Modern open marriages debate

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-07-18T01:53:59+00:00

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Hard_Corsair · 2025-07-17T20:52:23+00:00

One of the hard truths in life is that no one really owns no one.

This isn't a hard truth for anyone with a healthy outlook.

SurroundWide447 · 2025-07-17T20:42:35+00:00

Open marriages are so exceedingly rare, I don't understand even bringing this up lol. 90 percent or more of society falls into serial monogamy and eventually just marrying.

ASnowfallOfCherry · 2025-07-17T20:58:57+00:00

Open marriages are suicide pacts in most cases

TubularBrainRevolt · 2025-07-17T20:52:26+00:00

I am sure that those types of relationships are an extreme minority. They just have a greater share of our attention because they are posted online. People who have open relationships, cuckold relationships and so on tend to be more progressive, urban and frequent users of social media.

procrast1natrix · 2025-07-17T20:54:09+00:00

While I anecdotally know of several marriages destroyed by dishonesty, I have seen non monogamy work out okay. Not for me, I wouldn't want to try it, it looks like a lot of work.

The only two stable long term examples I've seen both had women allowed to seek companionship beyond the primary, nesting relationship that held the kids, and in those examples the nesting partner seemed to stay home.

Not really seeing how the "Alfa beta" bullshit fits in there.

attendquoi · 2025-07-17T20:59:56+00:00

What exactly is up for debate?

I wouldn't be opposed to an open marriage, but I wouldn't tolerate it being one-sided.

iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj · 2025-07-17T20:51:36+00:00

Yeah don't do it. Everyone says they can separate sex from emotion but they can't and ended catching feeling. All the people I know who did it always ended in failure.

Colt_Master · 2025-07-17T21:38:16+00:00

Do you have experience within the lifestyle that backs up your ideas? Both about the alpha/beta thing, and couples in the lifestyle usually having heavily mismatched maturity levels?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-07-17T22:43:43+00:00

stop watching porn

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-07-17T23:35:03+00:00

LOL whats amusing about this thread is that its mostly guys saying that open marriages are "exceedingly rare" (TBF they are) and, from what I can see so far, at least two women seem to be advocating for open marriages/open to exploring them. Of course thats on the women's side of course.

TBH whilst I'm not in an open relationship, I have had sex with a number of women in hotwife/swinger/cuckold scenarios. A couple things I have learned.

The best way to do it is to be monogamous for a few years and then open up the marriage to other people. And, even then, its best if you keep it purely physical. Anytime I saw couples open up to new partners romantically, they were almost always doomed to fail.
Yes, there is very much an "alpha"/"beta" dynamic with couples who partake in this. ESPECIALLY if said open relationship is on "equal footing". When the man is not as willing to adhere to the AFBB dynamic he's almost always closeted and gets off on watching men have sex with his girlfriend/wife. Often to her chagrin. I have had women openly tell me that, if there was one thing they learned through swinging, it was that there was definitely the type of man who she wanted to have sex with and the type of man she wanted to date. They were often not the same. I had friends in scene tell me that repeatedly. Dont trust anyone gaslighting you by telling you otherwise. In my country, they literally ran a night (which still goes on to this day) called black mans fanclub. I used to attend myself and I can tell you, many of the men who women fraternised with looked nothing like the men they were in long term relationships with.
Open marriages are for people 35-40+, if you're thinking of exploring this younger than this, forget it, you're likely too stupid to realise you're not mature enough for that dynamic.
Something that women complained about repeatedly was how jealous women would get, in fatc many women claimed that women's jealousy was even worse than mens. Not sure how much I believe it, but it was interesting hearing the complaint come from women so often nonetheless.

leosandlattes · 2025-07-17T21:17:18+00:00

A man asking me for an open marriage is just asking me for permission to cheat, lol. I'd rather he just cheat at that point; I would respect it more than him asking for an open thing. Because once it is opened, I will never close it and probably ruin his entire life.

