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Relapse and Hysterical Bonding

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October 29, 2019
8 upvotes

Gents,

I’ve lost my fucking way. I swallows the pill 3 years ago. Never posted much because my journey was mine and I didn’t know how much it would actually add to the community. In the last year, I made several terrible decisions that led to me tearing my freshly laid brick frame to pieces. I’m getting started now on going through the side bar again. I’ve already skimmed Athol’s Marriage Attraction, and I have Rational Male cued up next.

I’m sitting here after the worst month of my life and just trying to climb out of the fucking hole. Ive put a barrel in my mouth twice and if it wasn’t for my kids I probably would have done it.

I need a quick shot of adrenaline guys, I’m in financial ruin, in a decent job, and I’m failing to lead on a massive scale. I for whatever reason have burdened my wife as my unicorn saviors and canNot seem to get anything right when gage is not with me. I am consistently fucking up to the detriment of myself and my family.

What would be your best next step for someone that needs to get out of the hole and start moving forward. I need to break the HB so that I’m able to get my personal agency and mobility back. I know some of this is victim puke, but I’m at the end of my fucking rope.


Post Information
Title Relapse and Hysterical Bonding
Author ErosofTitan
Upvotes 8
Comments 63
Date 29 October 2019 06:13 AM UTC (12 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/293164
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dolurb/relapse_and_hysterical_bonding/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameHBunicorn
Comments

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not make a temporary problem a permanent one by killing yourself. Get help now. The first step is to call a suicide prevention hotline. 1-800-273-8255

Get into therapy, exercise your body and your demons in your head and start to lead.

[–]Bcomingr8 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]JameisBong 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Get into therapy ASAP,get your finances in order,lift and then slowly work through whatever is happening. How did you lose 3 years of work?Did something happen that threw you off completely? Is it something you could have avoided? Suicide is not the answer, don't do it. Trust me I've tried and obviously failed.

[–]floatingsidewalk 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Take your guns to a trusted friend or family member. Today. Remove the temptation entirely. The last thing your family needs is an extra hole in your head. As a matter of fact, they probably would like to see the one under your nose shut more often.

Take simple steps. For example, isolate your daily actions in life down to 3 Do and don'ts: - Do Pick up something heavy over and over each day. - Do Read something positive each morning AND apply it throughout your day.
- Do write down your plan each week and track your progress. Keep a copy on your phone and pull it out in the morning, lunch and before bed to see if you are on track. - Don't spend money you don't have. Instead of buying coffee or lunches, go to the store and buy $20 worth of basic ingredients and USE THAT. - Don't focus on your relationship problems all day long. Close the fucking browser and do some push-ups. BTW, they don't cost anything. - Don't be around people who negatively engage you. Create some distance until you can engage constructively.

One run doesn't make you lean, one burger doesn't make you fat. Both affect you thru long term micro adjustments.

Take simple actionable steps and you will be just fine...

[–]Perfectinmyeyes 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff. Get that gun out of your house as the guy mentioned.

[–]SepeanRed Beret 23 points24 points  (12 children) | Copy

You don't need the red pill as much as you need some basic direction and self discipline, you need an escape from this negative spiral of depression --> lack of effort -> repeat that you're in.

Look up Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. That's what you need, it'll help you get out of your hole and begin building a better life. This is something that you do for you, to get your shit in order and build some character, so you can take care of you and your family. Don't expect your wife to suck your dick for doing any of that, Peterson is clueless about attraction and thinks it is about beta game. You got the red pill for advice on girls. But he's your guy for getting out of the hole and getting your shit together, and that's your problem.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

No matter how shit life gets for any man, its never worth putting a gun to your head.

Try and look at this low point in your life as a starting block for getting your shit together. If you're at rock bottom and still here, searching for a way up, you are in a good place because there is only one direction you can go now and everything will become incredible for you as you progress.

Take step one, complete step one and internalise your result. Move onto step two only once step one is complete. Make small progressive steps.

It's tough to advise what step one should be, knowing so little about how you got to rock bottom, but like others have suggested, lift is a good starting point. With your wife, STFU when it comes to defending yourself or any bullshit she throws at you. That would probably be the best step one. Once you establish this at a consistent level, move onto step two. Step two could be working on your frame again and learning fresh what frame is and what it means to you.

Step. By. Step.

Don't rush anything.

Enjoy the small progressions and climb out of your hole.

You can do this.

[–]Bcomingr8 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You already winning in my book, wife, kids, well paying job... I wish I had a kid or kids

[–]simbarlionRed Beret 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well you could be dead or dying.

But you're not.

Carpe diem.

[–]helaughsinhidden 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not tell the wife about being suicidal, she can't help and won't help. It will cause her to actually lose attraction and respect for you. Talk to a man, whom you respect and admire, repeatedly over a long period of time.

