Q4M: Have you ever been told by a woman that she "doesn't have sex so quickly" or "I need to get to know you a little better first"?

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-04-15T21:46:23+00:00

I'd say that's the norm. Most women have no interest in sleeping with strangers. Even amongst my female friends with the highest n-counts barely any of them ever had a ONS with someone they didn't at least knew a little bit.

Sure if you pick up one of these chicks in a night club she most likely won't make you wait (and you absolutely should use a condom), but if you aren't picking her up in a meat market the rules are different.

For example if you met her through common friends or interests having to wait until you two feel comfortable enough to make that next step isn't uncommon. She won't share her secrets with someone she just met and she also won't let anyone she just met see her naked.

Don't even see a problem with that. You hang out a couple of times, slowly build up more and more tension and break the ice until it ends in a drunken hookup one day that hopefully will become a long lasting FWB.

abicus4343 · 2017-04-16T06:23:30+00:00

I'm a woman and I always say these things if a man is pushing me to have sex before I am comfortable. I always mean exactly what I am saying, it has nothing to do with not being attracted enough to a man to not have sex right away. If I am not attracted to a man i wouldn't even be on a date with him in the first place. I need a certain level of comfort and connection before I can have sex with someone.

Gorgatron1968 · 2017-04-15T22:32:04+00:00

Yes, I have had it and some of the reasons were:

They were inexperienced and really wanted to wait because they wanted to be more comfortable first.
They wanted it to be more romantic and special.

Gorgatron1968 · 2017-04-15T23:08:00+00:00

When I am told these kind of things it makes me think that she is not a hoe looking for a rando dong. It's never been a outright denial , it was more time thing. A day, A week.

cxj · 2017-04-15T21:24:12+00:00

I've been told this lots of times.

"I want to go slow with you."
"I need to know you better first."
"I don't like rushing into sex."
"I don't want to be just another of your girls."

No idea why this would make me feel less confident, it didn't. Some I eventually hooked up with, some I dated for a while, some I just stayed friends with. If the chemistry was really strong between us I would be more likely to wait, if we were just an okay connection I would get bored having to wait and usually wander off to find someone new to play with.

I just stated my attraction, left the ball in her court. If she wanted to we did. If she didn't, we just stayed friends.

Entropy-7 · 2017-04-16T00:08:50+00:00

I honestly can't remember any girl being that explicit. By the end of the first date, either the chemistry was there or it wasn't. I have had only one or two violations of the "three date rule". I've had a number of weird cases.

I did have a one case of a young girl who did not want to meet for lunch because she thought I just wanted sex. Of course, we met for lunch and had sex that evening.

I actually like women and like spending time with them.

1) If they are interesting enough in their own right, then if they want to say that sex is off the table, then fine

2) Women are full of shit

If a woman said something like that to me, it doesn't affect my confidence but rather indicates her own insecurities. Again, I have never had a woman be that explicit. If she has to say it out loud, there is some issue that she is dealing with and it doesn't reflect on you.

The caveat here is that I mostly do internet dating and I don't follow the rule that it is just for hookups and logistics. I chit chat with them so by the time we meet is is usually a done deal.

Notherboyfriend · 2017-04-16T06:19:32+00:00

A version of 2, didn't bother me. I was DFT, it took her a little time. It might have been different if the following sex was infrequent or shitty, but we're great on that front.

SeemedGood · 2017-04-16T06:25:22+00:00

Yes, and it's rarely true but pleasant to find when it is as it means that the woman is at least somewhat carefully deliberating her choices about sharing her sexual energy, which further means that she is checking her natural inclinations toward dichotomous hypergamy, which further means that she has the potential to make some man an extraordinary partner.

But that only applies if she's telling every guy that. And that's the part that's rarely true. I've known plenty of women that say that to some guys, or even many guys, or even all guys until...

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funny_lyfe · 2017-04-15T21:48:50+00:00

Nope if a girl says that I will wait up to a 2-3 weeks. That's like 6 dates, however if we are doing that she has to help pay for the dates.

It's unfortunate that there are a lot of women taking the poor beta male out on a ride. Free meals for life and won't even kiss them properly.

[deleted] · 2017-04-15T22:36:49+00:00

I've heard it, but most of the time they don't mean it.

bonerdude420 · 2017-04-15T23:27:32+00:00

When i first spoke with my now wife about sex she said she was saving her virginity for marriage. But we still didnit later that night

says_harsh_things · 2017-04-15T23:54:43+00:00

Honestly, no. Usually theyd ask something to the effect of 'youre not just going to leave after are you?'

But they never made me wait

DevilsFriend666 · 2017-04-16T01:18:17+00:00

Heard it many times. It's a lie. She knows damn well if a guy makes her panties wet enough she'd fuck him without even asking his name.

It's a test. Don't even let it phase you. Keep your options open and move on if she doesn't put out quick enough.

No less confident, just makes me think she likes mind games and is a waste of time.

[deleted] · 2017-04-16T02:04:56+00:00

Honestly no. In the circles I move in the pattern is generally "fuck a few times first, then date maybe"

despisedlove2 · 2017-04-16T06:17:52+00:00

Both the women I have been in LTRs with wanted to get physical with me before I asked them.

wvj · 2017-04-16T09:50:48+00:00

Being as I've dated like a normal person, yes?

If things are going well, it's not uncommon to hear something like this framed alongside something more encouraging, ie 'I don't do this right away... but I want to do this again' 'I want to get to know you more', etc. In that case, and it doesn't seem like they're BSing, I have no problem with it and I'm usually happy to play along.

[deleted] · 2017-04-16T11:14:14+00:00

Nope, never. This happens way more often in movies and TV than real life lol.

youcantdenythat · 2017-04-16T12:34:49+00:00

Back when I was blue pill I took those things at face value.

Now I know it's one of three things:

She's very attracted to me but her ASD is kicking in, if I keep escalating at a slower pace she will eventually give in to her desire.
She's not very attracted to me, she's using sex as a "carrot on a stick" in an attempt to manipulate me into orbiting her, etc.
She's attracted to me but she is also trying to use sex as a "carrot on a stick". Basically a shit-test.

Pretty basic stuff

CoffersWorthington · 2017-04-16T15:03:30+00:00

I've told this to several women but haven't heard it from any. I might be abnormal because I like to take some acclimation before sex happens.

[deleted] · 2017-04-16T23:53:43+00:00

That's just womanese for "you aren't physically attractive enough for me to fuck on the first date"

wtknight · 2017-04-15T22:11:59+00:00

No, I've never been told this, but I've never tried to have sex on an early date with a woman.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-04-15T21:35:31+00:00

No. That hasn't been an issue for me.

TheBlackQuill · 2017-04-15T23:19:09+00:00

Yes, all the time. ''I am not a slut.''

''I don't do that.''

''I take time to get to know.''

which is just female doublespeak to , '' I am not a slut with YOU'' and '' I take it up the ass while fucking a girl with Chads, just not with you.''

😒

Title	Q4M: Have you ever been told by a woman that she "doesn't have sex so quickly" or "I need to get to know you a little better first"?
Author	soccerstar77
Upvotes	11
Comments	141
Date	April 15, 2017 9:16 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/65lhhm/q4m_have_you_ever_been_told_by_a_woman_that_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-have-you-ever-been-told-by-a-woman-that-she.268854 https://theredarchive.com/post/268854

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