Shit test: wife fills the cupboards with crap food

lepthymo · 2014-09-26T17:57:47+00:00

Congratulations on not fucking your kids over. Fat parents with fat kids waddling behind them is one of the saddest sights there is, they aren't even giving them a chance.

Iupvoteforknowledge · 2014-09-26T16:16:25+00:00

These are the kind of the posts that would you find on /r/deadbedrooms if it was the exact opposite of what OP did

JP_Whoregan · 2014-09-26T19:59:23+00:00

The hardest part about getting in shape is removing yourself from the outside forces that will try to stop you. Misery loves company. When your family/friends see you making improvements, working out, and improving your diet, they will shame, ridicule, and say "why the hell are you doing that", etc...

It's all a projection mechanism. It's the "crabs in a pot" theory at work. Whenever one crab tries to crawl out of the pot, the rest of the crabs pull him back in.

On a side note, it's stunningly ironic how a mother can profess to love her children and then subsequently shove absolutely poisonous, fatty, non-nutritious SHIT down their throats at mealtime. This was a huge bone of contention with my ex-gf and her kids back in my BP days: I would slave over a grill or stove making grilled/braised chicken breast, fish, beef kebabs, etc, the kids would say "I don't like that", and their mother would make them mac n cheese. Like, 4 or 5 nights a week, the kids ate mac n cheese for dinner. They'll be diabetics by the time they're teenagers.

IllimitableMan · 2014-09-26T18:39:22+00:00

Women can be vindictive creatures. If they're in control of the cooking/food they will use it against you. Buy crap you hate. Refuse to cook. Try to manipulate you and guilt you by saying they do all the cooking and you "wouldn't eat" if it wasn't for them. It's all bullshit. I don't tolerate that shit. That's all a red flag. Give a woman any responsibility over anything significant and she will weaponise it to fuck with you at some point. It's just how they are. Cooking your own shit and learning to cook is all a part of independence. Cooking your own meals telling her not to do you anything and etc is soft dread. Sex under these circumstances seems like something of a reward for her shitty behaviour. Hate fuck her to assert dominance but don't keep laying the pipe if she won't make the effort to do a basic thing for the benefit of the family.

Edit: don't even get me started on the stereotypical speech of how ungrateful you are because they've cooked for you and "gone to all that effort" and you haven't ate the crap. That's another chestnut you can expect from a woman using food as a way to fuck with you. Ironically this whole thing gives law 40 - despise the free lunch an entirely new meaning from a relationship perspective.

Frozen_Tundra · 2014-09-26T16:13:19+00:00

I cook all my meals, lunch and dinner every day, going out to dinner about once a week only.

Shopping for food to cook is a lot of work, then cooking it it's also a lot of work. Buying junk food it's cheap and it's easy, my assumption is that she does partly due to laziness so that she doesn't have to prepare, cook, and then clean the cooking mess.

The cost is that you guys are overweight. Dispose of the food is a good start, now you need to figure out what foods you want to eat.

The sidebar of /r/fitness is a good source for nutrition guidelines, especially if you hit the gym.

GayLubeOil · 2014-09-26T22:02:06+00:00

Many of Red Pills readers are in their early to mid twenties if not teens. They have no fucking idea what its like to have a wife or what kind of fucking bullshit one might pull. Is not like a married thirty something is going to sit down a 22 year old college kid and explain his marital woes. This sub allows younger men to learn from the experiences of older men. As crazy as it seems there are very few places where such an interaction can occur in the feminized west.

mordanus · 2014-09-26T17:23:25+00:00

Nice example of holding frame. Keep up the good work. Also I hope the weight loss is going well for you. As for the meal planning and stuff you might want to take more of a lead in this so that she doesn't feel so overwhelmed. Maybe you can even get her into a cooking class. This will teach her how to make the meals you want and give her a social aspect as well.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-09-26T21:57:15+00:00

What is, to women, the most attractive part of the male anatomy?

The spine.

