How do dads manage when they work all week and watch children all weekend?

Able_Excuse_4456 · 2026-07-23T15:35:26+00:00

Brother, I'm not going to add more ratio advice, but just want to congratulate you for being an Awesome Dad (TM) that cares about his kids. You are being the main Provider and Protector, which is our calling as Dad.

I've been where you are: school on nights & weekends, home/lawn care on nights & weekends, Dadding at their activities on nights & weekends....

Here are some of the tips I'd give my former self:

- Invite your kids into your routine. I used to mow the lawn with my daughter on my lap, turn mopping & vacuuming into a game, and stack wood as a family. Bring them into the things I am already doing for them.

- Give them a "them"-box. Define and schedule a daily/weekly/monthly time where your focus will be 100% on them, with no distractions. Not every hour of every day, but small blocks in your busy schedule.

- Play the long game. Our kids' reliance on our provision will last into their 20's or 30's. For many of us, that means we need to keep increasing our financial postures in our 40's, 50's, and 60's. Never stop self-improving, because your bottom line today directly ties to your children's well-being tomorrow.

Puzzleheaded_Monk_39 · 2026-07-23T14:09:48+00:00

2-2-3 with demanding job. I realized I’m lucky my kids are still young and then since I’m 50/50 I only get half that time. So when I’m with them I just focus on being present and the best dad possible. The house is a mess most days and the lawn isn’t always cut but I realized as long as I do focus on a few things and let unimportant things slide it’s a lot easier. I even hit the gym 3-4 times a week for an hour to decompress and stay fit.

Objective-Apple-7830 · 2026-07-23T12:19:03+00:00

I have the kids between 2-3 days every weekend..it allows me to work and spend the weekends with them. And also some weekend time for myself to date, hobbies etc.A point of note I pay child support to offset the weekday watch over.

chohare · 2026-07-23T08:12:57+00:00

Why don’t you do a week on week off? I do that with my three kids and I get to focus on work, my study and my adult relationships during my week off, and then I can completely focus on the kids on the week they’re with me. It’s also the best set up for them in that they can relax and spend time in each house and quality time with each parent. If they’re changing every two or three nights it’s very unsettling for them and they never feel like they’re in one place long enough to relax.

UrAristotle · 2026-07-22T23:37:59+00:00

We do a 2-2-5-5 during the school year and alternating weeks during the summer.

For the first 2 years it was more like 60/40 me, sometimes 70/30. She has started a new job that allows more schedule flexibility, so it’s more 50/50 for the last 3 months or so.

They are with me Monday and Tuesday every week and 1st and 3rd weekends. We alternate 5th weekends.

Pick up is after school. We only live a mile or so apart, so it’s easy to stop by her house or my house and get their things.

Curious_Will222 · 2026-07-22T22:40:26+00:00

We do 1 week on and one week off in the summers. Give us time to plan trips both with the kids and solo.

During school we do 2/2/5 which is:
Mon/Tu- Mom
Wed/Th- Dad
Fri/Sat/Sun- alternating

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-07-22T21:54:49+00:00

Shoot for 1 week on, 1 week off. You will need weekends for your alone time and time with the ladies.

Flapique · 2026-07-22T21:00:43+00:00

I'm self-employed and disabled my grass is tall in my backyard right now but it gives a shit. My expectations of perfection went out the window a while ago I'm sure you'll get there soon just focus on your kids I'm sure they're capable of entertaining themselves for a while you got this man you can figure this out. You're so blessed bro, you got the house! on an acre! that's freaking amazing!

