Is everyone a dick to each other because nobody wants to be taken advantage of?

gypsyyymoonss · 2020-08-28T20:55:00+00:00

Yes. For most of human history we mostly all lived among kin/tribe. Now we are all rootless, anonymous strangers. So it makes sense that both people would be cold to each other to avoid exploitation (since there's little real disincentive to exploit), AND because the threshold of excitement/stimulation/arousal necessary to make taking the risk worth it is higher, and becomes ever higher with each incident of exploitation.

John_Oakman · 2020-08-28T20:46:17+00:00

It's called the prisoner's dilemma, and that, combined with the sub's general disdain towards altruism, means that any natural virtue will be mercilessly mocked here.

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-08-28T21:09:18+00:00

Yes, nice people get taken advantage of and burned in 2020.

Narcissists and dark triad types are the people getting laid.

Mimoxs · 2020-08-28T20:37:21+00:00

Yes. It's not even just gendered. I've had to learn to be cold to girls too.

People will always seek to take advantage of the naive and vulnerable.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2020-08-28T21:17:43+00:00

Niceness can be a weakness when it inhibits you from going after what you want (within reason). Being nice means you're inclined to please the people around you, and if that requires sacrificing your own wants then yes you essentially end up taking advantage of yourself before others have the chance to.

Dating is inherently self-serving, because like a job interview both parties have conflicting interests and your job is to advocate and negotiate on your own behalf.

Although if that were true then why are people nice? If niceness is such a weakness.

Because not every situation is one where you and the people you're interacting with have conflicting interests. When you're making small talk with a stranger or helping an old lady cross the street you don't really "lose" anything for being nice.

Also, just because people consciously know something can be detrimental to their well-being doesn't mean they have the ability or the will to change. Everyone knows not exercising and eating unhealthy is bad but obviously that's not always enough to deter you when you're feeling lazy or craving a burger.

Bekiala · 2020-08-29T02:28:04+00:00

When I was young I found that men would think I wanted sex/romance if I was friendly so I really tried to be less so for their sake and mine too. It seemed kinder to them and saved me from uncomfortable situations.

I love being older and I can be as nice and friendly as I want to be.

Haywood_Jablomie42 · 2020-08-28T21:02:27+00:00

and women act cold because niceness will also get them taken advantage of.

False. Women act cold because as they get past high school, they realize that the deck is stacked in their favor and that they can be as nasty as they want with zero consequences.

mae1995111 · 2020-08-28T20:45:25+00:00

I think that it's been magnified in recent times more since a persons social status is a lot less defined by how that person acts over a lengthened period of time but rather how they are portrayed on social media.

If you're constantly a dick to people in real life, noone in the past would want to be friends with you (unless those people were weak and you were extremely influential). Now, people judge your ability to influence by your social media so that as long as your social media image is that of a nice person, who you are in real life doesn't really matter.

Think about someone you know is struggling in real life yet with a social media presence that signals that they are doing well. I'm sure that when you meet them, you feel a dissonance when they talk about their problems because in your mind you're thinking, 'well they seemed to be doing fine in their instagram post'. Even if they tell you that they were being fake for instagram, there's a certain automatic validity to those posts that you can't convince yourself otherwise i.e. if it's on the internet it must be real.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-08-28T21:19:29+00:00

I haven't noticed people are dicks to each other in real life. It's mostly here. Because people come here for drama and good old fight. If we agree and be all nice to each other that would be so boring. In real life if I open to people they are usually are open to me too. Men are fine, women are fine.

RedPill_is_a_cult · 2020-08-29T02:21:25+00:00

You can have boundaries to protect yourself from being taken advantage of without 'being cold', folks. Give it a try.

upalse · 2020-08-29T03:45:05+00:00

Niceness doesn't necessarily correlate with being a chump.

TechnicalMight0 · 2020-08-29T09:15:58+00:00

I find most people have difficulty putting up boundaries, probably because parents tend to prefer obedience over independence. So yeah, we mostly have "nice" people without boundaries for whom it's easier to learn not to be nice anymore than it is to learn to have boundaries.

I'm nice to people until they give me reason not to be, I just don't give them money or favors, I know when to say no, and I'm not afraid to disagree, but that doesn't make me "not nice", it just means I have boundaries. People can't magically take advantage of you for being nice, they can only take advantage of you for not having boundaries.

gypsyyymoonss · 2020-08-28T21:24:50+00:00

Yes. I’m cold hearted af because everyone has tried to take advantage of me. Never let your guard down ladies

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-08-28T21:23:54+00:00

Yes. Most dating behaviors revolve around ego-preservation and inflation. Anything that damages or deflates the ego is bad and people try to limit it as much as possible by hurting the other person first after they've gotten what they wanted.

cloudydays84 · 2020-08-28T22:09:50+00:00

You don't have to be a dick to not get taken advantage of. I'm not saying being cold and detached doesn't work but plenty of people do just fine being nice without being a doormat.

analt223 · 2020-08-29T02:34:30+00:00

yes. Nobody wants to be the sucker.

Fekroune · 2020-08-29T09:37:37+00:00

That's cause everyone is playing a stupid game. Would be different if everyone was just honest about their expectations. The op of the comment didn't have to give a chance to every boy out there. She just had to clear things up about what she wants. When a boy would approach her she could say I'm looking for something serious so if that's not what you've looking for then no.

Her new college attitude is just a defense mechanism. She's trying to fix her mistakes. But the answer is not giving all guys a hard time cause it can be off-putting.

The right answer is to find a middle ground. The same applies for guys although women are at a more vulnerable position and more prone to all sorts of abuse.

