Something seems to come back often in my discussion with redpillers or blackpillers: when I ask what they did in their lives to actually change and evolve on a mental level.

Some redpillers will say "I went to therapy then stopped because I thought it was useless slop"; that's pretty much it. Redpillers do not seem to believe in healing, or in any other therapeutical process for that matter.

There are many ways to heal from trauma apart from "classic" therapy. Some people find healing in intensive meditation, some people use psychedelic substances, some people go on long lonely retreats or travels, some people just learn to cultivate forgiveness, kindness and a positive attitude...

Even beyond healing from trauma, there are many ways to evolve on a psychological level and become a different, better version of yourself. I feel like I've been a dozen different people through my life and as I evolved my ability to start and maintain happy and healthy relationships have been only increasing.

But I don't see any such transformative experiences in redpillers. I don't see any kind of deep change happening, or deep betterment of the self. It's always "Going to the gym and getting muscles" - which, don't get me wrong, is usually a great idea, but that's like adding some varnish on your table without treating the wood under.

On the physical level, there is also much more to hotness and charm than just being fit and dressing with clothes your size.

So my question is this: What did you do to work on your mental issues, your insecurities, your trauma, your possible bitterness? What did you actually do to develop your charm, your attractiveness "beyond the gym"?

In other words, what did you do to actually evolve and become a better person?