War

ozdomguy · 2025-12-28T06:07:48+00:00

Stay strong and yes treat it like business or a game? Either way you have to win or pay more!!

It isn’t fair or just, the system is rigged against you as a man.

OwlFarmLurker · 2025-12-27T19:02:02+00:00

I won my war. Full custody of four kids, no child or spousal support. She got a lot of money and none of the responsibility. But the trash is to the curb and gone. And there ain’t even a whiff left.

IAmTheBS · 2025-12-27T16:53:26+00:00

Similar boat. I pushed hard to keep us together after my WS decided to have fun with her coworker in an Airbnb that I paid for. We're at 7 months post-Dday. All contact was cut. Lost the job. Lost respect from those around us.

The WS is still here we both tried to leave and both of us found our way back into the home

I don't want to go to war even though their actions fired first. I don't want to separate my kids , destroy our finances, forced to move.

Honestly, that sounds worse to me than the thought of my WS hooking up with someone else

NewDay0110 · 2025-12-27T05:11:39+00:00

You got the right mindset to survive this. I don't think these women understand the big picture of what they've done - they just think in terms of entitlement. Unfortunately, it often works in their favor with the system we have. I hope you don't get hit with alimony - in some states like Illinois 20 years is enough to quality for lifetime alimony.

DaddysPrincesss26 · 2025-12-27T04:21:33+00:00

SAHM is the worst and most expensive Divorce, TBH

TxAlive · 2025-12-27T03:55:09+00:00

Stay strong. I’m going on 3 months since she told me she wanted a divorce, and we are still in the same house, 2 kids (10/12), and she’s been a different person than I married. I’m doing my best to stay strong to show the kids how an adult works through adversity

Corpus1965 · 2025-12-27T02:24:07+00:00

Expedite the divorce brothet.

Dull-Hornet7899 · 2025-12-27T00:38:24+00:00

Bro it feels like I wrote this . Are you me? I’m going through the he same shit right now. 4 kids 20 years. She decided to invite her family over to get drunk and watch movies on my tv last night. I got petty and disabled the internet on the tv. I need to avoid the petty shit and get to the finish line. Grey rock

NotYours25 · 2025-12-27T00:14:54+00:00

Stay stoic. Do not relent. You’re doing things the right way.

I’m 4 years out and 3 years to go until the youngest is 18. I made many mistakes along the way. The one thing I told myself early on is that I would never put our kids in the middle. She has manipulated everything and everyone and has made our lives a living fucking hell since we separated in early 2022. I cannot wait for the day I no longer have to have legal contact with her. It’s taken almost 46 months but our kids are finally starting to see what a destructive and selfish human being she is.

UnknownUsername113 · 2025-12-26T21:44:46+00:00

Keep that up. But, if she’s decent during the divorce then I would go back to remembering that she’s the mother of your kids and you once’s cared deeply.

My divorce was easy as far as financials and kids went. Tough mentally and emotionally. We’re now at the point where we can be some type of friends. She invited me to thanksgiving (knows I don’t have family) but seeing as how she’s married to the man she cheated on me with, I politely declined while also laughing a bit.

fixanymarriage · 2025-12-26T19:44:37+00:00

Sounds like you're still married and she's still living in the house. If so, it's pretty easy to fix your marriage, but you have to do the right things. And you won't get good advice from 90% of the guys here. Most of them are extremely hurt, bitter, and can't see right from wrong.

Here's how to fix things:

Switch from cold, calculated, and documented to warm-stoic, calculated, and documented. The only difference is "cold" to "warm-stoic". And you still have your bases covered with the "calculated and documented".
Make sure you have your act together. Be responsible in your work, in your duties at home, never raise your tone, take leadership in everything, set boundaries including, and especially, for her, etc.
Want her the way you did when you first started dating, but don't need her. Ask her on dates, understand her, listen to her feelings, understand her feelings/emotions and where she's coming from. Always keep a stronger frame than her (think and be "stoic").

It sounds simplistic, but really that's the key to winning and keeping any woman. As a woman, she still WANTS you, even now. You have that going for you always. She wants to be wanted by you, she wants your attention. And she needs a stoic man that takes leadership and understands her. If you understand her crazy emotions and if you maintain a strong emotional frame, her heart will open up to you again.

If you have questions on specifics, I'd be happy to answer.

thraxx171 · 2025-12-26T19:37:05+00:00

Yes focus your energy now, don't relent. She would watch you burn and honestly most need to learn the harsh realities of the adult world. Wishing you all the best in your victory brother.

StinkyButt_McStinkin · 2025-12-26T19:23:56+00:00

All texts are potential court documents. I journal every night about my involvement with the kids and how I spend time with them, take them to school, Dr. appointments.

We’ve settled into a calm, I won’t escalate if you don’t escalate way of communicating, but to be honest I use chatGPT to analyze text messages and advice on how to respond. I assume that every text might be used against me. And I assume she is doing the same with me. I’m sure ChatGPT is giving her advice on how to screw me. War is a good description.

koskesh122 · 2025-12-26T19:02:32+00:00

Well bud, join the club.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
90% of custody awarded to mothers.
False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

Title	War
Author	showing13up
Upvotes	53
Comments	49
Date	December 26, 2025 6:54 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pwbuyg/war/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/war.1569731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569731

Comments