Share your top leveling up strategy tested and worked for you

SarcasmSlide · 2020-03-21T01:32:44+00:00

Therapy. Therapy. Therapy.

siberiansummer · 2020-03-20T21:53:57+00:00

Developing confidence. I already said that on here a couple of times. But that’s how I got there. Act like you know what you are doing. No matter what. Hold your head high, shoulders straightened, make wide firm steps. Walk into a room like you own the place. Make eye contact. Say Hi. Smile when you feel like it. Practicing it will get you the real confidence. People start noticing it. You start believing in it. Don’t be afraid to sound stupid. Chances are people feel the same about themselves. If you feel awkward don’t show it. It all becomes your second nature. I do great at job interviews, I make a lot of friends, people notice my presence, I’m never afraid to ask questions, I’m never afraid to ask for help. It helped me whole a lot. I definitely was a shy girl in my early 20s and hated it. I’m now 32

FDSFemmeFatale · 2020-03-20T23:39:56+00:00

This might sound frivolous, but really indulging in clothes and things that are my style and desired quality level. Yes, it's easy to cheap out and buy low quality clothing and such, but I absolutely love adorning myself in original designs, soft leather, beautiful fabrics, lush perfume, and quality makeup. When I put together a look, I feel like a fucking queen and carry myself like one. The outer glow-up has been real this past year!

Yianna_F · 2020-03-20T22:04:34+00:00

Applying a female-and-personal-benefit analytical lens to everything when interacting with men and other people in general!

Asking me thinking about:

How does this help me?

How does this (action, mentality etc) help women?

Who truly benefits from it? And why?

What's the motive here?

What is he gaining out of this?

Does that mean I'm losing? If yes, in what way?

How can I change/ turn the tables on that/him?

What message will my reply or response give/imply both for now and for future reference?

Am I/ is this setting me up for failure?

Will this set up a precedence?

Can be applied to anything from LVM conversations, interactions with female friend, your friends and colleagues.

I always share this with women as it gives you a better understanding, helps build confidence, self appreciation and esteem, prioritise, remove guilt and reverse internalised issues and narratives.

Thanks for the post logician!

themissdaydreamer · 2020-03-20T23:16:20+00:00

my level up strategy was developing the willingness to give up on anything that doesnt work anymore. workplace, relationships, way of living, eating habbits, everything really. I no longer resent the effort I've had made to make those things work. They worked for as long as they meant to, and as soon as they stopped working, I let them go. It costed hurting some people, confusing others,. but I didn't look back.

jayda92 · 2020-03-20T22:25:29+00:00

Monogamous commitment before having sex. No exceptions..

redfarmmmmm · 2020-03-21T06:51:19+00:00

For me was simple but something that is Very and what most people have hard time sticking it to it. It’s staying present in the moment. We as a human tend to daydream and think of possibilities. So I always tell myself to think about the guy I’m dating or seeing only when I’m with him in person. I always try to stay in the moment and ask myself if he’s adding value to my life or not. I always ask myself if what he does makes me feel good. This is simple, but with this trick, I’m sure most women would stop struggling with so many dating and relationships issue.

WoolfMoonRoom · 2020-03-20T22:09:19+00:00

[deleted]

diva4lisia · 2020-03-20T22:50:37+00:00

Building financial strength. It's difficult getting by on one income which can be a reason to stay with a lvm. I stayed with my abusive ex-husband far too long because I was dependent on him. 18 months in and I'm still supporting myself and my two daughters on a single income, no child or spousal support in exchange for no contact with him. It's lovely. Cultivate your financial independence. It will keep you safe.

2020-03-20T22:15:29+00:00

Learning that "no" is a complete sentence not only when others say it, but also when I say it (the double standard is real!), and how to enforce it once I've decided it.

seraphinelysion · 2020-03-21T00:55:46+00:00

The biggest one I would say is learning to let things go and truly not have it affect you.

