I broke and begged her back.

darealyst · 2026-04-29T14:28:51+00:00

Hahah it happens bro. Back in Dec 2024 I was horny as shit and invited her to look at Christmas lights and she accepted and then I went on some long winded conversation trying to feel her out for a hookup. She laughed at me over the phone and I snapped out of it immediately. Made for a very awkward meetup because I still had her come along to look at Christmas Lights with the kids a week or so later.

Once I got laid after the Christmas season I just had to look back on it and laugh in embarassment. I just wanted some tang and tried the easiest one I knew, didn't actually want her back.

Numerous_Rush5227 · 2026-04-29T11:31:00+00:00

You’re so busy relying on her to break you. Why double down and break yourself more? Get up, give your head a shake, and make a life for yourself. It’s more difficult when separated than after it’s final, but you are the king of your domain. Respect yourself as such.

SasukeFireball · 2026-04-29T03:13:20+00:00

Just get back up. That happens. Don’t think too hard about it. I’m a very prideful person & I’ve had some very embarrassing moments. Doesn’t change anything about me. What I went through made me more myself than I’ve ever been. Stronger is an understatement.

KingJon85 · 2026-04-28T22:38:32+00:00

Don't beat yourself up. You shouldn't care what she thinks anyhow. What stifled any thoughts of me getting back with my ex was just imagining the future, some months down the road, and us settling back into our routine.

All the thoughts of all the bullshit she put me through would bubble up and make me resent her. I would just be miserable. I wasn't happy in my marriage, just content. She made very little effort to keep me happy.

Everyone else in her life was more important. The kids, her family, the dog. I was dead last. It got to the point that I was pathetically, damned near having to beg for attention. I should have ended it long ago.

The reason I was dead last was because she didn't care about me. She was searching for a replacement, while using me to pay her bills. She doesn't deserve another chance, and she will never get one.

I did beg about 4 months in. I wish I hadn't. Even if she did say yes, and we got back together, I know it wouldn't work out. I could never trust her.

JayRock1970 · 2026-04-28T18:48:54+00:00

Been there. When my wife said she was leaving I begged for her to stay or try to just separate and work. Nope. It hurt more anytime I'd try, so I stopped.

10 months later, divorce papers are being sent to her today actually and I still get the urge. Even though going back is impossible now.

FirelineJake · 2026-04-28T11:22:54+00:00

Happens to the best of us, the shame fades faster than you think, and at least now you know you're finally ready to move forward.

Ok_Industry3016 · 2026-04-28T08:51:20+00:00

I just wanted to be friends but once she got her $$$, ghosted me. Made her social media private too. 13 years we can't even be friendly. . I wasn't asking her back.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-04-28T07:41:42+00:00

Emotions, honesty, vulnerability, "love" don't work on them, the more that you are needy, the more she sees you weak and confirms leaving you was a good choice. The opposite works, she'll be back when your life is far better withouth her than with her, and when you don't need her, especially if there is another, younger or prettier woman.

But then, once you understand they are driven by the lizard brain - you really don't want them back, and never really trust a woman again.

Rockatello · 2026-04-28T07:02:00+00:00

Forgive yourself dude. Was it a good look? No.

Will you learn from this. Yes

I think many men have been where you are and they got through it. Just like you will

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2026-04-28T06:56:33+00:00

You're human. At least, when it comes to regrets, which many people have, you know you left everything on the table.

She may remember this when she's divorcing her next guy at 65, or in some other moment. She won't sit around laughing at you.

Use it as a break point. Sounds like you haven't talked much and perhaps haven't moved forward. This is it, the perfect moment.

Now it's the gym. Dating new women. And living and moving forwards.

LaCathedrale · 2026-04-28T06:17:45+00:00

Brother, I am sorry for you - that sounds very tough. I have had similar feelings with similar results.

In your case, you know in your heart that it wouldn't work either - and if she'd have patched things up then they'd have just fallen apart again for the same reasons and you'd be here again but in a year or two years time.

BuddhistChrist · 2026-04-28T03:53:15+00:00

Well, this way you’ll know not to do it ever again.

Reflog1791 · 2026-04-28T03:49:15+00:00

She is gonna feel really dumb when you upgrade everything in your life.

The look on my cheating ex’s face when my hot gf opened the door to my fat golf course house was very satisfying 🤣🤣🤣

nonotmeporfavor · 2026-04-28T03:21:47+00:00

It’s OK! You would’ve beat yourself up if you never asked. Now you know. Chin up. I would like to think that I would never want what I had before because that’s a lie. I know I would take it all back in a heartbeat; however, I’m different now, and so is she. So all I would be wanting back is a past that can no longer exist in the present or future. I want the good times that I held onto so badly. Those good times or what allowed me to put up with 10 years of absolute self-abandonment.

Of course, I don’t want to do all the work that’s required to heal from the betrayal, the loss, the pain, the resentment, the anger, etc., etc. But here I am, and I must. I hope you’re able to understand in one day, see that it is all happening for a reason.

It doesn’t seem like it now, but one day.

Antique_Relief_804 · 2026-04-28T03:04:58+00:00

Question from someone very fresh off the “conversation” and not wanting the divorce….. in the year since your separation, how long were you living apart, have you or her had other relational interests and do you have children? Keen to understand the dynamics to see what I’m up against. Ps don’t feel like you have to share if it’s private or too hurtful to discuss.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-04-28T03:00:09+00:00

Forgive yourself. You are just human and we are doing our best to deal with rejection over and over again.
I hope we come out stronger and better for all this pain.

OkJaguar5013 · 2026-04-28T02:53:01+00:00

Lessons my brotha. What was the call about? Besides the underlying/unspoken reason to check on your emotional state?

Title	I broke and begged her back.
Author	BlaqueBoye
Upvotes	26
Comments	37
Date	April 28, 2026 2:49 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sxoz46/i_broke_and_begged_her_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-broke-and-begged-her-back.1579049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579049

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