(Q4M) have you ever cheated on a girlfriend/wife? What was her reaction?

PPD-Angel · 2018-07-18T03:48:20+00:00

Okay, engage with other users in good faith.

MoodyBrizo · 2018-07-18T03:19:05+00:00

No. And when we were in the throes of break up she said "I wish you would flirt with more women. I want to feel like I won the prize". It's not hard to see how I ended up at TRP and the pillosphere.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-07-18T02:23:09+00:00

We were never officially dating so no I guess. Been accused of being an asshole for dating and pursuing multiple women at the same time though. Those girls acted like I cheated on them. So maybe yes in a way.

Their reaction to finding out I was pursuing multiple women was as if they discovered my hobby was punching babies for fun.

nomansweb · 2018-07-18T06:59:13+00:00

No, I haven't.

I've had occasional opportunities and I think there's some truth to the idea of preselection: if you already have a girlfriend/wife you're more likely to get other women to chase you than your identical twin who is single, of course part of it is also that your twin is going to be more nervous/outcome dependent.

Finally let's not forget some men cheat with women less attractive than their partner so in that sense it's not true that most men never get the opportunity. After all, even most single men occasionally get an offer from an uggo/fattie.

TRP can be such an echo chamber for men's insecurities. It would be so much better for these guys' sanity if they remembered even chad sleeps with uggos or fatties most of the time and is often full of shit (or he really has low standards) when he brags about all the HB8+ girls he sleeps with.

Eastuss · 2018-07-18T08:48:28+00:00

Yes.

She was super pissed, we're still together 8 years after and it still has consequence on our relationship, on her behaviour, her jealousy, ect...

This was in a college context, we weren't living together. If I wanted to cheat now that I work and am living with her, that would be extremely more difficult.

Otherwise, my total N count is 3, people think that because I cheated that mean I can manage to get a woman whenever I want, which is load of bullshit.

abaxeron · 2018-07-18T03:05:10+00:00

My LTR count is merely 3. Zero times a cheater, two times cheated on. Roughly the same situation among my two male family members.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-07-18T02:34:58+00:00

I'll go ahead and share the story of the first gf I cheated on. I was a very young man who lacked confidence and was very happy to have a gf who was thin. Since it was so rare for me to end up with a thin gf who could wear a bikini I just stopped my gf search right with her.

Two years later after struggling with pushing her to do something, anything, with her life? She had a high school diploma, still refused to get a job and claimed her made up girl disease of fibromyalgia prevented her from working, wasn't going to go to college and let's be honest here wasn't smart enough to go to college, and was basically just coasting along as my girlfriend waiting for me to finish university. I was getting close to graduation. She was starting to bug me about her moving in.

And at the same time she stopped wanting to have sex. She started to refuse sex, accuse me of only wanting sex, and pushed me away.

I still had friends and some of my friends were women. One of them was clearly attracted to me and myself attracted to her in return. She was not as good looking at my girlfriend but she was smarter, had already graduated college a year before me, and wasn't just coasting along doing nothing. Oh the ex gf still lived with her parents.

So one night I invited this other girl over, we started banging, and basically from that point on the new girl got all of my attention. I didn't really care what my gf did, said, thought, wanted, or anything really. I totally checked out.

She confronted me a month into me being into this other girl. She came over. I tried to initiate sex and she pushed me away and told me that I needed to change. I looked at her and said no, you need to change. She burst into tears and ran out of my apartment and I never saw her again.

SerpentCypher · 2018-07-18T06:52:21+00:00

Nope. I'm just not wired that way i guess. Since I met my gf other women are just kind of invisible to me in a sexual sense, cliche as it sounds, they may as well be men. It's quite confusing as it was never that way with my ex, despite us having a decently lengthy relationship that spanned multiple years. Even then though I kept my nose clean and cheating never really occurred to me and I never desired to cheat.

Never been cheated on either, to my knowledge.

passepar2t · 2018-07-18T03:06:08+00:00

I'm a competent cheater, who never makes exclusivity promises and never gets caught. So I guess I'm not really a cheater. Hence the competence.

ConfidentConifer · 2018-07-18T07:59:38+00:00

I had one long-term girlfriend that I couldn't quite get to go away. So, I "cheated" on her to put an end to it.

I mean, I told her I was on my way to do it, as I was doing it. Dunno if it counts as cheating if you aren't even hiding it.

With other girls, what I did if I was going to "cheat" was just not tell them. That makes it less complicated because you don't have to have some big dumb discussion and crying fit.

EdwardBarnes1913 · 2018-07-18T09:18:47+00:00

Anger but passionate anger.

Never ended a relationship I didn’t want to end. They always wanted to “win me back” and hated the other girl more.

Not what I expected at all pre RP knowledge.