I just joined this sub and already I feel like I've read one too many "the audacity of scrote" posts on here with angry rants/comments. Just let it go. Don't bother responding to their messages. It just shows them that they got to you. Don't dignify them with your response. Don't acknowledge their existence. Drop it. Let it go. Move on. It's really not worth your time and energy to get upset and post it here to rile everyone else up about something that should have no significance in your life if you're truly leveling up. All that negativity isn't good for you either. Learn to let that shit go. It feels awesome to not have such trivial matters eat up your time, energy, and head space. Your life becomes so much more peaceful this way.

tauruspiscescancer · 2020-03-21T06:00:57+00:00

SET BOUNDARIES AND STICK TO THEM
grew more confidence within myself
took better care of myself (mentally and physically)
learned not to expect SHIT from anyone (because that leads recurrent disappointment 🤷🏾‍♀️)
learned to hold my tongue and save my energy for where it would be well spent

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-03-21T16:06:34+00:00

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I cannot recommend it enough and would yell it from rooftops if I could. There are 3 books by Dr. David Burns:

- Feeling Good: the new mood therapy

- Feeling Good together

- When panic attacks

I have these as audiobooks from Audible and I listen to them over and over and over again. I practice the techniques (monitoring thoughts, identifying cognitive distortions, coming up with positive thoughts as a substitute, and making sure the substituted thoughts are 100% valid and 100% true for me). CBT has led me to FDS. I used to be a monster Pickmeisha who followed the Catholic life script. I grew up in a very very strict religious cult, went to an all-girls school, did religious/church things 3-7 times a week and prayed to a god that hated me. It took a few years to get over the PICKMEISM mindset that resulted from my brainwashing.

Umm. Being ruthlessly picky has been my #2 strategy. I have had a new rule since 01/01/19 that has seriously improved my life. There are NO deadbeats left in my life. If a person isn't legitimately adding value or is in a neutral position to me, they are ghosted. This goes for family, friends, men, and coworkers. There are no exceptions. Either you are adding to my social, financial, or mental well being, or you are not (neutral). If your presence in my life is lowering my emotional, financial, physical, and mental well being, then I'm going to eventually cut ties and ghost you completely. This completely sucked. Most of 2019 was spent letting go of toxic family members, ghosting "friends" that were leeches, and ghosting useless men once their grand romantic gestures dried up. But I gotta say. 2020 is a LOT better, ESPECIALLY during this coronavirus crisis. I only worry about myself and other folks who are adding to my life or are neutral. I have no burdens to bear. I only gotta help out my parents and that's .... a special case. I have plenty of savings in case something happens and I'm mentally and emotionally in a place where I can handle this stress because I'm not constantly being drained by low-value men and low-value people in my life.

Word of caution... eliminating Low value people IS going to suck for a while. It's like drinking bitter, unpleasant medicine for an illness you need to get rid of. You're going to suffer side effects, and low-value people aren't going to make it easy for you to throw them out of your life. ESPECIALLY if they've been leeching off of you and depending on you for free shit and free emotional labor. So just be aware that it's going to suck for a while, but longterm??? Longterm you will learn to invest your precious mental and emotional energy and attention on people who deserve it and not people who drain it.

pinkyberries · 2020-03-20T22:05:14+00:00

Confidence.

People feel the energy you give, if you give a confident energy you will make LVM want to engage with you less and less as you are not a pawn to their games and breadcrumbing and show that you take no bs.

LVM sense your insecurity through texts and during dates so if you're insecure/think lowly of yourself - fake it till you make it.

AffectionateAvocado · 2020-03-21T00:45:31+00:00

I deleted my dating apps and got rid of LVM in the FB, instas, Snapchat.... not subscribing to r/dating (too many LVM to help)

99natas · 2020-03-21T01:14:20+00:00

Persistence.

Just keep going improve a little but every day.

Luck comes to those who work hard and try to position themselves in a wise way.

Those who gave up and went home, will not be around to collect their luck when it comes around.

2020-03-20T22:31:53+00:00

Learning to process my own emotions.

Title	Share your top leveling up strategy tested and worked for you
Author	logician01
Upvotes	46
Comments	41
Date	March 20, 2020 9:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fm3c8f/share_your_top_leveling_up_strategy_tested_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/share-your-top-leveling-up-strategy-tested-and.258389 https://theredarchive.com/post/258389

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