Men with high bodycount. Your experience?

seduction-ModTeam · 2026-04-20T13:52:46+00:00

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MaraSalamanca · 2026-04-20T10:33:20+00:00

30yo male with a 100+ bodycount.

I wouldn’t say that I lost my ability to pair bond, but maybe it gets harder as I have more comparison points and it’s hard for me to find someone truly special.

I can still get crushes and I would love to settle down with someone I have good alchemy with.

Sex isn’t something that special to me but I still enjoy and even prefer slow, romantic sex over more « performative » sex if I may call it that.

If I could go back in time and do things differently, I don’t think I would change anything in terms of bodycount honestly.

It has made me fairly confident in dating and sex, so I suppose I’m less likely to screw things up with a future potential partner.

But also, I don’t think you need a 100+ bodycount to feel any of the things I’ve described. I probably started feeling the same way even with a bodycount of 20 or 30.

If anything, I would also say that the potential bonding problems are probably not a consequence of a high bodycount but rather the reason for a high bodycount.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2026-04-20T09:30:27+00:00

My body count is considered "high" compared to the average but it's really not that high if you ask me

I have noticed two major things change that came with the higher count

First thing is sex isn't as fun as it used to be. Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy it. But it's not special to me anymore. I've become desensitized towards it.

I can get a one night stand really easily. My game is really good for both day and night game. It's easy for me to approach any random woman and start talking and flirting with her.

That's really about it.

If I had a girlfriend I'd try to stay loyal. If we broke up I feel like I wouldn't be super sad and would have the mentality of just getting another one.

eat_clit_and_cry · 2026-04-20T08:52:48+00:00

I have a fairly high body count. I´d say that the couple of long, highly invested relationships have much rather had that effect than the casual hookups. Each relationship has had me drained and I´ve inadvertently raised my standards higher after each one, which is only normal but it makes me less and less open to sharing my house, my intricate life with someone. I value total freedom more and more.

The casual hookups have not had a very deep effect on the way I feel about bonding with a potential soulmate as they´ve simply been, well, casual. Very little emotional investment.

Emotional-Style5275 · 2026-04-20T10:35:33+00:00

Mine is pretty high. I was a virgin until I was 17, and I was atrocious with women before that. I got a lot of confidence going to college, women came to me and I made the most of it, I was pretty consistent after that, I then had an LTR that lasted 12 years. A lot of the time during it I’d really long for the more casual flings, but I never stepped out - I knew it was a grass is greener type thing Split up about 5 years ago now and I’ve really made the most of being single. I’ve had two occasions where I’ve met someone who I thought I could have something more with, but I get bored way too easily and I find relationships way too restrictive. Once you realise you don’t need a relationship, it’s really empowering. I’m in my forties, so I appreciate it’s a lot about age, but i find women close in age to me are way too quick to get serious. For a lot of them it’s about the desire of a situation and not an individual. I think there’s a lot of truth to what’s being said, but I think it’s about an evolution of mind too, I’m happier now than I was when I was in the last few years of my LTR, but there are times I yearn for it, or maybe I yearn more for a time when I was younger, less cynical about the world etc.

antonthecad · 2026-04-20T09:59:26+00:00

I definitely still really like girls but I also just put up with less bullshit. Where one guy might think "oh I can't get a girl like this again" and put up with some crap, I don't really care. There are so many great women out there so when one of them does something questionable I'm more likely to not put up with it. No one is perfect and people have their moments but patterns are important.

Do you lose your soul? I would say it depends. I have definitely been through phases where I've just been bored of chasing women, found myself literally just bored during sex and not particularly enjoying the experience. Sex with someone you care about and connect with is better (obviously) but at the same time I think you lose some of your soul in a relationship too. It's a difficult situation.

I would like to "settle down" eventually but I'm not in a rush and I've just rediscovered the thrill of flirting and getting about a bit. I don't want to be chasing women at 50 that's for sure. I want to go and live somewhere in peace with some great memories.

djdante · 2026-04-20T10:01:42+00:00

It's absolute rubbish - there is not even any science to speak of behind the theory.

The reverse however does hold - that some men have real struggles pair bonding and as a result of this end up living a life full of one night stands.

But as a man well in the triple digits, I got married last year and three years into the relationship have had no need to chest and no struggle bonding.

MoreSnowMostBunny · 2026-04-20T11:49:09+00:00

I've got a body count like Ive fought a small war. And no, its not a mark of manliness or pride.
Its agonizing. Sad.

My only advice is never ignore personality disorder red flags; learn them. Be vigilant. Always find out how bad their daddy issues are and what that looks like.

Never, ever get a stripper pregnant.

