What is your probabilities?

half_avocado33 · 2025-10-30T20:58:16+00:00

I was fine single before meeting my husband. I wasn't desperate for a relationship, actually had been single for a while before meeting him.

Good relationship > single > bad relationship

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-30T21:06:04+00:00

I'd rather be single than lower my standards.

I had a great life while single. My husband is great but he's not some silver bullet that made my life full of color or whatever.

My life was enjoyable before he came along. And if we weren't compatible, I'd still have an enjoyable life.

Personally, I'm not interested in vetting 100 men. I'd rather narrow that down to 10 or less.

I was only looking for 1 guy. Not 100 guys.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-10-30T20:45:36+00:00

Impossible to tell, and useless anyway. I will either find a good partner, or I won't. Either way, I can make a satisfactory life for myself.

Your example doesn't make any sense. I don't have any people lined up for me. I'm either interested in them, and they've turned me down, which is why I'm not currently dating them, or I'm not interested in them/we're not compatible.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-10-30T23:07:14+00:00

I don’t actually give a fig what my “probabilities” are. What possible difference would that make?

The question is am I happier with a specific man or without him. I chose whichever leads to my greater happiness. That’s it, it’s that simple.

As it stands, I’m pretty darned happy by myself and have been for 5+ years now and don’t have any reason to want to change that, so the bar for me to want to get involved with a man is pretty high. The “probabilities” of that occurring are likely very low and have literally zero impact on the outcome 🤷‍♀️.

Frankly even if Chad McSiverfoxypants fell out of the sky clutching a bouquet of lilacs and a basket of crispy bacon, landed on a ladder and started cleaning my gutters while serenading me I’d probably thank him and ask him to leave the bacon on the porch and go away 🤣.

AchingAmy · 2025-10-30T20:17:08+00:00

My probability is really low. I'm an ace lesbian who would only date other ace woman-loving-women. Asexuals are like 1% of the population, and then wlw aces would probably put that number to like 0.25%-0.33%.* So my dating pool is tiny. And that's before accounting for personality traits I'm looking for in a partner. I'm lucky to have found a girlfriend that meets what I was looking for though

*It's only that high because most aces are women, and we have higher instances of being homoromantic or bi/panromantic than the general population too. 89% of aces were assigned female at birth[1], which I find unsurprising and then just under 2/3 identify as women. [2] The apparent disparity is because aces are also more likely to be trans or nonbinary than the general population. I'd be fine with dating women, transfem, or afab nonbinary people who don't transition with testosterone. So, idk exactly where that puts my dating pool, hence I gave a probable range.

Gilmoregirlin · 2025-10-30T20:21:33+00:00

If you accept living in a non-romantical and non-sexual lifestyle, how long you think self-love and life-goals gonna keep you satisfied?

For life my friend for life.

amethyst-ice · 2025-10-30T21:50:08+00:00

It's impossible to conceptualize really. I think the statistics are only helpful when people are looking for very rigid and rare things, like green eyes or being 6'5 or earning $200k. I always knew I wanted someone "intelligent" but it's not like I had a fixed intelligence level I was seeking or a way of measuring it.

I'm married and I was looking for some quite niche things that in theory would make my odds low...but I also knew I'd be very compatible with someone who had those things, and that I would be more likely to run into them through the circles I moved in than if I just lined up random Tinder dates.

Sorryimjustsaying · 2025-10-30T22:08:32+00:00

Self-love and life goals keep me satisfied whether I'm in a relationship or not. I have things I want to accomplish, being in another long term relationship would be a nice companion while I work towards my goals but it has never been THE goal.

Romance/sex to me are side benefits that life can offer, but I'm here to explore/challenge my interests, abilities, and what the world offers. That's the "meaning" for lack of a better term. I've enjoyed when I have had someone to share all that with, but crucially, I'm doing it either way.

stockingsinrainboots · 2025-10-30T20:52:09+00:00

Personally I haven't struggled with good options, so I am not single. If I didn't meet the right person however I wouldn't mind being single. A romantic relationship isn't a requirement for happiness.

