Being Unattractive

teaandtalk · 2019-03-01T20:48:36+00:00

Could you gain some weight? If you've ever been heavier, where did you put on weight?

Wolfssenger · 2019-03-01T21:23:03+00:00

There are things you can do, but I have not the knowledge for you. The ladies here can help you with that. I do have, however, something to say on this black pill-esque mindset. To save some typing, I'll link it here.

qmprt · 2019-03-01T21:14:05+00:00

There's a number of factors that play into the shape of your body.

One thing that can affect breast size is hormones. Being on birth control can adjust the size of your breasts. You may already be on bc so it may not be a difference maker.

Hips can widen with age, and they will after you have your first child. It's very common to have more narrow hips before having children and a big difference after.

With a thinner body, I see men often looking for the toned look. Having a small bit of fit muscle on top of a thin frame is attractive to them, I guess.

bunniebell · 2019-03-01T21:46:26+00:00

I wonder if your clothing style and how you style your hair may have an effect. I can guarantee self-confidence has an effect—when my confidence got higher as I aged, I started getting so much attention even though I looked the same.

How would you feel about showing us some photos of you with identifying features hidden? The hardest part of helping is not knowing what the real problem could be.

pazjoc · 2019-03-01T21:43:23+00:00

Woah I read that you are only in your teens you still have time to glow up as they say. I am also 5ft 5 but I weigh 130.. not sure If this is good. But just adding because I think 95 it kind of too low. I would say work on buileing your personality right now. Some people just have personalities that make them so beautiful and magnetic. I strongly believe your looks will improve with age and that you shouldn't worry about it or compare yourself to your sis.

sunflowergirls85 · 2019-03-01T22:02:22+00:00

Men finding you attractive has a lot to do with your confidence. A lot. I think in Fascinating Womanhood it even talks about that. It’s the way you carry yourself and the way you feel about yourself. I’ve always been so shy and not very confident. I won a beauty contest once but I have had people tell me I underestimate myself or don’t use the way I look to my advantage. I have always hid from people. I somehow got lucky to find my amazing and handsome husband but I didn’t like getting attention from men when I was younger because I was so shy. I am in my 30s now and wish I would have learned to be more confident when I was younger. The people that do have that confidence really shine and attract others like a magnet, no matter what they look like. When I have a day I am not feeling good about myself, I listen to the song The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, by Prince. I am sure if you do, you will build confidence and realize that you are more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.

lovin44 · 2019-03-01T22:36:26+00:00

I understand how you could feel unattractive at your current weight. When I was a teenager I ranged from 80-95 lbs throughout high school and no one ever flirted with me either. I'd say being so small at your age gives you an advantage because as you grow up you'll have an easier time aging more gracefully if you start taking care of yourself now. As you have a very high metabolism now, having an effective workout routine will be handy especially when it starts to slow down.

I'm currently in my late 20s, 5'2 and 105lbs, and I try to hit the gym 3-5x a week. I'm small chested as well so I focus on my bottom half, and my advice is to lift HEAVY. Go as heavy as you can without risking injury and still being able to complete full range of motion for an exercise. Make sure your form is correct because you don't want to get hurt. Is your body shape more up and down like a rectangle? A smaller waist will create the illusion of curves.

Learning how to dress for your body type is so important. As someone else mentioned, leggings look good on toned legs. They also lift the booty! A-line skirts are awesome for creating the space of a curvier bottom half/fuller hips, while ruffle tops give more volume to the chest area. You should do a little research on dressing for your body type, or look up some celebs that are shaped similarly to you and take notes on some flattering outfits of theirs.