Most importantly; when you find a good woman who loves you, let her. Be good to her. Settle your restlessness; put your weapon away. Trust me. I cannot emphasize how critically important this can be.

There are L's you don't come back from.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-20T11:31:02+00:00

It's deeply individual.

For me - it's not been an issue at all. I have been able to connect deeply and have profound long-term relationships multiple times. And I also enjoy casual sex from time to time. Hence I'm always in an open relationship. Best of both worlds baby

Infamous_Anonyman · 2026-04-20T11:43:03+00:00

I used to think i was bad at pair bonding, with a confirmed 194 bodycount (unofficial early 210's?) I'm 35M by the way.

But until recently i met an awesome woman and we hit it off.

Honestly? I don't regret having a high number as i had fun and learned a LOT about what i like and dislike in a woman. In my experience being with a woman who truly loves you and makes your awesome life even more awesome is worth more than 100+ different women for a short period of time.

Do i miss the chase? Sure. Do i miss the excitement of a new body? Sure.

But in the end it's just more of the same without the actual depth that makes a relationship worth it.

JackSquirts · 2026-04-20T12:00:45+00:00

Yes and no. It seems to happen way more with women than with men, I think for a few reasons. Simple biology makes sex much more risky for women than men. Men can pump, dump, walk away and there's no repercussions personally. Women get pregnant. That puts them in a compromised position physically for 9 months, then they have a baby who relies on them for survival for the next year or two at pure minimum. Then they can go to basically anyone for the rest of the rearing. Effective contraception, formula, etc are very modern things and that wiring is harder to unwind.

That's probably also why women have a much stronger emotional connecting with sex. They might be taking care of that man's genes for the next few years so it's important to have a connection. Playing loose here, but that's my theory.

The other thing is that orgasm is pretty much guaranteed for us. It's certainly not for women. We likely came during the worst sex of our lives, whereas a lot of women may not have cum during their best - but maybe one guy got way closer than the others. We all have a highlight reel, but sex for us is simply more even keel. We can rattle off our best sex partners, but we don't usually obsess over them indefinitely. They're a great memory we rarely think about (as time goes on). The female pleasure puzzle is so much more complex than ours, their best sticks with them - for a long, long time. Maybe forever. We compare loosely - body parts, enthusiasm, etc. It's how she acted, looked, etc. Women do that too, but add in how he made her feel - emotionally and physically. We basically forget with every new partner and they compare compare compare. The more they have to compare to, the less special the new ones are unless they take top status. And the more there are, the less likely they are to achieve that position.

For me personally, I don't have any problems bonding aside from past relationship trauma. Sex is irrelevant. However, if I'm in a casual mindset and trying to bang out everything with a pussy in a 75 mile radius, I'll overlook a good woman for the next score. Even if I'm looking for something real but having a lot of casual sex, I've noticed everything is filtered through that lens first. It's only after I've blown things up that I look back and go, "fuck, she was totally girlfriend material and I couldn't see it." That realization usually comes after I decide to calm my nuts and stop fucking around with so many women. So it's not that I can't bond, it's that my brain isn't looking for it. All of my LTR's came after I stopped chasing pussy and really just stopped looking for women in general. Then I meet someone and I'm not just thinking eyes, smile, ass, titties, wonder what her butthole tastes like - I'm also thinking, hey this chick's pretty cool.

LovelyRoseBoop · 2026-04-20T09:20:09+00:00

They don’t change your ability to bond, they change your ability to see women as people outside of sex. You’ll care about whether she is into your fetish and your d more than intellectual resonance because you will be only know how to look for that. it’s hard to search for two criteria at once. 99.9% of women will seem like defective sex dolls and the remainder won’t be into you/intellectually compatible.

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-04-20T11:18:00+00:00

My body-count is in the 30s. The vast majority of those were women I really liked, and a few were women I loved. A few were just a mistake — the ones where I had to reason myself into it.

I met a woman in my early thirties, and we’ve been together over ten years, now. Definitely no trouble pair-bonding. We have an extraordinary relationship, with two kids and amazing sex and everything. I was always good at pair bonding, though. Dating gave me a chance to learn about my desire and compatibility with different sorts of women. And my wife is, truly, the best woman I could have possibly married, for me

Pitiful-Point2264 · 2026-04-20T12:02:43+00:00

I have a really high body count. Been sleeping around a lot but I feeling like I’m falling in love with someone this week. Kinda scary remembering how I was in love the last time and got cheated on.

Knoxfield · 2026-04-20T12:36:59+00:00

It's fun and yeah it can make you feel amazing. All these women want a piece of you and it's so intoxicating.

