I used to only buy expensive sunglasses. Oakleys, Ray Bans, Maui Jims etc.
I would buy one pair at a time, and every. single. time. something bad would happen to them.
One pair broke. One pair was stolen. One pair got sat on. One pair got scratched up.
Every time I would get angry as I felt the financial impact of my poor decisions, fuck ups and shitty luck. Sometimes a pair had been discontinued and I would never see them again.
I loved and lost pair after pair. The brutal cycle seemed infinite.
Then one day, when I had lost my latest pair, I was at a festival and someone handed me a cheap pair of promotional sunglasses.
Suddenly I saw the world through brand new lenses.
I took the new shades home. Wore them in my car. Tossed them across the room with reckless abandon. I scratched them, and didn’t care. This was great!
I did not care. Not caring was nice. I fell in love with not caring.
Then one day I wore them out to party. I had a blast. I was relaxed with nothing to worry about.
I woke up the next morning and my glasses were gone. Oh well... wait... what is that??
That horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach came back. I had grown attached to this pair just like the old.
I thought I had found the solution to rid myself of this pain and anxiety. What could I do?
MY sunglasses I loved so much were gone. I could fix this.
So I went online and found myself another cheap pair of wayfarers and all was good in the universe - or so I thought.
Then the first time I went out drinking, I felt a concern to protect my sunglasses. Why wouldn’t this feeling go away???
Somebody would pick them up off the counter and put them on, I would get angry and protective. But these were cheap sunglasses, what gives? I thought I didn’t care.
One time someone put them on and broke them. I was irrationally mad.
Then it hit me. I should buy multiple pairs! That way if anything happens to one pair, I would always have a backup.
I bought multiple pairs of the same style and things got a little bit better.
This was years ago. Over time I have become a collector cheap sunglasses. Every time I see a pair I like, I make a small investment and pick them up. I toss them around, sit on them, throw them on the ground and break them if I feel so inclined.
One day I wear wayfarers, one day it’s aviators, one day it’s something a little more sporty. It’s always different, always interesting, and always low stress.
I have so many pairs I gladly give them out to my friends. It ain’t no fun, if the homies can’t have none.
Life is grand. Stay shady.