAuwz

Fresh-Bet-7119 · 2025-06-16T05:31:32+00:00

Well I thought I was trans in 2018. I slowly came out to people behind scenes, and met a woman who wanted to date me regardless of whether or not I transitioned

I told her no sex because it gave me dysphoria. Well… on numerous occasions she would get me high and then slip it in. She was bigger than me and I do enjoy being somewhat of a bottom… but every time I asked her afterward please not to do it again. Often I would tell her to stop in the moment, and she would at least honor that

She did make it happen though repeatedly. I eventually grew tired of her pushing my boundaries so I broke up with her

As soon as I broke up with her, she tried to make it out like I had SA’d her

I lost my friends, I lost my job, I lost everything. I had to move because people were vandalizing my property. I had to move again a few times

I ended up in some pretty intense therapy and realized I had actually been SA’d because she consistently pushed my boundaries, despite me having frequent conversations with her about my hard limits. The state ended up paying for my therapy because I had two therapists both say I was definitely the victim of SA

However, not a single person in my personal life believes me

They all say I was pretending to be trans, as a form of mental gymnastics

They say I’m projecting on her

They say I’m lying

They say I’m abusive

My life has been utter hell for the past 3 and a half years since this happened

I struggle with suicide every day

I was SA’d and then accused (soft accusations, like no police involved) of the very crime that was committed on me

When I needed support more than ever, I was told to KMS

I was told I need to apologize to her

I was told I need to get help for a sex problem that I don’t have

Im a bottom and a submissive. I only like being pegged. I have zero desire for being dominant in a relationship

And when I stuck to my guns that I didn’t have violent desires, or controlling desires, my whole community adopted the belief that I’m in denial

My whole existence has been ripped to shreds

And no one believes me because I was assigned male at birth

Men need to be believed. I didn’t even identify as a man, but I know society sees me as one.

Someone needs to start a #mentoo movement because I wouldn’t be surprised if something like 50% of men have been abused and then been accused of horrible things after they breakup

DARVO is what all abusers do regardless of gender

Unfortunate for men though, is people believe all women

When an actually abusive man tries to say terrible things about a woman no one believes him. It doesn’t really bother women that much to have some random guy talking shit

But when a woman cries, no one bothers to think maybe she is using her absolute power to become absolutely corrupted

Anyways… thanks for coming to my TED talk

Ok_Afternoon_1494 · 2025-06-16T20:52:18+00:00

I think what gets ignored the most is the pressure that comes from women towards men (maybe not all of them, but a lot) to conform to traditional norms around “being a man”. As an example, I experienced my first girlfriend break up with me by telling me that I wasn’t man enough for her. These kinds of statements and gender expectations are inherently toxic imo, and I think they perpetuate toxic male gender norms, the same ones that feminists (and I’d say most women in general) are striving to fight against.

In summary/tldr: I think a lot of women want toxic masculinity gone, yet they still uphold many of the standards that perpetuate it. And I feel it is largely ignored, unknowingly at the least, and intentionally at the most.

Edit: also just wanted to say thanks for your concern in men. It means a lot to us.

Fraktalchen · 2025-06-17T11:34:39+00:00

One of the biggest struggle I see is that many men are forced to participate in cruel wars and are seen as expendible like male chickens in mass-animal farms (they are shredded alive straight after birth). Luckily I was born with one kidney so was exempted from military.

Having to participate in the military is not the issue in some countries as you get good solid education for free, some even get driving licenses paid and the quality of the training is excellent. However in most countries serving means death 90% of the time or at least you learn nothing/totally timewaste.

Then any relationship/interaction with a woman is a potential minefield which makes coorperation quite difficult when there is legal trouble looming over your head. (why I became gay, as the risks prevents me from any relationship with a woman).

Another thing is western government institutions like schools highly prefer woman as mentioned above see males as expendible. So the biggest problems men face are while at school which is why especially young males suffer the most.

LaoboZeus · 2025-07-02T14:18:16+00:00

You're a good girl, thanks for your talk. 🤝

ferrocarrilusa · 2025-07-07T22:43:33+00:00

The optics being prioritized over due process or rule of law in many cases of men doing "creepy" things

2025-06-13T19:58:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Novel-Werewolf-3554 · 2025-06-13T02:29:18+00:00

This question gets asked all the time on Reddit just use the search function

Title	I’m a girl trying to understand what men actually go through. So what gets ignored the most?
Author	No-Barber4003
Upvotes	140
Comments	239
Date	June 13, 2025 2:11 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1la4iue/im_a_girl_trying_to_understand_what_men_actually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-a-girl-trying-to-understand-what-men-actually.1554573 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554573

Comments