Q4RP -- what advice would you give a female virgin?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-01-18T05:38:41+00:00

My advice would be don't ask men for advice

SirNemesis · 2017-01-18T02:36:35+00:00

Whatever you do, do not give u/SirNemesis your number.

Anywho, find a nice Christian guy. An attractive one with confidence and everything but one who has chosen to not be a 'player.' Find him, but dont have sex with him immediately. Wait until you know he's the one, and make sure he knows that you are wife material.

Right now you are at PEAK SMV, as TRP would say. There are very few girls like you. Make use of it.

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-18T02:33:19+00:00

RIP your inbox.

super-commenting · 2017-01-18T03:35:03+00:00

I think a lot of guys will be more accepting of you wanting to wait if they know that you're a virgin. The reason men are advised to avoid women who make them wait is that sometimes that is a sign that the woman isn't very attracted to him on a physical level and only wants him for his providership and comfort AKA beta bucks. However if they know the reason you are wanting to wait is that you are a virgin that will be more acceptable. Just make sure to express attraction and interest in other ways. Don't be afraid to text first or ask him out on dates. Make sure he feels like you like him and respect him and don't just like the attention he gives you and the stuff he buys you.

SilentLurker666 · 2017-01-18T03:22:55+00:00

I'll give you the same advice as I'll give to a 21 year old male virgin: Beauty fades, intelligence and knowledge endures. There's no insurance that the whoever you hooked up with won't leave you for another, so the only thing that you can hold on are the things that you've earned for yourself.

aka. Focus on your education in university instead of dating and getting your MRS.

hepzibae · 2017-01-18T11:39:23+00:00

My advice to you is forget this pill bullshit, and live your life. Blue Pill vs Red Pill is literally Hollywood fantasy vs Pseudoscience. Be honest with yourself and others, don't be desperate, do what you want, provided that it isn't harmful for you or others, and of course, be careful.

hepzibae · 2017-01-18T03:12:19+00:00

Don't bother talking to me because I am not sexually attracted to virgins regardless of how hot you might be, lol.

So then there's me. I am a 21 year old virgin, attending a University, pretty attractive, fit. What advice would you give me while dating, knowing that I am not willing to have sex early on in a relationship?

Chads aren't going to wait around for you to marry them, so put out or fuck off lol.

tiposk · 2017-01-18T03:44:53+00:00

Meet new people and have sex when you feel comfortable. Don't push yourself to have sex because you need to and don't prevent sex from happening because rules.

If you don't mind me asking you: is there any reason you're still a virgin?

SexyMcSexington · 2017-01-18T04:49:23+00:00

I don’t think female virginity is a big deal these days—either having it or not. You shouldn’t get heartbroken if your first dumps you, but neither should you just swipe right on Tinder to get rid of it ASAP. Just treat it at least as much as you’d treat sex. You should state up front with a new partner that you are a virgin because that will save or excuse a lot of mechanical awkwardness!

DucksCanDance · 2017-01-18T02:40:34+00:00

It depends what your goals are , different goals call for different strategies

SirNemesis · 2017-01-18T02:56:44+00:00

Find inhibited guys. Engineering majors or some shit. They may be more willing to wait. Or demisexuals, but those are rare and closeted unless you are in liberal hippieville.

ContrarianZ · 2017-01-18T04:34:55+00:00

Well 1 and 3 seem pretty contradictory... If only there were an endless supply of virgins willing to have sex quickly in a relationship...

If you find a guy you like, you're sexually attracted to him, have nothing against casual/premarital sex, have a high confidence he's not using you, then have sex with him.

You're welcome.

[deleted] · 2017-01-18T04:38:36+00:00

A virgin is different then a girl that gave it up to a dozen guys and now wants to wait.

Find ya a nice tradcon.

anitapk · 2017-01-18T05:02:29+00:00

Do not take advice from men such as to give it off quickly.

I'd personally make sure you know how to please yourself so you're not completely off guard then look for someone a couple of years (3-10) older.

darksoldierk · 2017-01-18T06:19:18+00:00

Uh, advice relating to what? To your virginity? Well, I'd say "good for you" I guess? I'm confused. Are you asking how you fit into RP theory?

RP is a reaction to the actions of the majority of women. Virgins are desirable to men, as they have always been, but in our current society, the vast majority of women are not virgins. And many women do get "pumped and dumped", again, I don't know how this relates to your post. Are you asking why you haven't been pumped and dumped? I don't know, maybe you haven't prioritized relationships as high in your life as other women have. If I was dating you though, if you haven't put out by the 3rd date, I would probably not show up to a 4rth. I wouldn't say I'm RP, but, this is the way the dating world works. Women have to put out fast if they like the guy and want to have a relationship with him.

If you are that reserved about your sexuality, than that kind of screams "insecure" to me, which is not something I want to deal with.

[deleted] · 2017-01-18T08:30:46+00:00

When you meet the right guy, you'll be willing to have sex early in the relationship. My wife's situation was similar. She met me and was no longer a virgin in about 7 days. She's not religious, so when it was right, it was right. Your best bet is to only date people who are serious about finding a long term partner. They do exist, even in college.

FairlyNaive · 2017-01-18T09:27:42+00:00

Enjoy your life.

GaiusScaevolus · 2017-01-18T17:07:33+00:00

Firstly, advice from TRP isn't really for you. It's exclusively male centered, and while you can benefit from it, it is male advice for males. I'd recommend asking RPW for a better take.