Rule_Number_7 · 2025-10-30T21:33:17+00:00

I don’t think my standards/preferences will be the bigger ‘issue’. My age/late start in dating and the fact that I’m an introvert who doesn’t like socializing are likely going to be the bigger set backs. Then again, I could get lucky. Never know. (Someone who knows tech really needs to make a dating app for those of us who struggle socially. Then I at least wouldn’t have to weed out all the extroverted, very social types!)

“If you accept living in a non-romantical and non-sexual lifestyle, how long you think self-love and life-goals gonna keep you satisfied?”

That one depends. If I fail when it comes to a relationship, and my attempt at single parenthood via IVF also fails, I don’t think there will be much acceptance. If I fail romantically but manage to have a baby, then while I’ll still wish I had a partner, I can still be ok as long as I get to be a mom.

attendquoi · 2025-10-30T21:27:19+00:00

Just a guess, but I'd say that maybe 10% of men meet my standards. And I married one.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-30T21:28:01+00:00

Right now odds of me finding a man for LTR is close to 0. But i am an outlier in my criteria. Short term depens. If it’s a relationship, just short one then still close to 0, if it’s friends with benefits it depends on where i am. I have no idea what to count as a pool, matches, dates? Usually 1 in 30 dates could be suitable. That is usually 1 in 200 matches.

I’m not lowering my standards because it’s just not works this way. I know men think that women just born with innate standards but no. Some of them come from experience, or self reflection, so now i know i need that. Some i tried to compromise before but well now i wont. Some are there because they just reflect what i want and its pointless without them. If I hadn’t have experience on compromising them i might think that i should, but no, being alone is more healthy.

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AngeAware · 2025-10-31T01:22:24+00:00

I dated within a unique niche (trad Christians) which can be very easy or very difficult depending on the environment. Anywhere from 0 to 100% based on that

When I went to undergrad in a more liberal part of the U.S. dating was a lot harder. Lots of men at least initially interested but ran into a lot of compatibility issues in terms of religion and abstinence. Bible Belt suburbs? Cakewalk. Met my SO completely at random at a bookstore months after I graduated and moved back to the Bible Belt.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-10-31T10:45:36+00:00

I was quite happy while single. And I'm happy in a LTR. But I'm certainly not going to be any happier looking at 100(!) men. That's just not going to happen. I'd be happy single rather than make myself miserable like that.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-10-31T05:16:47+00:00

Low probability for STR.

Probability almost at 0 for LTR.

My pattern is to find a man I'm attracted to and meets my standards and get in a relationship with him with 2-4 years gaps in time. So that's low probability for STR.

For LTR it's even lower as in maybe 2 potential guys that I would have considered for a true LTR status in 15 years .

If I can't find what I'm looking for I and my choices were leave dating pool or lower standards I would rather leave the dating pool. As of now what I do is instead live and enjoy all the other parts of life but remain open to relationships/romance.

They just become like a old hobby where u don't throw out instruments bc I enjoyed it and might likely take it up again but I didn't enjoy it enough to make it a priority in my life.

I'm using LTR to mean more than 2 years and intentionally uniting and building a future together.

STR to mean less than 2 year And just getting along and going along together but not a part of the priorities for making decisions in each others life.

I think self-love and life-goals are gonna keep me satisfied for a long time and if not I have back up plans.

Novadina · 2025-10-31T07:15:34+00:00

The probabilities didn’t matter to me, I would only want someone I am compatible with, or not have a relationship at all. There are a lot of people on this planet, even if only a small percentage of guys are suitable that’s still millions of people. Hell, just the normal requirements of an age range and being single makes it a small percentage. A bad relationship sounds terrible to me, much worse than being single. At least while single I could still find a partner eventually, why would I take myself off the market for a bad match and make myself miserable. I wasn’t miserable when single.

I never had anyone “lined up for a relationship”, much less 100 men! But I didn’t find it took a terribly long time to find a good guy with my standards, I got with my husband when I was 23.

Title	What is your probabilities?
Author	Master-Praline3326
Upvotes	0
Comments	54
Date	October 30, 2025 8:04 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1oka5ho/what_is_your_probabilities/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-probabilities.1565380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565380

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