Stats: 40, married 18 years, 4 kids. 175 lbs, 15% bf still skinny fat abs barely visible. Lifts: sq 235, bench 185, op 110, dl 240, row 130
5 months rp, dread level 2 entering 3. Sex 2-4/wk
WARNING: some blue pill thought and experiences here because I was still very blue pull the last time I grew a beard. Trying to break these thought patterns.
Q: “Be attractive - don’t be unattractive” The question is how much to tailor my appearance to the tastes of what my wife finds attractive?
I like my beard. I grow a solid and well groomed beard. It takes a while - about 3 months to look the way I am really happy with.
I last grew one a year ago. Blue pill but becoming aware me noticed a difference in interactions with strangers male and female and more IOI including outright compliments from women aside from my wife and her little hypergamous collective of besties.
I know. “What do I want?” I want my beard. I also want to continue to game my wife, and be attractive since for now I have decided to keep her around and stay monogamous.
I recognize shaving is a covert contract to get laid. Hell I used to use not shaving for a few days, then resisting her for a day or two and then shaving to get her to kiss me and fuck me again. I also realize that by worrying about being attractive to her I am living in her frame and not my own.
Historically I would grow my beard about a week or two before the asking me to shave, then pleading me to shave, then endless shit tests broke my pussy frame and I would cave.
Doesn’t help that I hate the look of my beard weeks 3-10. Although perhaps that was insecurity that I can deal with better now.
Last time blue pill me set a shave date to mitigate my wife’s shit tests and I grew it out. I fucking loved having it. Kids loved it. People treated me differently and especially women.
I kept it a week past the shave date and then shaved it off to get laid. Fuck me. What a pussy.
Still question remains do I grow it for me or shave to be attractive to her? She hates them. Won’t kiss me. Sex didn’t really go down during my 3 month adventure but we were only once a week then anyway.
I did notice in retrospect what seemed to be dread levels increase when other women outside her clique’ would say they liked it. I would always get laid that night. Her clique was all firmly on her side and shit testing me along with her. Found myself wishing her friends would like it thinking that validation might influence the herd animal mind in her.
I think this time passing shit tests might actually be fun rather than DEERing and arguing like I did last year. She asked me last week why I was so obsessed with the gym now since it was just her that had to see me naked. I just STFU. Laughed a little, slapped her ass and kept going out the door to the gym. I’m not passing all the shit tests by far but I have fun when I do and it’s hard not to celebrate.
Anyway enough words.