OP, you're my idol.

wheyapartment · 2014-09-26T20:01:48+00:00

Yeah, this is very important, I've found that if you maintain course with regards to being mildly anal about fitness and food (for yourself), your GF or wife will follow. My GF was always healthy, played Volleyball in college, and then when she graduated, I knew what was coming. Slowly her diet began to change, her stress increased, her workout routine thinned, and the exact same thing occurred - little shit snacks that are marketed as "healthy" but in reality are just horrible for you.

Told her she was going to get fat if she wasn't careful, that gaining 10 lbs a year might not show at all on her 21 year old body, but let me tell you what's going to happen after a few years at that rate. I said that it's completely fine if she wanted to not stop caring about health and fitness after college, like most Americans do, but then she can date someone like that. I was 5 years older and in better shape than ever, and that's part of what attracted her in the first place, and I would only be with someone who at least would try their damndest to look better at 26 than they did at 21. (and 30, and 35, and 40, and so on.)

I listened to the whole barrage ("OMG IF I TOLD MY FRIENDS WHAT YOU SAID THEY WOULD HATE YOU"). ("WHY DO YOU CARE, I"LL NEVER BE ONE OF THOSE BIKINI MODELS ANYWAY"). We didn't speak for a week after I kept just saying shit like "It's fine, just decide, either way it's completely fine. There's plenty of other guys like Fred (our mutual beta orbiting friend) who will be completely thrilled to be with you regardless of what you're doing to your body."

Then she decides to buy a bikini one size too small in April because she'll be able to rock it by May.

Women tie emotions into eating - ALL women I've met do this to some degree, others just manage it better. She wants to eat and live like she did in college not because she's a bad person, but just because she misses college, and getting back into that mindstate of "weee I can do what I want, CHOMP! Froyo yumm!" makes her feel happy, because it's anchored to how she felt at her happiest, surrounded by her sorority friends. Remain strong and give her positive emotions when she makes good choices, and in time your passion for fitness will become her passion.

Whisper · 2014-09-26T20:33:38+00:00

You are a good father. Well done.

HS-Thompson · 2014-09-26T17:22:51+00:00

This situation is not going to get better. If you consider her relationship with food to be equivalent to an alcoholic's relationship with alcohol, or an addicts relationship with their drug of choice -- and you should -- you will be closer to understanding that your actions will never be more powerful than the lure of her eating compulsions.

If she has a sincere desire to change her own health and weight then that could be different. But this story doesn't sound anything like that at all. The first step in dealing with someone else's addiction is recognizing that you have no power or control over it. Your actions will get results sometimes, as in your story, but ultimately her own ability to rationalize her compulsions will overpower whatever will you can exert.

Focus on yourself, and making yourself healthy. Don't fixate on her. And bookmark this post, come back to it when you realize after a long and painful struggle that this approach doesn't work. If you wanted a relationship with someone that has a healthy relationship with food that's who you should have married.

It's precisely the same logic that should stop people from marrying women who have had hundreds of sex partners: women who don't have the ability to control their impulses aren't likely to change.

This may sound overly judgmental or rude but sadly it's the truth.

OrpheusV · 2014-09-26T19:58:24+00:00

Good on you for keeping a healthy diet.

I recently switched my diet to keto because it will only positively impact my life in a couple ways.

During the week, no carbs and only whole vegetables and protein that is unprocessed. During the weekend, I can eat whatever I want. Goes really well with the gym schedule if you take Saturday off because you'll never gain fat weight and only continually build muscle.

I wasn't far either, but too skinny. It's crazy how useless carbs really are; it's basically just filler in your food.

Rice, corn, bread, sugar; it's essentially nutrition less. By cutting it all out during the week and maintaining some form of light/moderate exercise, the pounds just shed off, no joke.

Locastor · 2014-09-26T16:21:48+00:00

FR made me laugh my ass off, well played OP.

RE: Not being fatties, drop all forms of sugar. No soda, no bread, no pasta, no candy, no ice cream. Hydrate more and results will come in a month.