I do believe there's someone for everyone, and it's not one size fits all when it comes to appearance. All men are not attracted to the same cookie cut out silhouette. Everyone has preferences! There are men who will like you as you are now, and who will like you as you will be when you glow up :)

FeminineEnergy01 · 2019-03-01T23:16:30+00:00

Confidence works wonders. I'm 5'2.5 and weigh 126 lbs. Although this is on the heavier end for my height, I'm curvy (pear shaped - nice hips, butt, thighs and smaller boobs). I have tailbone length hair, only wear lipgloss, and don't have issues with attention. I'm cute/pretty (not stunning etc. lol) and have a friendly personality.

One thing though, try gaining a little weight (10 lbs or so); it will work wonders. 95 lbs at your height is kinda small. Tailor your workout routine to enhance your curves - squats, lunges, rowing machine etc. Also, be sure to drink protein shakes after your workouts to encourage muscle development.

The biggest thing to remember is that you're not going to be everyone's type; like for me I tend to attract those who like hips, butt, thighs and the girl next door look lol. Just focus on looking your personal best and the guys drawn to your type will give you their attention.

Best of luck with everything.

CahiersDuVidya · 2019-03-03T02:24:01+00:00

Female advice: Put on weight, be confident.

Male advice: well...it sounds like you are slender, that's fine. A lot of guys like that (I do). Most of the 'you need curves' advice is reflexively sabotaging behavior/coping so take it with a grain of salt. One of the prettiest girl I dated was tiny with a young body like yours. Everyone thought she was gorgeous, so don't worry too much about your body type at all - guys dig it. Keep going to the gym, get toned, eat healthy. You having small hips/tits isn't the end of the world. You're still young so give it a little time and don't fret. And if your body stays like that - that's ok, you can still get by.

You've got good hair that is past your shoulders and you are growing it out. Perfect. Grow it out to be stripper long. Just past the waist. There's something about natural hair at that length that hits us like a great hip/waist ratio. It's a primal attraction.

Honestly, it sounds like your problem is your face. Which sucks as you can't do much about that sans plastic surgery (which I don't recommend for a lot of reasons). Make up can get you so far, but it isn't a real solution. The way you frame your hair might help...but I think it's just a bad card you got dealt. BUT it's not the end of the world at all.

You need to learn how to flirt. Which for girls is passively displaying interest and making yourself available and easily approachable. Too many girls lock themselves up in a prison and expect a guy to break in and woo them. Maintain eye contact with guys, make it obvious you are looking at them. Smile at them. Be pleasant. Avoid snark, or sarcasm, or negativity. If they talk to you, ask short, easy questions about the guy. If he's terrible at talking, encourage him. And do NOT jump into bed with guys who show you attention. A lot of gals think that giving a guy sex early on will really get his attention, but it is more likely to just make him lose interest or view you solely for sex. You are young right now and I do NOT recommend this at your current age. But when you hit around 20, date older. Youth is beauty. Older guys who are faced with dating marginally attractive women in their 30s or marginally unattractive women in their early 20s will usually choose youth. Keep working on yourself until that point.

MissNietzsche · 2019-03-01T21:29:41+00:00

I can assure you, there are many guy who would like you at that weight. I personally would love to have that BMI. Small is attractive. Most models have BMI's that low. You're most likely fine. If you want to tone up or gain weight in your glutes or whatever, that's fine, but I'm telling you now that lots of people probably do not find your weight unattractive.

mismeah · 2019-03-02T09:52:28+00:00

Check out the work of Kevin Aucoin . He’s got some really great books that inspired me when I was in my teens and still to this day . He shows before pics of people that some may think are not ‘ so attractive ‘and after pics of the same people where they are absolutely beautiful. Then he shows his technique and processes on how he transforms them . It really taught me that anyone can be as beautiful as they want with only a little bit of work . One of his books is titled ‘ face forward’ and another is ‘making faces’ . It because of his books I truly believe anyone can be attractive no matter what anyone may think or say . I definitely recommend checking these books out at library, or online , bookstore whatever .

Irl_girl · 2019-03-01T21:44:47+00:00

Thanks to technology, beauty can now be bought. Start hustling if you really want it. That may seem bleak but it’s an option.

