Pair bonding a lot actually increases your ability to pair bond. Being on this subreddit might be damaging your ability to pair bond.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-09-14T10:12:59+00:00

100% agree I know ladies who have banged 500+ guys and they are now married all long term

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-09-14T12:34:28+00:00

I'd mostly agree, but there is one key distinction I want to make.

Yes, how it ends is important, but not only for the reasons you're specifying.

There are people who get bored with being with the same person for too long. The breakup may be amicable, but the "this is becoming too much the same" aspect, if practiced, can absolutely be damaging to one's ability to pair-bond.

So I agree that how it ends is more important than how it begins, with a few qualifiers that NEED to be mentioned (which will count as 'debating' you) here:

Any cheating done by the partner whose ability to pair-bond is being discussed. This is a major red flag. In some circumstances (abuse, neglect, can't leave) it can be overlooked, but if it's occurred multiple times with different partners, it's a major issue. And nobody who has ever been cheated on should take the cheater back. Their fitness for others is something that individual considering being with them need to individually evaluate.
People who continue to end otherwise good relationships due to boredom or curiosity about others.
People who have an inability to stop having crushes that they feel compelled to act on while in relationships, regardless of whether or not they actually cheat or end the relatonship. As the saying goes, you can look, but you shouldn't act...and you partner should still be attractive to you. There's a healthiness in acknowledging this, but expressing that there's no desire behind it. I see attractive women all the time, despite being married. I appreciate their looks, though I'm not going to act on it, or compliment them, or otherwise do anything in violation of my vows. If my wife ever asks me about another woman, I'll bluntly say I like her looks (to my wife only), but that's also in the context of a relationship where I tell my wife I like her looks every day and am very physically affectionate with her, so she never has cause to doubt me. I'm also not following random thirst traps on instagram, or gooning to porn when I should be sleeping with her.
Speaking of, people who have issues around porn that complicate or deny intimacy with their partners.
Detaching sex from emotions to the point where it doesn't mean anything anymore. Even hookups can still mean something: "you're hot, this is fun, this would never work as a relationship, let's enjoy this while it lasts." If that atmosphere is lost, and it becomes like a drug "my body needs this, you're good enough and here, let's go" ability to pair bond is damaged.
And finally, as you said, people who can't break up amicably who end up resenting an entire gender because of their ex, or treat other men as if they've committed the transgressions the ex has committed.

IMO those are the situations that damage ability to pair-bond. It's broader than you're giving it credit for, but you're on the right track.

Hence why 'n-count' in and of itself isn't a predictor of abiltiy to pair-bond, as what matters isn't the trend, but the unique circumstances around it for each person.

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-09-14T17:46:53+00:00

The studies really say different. But, if it works for you, great!

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-09-14T08:30:48+00:00

No, doesn't matter how good your break up is, you are stil tearing the bond. There are also brain chemicals involvolved and if you break it next time your body in order to protect itself from future damge can release less bonding chemicals. Even if you stay friends the bond is broken, the damage is done. For both genders. I believe in most cases it can still heal especially with the right person. But still it's better to start clean than having to pay a debt.

You can't be universally good at sex, sex is about chemistry, not technique. You can only be good at sex with that one specific person and it will not work the same with the next person.

ViolentShallot · 2025-09-14T09:56:25+00:00

Divorces aren't "good things". They are tragedies and among the biggest failures an average person can have.

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Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2025-09-14T22:43:22+00:00

Buddhism sounds incredibly toxic.

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-09-15T19:49:43+00:00

Super wrong. First of all "The more you have sex & the more people you have sex with, the better you get at sex. This is well-known." is based on what? Links your sources.

More importantly, the rice analogy is horrible. It's not like cooking rice, it's more like cooking for one person. And in that sense, yes, the more you cook for one person the more you can call yourself a chef for that person. And being able to cook for other people or having cooked a meal or two for some random people in the past definitely doesn't make you a better chef for a given person.

Luhgeekerrr · 2025-09-14T08:33:01+00:00

Men just love to have a say about a woman’s anything. Especially her pair bonding because they don’t want to compare themselves to her past. Insecurity at its finest.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-09-14T07:09:28+00:00

At first I even wanted to agree with the post until I saw that it was trolling and...

>It's not really about how many people you loved or how many people you broke up with.

Well, this kind of contradicts your idea, because if it is important who and how became offended by life, then isn't it also important the number of times it happened? It's literally a multiplier of the bitterness effect

And... Does the amount of hours spent here also have an effect? I want to understand how much my pair bond is damaged, because I'm not a regular user of reddit, so I hope I still have a chance

B__funk · 2025-09-14T16:28:37+00:00

Just like anything else, use it or you lose it

DiligentRope · 2025-09-14T07:13:27+00:00

You're throwing this term around without knowing what it means.

Its like with friends, if new people keep coming into your life and constantly leaving, it becomes harder and harder to make closer connections with new people, often why older people find it difficult to make close friends.

When it comes to pair bonding its also different between men and women, because sex has a greater effect on pair bonding with women. This is why men can have sex with multiple women and still come back to their main girl, whereas women can't.

SteveSan82 · 2025-09-14T07:04:31+00:00

The more men a woman has been with the harder it is for a woman to pair bond. It’s a biological fact . Lying to women is only going to doom them to loneliness or in abusive relationships.

Women and men are very different in how they view sex and relationships. Stop hurting women with lies

Title	Pair bonding a lot actually increases your ability to pair bond. Being on this subreddit might be damaging your ability to pair bond.
Author	autistic_cool_kid
Upvotes	0
Comments	175
Date	September 14, 2025 6:59 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ngkds6/pair_bonding_a_lot_actually_increases_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/pair-bonding-a-lot-actually-increases-your-ability.1561947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561947

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