A few years ago, I went through a divorce that hit harder than I expected. I wasn’t just grieving the loss of the relationship—I was losing the roles I’d built my identity around: husband, protector, spiritual leader, provider.

The weirdest part? I’ve spent most of my career guiding other people through emotional and spiritual transformation. I’ve worked in hospice, sat with people in their final days, trained spiritual caregivers and psychotherapists, and developed curriculum on things like emotional regulation, shame resilience, somatic integration, and purpose-centered living.

But when it was my turn to fall apart, none of that gave me a roadmap.
I felt disoriented. Alone. Like the guy who always helped others suddenly didn’t know how to help himself.

The thing that helped most wasn’t theory—it was two men who met with me every week. No tools, no techniques. Just presence. They saw me when I couldn’t see myself. And slowly, that helped me start to rebuild.

Now, I’ve teamed up with another guy—Alex—who has a background in transformational coaching. We’ve been trying to create something for men who are in that in-between space—post-divorce, post-identity, not sure where life is going next. We’re testing out some free online circles right now. Nothing polished. Just a space to explore what actually supports real change.

We’re building it from everything we know—from the clinical to the spiritual to the personal—but I’m also aware we might be missing some things.

I think we have something special, but I feel like the more other men co-create with us, the clearer our mission gets.

So I’m genuinely curious:
If you’ve been through a divorce or major identity loss…
What actually helped?
What do men really need during that time?
What did you wish had been available to you?

Not pitching anything here. Just trying to listen better. Open to anything you'd share.