Mollusc6 · 2019-03-01T22:37:53+00:00

Might want to check out your body type on the kibbes body type test. Sounds like your a dynamic gamin (smaller sharper person). Definitely lift weights at the gym to get the fill out you desire. Not 'toning' and staying 'lean' but building thicker stronger muscles can give you curve that your looking for. As for everyone thing else: most people are average, it sounds like your judging yourself against beautiful women. I do not get catcalled, i do not in fact get any attention from men. Men become interested in me most often because I intrigue their interest on a topic /opinion or hobby. I think you need to change your mindset a bit on that.

rachinq · 2019-03-02T05:03:11+00:00

Word of advice many of us feel unattractive in our teens and even early 20s it takes time to find your niche of attractiveness.

spiderdisconinja · 2019-03-02T06:07:56+00:00

YO WE'RE AT THE SAME HEIGHT AND WEIGHT! (Im actually half an inch taller but that's irrelevant)

1) you're gonna wanna just stand in front of a mirror normally and see if you can see your ribs without sucking in. If you cannot see your ribs, DON'T DO ANYTHING- YOU'RE AT A HEALTHY BODY FAT. I can't see my ribs either.

2) check your measurements, you may be curvier than you think just without fitting clothes. I wear size 0 pants (34in hip measurement) so you might think I have no ass, but the reality is that my frame is simply smaller, and I have a waist measurement of 21 inches, bust 32. HOWEVER, I will look flat to most people because clothes on the market will be too big at the waist, creating illusion of a bigger waist and worse proportions. If that's the case you need to tailor some stuff at the waist.

3) A doctor told me that a contributing factor to low BMI is long leg proportion, since legs apparently weigh less than guts per inch of height. So don't be surprised if long legs is a symptom.

If any of this makes sense, think of the body as two separate parts in terms of appearance- bones and fat. Tiny bones+LOTS o fat=normal person size. However on the other end, big bones+no fat also =normal person size. So naturally, a person with a light skeletal structure will always look to be more skinny than a larger skeletal structured person at the same fat percentage. So get your fat percentages checked, and if you're just small bones and normal fat, don't force any kind of weight gain because it can screw your body over in the long run.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-03-04T16:21:25+00:00

Honestly, there are men out there who will find your slender build attractive. You're young; give it time.

EosMermaidGoddess · 2019-03-01T21:34:53+00:00

At 95 pounds I'd highly reccommend gaining weight through body building. You cant control your breast size (though you can grow pecks underneath which will push them out a bit and thus make them appear larger) but you CAN build a butt. Just "go eat a burger" isnt enough, you have to be getting the right calories and macros. I'd start tracking calories in an app to make sure youre eating at a surplus and get into weight lifting. Check out BodiBiDay on YouTube. She was below 90 pounds when she started her fitness journey a few years ago and now she is 120 pounds and is booty-licious. I use her programs and Im in her Facebook support group "Fit Girl Squad" which is a great support system. Her programs are compatible for working out at the gym OR at home. Theyre inexpensive and highly effective. I cannot stress enough how much I reccomend her.

You can find her on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. Shes also highly responsive and does regular live streams. She has personally answered my questions dozens of times now.

Hannelore010 · 2019-03-02T18:48:54+00:00

Some men really like very slim, girlish looks (my dad is one of them; my mom was 105 and 5’7 when they married); others like some flesh to sink their fingers into (my husband is a little more like this, although maybe he’s adapted to my fleshing out after pregnancies; I was 125–probably my ideal weight, he knew me when I was 108, too— and 5’6 when we married)

Saigunx · 2019-03-01T22:42:38+00:00

Would you be comfortable posting to r/rateme or even r/amiugly?

Title	Being Unattractive
Author	0ureli
Upvotes	50
Comments	52
Date	March 1, 2019 8:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aw9ibq/being_unattractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/being-unattractive.220306 https://theredarchive.com/post/220306