That said,

If you really are a pretty attractive, fit, 21 year old attending University, you shouldn't really have trouble getting prospects. As far as holding off on sex, the main concerns guys have in waiting are that they're being used or that the girl isn't really attracted to him. The trick to putting off sex while still holding onto the guy is to assuage those fears. That means;

Be honest: Be upfront about your limits, and your reasoning. In this part, being a virgin works massively in your favor, since he won't be comparing himself to other guy you didn't make wait.
Be sexual: This could be tougher for you depending on how strict your definition of 'virgin' is, and where you draw the line on physical intimacy. The point is he has to stay convinced that you're physically into him, or he'll bail.

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exit_sandman · 2017-01-18T11:00:52+00:00

How to avoid being pumped and dumped:

if a guy has a reputation for being a player; cross him off your list, even if he's the most charming mofo around - odds are better women than you have already tried to lock him down and failed. Actually, if he's the most charming mofo around, it's basically guaranteed.
avoid putting out early on on principle - not as some sort of mind game, but simply to filter out the guys who are only after the next lay. If a guy is genuinely interested, not getting a hole-in-one won't put him off.

How to qualify for a relationship:

have realistic and attainable standards: if all the guys you consider hot enough either aren't interested in seriously dating you; you should aim lower. If all the guys you consider interesting are players, you should rethink your dating criteria.
be likable and cultivate an open personality: i.e. don't be derisive, snotty, arrogant, sneering, guarded, stand-offish, cold etc.

The second part is almost more important than the first. I have two particular women in mind I know who sucked at getting dates: the first was actually pretty okay on paper (smart, ambitious, slim, okay face) but was fixated on getting a guy who was still above her league (some professional soccer player she fleetingly knew); and on top of that also cultivated an unlikable personality (i.e. she did everything I just told you to avoid). She was a virgin until the age of 26 when she found her first boyfriend. The other woman was basically her polar opposite (fat, unattractive face, lazy, below average intelligence) and tremendously slutty, however, she also had pretty unreasonable standards (she wanted a guy who was hung, muscular, generous, handsome and let her fuck other dudes), and she cultivated an unlikable (even plain uninteresting) personality. Don't know if she'll ever find a relationship.

So yeah. This is just a short brainstorming, there's more to it than that, but acknowledging this can't hurt.

alreadyredschool · 2017-01-18T11:11:07+00:00

You are young and attractive? Go out with a guy and let him escalate at a pace you are comfortable with, like sex at the 6th date. If you can't work on your personality.

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-18T13:19:36+00:00

Shit. Fucking do what you want.

You want to fuck around? Do. You'll be less fit to a monogamous relationship afterwards, but that'll be the "natural" you. Just, PLEASE, don't think such women are as fit as you are yourself now for monogamy, if it happens that you change your mind and want monogamy in the future.
You want to find a monogamous guy? Do. Don't be stupid, it's REALLY easy to tell apart men looking into fun and blue pilled men. Go for the second. Chances are they'll look less attractive.
Don't worry a lot if you change your mind and decide to fuck around after some time (you'll be pushed to it, you'll need to make conscious effort not to do it). We'll be waiting for him at TRP.

Falkner1992 · 2017-01-18T13:42:50+00:00

I'd advise you to reconsider your position.

I take it like the large majority of women you're only interested in top men? If that's the case, being prudish is a surefire way to make sure they won't give you the time of day.

despisedlove2 · 2017-01-18T15:00:08+00:00

Hold on to your V card. Trade it in for a marriage card with the right man once you are ready, after college.

That is the way most women did it 2-3 generations ago, and they had very low divorce rates.

There are a lot of people around you, especially blue pillers, whose existential misery is so deep that they will always try to make you feel that you have some disease if you are a virgin. Ignore them.

Entropy-7 · 2017-01-18T17:43:59+00:00

Work it. Keep in mind that RP guys bifurcate: they fuck slutty chicks and pine after a v-card for an LTR. If you want to "save it for the right guy" then don't create that cognitive dissonance by giving out Bjs and such.

You should probably look for a guy who has been around the block a few times and legitimately wants to settle down. YMMV but I am thinking late 20s or early 30s.

Some guys say "No hymen, no diamond" and the female version is "on with the ring before in with the thing".

MrGunny · 2017-01-18T18:45:09+00:00

I'll state my thoughts and let you consider whether they have merit.

Why do you value retaining your virginity? To avoid being labeled a slut? Sex is a healthy part of long term relationships, and TRP doesn't look down on women who have had sex in the context of long term relationships (Low N count). Even if SOME people on TRP don't give sex in LTRs a pass, and fetishize virginity, the vast majority of society isn't going to fault you for sleeping with a long term boyfriend.
What/who are you waiting for? The "perfect" man? Do you want your next relationship to be your last and feel that your virginity is a bargaining chip in this aspect? This is an important question. If you're just casually dating, and not finding men interested in long term relationships, then you're going to have to keep treading water until you do. Maybe you want a slightly older man, later 20's or early 30's who is successful, out of college, (alpha?) and ready for a lasting relationship. These men don't grow on trees, but if your Tinder filter is looking for men ages 18-22, and your standards are super high, then you're going to have an almost impossible task. Highly successful, attractive, stable men, looking for long term relationships in their late teens to early 20's is a vanishingly small demographic. So, either go older, or look for guys who are focusing on making themselves high value, and then attach yourself early.

Examine your motivations, make yourself the woman that a high value man wants to be with and you will be found.

[deleted] · 2017-01-18T23:36:23+00:00

Save it, be extra discerning/moral(staying fit is part of good morality) and you can become a millionaire married to an alpha Chad with Beta traits.

Title	Q4RP -- what advice would you give a female virgin?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	150
Date	January 18, 2017 2:30 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5omnwz/q4rp_what_advice_would_you_give_a_female_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4rp-what-advice-would-you-give-a-female-virgin.270569 https://theredarchive.com/post/270569

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