I don’t see any good reason why men and women, regardless of how they look, can’t have meaningful, lasting friendships with one another. Also, having friendships with different genders can be a very good thing.

YeaNobody · 2025-08-19T05:04:14+00:00

I'm pretty sure decent humans can do this....the ones muddying the waters can't have any kind of relationships with anyone.

MongoBobalossus · 2025-08-18T23:14:14+00:00

I mean, of course you can. Some of my oldest friends are women. My life would be poorer without them.

Fickle_Friendship296 · 2025-08-19T00:49:59+00:00

For one, you absolutely don't want an opposite gender friend for the sake of having an opposite gender friend. Friends are confidants, ppl you rely on and ppl you trust. Ppl you're compatible with.

They come in all shapes and sizes.

I don't necessarily go "oh, yes, I have 5 female friends." That means nothing to me. Perspectives between genders aren't even that drastic. However, society does treat men and women differently and these differences do have their own strengths and challenges, but that same thing can be said about individuals as well. In fact, I feel the latter is far more important than the former. We can all treat each other a little bit better if we get to know the INDIVIDUAL rather than the gender.

The best thing about life is complexity. Nothing is ever an even black/white thing, which is why I caution genderfying your relationships. You want enriching friendships, and that requires keeping an open mind and letting people just be themselves while you be yourself as well.

RelevantEscape4535 · 2025-08-19T03:33:47+00:00

It's true. I think the tougher question is can you be friends with someone you are attracted to and still keep it cordial.

StopTheIncels · 2025-08-18T23:56:07+00:00

You can absolutely have very close, deep, and meaningful relationships with the opposite gender AS LONG as there is no sexual attraction involved from either side.

Those who say otherwise are either coping or capping.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-08-19T13:51:37+00:00

Normal humans are perfectly capable of being friends with the opposite gender. Those with issues cannot. These same people project and will try to convince you that everyone is like them. Do not listen to them.

Trancetastic16 · 2025-08-19T05:39:40+00:00

Personally I’ve been attracted to every female friend I’ve ever had, even if they weren’t usually my type and I was focused on meeting and dating other women, and even though my crush usually fades, my physical attraction I developed does not.

Whenever I do have a partner, my attraction to anybody else completely fades…before returning in full force if we break-up.

Considering that it is good advice for your romantic partner to be your best friend, it’s clear that I would be capable of doing that if I had a female friend whom the attraction was ever mutual, but I don’t want to set-out to try and be friends with a woman just because I can’t do so in good faith without developing an attraction.

In my experiences one person being secretly attracted is the case within the vast majority of male-female friendships, according to research, usually the male, even if both would openly deny it, and they may still consider this a truly platonic friendship - but I do not.

It may be how some of us are wired, it may be from lack of experience, but I haven’t had a truly platonic female friendship no matter how much I wish that were the case.

So while I agree with the message, I’d rather wait for a woman whom is mutually attracted to befriend and date instead first, and then I’d be perfectly capable of meeting her friends afterwards to connect with platonically.

Perhaps that will change one day and depending on the women I meet, but I’d let that happen organically just like any of the other new friends or more I seek at social groups and events and not force it one just for the sake of it.

eternal_cuckold · 2025-08-18T23:54:26+00:00

I don't agree with somethings. There is trusting your partner and then there is blind trust. I would never be fine with my partner sleeping at a opposite sex friend house for example.

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dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-08-18T23:16:53+00:00

Divorced 60M. I don’t want to be in any relationship. I would like to have platonic friendships with women that are not “relationships”. I’d appreciate the perspective. Unfortunately, the only women I’m friends with are part of married couples I’m friends with.

Logos1789 · 2025-08-19T02:58:41+00:00

Most people socialize to find a partner, and to keep a partner, by not being a loser.

SexCrispies · 2025-08-19T11:56:38+00:00

I only have friendships with women i would fuck. But not because i want to fuck them. I just see no point in friendships with men and women who are not attractive, when i can have attractive friends. Why go for something less when you have the option for more?

3stun · 2025-08-19T14:55:14+00:00

The guys at Whatever podcast do this test, when they ask girls who claim their male friends are "jus' friends" and don't have any sexual urges toward them - to text those friends something flirty and suggestive. Most girls refuse, because deep down they know "jus' friends" can super easily turn into FWB.

Check this one, when one girl agreed to do the "test" and how it played out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb1RRa4nddY

It tells you everything you need to know about the subject, really.

No_Table_343 · 2025-08-20T02:18:08+00:00

you can totally have a platonic relationships with the apposite sex. idk why so many think of that as special.

maj_nun · 2025-08-23T01:27:40+00:00

Someone I know from France told me that the weird social segregation between men and women is a highly American/Canadian thing. Everyone he knows have highly mixed friend groups. Can any Europeans confirm or deny?

CarHungry · 2025-08-19T00:02:37+00:00

You can, and you can have sex with women you are friends with also. If you mean strictly nonsexual, I just don't see the point in it. I'm more of a results kind of guy tbh, and admittedly pessimistic, I don't understand why women make such a big deal out of these "friendships" unless they are in fact the beneficiaries of them. Which is fine it just isn't for me, but neither is commitment, I just simply cannot see living my life any other way at this point. I'm too old to wish on a twinkling star for a better world and just have to play the hand I'm dealt, like anyone.

Only_Excitement6594 · 2025-08-18T23:33:19+00:00

You don't see that.

GrouchNslouch777 · 2025-08-19T03:10:52+00:00

In literally any other walk of life if one group deems another group unfit to propagate their genetic line we rightly can conclude that those groups ain't and never can be friends.

Yet people will swear up and down that some woman who thinks the exact same of them....can be.

Humans are strange apes 4reel.

berichorbeburied · 2025-08-19T02:23:55+00:00

Friendships are not that important

Women are weird tbh on this topic. And I’ve just theorized that it’s an emotional thing. For people who love to cry and talk and be emotional and feel all the time. Mainly women

I have friends. I don’t feel fulfilled. I’m talking friends that will give me their last. Care. Check in on me. Do favors for me. Etc etc

Maybe I’m spoiled and I can’t see how beneficial it is. But I still don’t feel or think it’s that valuable

For survival? Yes. But I’m not Machiavellian rn. I’m answering the question on conceptual/philosophical/virtue basis

I’d just rather be around women I’m super sexually attracted to tbh. That fulfills me more. And makes me happy. And gives me the drive to go beyond my means/limits/etc.

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