I found this Reddit post where they ask divorce lawyers what is the most common reasons people get divorce in their experience. I thought it was interesting because we hear first hand accounts from people who work in family law on the reasons why marriages breakdown in their experience.

Note: This is from Reddit so some answers may not be truthful as with some anonymous comments online.

Still I thought it was valuable to share.

Never should have met much less gotten together to be honest, like a few of them I’ve seen where it really went wrong be it alcohol, kids for the wrong reasons etc., but by and large almost all of them seem like they were doomed from the jump

Rigidity. Mental health issues. Substance abuse issues. Rigidity is basically the situation in which one partner needs to have things their way and generally refuses compromise. This is generally the case with wealthier long term marriages IME. Money issues, kid issues, sexual or emotional incompatibility issues can usually be boiled down to rigidity. If two people are willing to work together and empathize and compromise, a disagreement about those things can usually be overcome to some degree. Even infidelity can sometimes be overcome if both people are willing to do the work and really meet each other where they are etc. rigidity, IMO, is what leads to the most high conflict divorces

After over a decade of family law - it is usually financial issues, but more in the way that people don’t ever talk about how to handle money before they get married and that leads to a breakdown of the relationship. Or they never discussed how to handle money once they had kids.

And also two people that never should have gotten married in the first place - so often I hear what was going on at the beginning of a relationship and I’m like….and why did you marry this person?

Married super young. Both people change over time and they don’t like how each other have grown. Sorry might be projecting a little on this one.

I've been a divorce lawyer for 15 years. People get divorced for one of five reasons:

Someone does something very stupid with the money and loses all/most of it. Someone has a severe, untreated mental health problem (schizophrenia, BPD, NPD, and bi polar disorder are the ones I see most often). (Or maybe 2(a)) Someone has a severe, untreated addiction. A child gets a life altering or limiting illness. One of the spouses gets a life altering or limiting illness. I'd say 95% of cases fall into one of these five reasons. "We grew apart" is very rare. People hold onto their marriages for dear life. It takes a lot for them to let go.

Oh also it's almost never cheating. Cheating is a symptom, not the cause.

I see the following most frequently.

Alcohol and drug use. Some form of mental illness by one of the parties. And this is a new top reason. People getting married for immigration purposes, whether they admit it to their selves or not in the beginning. > There is also no shortage of immigration fraud marriages. People just growing tired of each other. They're not really wired to be married to someone for life. Infidelity. However, this is usually a result of the other reasons above. Money problems. However, it seems to me that most people will work their way through money issues together if they do not have one of other problems above also. I am typing this on my phone at the gym. Please excuse any typos.

Do any of these reasons match what you have seen irl?