Lawyer is asking me to pay half the mortgage

El_kawashi · 2026-06-04T19:43:35+00:00

Just got an update. Got the attorney hopefully everything goes well

ImportantToNote · 2026-06-02T02:36:27+00:00

Pay half her mortgage and have her pay half yours.

rocketstar11 · 2026-05-28T16:35:57+00:00

If you are on title, your are obligated to pay half.

Unless she buys you out or it is sold, you have to pay.

Dont do what others are saying and create hardship or complexity that needs to be litigate down the road.

If you want a clean resolution, dont do things to make it messy.

NilesGuy · 2026-05-28T13:34:56+00:00

No don’t pay ….settle up on your end when the property is sold . Do nothing until there is a court order . You have your own living expenses to consider. But definitely get a lawyer to represent your best interest and make sure you are not being taken advantage of .

Mountain-Fun-5680 · 2026-05-28T12:30:26+00:00

Move back in if you are paying.

Flapique · 2026-05-28T07:00:56+00:00

For me it was court ordered

bdkgb · 2026-05-28T01:48:47+00:00

Dude you need a lawyer quickly.

Stunning-Repair-2119 · 2026-05-28T00:19:55+00:00

Lawyer up bro. Representing yourself isnt gonna be in your best interest. Ultimately, the courts dont care whose wrong or right and who did or didnt do what. Its about the money. The entire situation from start to finish is about money. So bite the bullet and pay a lawyer to represent u. U will be better off. Like right now for example, if u had s lawyer, they would be giving u professional legal advice based off their expertise snd years if experience and knowledge of how the system actually works, instead of looking for insight from strangers on redditt. Good luck brother 🙏

cromulent_weasel · 2026-05-27T23:32:19+00:00

They way we did it I assumed ALL household costs and responsibilities, and she paid a nominal board to sleep in the spare bedroom. That was the status quo for a few months until the financial separation agreement was signed and activated, at which point I took out a really big mortgage on the house to buy her out and pay her her half of the split assets. She moved out shortly after that.

El_kawashi · 2026-05-27T22:51:34+00:00

So guys, I’m getting a lawyer..!

skotman01 · 2026-05-27T22:23:59+00:00

Ok the get a lawyer bit aside…if you are to pay half the mortgage, make sure you get some equity too.

I’m paying the entire mortgage because I want my kids to have someplace stable and my situation at the time didn’t lend itself to them living with me. I also get most of the equity when the house sells (once kids are out of the house). My ex doesn’t make enough to afford even 20% of the mortgage, I’m also not paying alimony.

UrAristotle · 2026-05-27T21:59:47+00:00

Man, get a lawyer. You’re walking in off the street to fight in the UFC. You’re going to get killed.

If nothing else, your lawyer would tell you that paying half the mortgage for a house you no longer live in is nuts. The day my ex moved out I took over all payments.

It sounds like you’ve already gotten there, but don’t play nice about anything. This is an adversarial process and she’ll protect her own when she has to. You should, too.

Chillout2010 · 2026-05-27T21:40:14+00:00

Are you still in the house?

PrivinNetwork · 2026-05-27T21:10:01+00:00

Don’t agree to anything just because her lawyer asked. Her lawyer represents her, not you.

ToughPill · 2026-05-27T20:51:36+00:00

Never take advice from your wives lawyer.

El_kawashi · 2026-05-27T20:11:42+00:00

Appreciate everybody’s advice. I’m gonna get something. I really don’t give a fuck. I got nothing to lose something winning will be a hard lesson. Never get married again.

WorthConnection346 · 2026-05-27T19:53:39+00:00

You and your ex don’t agree on everything. Through her lawyer, she wants you to pay half the mortgage. You could try asking her directly in case it’s the lawyer being a zealot advocate for their client, which is her.

edit Time to get your own lawyer or communicate directly with your ex to find out what she wants.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-05-27T19:49:40+00:00

First off, as other said, you NEED a lawyer. The moves you make in the next 6-18months are gonna determine your life for the next Twenty years. If you have money for half the mortgage you have money for lawyer consults. DO NOT HALF ASS THIS.

Second, IF you pay 1/2 you'll be entitled to 1/2 the total equity once you're done (via selling or her buying you out). If you DONT you need to get the house appraised ASAP and determine the value (and equity) AS OF TODAY and THAT amount (1/2 of it) is your half of the buy out.

We agree on everything.

If you dont pay will she be ok/agree to that?

How long do you guys think until the divorce is finalized?

Start to finish mine was 3 years but that was because my ex did not agree on things.

superman_410 · 2026-05-27T19:44:03+00:00

Dont agree to that, you need to hire a lawyer like right now, dont agree to anything until you have a lawyer that has went through everything with you

AdequatelyfunBoi2 · 2026-05-27T19:36:41+00:00

Unless you’ve passed the bar yourself, go find representation immediately. You are going to end up penniless and broken.

Great-Quit6206 · 2026-05-27T19:31:43+00:00

Before your divorce or final write up though I’d consider talking to your lawyer about if she’s keeping the house or not about the amount of mortgage you paid while not staying in the house be paid by her at closing or final decision.

Great-Quit6206 · 2026-05-27T19:28:02+00:00

I unfortunately did have to pay for half the mortgage while I had another place to live that I was paying rent. She even had a boyfriend staying at the house with her. That was 3 years ago and I had just finally went bankrupt over it all.

47omek · 2026-05-27T19:25:28+00:00

Don't pay a dime while the divorce is proceeding that isn't ordered by a judge. Her having a lawyer and you not means you're going to get bent over in whatever settlement they come up with. If she's living in the house she can pay the mortgage. You've got your own housing expenses to pay in the meantime. Get your own lawyer. Her having to foot the entire mortgage and going underwater doing so will keep the pressure on her to reach a reasonable settlement. If you're paying half, she's got your house, your money, and no you... everything she's always wanted. Why would she then settle?

Reflog1791 · 2026-05-27T19:12:15+00:00

Do you have $2k to take this question to 5 different lawyers in your locale in an initial consult?

Do you have another $3k to retain the best one for “limited representation”?

You are way out of your league here buddy and they are gonna eat your lunch while you pay half the mortgage for the next 3 years just to get an itty bitty payout that they offset with alimony.

You’re playing a dangerous game. This deal is a trap.

A lawyer would probably tell you to kick her a $1500 check per month with the right words in the memo line. The good lawyers will tell you exactly what to do to get out of this with as much of your current assets and future income.

Trying to do this by yourself when you’re asking this question to Reddit seems very foolish.

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2026-05-27T19:01:30+00:00

If you are representing yourself and she has a lawyer, you might as well just pay for everything because you’re signing up to get fucked.

0neMinute · 2026-05-27T18:58:17+00:00

I would only do that if they considered putting the house on the market now. If you agree to it while not living there then she can drag out the divorce and has no reason to end it.

Title	Lawyer is asking me to pay half the mortgage
Author	El_kawashi
Upvotes	10
Comments	38
Date	May 27, 2026 6:55 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tpf03a/lawyer_is_asking_me_to_pay_half_the_mortgage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lawyer-is-asking-me-to-pay-half-the-mortgage.1581413 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581413

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