I think it's good to experience different women, their perspectives and preferences.

But the downsides is that realistically, some of the women you spend time with will catch feels. Even if they promised they wouldn't. And it's not a great feeling to hurt people (even if you didn't intend to).

You also lose a lot of time you could otherwise spend with your family and friends. It takes so much time planning dates, chatting to new girls on apps, chasing, trying to fit multiple girls in a week because you're greedy. It's really mentally and physically exhausting.

Warm_Pineapple9440 · 2026-04-20T09:12:19+00:00

Hmm, I usually view it from the other perspective. The emotionally and psychologically healthy people, who had a good childhood and are able to build and keep healthy relationships simply pair up fairly quickly and rarely break up, thus their bodycounts never really grow.

So having a higher body count is more the effect than the cause.

Davus_P · 2026-04-20T11:17:23+00:00

Correlation is not causation. It's more likely that those without a strong pair-bonding affinity will end up having a high body count, not the other way round.

Deivsquare · 2026-04-20T11:21:29+00:00

My body count is considered fairly high, both compared to the average and considering my physical appearance (I’ve been relatively overweight my whole life). That said, if you divide the number by the “years of activity,” it’s actually not that high (just to give you an idea, 50+ — I stopped counting, but it’s definitely over 60 — and I’m turning 32 this year). It’s a lot, but proportionally it’s not that many per year.

That being said, I can tell you that sex isn’t even that special anymore, or some kind of goal — it’s just something that happens, and often quite quickly. Which is pretty ironic, considering that what I really want is a serious relationship, almost to the point of a Disney stereotype. It’s much, much, much easier to find a hookup than someone genuinely interested in dating you, unfortunately.

One thing I always say when this topic comes up is that I would gladly trade half — maybe even more — of those experiences for a single long-term, meaningful relationship lasting years. Sometimes people seem almost “jealous” of my body count, but I always talk about it with the vibe of a bitter, retired cop at a bar, downing whiskey — if you get the metaphor.

VirtualOutsideTravel · 2026-04-20T11:48:21+00:00

Male here. well for me as im getting older, its not really about the count but the standard. Probably i could find 3 tonight but the standard is lower but the count is up.

CalmEntrepreneur884 · 2026-04-20T11:53:13+00:00

For me, a high body count made me realize that cheating is pretty dumb because all women are 99.9% similar when it comes to sex. The only differences in women are their shapes, sizes, and scent. Basically how they impact your 5 senses

throwaway-research1 · 2026-04-20T12:12:06+00:00

True in my personal experience, my body count 100+ or even upto 200, I have no idea, now I am in my early thirties and I feel like its so difficult to commit to one person, which I think is also pretty expected, when you keep doing the same thing over and over again it loses its value

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-04-20T12:56:22+00:00

My bodycount is in the mid triple digits. Age 37.

I think that's bullshit.

Throughout all of human history people have concocted religious and spiritual reasons to dissuade others from procreating.

It comes from hunter-gatherer times when the tribe was small and so were your opportunities to mate. So if you could successfully dissuade others from spreading their genes to the next generation, it would raise your chances of doing so.

In the modern day we don't live in tribes anymore and that's no longer true. But the instinct is still there.

I will say that the more girls you sleep with the more you learn about yourself and what you do and don't like, and what seeming connection is actually just your trauma and her trauma meshing together vs. something that's coming more from the whole person.

I think people who don't have a lot of sexual or relationship experience can't tell the difference and often get saddled to the first person who gives them woo-woo feelings regardless of where they're coming from.

Only once you experience variety will you know you're selecting the right one. For me, I haven't settled down yet and there have been 2 or 3 girls (out of literally hundreds) who I felt "got away", because I had made the conscious choice at that point not to look for that life.

I still think about those girls tbh.

But they taught me that by the law of averages the more you keep dating, the more you keep getting options for yourself and "spinning plates" even though I hate that term, eventually one will come along who is above-and-beyond and you can either choose to see where it goes with her, or like I did, let her go.

But if you don't first come from a place where you have a lot of options and date a lot of women, there is a high likelihood you're forming a pair bond out of desperation, trauma, or just naivety.

Charlied63 · 2026-04-20T10:23:17+00:00

There's definitely some butt-hurt coping in the "manosphere", but there's some truth to it as well. Once you have some dating expereince you can see the tells of the women who are run through. (It's helpful to avoid!)

It's useful for men to have some experience and confidence. So try some variety!