I am not sure what you are even trying to argue here. That you think open marriages are good?

Solondthewookiee · 2025-07-17T20:57:50+00:00

Now, what all these Open marriages, HotWife and Cuckold dynamic highlighted is that many women chose to be Sexual with Alfas and have a nesting partner as a beta.

Truly open marriages are rare, even among couples in the lifestyle.

Even among open marriages, ones with some kind of "alpha/beta" cuckold dynamic are very rare.

Even among alpha/beta cuckold open marriages, ones where the wife is not routinely having sex with the husband are very rare.

You're trying to draw some tortured conclusion about the long debunked existence of alphas and betas based on a fraction of a fraction of a fraction.

Odd_Quit_8905 · 2025-07-17T21:21:25+00:00

An open marriage is the most disrespectful thing to you, your partner, the person who officiated your wedding, your family, anyone who attended that wedding, god and your kids. You wasted their time, and you’re not married or in a life partnership, you’re sleeping around like a creep. No self respecting individual should ever consider this, if you want to sleep with someone who isn’t your spouse, then divorce your spouse. You don’t own your spouse, but you owe it to them to be as faithful to them as you should expect them to be to you.

As adults, you have to respect the institution of marriage, leave all that freaky stuff out, and try to make the best life you can for your family. There’s freedom in having and raising kids, and a whole lot else within marriage.

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throwaway73737828 · 2025-07-17T21:46:15+00:00

I dont get whats your whole point in this post but I will go off with the title, the idea of open marriage is more of a american and asian thing tbh, I never saw other than those regions being open to open marriages. For example where I live, if your wife tells you to lets be open, they would look like wtf is that, and when the men finds out, he would probably hurt his wife and divorce her ass. Where I live women do this shit secret rather than tell it to their husbands. In america and some part of asia small minority of group are requesting open marriages. They want the beta to provide and they want to get fucked by the attractive guy. And lets say the man fucks a woman in a open relationship, the women goes mad if she knows abt it, even if it is open relationship.

So open marriage is really about “I will fuck whatever guy I want, you on the other hand give your money to me when I ask and while I get fucked, you are not allowed to fuck or provide for another woman or I will cause trouble in your life” which no sane man would accept this, however there are men that wants to experience this which I will never understand it, they have a cuck fetish, but yeah thats why I said its a small minority of men.

Ive heard a story about a male pornstar, he said in the interview he gets requests to fuck the guys wife and they pay 50-70k for you to do it. And at the same time they beg for you to do it. Also he went to japan one time, and the shit he saw was crazy, dudes in their 30s-40s when they see him on street they want him to fuck their wife, they literally beg him to do it.

So my final point is, open marriage is retarded, open relationship is fine unless you are attached to the person. But yeah I give open marriage for a guys perspective a 0 out of 10 👍

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-07-18T00:06:42+00:00

What's the debate?

I think open marriage works for some people, but not others.

I want everyone to think what makes a marriage work. The amount of communication, compromise, and effort that has to come from both parties.

An open marriage will add an extra layer of communication, compromise and effort... And that's if both people are mutually happy with the decision to open. If one of those people is even slightly doubtful or forced into it.... It becomes a big minefield.

All those swinger couples, polyamory etc all essentially need everyone involved to be highly communicative, highly empathetic and the ability to be able to compromise, and the ability to navigate jealousy.

It's why poly gets a bad name is because not everyone is emotionally or mentally healthy enough to to be in an ethically nonmonogamous relationship.

You people think one relationship is hard? Involving more people just makes things harder

There are many ENM relationships that work. But they have to all be on the same page and fully honest with each other.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-07-18T00:18:03+00:00

I've only seen open marriages work with queer couples, never with straight couples.

Title	Modern open marriages debate
Author	Ok_Play4544
Upvotes	0
Comments	74
Date	July 17, 2025 8:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m2ilaj/modern_open_marriages_debate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/modern-open-marriages-debate.1557421 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557421

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