Deano101 · 2014-09-26T20:26:48+00:00

Really well said and done. I always feel sorry for fat kids I see with fat parents, it's like they haven't had a chance. If someone gets fat and it's their own fault: oh well. But with kids they haven't had it any other way.

Im lucky with my LTR, she cooks really well, and the best thing is treats taste better when they're deserved. It's unrealistic expect to cut all junk food out of your life indefinitely, and probably why people put on more weight when their trying to diet.

Hopefully you're wife will be inspired by your attitude

cubanogrande · 2014-09-26T22:30:25+00:00

Thank you sir. You're a good man and a damn good father by the sound of it. I wish I'd had a dad with balls like you growing up. I'd be cubanonormal instead of cubanogrande, and I wouldn't be spending the past 2 years actively reversing 25 years of shitty nutrition. Your children will thank you someday, just like I'm thanking you now. Slow clap for you my friend.

Burner1701 · 2014-09-26T22:59:09+00:00

I'm a husband and father too, I find my wife buys crap food if she shops when she is hungry or premenstural, and the latter could be an explanation for all your wife's behaviours on that particular day. We often get our groceries delivered at the moment which means we only get what we want and don't get distracted by impulse buys and I've noticed she goes through at the end and deletes out some of the items, like biscuits, before she puts through the final order. That might be an option for you.
Aside from all that, your fitness is your business, her fitness is her business, but the kids are absolutely both your responsibilities so good luck ongoing with fixing their diets. Lastly, instead of leaving to go to the gym, maybe take the kids for a run or something? It doesn't sound like your wife will be increasing their physical activity so you might have to take the lead on that.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-09-26T23:58:10+00:00

"Should you choose to physically confront me in any way ever again it will be the last time you do it married to me. In any argument if I so much as bump into you it is grounds for me to go to jail and you know that; controlling me in that way is cowardly and intolerable."

This is a very important point. I won't tolerate that kind of bullshit. I'm even withholding gorilla sex until I trust a bitch. By which I mean, until I have leverage over her.

Because we all know you can't trust a bitch.

dontlikemyfire · 2014-09-27T16:26:36+00:00

I'll give it a week longer to see if she initiates meal plans discussions with me

This may have been mentioned already, but maybe you shouldn't just wait for her to initiate those discussions. I would take the lead and bring it up again, calmly, like you have been handling it so far. I wouldn't wait for her to take the initiative anymore on this.

Good work, though. Hope it works out for you!

2014-09-26T23:52:30+00:00

Wife super horny at the end of the day because you were a FUCKING MAN!! GOD DAMN I GREW HALF A BEARD READING THIS!

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-09-26T18:54:55+00:00

Awesome on many levels. Crushing you're wife's behavior, the idea that health is self respect and your kids need good role models, on and on.

Practical Paleo: the simplest way. Just follow the damn meal plans , everything is laid out. Yes, there are a million ways to skin a cat, but sometimes it's a lot easier to just follow the damn plan.

You'll only probably do 5 of the days of meals for 7 days, as you need to purge food you already have. Since it's a ton of fresh food I wouldn't buy more than 5 days worth anyways or your going to waste a lot.

First week or so is hard. By the 2-3 week you'll sleep different, wake up different, everything.

2014-09-26T21:27:58+00:00

I found when going all out with nutrition during my cutting phases, I always had to make time to do the shopping and cooking, otherwise it's too easy to deviate from the plan. Plus, it kind of makes you proud when you make a deliciously kickass dinner, that's healthy and nutritious. You handled the shit test like a champ, though. The next mission is getting her to put in the same effort and commitment as you. It sounds horribly vein (though, all humans are by nature) But once you really get into health and fitness, relations with people who don't share the same dedication, are doomed to go downhill. It's a sad truth.

drinkcoaster · 2014-09-27T01:57:05+00:00

My father tried to enforce correct eating by buying smaller bowls and various other tactics but it never worked. He was putting in 55 hours+ weekly and couldn't control the home life anymore. Constant arguments with where my mother would hamster my weight away saying I was fine and its normal.

