The Thing You Really Want

Auvergnat · 2019-04-08T20:55:37+00:00

Good post but it needs a caveat for spergs who are going to use this post as a justification to avoid approaching women that don't show desire from the get go...

Yes, men have a core want for female desire. Yes it’s natural, and no you shouldn’t settle for less. Keeping chasing a girl who doesn’t desire you, or trying to maintain a relationship with a girl who doesn’t desire you will make you miserable..

BUT it’s important to remember that, while a man knows in 0.3 seconds upon seeing a girl whether he desires her or not and will usually not change his mind after he gets more information about her, a woman's desire for a man is not necessarily that fast, and does change over time as she gets more information about that man.

A woman might not be attracted to you at first at all, but then because you used excellent Game, swat shit tests, demonstrated more masculinity that she's seen in months, and presto, she's lusting for you.

Hey you can have a girl completely ignoring you for months, and then one day she sees her "rival" showing lust for you, and boom preselection turns on the tingles to 11.

So again, yes you want women who desire you, and no you don't want to be "chasing" women who don't show that desire...

BUT don't ever forget that women's desire is HIGHLY INCONSISTENT. So do show a reasonable dose of persistence, do make the minimum seduction efforts if they don't cost you much, do arise that desire in her.

Or to use OP's poker analogy: The guy who will play any hand no matter how shitty is just as foolish as the guy who only plays when he's been dealt a straight flush. Learn the Game. Play some, bluff some, fold some.

redpillcad · 2019-04-08T21:16:38+00:00

Once you become AlphaFucks and see how women treat men they desire it will fall into place nicely.

First become a high value man

Patriot29 · 2019-04-08T22:52:10+00:00

One thing I want to add is that once you become that high value man who secures the powerful lust of a hot woman, do not let your guard down. It is easy to become so deluded as to think that just bc a woman’s entire world and sense of self worth revolves around you at this given moment, that it is an indicator of future loyalty. You may be tempted to increase your time spent with her or even LTR her when you first experience this genuine lust. You might find comfort in knowing that she believes she can never do better than you. Do not fall for this trap. The act of increasing your investment in any way will be the nail in the coffin. You can and will lose their lust. And when you do, it will be a rude awakening and yet another layer of pill to swallow.

TheRedPillRipper · 2019-04-08T23:23:11+00:00

”There are only two tragedies in life; one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. - Oscar Wilde”

Sexual Strategy is amoral but what the boys want is a shortcut to sexual success. Although not a shortcut TRP provides a tried and tested methodology. Once they get there those enlightened enough realise that there’s more to sex, more to passion.

Personally; I’ve always been an ambitious son of a bitch. I don’t focus on who lusts after me; cause I’m far too driven pursuing the one thing I lust after.

”Everything in human life is really about sex; except sex. Sex is about power.” - Michael Cunningham

Chadster113 · 2019-04-08T19:47:45+00:00

This is what confuses me most about the red pill: don’t be validation seeking but then this post comes along and says you should be looking for passion/lust.

Can someone explain this to me? I just be missing the nuances here

Popular-Culture · 2019-04-08T22:21:34+00:00

This post came at a great time for me. I have this plate who has been a consistent and reliable source of sex for me. Always compliant when I invite her over and very fun in bed. But I don't feel that desire from her. Sure, she temporarily scratches my itch for sex, but it doesn't give me any long-term satisfaction. You're right: I want her to lust after me. And I don't think she does. So I'm left wondering if I should keep this thing going, or just end it before it dies out. Regardless, I need to keep increasing my value and keep hitting the gym hard so that I can one day inspire that feeling of lust in women.

IAMB4TMAN · 2019-04-09T00:56:08+00:00

I think in general, this is correct - there will be women who things just click with & the desire is hardly confusing. But, I think to really bring this thinking to be sidebar/another TRP law/theory to live by, it needs to fully incorporate ASD.

Here's something to discuss:

- If you are a very good looking Man, & you have demonstrated traits that convince a girl (even the HB8+'s) that you are at least 1-2 SMV points higher, I have noticed that the insecurity you inspire will trigger them to delay sex w/ you. Overall, under the below 2 situations, I've wrestled with whether delayed sex is due to lack of desire for awhile, & so far the conclusion I am coming to is, is that there are instances where it is not necessarily a lack of desire.