Actual-Bison7862 · 2026-07-22T19:49:33+00:00

Your kids are capable of entertaining themselves for a couple hours at a time.. split your chores and studying up throughout the day. Developmentally they need to be able to learn that. Think of it from an employment perspective, if they cannot identify or find things to do and their boss needs to hand feed them each task will they be successful?

wrxtasy846 · 2026-07-22T19:38:15+00:00

I am self employed. I understand what you are saying, I have put my business on cruise control, it’s doing well, but it’s not getting the attention it would. I have our 8 and 11yr olds either Sunday morning through Thursday afternoon or Monday afternoon through Thursday afternoon, alternating every other week. During the school year, 98% of nights with me are school nights. Their mom wanted this schedule because of her new part time job that was Monday-Thursday. That job lasted a 6 months.. It was frustrating at first not being able to run my business the way I wanted to, and not having any nights that weren’t school nights. But I learned quickly that the children needed to be with me during that time, I am the stable and consistent parent they need during the weekdays. It’s been two years now, and my relationship with my children is stronger than I ever could have imagined. They are doing so well. I was considering at first to send them to extended care or hiring a nanny for after school, but instead I hired people to manage my business. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made, and I’d never go back. I recommend doing whatever you need to do to be as much a part of their life as you can.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-07-22T19:34:04+00:00

I don't understand why so many people do these crazy ass schedules. Put it to 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. The kids prefer that. It's better for parents.

Knave7575 · 2026-07-22T19:32:50+00:00

You get stuff done during the 40% of the time the kids are with their mother.

Is it super easy? No. Being a single parent sucks. Good news is that you are a single parent with free babysitting 40% of the time, which is much much much easier than being a 100% single parent.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-07-22T19:17:18+00:00

You need someone to watch the kids while you are working/studying/whatever. If that means a nanny, then get one.

federally · 2026-07-22T18:30:17+00:00

This is a really hard thing to balance and your options are going to be pretty limited until your kids are older. As well you are going to need to really focus on the kids until a sense of stability and routine is established in the new dynamic.

I have my kids Thursday afternoon - Sunday night every week. Since I have them for all my time off work I have plenty of opportunity to be an active and engaged father and compared to before divorce I'm not really losing any time with them since I didn't get to see them a whole heck of a lot Sunday night to Thursday morning anyway.

This, and the fact my kids are older, means it's not a big deal if I do something social without them on one night and when I have a short work day when they are gone I make sure to do something. Otherwise I would go kind of stir crazy simply being a guy that only works and dads.

psychcaptain · 2026-07-22T18:07:48+00:00

I have a 30/70 split right now, because I drive over 2 hours a day for work. I just can't be there for the kids and the mornings or afternoons, and I have zero family in country.

I have requested medical accomodations, and I hope to move to a 50/50 split with 2/2/3. Maybe 40/60 of 2/4/2, if I can't get my full accomodations.

Reasonable-Glass-965 · 2026-07-22T18:01:45+00:00

What do you mean. I have my kids 50-60% of the time. Had them 100% of the time before the divorce. It’s the time without them that’s frustrating for me. Sure the house is a little messier when they are home. But the little noises of my boys playing makes it all feel like home instead of a ghost of the family I once had.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2026-07-22T17:50:49+00:00

7/7. You have a week, then she has a week. Better for the kids, better for you, easier for everyone else involved.

ProofConnect6521 · 2026-07-22T17:48:15+00:00

I finished a bachelors and a masters with young kids and a wife that worked nights and I worked six days a week. Don’t let your kids be your excuse. Enforce bedtimes, routines, consistent schedule. The answer is not in her helping you. The answer is you managing your life

SquashAny6790 · 2026-07-22T17:47:35+00:00

I'm a 50/50 co-parenting dad and do the 5225 schedule with me getting the kids every Weds+Thurs night and half of the Fri+Sat+Sun nights and it works really well. Their mother gets every Mon+Tues night and half of the Fri+Sat+Sun nights

We both have understanding employers who allow us to do extra hours (early/late) at the times we don't have the kids to allow us to be a bit late in and leave early when we do have the kids to get our full time hours in. We also both take payroll deductions to buy extra days annual leave to enable us to each cover half the school holidays.

How do dads manage when they work all week and watch children all weekend?

How do other dad's manage when they work all week and then spend the whole weekend with their kid(s)?

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