Since moving out I have gone from 220lb to 155lb (sub 10%BF). My parents are still fat fucks. I have grown up ashamed and disgusted by their simple inability to control what goes into their own mouths.

Your kids will thank you.

edit: spelling

Zoidberg1180 · 2014-09-27T05:29:06+00:00

Why the fuck do people put the tl;dr at the end, after we've already read the entire post?

TheReason13 · 2014-09-26T18:17:37+00:00

Excluding any and all forms of sugar and grains, refined or not, from your diet is what should be your first consideration. If you can successfully accomplish this you have won half the battle against obesity, the true concern here is your wife.

You cannot blame her for being human, as human we are all creatures of habit and convenience. Its natural for any sane person to resist being taken out of their comfort zone, she has become complacent. She will subconsciously demonize you for removing the "easy options" she is used to, this is to be expected so don't let it upset you. It will help her immensely to inform her of this.

Leaving it up to her is probably a dead end, its not fair I know but you'll probably have to put in a bit more effort in actively educating her on proper nutrition and enforcing the guidance you set in terms of family diet. Your kids will more than likely just fall in line.

Good job. Keep it up and never back down.

redpilltom · 2014-09-26T21:03:19+00:00

Make sure to involve your kids in your new path to fitness. Get them into sports, go for walks with them, maybe even buy some really tiny dumbbells and show them what daddy does at the gym. By changing and involving them in it, you show them what the power of motivation and positive change can mean in their life.

And tell your wife what to cook. Send her healthy recipes and tell her to cook it. You're the captain, she's the first mate. If you let her make the choices, she will continue on the same given path and make bad ones. Lead her confidently and she will follow.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-26T20:39:52+00:00

If you were in doubt that it was a shit test then this is your answer:

by bedtime she was horny as hell.

This is how to maintain frame gentlemen. This....this....this!!

martypete · 2014-09-26T17:13:44+00:00

This is a perfect and textbook example of holding frame. Excellent job my friend.

2014-09-26T20:07:58+00:00

Dear OP: You are a hero. Also your kids will benefit in countless ways from such a change in diet.

2014-09-26T19:50:02+00:00

Feel invited. /r/fatpeoplehate

Padre55 · 2014-09-26T21:18:56+00:00

Oh hells no, food is a sign of culture and life and where you are at in the world, a bunch of crap (not a body builder cycle) means "I'm fine with being unhealthy"

Drop kick that BS forthwith and post haste

Dark_Shroud · 2014-09-26T21:37:31+00:00

Keep it up. I'm working to get myself back into shape. Had my father made good decisions about nutrition I would be in a much better place than I am today.

2014-09-26T22:01:13+00:00

Its narcissism. Head on over to /r/raisedbynarcissists to see the same patterns. Bottom line its very difficult to change.

Killigraphy · 2014-09-26T22:43:37+00:00

Keep it up, it seems as though she hasn't had any in a while, but ultimately they all cave in. Your job now is to be a "breeding bull"...make yourself look presentable to all mares and she will quickly back down to her regularly scheduled role...plus you stay healthy; win/win.

Lt_Muffintoes · 2014-09-26T23:02:36+00:00

If she buys shit food again, make an event of throwing it out/setting fire to it with your kids.

Teaches her about boundaries, ingrains a dislike of shit food in them.

Im_A_Box_of_Scraps · 2014-09-27T00:16:00+00:00

That's some Walter White level stuff there. Good on you. She can't control her eating habits so she just wanted to try to sabotage your improvements. Misery loves company.

Bottled_Void · 2014-09-27T01:52:59+00:00

I'd have gone and got the fresh fruit and veg before throwing out the junk. Then she can see the better alternative.

Seems to me you wanted to push the confrontation because you feel it's your wife's fault that you're out of shape.