1) I'll start with weak escalation -> delayed sex

- If your escalation game is weak, for example, going in for a kiss w/ the intent of sex at the end of a date after little to no physical contact during the date, you will 99.9% of the time not be able to close, but that does not necessarily mean she does not desire you. I've noticed a good test for desirability is her willingness to give you a 2nd chance - the shorter the time frame between this 'chance' & the 2nd date, the higher the level of desirability. Following this article's advice on nexting her right after she denies you under the belief that her desire for you isn't strong here is wrong, fundamentally. If you're just trying to increase n-count & maximize efficiency, yes, arranging the 2nd date to fix your escalation errors is probably not worth it, but in the context of her desire for you, you are still in the game.

2) Overgaming + handsome or just overgaming to the point of making her feel insecure about the SMV disparity -> delayed sex

- I think that if you have convinced a woman that your SMV far outstrips her, her delaying sex w/ you is more a function of reputational/vanity protection vs. lukewarm desire. I have noticed that this tends to happen with physically handsome Men following TRP game + PUA game too strictly to the letter or if you are dropping all these game concepts on a girl who's SMV is clearly 1-2 points lower than yours. When you get to the point of having sex & she denies you, or tells you to wait, I think that this is not a function of her lack of desire for you, but more so a form of ASD which can be overcome, but to do so one must have knowledge of advanced TRP game (distinguishing shit tests vs. comfort tests, a bit more weight into the 'pull' part of push/pull dynamics).

-- Caveat: From what I've noticed, sufficient Fame is the only aspect of a Man's SMV that can officially overcome any reputational/vanity offenses / SMV disparity insecurities/concerns as I have seen high smv men with fame get away with overgaming.

Overall though, I think filtering for that 'fuck yeah' interest is probably one of, if not, the most efficient way of capitalizing on sexual strategy as an RP Man if quantity > quality is what is desired. At some point in a Man's TRP journey though, I think there will be a period where one strives for quality > quantity; that is when you could depart from filtering for only 'fuck yeah' interest & go out there to capitalize on desire in a secure way.

Note: Everything I've said to this point assumes that 'fuck yeah' interest/desire exists but you fucked it up with #1 and/or #2; I am not advocating for attempting to inspire desire that is lukewarm to begin with. Overall, converting lukewarm desire to desire is an endeavor that will 99.999999% end up in failure as you will be gambling with your frame to get her there which I think is an unnecessary risk, period, & even if accomplished is not the 'fuck yeah' desire she will have for a Chad/better Chad.

TLDR: Generally, if a woman delays sex I agree with Whisper/Rollo that the 'medium is the message' & it can be attributed to lack of desire / she just isn't that into you, so -> next. But, assuming you are not hamstering the IOIs & everything else that point to a high level of desire, delayed sex can be a result of #1 and/or #2 & not necessarily a lack of desire.

BlindingTwilight · 2019-04-09T00:11:22+00:00

Nice post and very helpful for inexperienced guys. Women who make you wait come in two varieties. The girl who is looking for a plow horse, or the girl who actually is into you and she wants to secure your commitment. How can you tell the difference? Most guys cannot tell the difference because they are thirsty and desperate for someone to love them. Guys who are experienced with women, let’s say an n-count above 20 don’t really need any tips here because they have learned through experience. For guys with less experience this is a real problem. The best metric is as always the sex itself. If she has made you wait and after the first stages the sex drops off, then she sees you as a plow horse. If the sex remains fun and regular then maybe she really does like you as a person and find you attractive as well. It’s a fine line because guys who are sexually inexperienced could easily think that just because she has sex with him regularly that she is into him. Getting more experience is the safest way to judge if she is into you or not.

DirtyPickleGuy · 2019-04-09T07:24:32+00:00

This hits the nail on the head.

I recently hit 10 women. In two months I had banged as many chicks I would've gotten in a year. It felt good but after the ninth I didn't feel anything. I used to feel something. If she was hot; good. If not, bad. But I didn't feel anything with this HB7. I decided I needed to fuck more chicks to figure out why. I hit 10 and still felt nothing.

Probably need to work on retaining pussy, or getting a couple plates.

