Why Are There So Fews Novels That Portray Men As Victims In Abusive Relationships?

Somobro · 2026-05-20T03:50:00+00:00

The types of people who read those types of books aren't going to buy ones that portray men as victims in an abusive relationship. It won't sell, so it won't print.

Global_Estimate7021 · 2026-05-20T04:29:09+00:00

Women have this whole cultural framework for talking about being abused, they frequently discuss and consume media about it bc they accepted it as part of their shared reality so it’s easy for producers to know their stuff is going to sell.

Men on the other hand don’t have any of these practices bc they are socially discouraged to complain so instead they externalize the focus of abuse, so even if many feel individually victimized it’s very unlikely men in general will purchase content bc culture involves a social component.

What I think we lack as men is the internalization of abuse. Not taking so much about what women did to us, but how we felt it and recognizing how that experience is unique to our gender. That’s how you create the framework which enables media to invest and produce content.

whoisaname · 2026-05-20T04:05:32+00:00

I don't know about books, so somewhat off topic, but one of my favorite musical artists has a relatively popular song that is told from the perspective of a male victim of domestic abuse

Hozier - Cherry Wine

As an IPV survivor, this song has always hit me pretty hard, especially when hearing it live.

Lyrics:

Her eyes and words are so icy
Oh but she burns
Like rum on the fire
Hot and fast and angry as she can be
I walk my days on a wire

It looks ugly, but it's clean
Oh momma, don't fuss over me

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

Calls of guilty thrown at me
All while she stains
The sheets of some other
Thrown at me so powerfully
Just like she throws with the arm of her brother

But I want it
It's a crime
That she's not around most of the time

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

Her fight and fury is fiery
Oh but she loves
Like sleep to the freezing
Sweet and right and merciful
I'm all but washed
In the tide of her breathing

And it's worth it, it's divine
I have this some of the time

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

ETA: In a relatively sick twist though, the music video took a song that is obviously about a male victim of domestic violence, and made it about a female victim instead.

DeterminedStupor · 2026-05-20T05:18:16+00:00

Only a couple are really popular, like Gone Girl and Rebecca.

Obviously not as popular as these two, but I would add Lessons by Ian McEwan. The resolution to the abuse (the main character is groomed by his piano teacher) is probably not satisfying, but I think the book makes the argument that the past abuse does not have to define the main character’s life. He managed to raise his son well as a single father (because his wife left him to pursue writing), and the book ends with him connecting with his granddaughter.

TheRealMasonMac · 2026-05-20T07:01:36+00:00

Because culturally:

Women = pure (semantically clustered with virginity, innocence, naivety). Native Americans were described as effeminate as victims of European conquest, for example.

Men = impure. Men literally codified laws on this principle in order to protect women from men. It's legit internalized sexism.

PassengerCultural421 · 2026-05-20T13:55:34+00:00

Misandry.

Specific_Detective41 · 2026-05-20T08:42:28+00:00

Because it doesn't sell and people don't see men as victims. Apart from Gone Girl, the only film (not book) that I know of that shows an abusive relationship is Fatal Attraction.

Even if there is IPV or rape it's usually trivialised. Example being Brigerton.

Intelligent-Bird-313 · 2026-05-20T12:54:18+00:00

I wrote a novel. Very short, though, since it was a slice-of-his-life type book. His partner is physically abusive, but also very sexually abusive. I’ll share a link if demand is high.

No_Road5857 · 2026-05-20T21:27:23+00:00

Watch Fraiser. Niles is in a deeply abusive relationship, and it's played mostly for laughs and he's told to apologize for sticking up for himself. It's awful.

Punder_man · 2026-05-21T02:09:02+00:00

Just look at the controversy that rose up when it came to the first season of the Anime: "The Rising of The Shield Hero" where in the main character is the victim of a false accusation of Sexual Assault / Rape by another character and is ostracized by the other hero's / people of the kingdom.

He's later vindicated but I remember when it came out there was A LOT of blow back from many women / feminists who claimed that the anime is making it seem like false accusations are common..
They even called out the creators as "Misogynists" despite the fact that the author of the light novel the anime is based on is a woman!

The point is, anytime a media series tries to portray boys / men as the victim of girls / women its usually met with immediate backlash and protest..
This is because it upsets their preconceived notions / ideals of "Boys and Men are abusers, Girls and Women are victims!"

And they can't have that...

MW_200309 · 2026-05-20T10:05:41+00:00

Because that’s not the main market

SuperMario69Kraft · 2026-05-20T05:09:14+00:00

There are media like Harry Potter and The Fairly Oddparents that depict parental abuse against boys, if you count that. The latter even had a few episodes depicting what could be considered female-on-male sexual abuse.

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blackmamba4554 · 2026-05-20T17:13:18+00:00

Maybe it's because of feminist censorship?

Blauwpetje · 2026-05-20T17:34:32+00:00

The Swedish playwright Strindberg wrote some plays about this, I think, in the 19th century.

aslfingerspell · 2026-05-25T15:21:17+00:00

Baby Reindeer portrays a female stalker, but it's a Netflix show.

OrcOfDoom · 2026-05-20T05:01:41+00:00

Plenty of movies do, if that means anything

alterumnonlaedere · 2026-05-22T23:31:57+00:00

The book Disclosure by Michael Crichton comes to mind.

Tom Sanders, the head of advanced products manufacturing at DigiCom, expects to be promoted to run the advanced products division after DigiCom's merger with a publishing house. Instead, the promotion is given to his ex-girlfriend, Meredith Johnson, who recently moved to Seattle from the company's headquarters in Cupertino, California.

Later that day, Meredith calls Tom into her office, ostensibly to discuss an advanced CD-ROM drive. She aggressively tries to resume their relationship, despite Tom's repeated attempts to resist. When he spurns her sexual advances, Meredith angrily vows to make him pay.

Unsurprisingly, the book was criticised by some people as being anti-feminist.

It was also adapted into quite a successful film.

Disclosure was a financial success, grossing $214 million worldwide ($83 million in U.S. and Canadian ticket sales and $131 million in other territories), against a budget of about $55 million. It became one of director Barry Levinson's most successful films after his initial successes with Good Morning, Vietnam and Rain Man. Its success extended to the video rental market, and it was the third most rented movie of 1995 in the United States.

Sharo_77 · 2026-05-20T07:20:12+00:00

Write one

Title	Why Are There So Fews Novels That Portray Men As Victims In Abusive Relationships?
Author	DoYouNotRememberThis
Upvotes	125
Comments	54
Date	May 20, 2026 1:03 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1ti6bpo/why_are_there_so_fews_novels_that_portray_men_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/why-are-there-so-fews-novels-that-portray-men-as.1580786 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580786

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