Been divorced for 2 years now. I cannot stand being around my ex. I still have a lot of bad feelings towards her for how it all went down and how she has devistated me financially. Just being around her triggers me. I try to avoid being around her and still don't like being around her even if it's for my kids special occasions. Their grown now, one in college and one graduating tomorrow. When special events come up where I will have to see her and the ex in-laws I get extremely uncomfortable. Missed my daughter 21st b day because it was at ex in laws house. Even if I forced myself to go it would just change the dynamics because you cut cut the tension with a knife and it would make my kids uncomfortable. For this reason I miss out on a lot and it makes me sad and angry. My sons highschool graduation party will be at my ex in laws house as well and I'm not going because I don't think I can handle it. I'm missing my sons college orientation and his move in because my ex will be there with her mother and I just can't do it. At the same time it makes me feel terrible that I'm not there. In one way I feel like I'm respecting my boundaries because I know what I can handle and what I can't. But on the other hand I just feel terrible for missing things. Anyone one else in the same boat? Any suggestions? What do I tell my son about why I'm missing his orientation and why I won't be there when he moves in? Should I force myself to go anyway? It woke be a trip. We live in California and he's going to school in Texas. And I would have to be around my ex as we move him into the room and for the parent orientation events. Divorce really screws things up.