Bear-With-Bit · 2019-04-10T03:51:04+00:00

"I don't want your number, I want you to wonder." - great American poet Sean Combs

Vikingcel · 2019-04-08T21:12:48+00:00

Low-key avoiding saying that the thing you really want is validation.

UnanimousInMyOpinion · 2019-04-10T00:06:20+00:00

You guys who are making way too much out of this “caveat” bullshit are the Spergs. This is a masterful, remarkably insightful post that fleshes out everything you need to know about “don’t chase women.” Unfortunately, and painfully for many, those men who don’t get the depth of, and heed the advice in, this post will live to regret it. It’s a slippery slope exactly how long it’s going to take some woman to start liking you (bullshit), how much “game” you have to play before she realizes how wonderful you are (bullshit). The spirit of this post should be obvious to non-Speegs, and it’s message is true to life

8380atgmaildotcom · 2019-04-10T00:08:49+00:00

Not to suck your dick but every post you have is the highest of quality. Not a single word is in there that doesn't need to be. It simply shows unlike most on here that you know what you are talking about.

You don’t just want sex. You want girls to lust after you.

Deep down this is what it boils down to.

DiSysmic · 2019-04-09T00:46:26+00:00

TRP and askTRP are saturated with Gen Z's and Millenials. At the root of our need for feedback, we aim to reach for society's high ladder while filling our sexual needs with some no-strings-attached pussy.

I have yet to understand what the hell passion means.

Loze1 · 2019-04-10T20:49:10+00:00

For the past week I've been contemplating this topic in my mind. Prior to that I did some introspection and uncovered this truth about myself. Even more strange is, when questions like these come to mind, I somehow find an answer to them later down in the form of a post or article.

I want to be needed. I want to feel it. That's what is at my core. After reading Mindset (by Carol Dweck) it's an issue I had since childhood. Most of the children in my extended family were older than me so I was the one excluded from whatever they were doing. That time I was about 7 and they were in their teens or close to it. I wasn't party of the club just because I was too young. I was a quiet child. Children are pretty fucking heartless among themselves if you asked me. I was also bullied for that same reason. It felt like nobody wanted me.

I'm working on myself right now. It was hard to come to terms with it. I know I won't be lusted after like a male magazine model. No matter how long I stay at the gym. Maybe through plastic surgery? I'm looking at this the wrong way. I won't be able to get that kind of attention with my looks alone. I'll need to add some game to that. Not at my best yet. There's a lot of work to be done until then.

cupshadow · 2019-04-14T03:10:06+00:00

This was spot on.

I'm not on TRP to go after every trashier girl I could get on. It's too about pride, self-respect and personal standards. It's about the girls that will really gonna add value to my life, that will put real effort to meet and spend their time with me.

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bouncypoo · 2019-04-09T22:10:27+00:00

I agree most dudes desire women with the hope that she will desire him in an equally reciprocal fashion. Women don't love you and are incapable(look up briffault's law). Women want, no need, validation and attention from men, sans the sex. The wise claim a women will never love you like your mother, luckily for me my mother was incapable of even doing that right; I was merely a puppet boy that fed her attention and validation. My childhood experiences allowed me to swallow the blood filled pill before I knew what it was.

Most women are useful for nothing beyond a cock spitshine. Beyond that they are solely to be utilized for your amusement. As long as you maintain frame they inevitably will fall in line, that is until you fall "in love". Focus on yourself, amass great fortune, build a wonderful empire unto yourself, but most important of all don't fall in love boyos.

Of course I've fallen in love once. Once they catch a whiff, your downfall is near. They notice your softened emotions , how you have become weaker, all the while she has woven tightly woven vines , more than you can imagine. They all swing in the breeze. Once she catches a glimpse of your beta she will find a way to drop you to your knees, all the while clutching to her thickest and strongest vine. You will lay there watching her jump off the ledge , to her new Tarzan, she won't even look back. As you lay there almost as good as dead. You will never be the same afterwards. Afterall no one respects weakness.

ChrimsonChin988 · 2019-04-10T09:53:18+00:00

I'll bite.

At some point, yes, most of us will feel the need to have a girl lust after us. But don't make the mistake to think this is the end goal. Some of us are not even at the stage of having the need to have a girl lust after us and some of us are already past that point.

Having the need to have a girl lust after you is ego stroking and ultimately is rooted in insecurity. Therefore, it can not be final.

