Google and the PUA

I stumbled across the redpill trying to game my wife; I’m here because I googled “How to flirt with my wife”. I’m an engineer by trade and my first response to any problem is to research, evaluate, apply a method and assess for results. I started trying some PUA things, got my shit together and hit the gym, read some more and eventually got to the point where I was ready to let it all go.

That was about 4 years ago. Along the way I went through all the growing pains everyone goes through. I unlocked the “Asshole” achievement. I was asked “Are you seeing other women?” I endured countless shit tests, and then she followed up with even worse comfort tests. I had my main event, and went beyond that. Eventually I was even on the phone with a lawyer and had replacements for my wife waiting on stand bye, for my new life as a bachelor single dad.

Just the moment it was already to go under, my marriage, surely my finances for years to come, all of it, something clicked. It all just started working. My wife went from being combative to sweet and attentive. She no longer saw me as an adversary, instead began seeking my advice and more importantly my leadership. The whole time I had been preparing for any outcome, even the worse I sought to improve myself. I continued to work on eliminating covert contracts, getting myself in shape, being a better leader. My attitude was simple, “I’ll have a great life, if someone wants to share it with me great, if it’s my wife that’s up to her.”

 

Life by the Pool

I have a fuckton of hotel points. So this year I booked a suite for me and my family at an extended stay place. Breakfast in the morning, pool bar, dinners and happy hour at night; all we had to do was drive there and get some groceries for the occasional meal not provided. I set the whole thing up, planned the dates and told my wife “It’s a relaxing only vacation; no schedule!”

She went into execution mode. She scoped out the grocery stores nearby, asked for a rough itinerary and when we would approximately arrive. Drive would be from 3 am to finish, breakfast and lunch would be a stop I told her. She had snacks and drinks on ice, me and the oldest boy packed the car like pro’s. Ipads were charged and wifi was at hand. During the 10 hour drive the kids were happy and jovial, in fact they didn’t even ask for wifi until the last hour of the trip. I drove most of the way and she spelled me for an hour so I could have a brief nap.

We got to the hotel, and I checked us in. The kids were elated, as they love staying in hotels with swimming pools; this was the pinnacle of chic as far as they were concerned. She asked me to “take them to the pool to burn off some energy” so she could unpack and convert our hotel into a home for the week.

Two weeks prior I had the opportunity to take my wife on a business trip with me. I booked us a beautiful waterfront hotel in an awesome city. We ran around and just spent time with each other. We had good sex every-day and a great dinner every night. She was the girl I started dating 15 years ago, and we had a good time. She got my undivided attention and at the end of the trip she told me, “This is good. I missed you. I miss us.”

Unlike our Disney vacation this year, we only went to two tourist things. Both were small 3 hour affairs and at one point we just said, “Ok, we’re done let’s go,” with no obligation to stay to the bitter end. The rest of the time was spent at the pool or the beach. My kids loved it, my wife had far less duties to deal with, other than corralling kids and lunch it was a pretty simple trip for her. I was the master of ceremonies; every morning she would roll over and kiss me, and ask “What’s on the schedule for today.” Followed by a “oooh, that sounds great I’ll get such and such ready.”

A week later we rolled into our house, sun tanned and full of sand. After unpacking and putting the kids to bed, she came over and crawled on my lap. My wife is not a touchy feely person and has to make an effort when she does this. She whispered in my ear “I had a great vacation. Thanks for doing this.” I kissed her and told her, “You’re welcome. Go shower and I’ll meet you upstairs.” She giggled and jumped up.

Was it perfect trip? I don’t know but it was pretty close. Was she perfectly behaved and sweet and submissive? Of course not, that’s not in her nature; I married my wife because she’s fiery and passionate. She still threw the occasional shit test, but I swatted those away like flies. Did she follow my lead without hesitation? Yes. Mission achieved.

 

The Flywheel Effect

In business there’s a theory about the flywheel effect; I’ll borrow this analogy from Good to Great. Take a flywheel; say something like an old fashioned sharpening wheel. When you first start it spinning, it’s hard. You need a great effort to push through its momentum. In the case of starting it, you need to move it from rest to motion. Slowly but surely you push hard at first, then as it gets faster and faster you need to put less effort into it. Eventually it gets to a point where small inputs will keep it going with relatively little effort on your part. Conversely if you tried to stop it, you’d burn your hands up or need some external force to assist.

This is the path we’re all on. When you swallow the pill you’re literally pushing the wheel for the first time. Maybe it’s broken and won’t turn; maybe it’s so massive you can’t get it moving. But the first time it does turn is a revelation; “Holy shit I can move it!” So you push and push and soon it’s spinning, maybe even so fast you can’t keep up. Eventually you learn how to control the speed, you add small inputs here and there, but you’ve now become the sharpener instead. You have a great wheel at your control that you can use to sharpen the tools of your life.

 

Afterglow

My wife was lying across my chest, her shampoo was still strong from the shower and the smell of sex was mingled in with it. “That was the best vacation” was all she mumbled since I met her in the bed. It only took 4 years of work to make it that way.