Perhaps focus less on the label "married", and more on cultivating relationships that encourage & up lift you (friends, girlfriends, family etc). If there's a girlfriend that stands out among them, then marry her. If not, then don't worry about it.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2026-04-20T11:11:29+00:00

So far this year I’ve been on around 20 first dates. I don’t even remember last year exactly—probably about double that, not counting second or third dates with the same women. And yeah, with most of them it got physical. But now, at 28, I’m kinda over it. It doesn’t really surprise me anymore—the patterns, the behaviors, all of it.

Everything started to feel predictable. With the experience I had, I could create a need and then be the one to fill it… and they wouldn’t even notice.

The more time passes, the more I actually enjoy being single. Honestly, a lot of people should try that. Once you really start dating a lot, it can turn into a headache real quick

Swimming_Concern2637 · 2026-04-20T09:48:40+00:00

I feel like sex is a good driver to seek out and for me at least it made me care about getting them but I also was pretty relationship driven so while getting most of my bodies I dated a lot of them in my experience it makes it less special and and like someone said it’s hard to focus on two aspects of someone, now when I meet a girl we have to connect intellectually and physically for me to care about fostering a relationship and it’s rare that I find a girl into/good at what I like sexually now and one that makes my brain crave conversation with them my advice is sleep with less women value once more, it does change you

AngelicCombatMuse · 2026-04-20T11:41:32+00:00

Doesn’t sound like a positive for most guys commenting, pretty surprising

Sorry-Place6291 · 2026-04-20T11:53:12+00:00

I’m actually trying to go back to one I split things off with. I’m scared af of commitment now that I’m older😂 of all the girls I was with she was wifey material tho.

For the whole soul thing I think you mature and find happiness in yourself and you can share it with whoever you choose once you reach that point. The girl I was most in love with wasn’t worth building a future with, I enjoyed my time with her but was toxic and would have kept some generational curses going.

If this don’t work out, I’ll be cool with it all and just staying single and meeting a few more soul mates to spend a chapter of my life with. But I do want kids and I’m 35. It would be nice to raise the kid with both parents if possible

red__what · 2026-04-20T12:56:52+00:00

lose your ability to pair-bond, and your soul

False. But you need to be self aware.

Always look for love cos that works for 95% of men. But till you find it...

Metrack · 2026-04-20T13:18:06+00:00

I used to fuck around a lot in my 20s and now my mentality is closer to superficial women kinda haha. Before my current serious relationship i used to swipe majority of women left. I could afford that because there were plenty fish in the pond (tinder and other dating apps). Your entire dating strategy is completely different than when you are just an average guy. You can afford to throw away a lot of food. It's similar to today's society when we throw a lot of food spend money on bullshit only because of huge surplus of money so it works the same in dating when you are attractive.

That's the first thing. Second thing. You only want to have sex with the best looking women or at least those who can perform as much as possible in bed. Sex becomes really just about performance. You only look at what these girls can do for you and you to them haha. If you had fewer partners, you could be more open to compromises, more like that, everything would be more magical. But like this, you just look if a chick can take it deep, if she can move nicely, moan, and so on. If not, you usually lose interest very quickly. Same with looks.

So this definitely does not have a positive effect on committing to anyone long term. It doesn't mean it's impossible. You just automatically have higher standards not only in life but also sexually.

Not everyone has to become a fuckboy and bang at least a hundred chicks in 2 years, but it's definitely an interesting learning experience. And in the end, I'm not encouraging or recommending anyone to become a soulless fuckboy and bang a bunch of chicks, because I myself was just decent human being to those girls. I had success, I had a nice body, I was well educated, I could sweettalk, so I don't blame those girls for wanting me.

That doesn't change the fact that it terrifies me how differently women treat you when you are attractive versus when you are not attractive in their eyes. The gap is so huge that I just feel sorry for average guys. Those guys very often spend their entire lives manipulated, trapped in guilt, trapped in how they should behave and so on. And this magically does not apply to you when you are simply attractive. You can break most of the rules and it will still be seen as a good thing. It's terrifying when you realize that.

BlackManta425 · 2026-04-20T13:37:31+00:00

33 year old blk male 100+ body count. I completely feel numb when it comes to sex sadly. I’m married also been married for 7 years and at times with my wife who has a very low body count, but I have lost all connection within myself which sometimes it hurts cause that pair bond and soul attachment is real. Swapping energy is a real thing and believe me when I say your partner will feel it and see it. Thankfully she’s a good woman who accepted me for my past and I love you her forever.

ExcellentPlace4608 · 2026-04-20T11:12:46+00:00

What do you consider high?

Title	Men with high bodycount. Your experience?
Author	kashpw
Upvotes	70
Comments	55
Date	April 20, 2026 8:16 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sqj5j4/men_with_high_bodycount_your_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/men-with-high-bodycount-your-experience.1578411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578411

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