This is nothing more than Maslow his fucking pyramid. First, we seek to fulfill all our bodily needs (food, shelter, SEX) 2 or 3 layers above that we seek things like love/belonging/feeling of accomplishment (having a girl lust after you can be an example of these things).

You can spin this shit all you want because our perspectives are constantly shifting and therefore also what feels relevant/authentic/true to us.

What I want to leave you with is that because something feels like the 'ultimate' truth to you right now doesn't mean it will always be that way because our perspectives are very dynamic and constantly shift, therefore our needs and motivations do as well. Just because something feels true to you right now doesn't mean it is actual truth.

Coming up with 'final solutions' like 'The thing you REALLY want' is pretty shortsighted tbh.

To elaborate on this, you fell in your own fucking trap. As you pointed out whisper, some people are not yet at the point where they want a girl lusting after them but just want sex. Basically, you say that rookies think they want A but they actually want B, committing the exact same mistake as they do, because you fail to see there is also an C, D, E, F etc. In a few years you will say 'ha these noobies think they want B but they actually want C!'. and on and on. That's why thinking in terms of 'final solutions' is shortsighted...

McVaghunter · 2019-04-10T11:24:47+00:00

You don’t just want sex. You want girls to lust after you.

Actually, no. I just want sex. I don't care if she's lust or not, all I want is to get laid as frequently as possible with as many girls as possible. The shape of the body of a female in her prime matters to me more than anything going on in her mind.

Sure I hard next girls who don't fuck on the first date but that's not because I "want to be desired" but because she wasted my valuable time once and I'm not gonna allow that to happen again. I don't burn bridges tho, she's more than welcome to approach me later on, but we will be heading straight to my place. Believe it or not some of us in TRP (very few admittedly) do workout, and between the job, the personal project, the workout, the cardio, eating and meal prepping, cleaning the kitchen, we do have a very tight schedule. Going out on a first date and not getting laid becomes a fucking disaster.

So, "you listen to me with your ears and not your low T disorder". If a woman needs enough time to know you before she could decide if she'll fuck you or not then she does not see you sexual value. Maybe because there isn't any. Sorry to inform you that some of us genuinely value sex more than passion. Humans are different, there's nothing wrong with craving passing, most of men do, it's called being bluepilled.

As for why not just pay for sex, I would've loved to, but the point is to get laid every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and that would cost a fucking fortune, hint why I've completely ditched TRP's advice about taking girls for drinks on the first date; with multiple girls approached every weak even a simple drink for each one of them will cost a fortune.

This post is disappointing coming from a TRP vanguard, whatever that means. It's sad to see TRP taking over by men who crave passion. What a shame. Why would a particular woman's passion matter if AWALT?

ThinSpiritual · 2019-04-11T06:26:06+00:00

Thanks for the post, very timely for me.

I'm at the stage where I can get sex regularly, but I can't remember 95% of them and I start to wonder why the fuck do I even want sex in the first place? So now I want sex from hotter girls, from girls that I feel affectionate towards, from girls who have a higher SMV... I'm becoming hypergamous?

Last weekend I went to a date's home (second time meeting her), I knew I was already in her when she invited me to go over. Anyways, in the midst of fucking her dog hopped on to the bed and I pushed it away, knocking over a bottle of wine and creating a massive mess. I don't mind, but she does. We paused to clean up and after which she said she lost the mood to continue.

She said she's sleepy, "let's go to bed."

"No, I'll go home."

I felt unwanted. Or at least, I wanted her more than she wanted me. Sleeping together would be a torture for me.

A soft-next ensued, because I didn't really get what I wanted. This post cleared everything up for me. Gracias.

linkofinsanity19 · 2019-04-16T10:42:29+00:00

This is the best post I've read in a long time. It gave me chills how true it is.

Frenetic_Zetetic · 2019-04-19T09:26:11+00:00

This sub is getting worse and worse with these rationalized BS posts that do nothing to help new people on the fence, other than continue to obscure and dilute genuine understanding of RP info.

Title	The Thing You Really Want
Author	Whisper
Upvotes	191
Comments	80
Date	April 8, 2019 7:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/theredpill/comments/baxqte/the-thing-you-really-want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-thing-you-really-want.1596550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1596550

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