Shadow_Of_ · 2020-08-28T20:59:38+00:00

Back in the old days we used to live in tribes where everyone knew eachother and helped eachother. That's not the case anymore so I won't live like everyone is in my tribe.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-08-29T02:47:50+00:00

You see this mechanic at play in small towns where people have more "traditional" views vs big cities where people live more liberal lives.

In small towns all people are friendly and quick to trust each other, and they are more eager to help people they don't know. Yes as always you have the ocasional motherfucker that wants to play generous and kind people, but they are quickly casted aside by the entire town, even sometimes reprimanded really hard.

You see, small communities tend to protect their colective moral standards as public property, becouse they understand (even if it's on a very superfluous level) how important is for people to trust their neighbours, and once a few individuals start to break some rules and get with it without punishment, then all the people start to mistrust each other and they become strangers.

This is why, in part, small villages are, more than not, very conservatives in their views, and why their inhabitants seem so fixiated in other people's private life and often times try to force them to stick to "the rules", it's their way to avoid a culture of mistrust to take place in their communities.

People in big cities, on the other hand, live their lives on bot mode. They don't know who their neighbours are and they couldn't care less what other people do unless their actions affect their own personal intrests. They are less friendly, less eager to help others if it don't benefit them, and they will be suspicious about strangers by default.

Dating has turn, as all other things, the way of big cities.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-08-29T05:15:10+00:00

I think the way we've all evolved, socially, to be dicks is an extremely important part of human reproductive success and the actualisation of human survival instincts.

Mean girls. Dickish bosses. Competitiveness that seems aggressive.

And don't get me started on all the bullshit in the mating arena.

Some people are being dickish because it's a defence mechanism.

Some people are dickish because they are selfish.

Some people are dickish because they are robotic fucking sociopaths, or narcissists.

People, women especially, should really try and get to know a person before getting physical, but more importantly, sharing their innermost feelings - putting their heart out there.

I'm Red Pill as FUCK, but I'll agree to one Blue Pill tenet: You should really get to know the person you are going to invest in, and make damned sure they treat you properly, and also that they have a similar direction in life, and that they're working on their problems and won't drag you down.

For me, all that sounds too much like work.

MGTOW for the win.

Caveman_44 · 2020-08-28T21:14:29+00:00

I’d say this pertains more to guys than girls. Girls may be mean because they have a lot of options and a lot of peers that cater to them thus they become stuck up. Nice guys tend to get used and manipulated more often by women and get strong armed and bullied by other more aggressive males. So yeah mean/hostile makes you seem like less of an easy target

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psypD · 2020-08-28T23:40:28+00:00

Although if that were true then why are people nice? If niceness is such a weakness.

In more natural less sheltered environment trust, dependability and the ability to bond is more important.Being nice to your close group is not a weakness but a strength. We now however live isolated in huge groups of strangers. There are not that many great repercussions to being a moderate asshole in that type of setting. Sometimes it's quite beneficial and fun.

thoruen · 2020-08-29T06:06:54+00:00

And we all think we do the majority of the work.

2020-08-29T08:34:01+00:00

Everyone is a dick to each other if you surround yourself with narcissistic people. OLD is shark infested, remember that.

BipBopMusic · 2020-08-29T21:41:06+00:00

Yeah not all men act mean. Nor do all women act cold. I don't know, a lot of people don't come across as that way to me. Maybe they aren't gushing with happiness out in public, perhaps more reticent, but mean/cold? Eh, don't see it.

lilpizzapocket · 2020-09-01T03:14:56+00:00

It’s called being educated and having boundaries lol 😂

We all have trust issues and rightfully so. You gain each others trust over time. That’s just how the world works.

Being naive is not virtuous, its not “good” it’s just being uneducated and irresponsible.

SeemedGood · 2020-08-28T20:52:37+00:00

Men act mean because niceness will get them taken advantage of

...and eschewed for sex.

women act cold because ~~niceness will also get them taken advantage of~~ [they can get away with it without repercussion]

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-08-28T21:26:19+00:00

Nobody wants to take an “L”

jakethegreatwhite · 2020-08-29T02:40:26+00:00

"Nice guys finish last" Makes no fucking sense but it does, humans are dicks.

Infammo · 2020-08-28T21:24:44+00:00

That pretty much sums up why I went TRP. I like LTR's but I'm tired of being used and abused by my partners. To date successfully as a man you don't have to be an asshole but you need to be able to act like one when necessary.

SaBahRub · 2020-08-28T21:48:26+00:00

Niceness is nothing more than a means. The ends differ, that’s all. You can be nice to get sex, friends, favors, the moral high ground, consensus, things, and reciprocal niceness. And people can choose whether to respond to your niceness

taapy234 · 2020-08-29T01:13:11+00:00

yes.

I act in a way bordering on asshole-ish and cocky. The side effect of this behavior from me is women are MORE honest about their intentions and more open to sharing the actual thoughts they are having.

KineticDream · 2020-08-29T03:45:29+00:00

I’d like to say I’m a nice guy. I’ll be polite and courteous, but be wary of ever asking me to do anything for you, because I will expect a return favor and will say that up front, and if you fail to deliver I will shun you from that moment on. I’ve been taken advantage of too many times and now this is the only practical approach I can adopt without becoming an anti-social dick

Title	Is everyone a dick to each other because nobody wants to be taken advantage of?
Author	bf_Lucius
Upvotes	35
Comments	70
Date	August 28, 2020 8:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/iiewb1/is_everyone_a_dick_to_each_other_because_nobody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-everyone-a-dick-to-each-other-because-nobody.170266 https://theredarchive.com/post/170266

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