2014-09-27T03:28:19+00:00

Reminds me of this iconic scene:

"I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is. When Bonnie goes out to the store, she buys shit coffee. I buy the good stuff because I wanna taste it. No, my concern is not how good my coffee is. It's about the dead n*gger in my garage."

-Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction

2014-09-27T08:11:54+00:00

this is what TRP is all about. good going sir, those were fine words and a masterfully executed frame control. keep us updated!

Swiss_Cheese9797 · 2014-09-27T11:37:00+00:00

so much win in just one post

Mikolaj_Naso · 2014-09-27T14:29:19+00:00

It seems like this is fairly common. On a related but parallel topic, recently I read that in times of scarcity, men find fatter women more attractive whereas women tend to be more constant in their preferred aesthetic.

My ex-wife definitely used food to sabotage the relationship. It is funny because she filed for divorce when she couldn't beta-fy me to suit her image of behavior suiting a married man (stop training physically, no social life, cave to tantrums etc).

An ex-girlfriend was inoculated to my complaints regarding self sufficiency, reciprocity, and culinary skill by her mother's comment that she didn't raise her to cook for a man.

Another ex-girlfriend disclosed to me that her parents almost got a divorce because her mom was unwilling to cook healthy food.

Finally, my evil stepmother would refuse to cook for or feed myself and my siblings if my father was out of town on business - which was most of any given week.

In Freakanomics there is a comment almost to the effect of "the higher the incompetence, the higher the status, and lower the responsibility."

Anyway, as red pill evolves, it would be neat to read red pillers reflections on how particular cultures enable the dysfunctions that are perfectly functional for the preferred castes - in the case of red pill, it is gender - but it would definitely be great if we shifted to taxonomy as well.

Each of the women described in this post are of varied ethnic and economic backgrounds.

I like being self sufficient and independent until someone feels entitled to be my dead weight - which is the attitude of most women I've encountered to date.

2014-09-27T15:03:51+00:00

This is why you dont get married, kids

swallowthisthrowaway · 2014-09-26T21:46:52+00:00

See because you told her that if you were to even bump into her, you would go to jail, which implies she has power over you due to the law. Is this not a bad thing? In that you can be as physically and mentally strong as you want, but she can snap her fingers and ruin you. Most women know this, whether conciously or subconciously, but just stating it up front, isn't that pointing out/reminding that she has an ace in her hand?

tyofwa · 2014-09-26T19:43:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dominant_driver · 2014-09-27T09:10:55+00:00

Here's what was going on: She bought the junk food for one reason or another. OP reacted in a way that makes it clear that he isn't in control of himself because he can't even handle the temptation of having the snacks in his house. That's ridiculous, food is food, just eat a little snack once in a while and it's gone soon. She notices OP getting emotional over this nonsense thing and like all women she likes these kind of things and turns it into a game that is supposed to end with you fucking her. When she was blocking the doorway you should have kissed her. But you were unaware about the game and took it for serious reality and even lost all your frame with the "going to jail" comment. OP you are lost and she can pull your strings like she wants. There is a limit on how much you can let a woman play these games, but she just wanted a good fuck then and there. Learn to play these games and enjoy them for what they are.

Now if she's seriously acting in this way and sex and intimacy doesn't work on her you should divorce instantly and get away from her.

And don't let stuff like some junk food in a drawer affect you like you're an addict.

rmwj1956 · 2014-09-26T22:45:08+00:00

This isn't a "shit test." They don't exist. You can find the explanation in Genesis: women will try to rule men if men don't rule them. It's about power, domination and control.

IanIronwood · 2014-09-26T19:33:26+00:00

While you gloat, she is out there sleeping with other dudes.

You can threaten women all you want. They Will still find a way to Fuck you over.

Title	Shit test: wife fills the cupboards with crap food
Author	tyofwa
Upvotes	256
Comments	149
Date	September 26, 2014 4:07 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2hjdr7/shit_test_wife_fills_the_cupboards_with_crap_food/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/shit-test-wife-fills-the-cupboards-with-crap-food.21837 https://theredarchive.com/post/21837

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