I’d end a relationship for much less so projected I suppose.

themormonchurch · 2018-07-20T16:41:51+00:00

she cried. then she fucked me more

reluctantly_red · 2018-07-18T02:28:42+00:00

I cheated on my first wife at least twenty times. I did lover her (part of me still does) but she refused to do a lot of things I wanted to do. We were also way too young to be a family with kids. She put up with my behavior and I put up with hers. It worked pretty well until she picked up a drug habit.

I never cheated on my second wife. I thought I'd found a unicorn but she turned out to be quite ordinary indeed. She cheated on me -- and lied -- and stole from a family trust ... . When I started reading TRP it was like they had all met my second wife. TRP described her to a T. I have no residual love for her whatsoever.

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[deleted] · 2018-07-18T03:36:27+00:00

Never cheated on anyone in my short life. Cheated by half my exes.

[deleted] · 2018-07-18T08:57:12+00:00

Many women have considered it cheating that I was considering and taking other opportunities than them while in a sexual relationship with them. The reaction was in some cases a sense of righteous anger and destruction of my property and the telling of damaging lies. In many cases I've "cheated" with a woman, but it was just a coincidence that I found out. Those times threats on my life were sometimes made by other men.

The strong neurosis people have about cheating would easily be mitigated by not having traditional relationships. There's really no immediate or accumulating return by subscribing to traditional thought and remaining faithful. Really, only loss accumulates.

[deleted] · 2018-07-18T11:10:22+00:00

Nope I have never cheated. I've had the opportunity to but never did it.

I have been cheated on once, possibly twice. Both times during my teen years so it doesn't still bother me as an adult tbh.

wtknight · 2018-07-18T12:28:41+00:00

I’ve never cheated. My friends have always been the type, like me, who were lucky just to get one woman to be attracted to them.

SlimLovin · 2018-07-18T14:00:27+00:00

Nope. Never cheated. Not even once.

petrichordium · 2018-07-18T14:33:46+00:00

I am friends with all of my exes besides one. I’ve had open relationships with all my exes besides one. Same girl. Below is stuff I’m genuinely ashamed about even if i phrase it humorously. Learned my lesson.

She knew all about my preferences as we were close friends before dating (take that “friendzone” dudes). Bad idea but i tried giving it a go. I behaved for a full year but eventually started slipping.

By the time I got caught, I had cheated on her with a freshman at Harvard, a sophomore at Harvard, a senior at Wellesley, and a stripper in my hometown. Oddly enough, i went on a date with the roommate of a friend of ours from another city. That’s how i got caught. Small world.

She flipped out on me and took it WAY, Way harder than i had anticipated she would. I truly genuinely thought she’d be slightly hurt at worst? I lost most acquaintances from our mutual friend group. Deserved it, i guess. We still started sleeping together again when she felt like it but the damage was pretty fatal to our connection romantically.

TLDR: no more cheating. Honesty and communication and only dating other non monogamous people from now on.

Entropy-7 · 2018-07-18T23:40:10+00:00

I've never outright cheated on a girlfriend. There have been several ambiguous situations where I break things off or a girl torches our relationship and then she gets incensed because I am fucking someone else shortly thereafter.

I can only think of one case where I cucked another guy. I didn't know she was married until I was at her place and she - an aspiring fashion model - was evidently DTF while her navy husband was floating about in the Atlantic for 6 months.

MMDT · 2018-07-18T03:11:27+00:00

I cheated on my gf several times. I simply don't view hooking up with another girl as cheating. It doesn't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. I have no more emotional investment in that hookup than I would jerking off. Hooking up with a girl is just an elaborate way to jerk off really.. Whether my dick goes into my hand or into a random girl, doesn't make much difference really.

I just do it from time to time when i have the craving for something fresh. Once it's out of my system I feel much more energized and excited to meet my gf .

I've told her my philosophy on this and tbh she probably wouldn't be surprised to learn I've done it a few times. Actually at the start she asked me "have you slept with other girls since me" and my answer was along the lines of "not at this moment, but I suggest you try to resist asking this question in the future because I will always answer honestly and it may be an answer you don't like." Since then she never asked.

And yes I've been with girls who are cheating on their bf. Usually it's the case that they feel very bored with him and have already emotionally "broke up" with him

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-07-18T15:42:49+00:00

Yeah I've cheated on girlfriends. Never on my wife.

They were pissed. Disappointed. A couple of them broke up with me. The usual.

Title	(Q4M) have you ever cheated on a girlfriend/wife? What was her reaction?
Author	BearSaint
Upvotes	8
Comments	110
Date	July 18, 2018 2:11 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8zrf7u/q4m_have_you_ever_cheated_on_a_girlfriendwife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-have-you-ever-cheated-on-a-girlfriendwife-what.261484 https://theredarchive.com/post/261484

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