Options:

  1. Get to a real therapist in real life.

  2. Get to a church and meet with a pastor.

  3. Find a mentor on here or r/rpchristians you really connect with and respect their input. I'll post some names I'd recommend later. Are you a believer or not for the purpose of making better recommendations?

[–]khalabrakis 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have 4 very simple rules for improving your life.

  1. Be grateful, if you're not, everything will suck. Find the good in things.

  2. Work hard, humans are meant to move and do things. Use your body and make use of it to the fullest.

  3. Make it right, everyone has problems and some are unavoidable and unsolvable without a time machine. Making things right improves your universal karma, and rids you of unneccesary guilt.

  4. Keep evolving, don't make the same stupid mistake twice, if you do, you're fucking off and not improving your situation at all.

The final bit is to live your life in the present and let the universe guide you, you never know how good it can really get.

[–]EasyDaysHardNights 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've been in the hole you are in. Here's the first two steps I used to crawl my way out.

Breathe

There is no separation at the moment between you and your emotions. You ARE your emotions and they are whipping you about. There are a handful of processes we have that can be consciously controlled that directly affect our subconscious and as a result our emotions. A simple box breathing technique will help you get a wedge between you and your emotions so you can become an observer of them again.

Breath in for 5 seconds, then hold for 5 seconds, then out for 5 seconds, then hold for 5 seconds. Repeat until you are in control again.

Do it right now. Do it any time you need to stabilize. Once you're stable. Watch these two videos.

Part 1. 18 minutes

Part 2 26 minutes.

Complete a simple physical task. Congratulate yourself for it.

Due to poor decisions, you have a loss of self-confidence. This is why you asked your wife to help you sort the car situation. You are deferring to someone else because you don't trust yourself. Find something, anything you think you can do, and complete it. Make your bed. Empty the dishwasher. Do a load of laundry. Find something ... anything ... and complete it. Then when it's done ... point at it and say ... "I did that." Prove to yourself you're not totally incompetent. Return to yourself a sense of agency. That you can take care of yourself. Then find something else to do. Take a shower, get dressed, go outside. After each one of those, congratulate yourself again. Repeat on slightly bigger and bigger tasks. Celebrate the wins.

Breath, get up ... go. You can do this.

[–]egc6 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never posted much because my journey was mine and I didn’t know how much it would actually add to the community.

If you are taking about not posting to the OYS posts, shut the fuck up. You didn’t post out of fear and ego. And you didn’t swallow shit. The fact that you mention hysterical bonding in the title and then make no mention of you cheating on your wife makes me think you are using is wrong. What is it you are calling hysterical bonding?

I’m sitting here after the worst month of my life and just trying to climb out of the fucking hole. Ive put a barrel in my mouth twice and if it wasn’t for my kids I probably would have done it.

Double shut the fuck up. Apparently you fucked up and put yourself in this situation. I went though a suicidal period when I was young and in a hopeless situation with no control over my life. I know how strong those feelings are, especially the hopelessness. You are a grown fucking adult now though. Nothing is outside your control. If your brain chemistry is fucked, go see a professional. If you are throwing a pity party because of your own actions, shut the fuck up and take real ownership. If you aren’t sure which, maybe call the hotline. I don’t know, but I doubt you get much sympathy in here.

What would be your best next step for someone that needs to get out of the hole and start moving forward.

Absolutely basics mother fucker, how do you do anything? One step at a time. You seem to both acknowledge things are your fault but also give off a woe is me vibe. Get all that bitch out your system and start over. Start posting to the OYS. Beyond that focus on improving your body and mind. Lifting isn’t an option. Neither is just reading without internalizing. And do you really need to be told how to be a responsible adult with finances? What is this financial ruin?

[–]Rivet22 -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is oys?

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look in the mirror and confront the person that out you in this position. Until you fully accept your failures and discontinue making trite statements about the severity of your fuckups you will be stuck here as the Mayor of shit town.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You didn’t swallow shit.

Quit fucking lying to yourself.

Meal prep, lay out your clothes for work, take the time to choose each outfit, clean the the house, set all fuvking things in order. Find something you like in your job, there has got to be something.

STFU to your hamster and quit feeding your insecurities to it

[–]vithus_inbau 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop the comparison game.

Honestly when I stopped comparing myself to other people and thinking "I should be like that guy over there with the beach body, with the big income, with the perfect life, the big house etc. " and DECIDED to be the best version of me that I could be, my life did a 180 degree turnaround.

It isn't easy, but if I can be just a bit better in at least one of my SLA's every day, then "today was a good day" (Helfdane).

Good rowing mate...

[–]RStonePT 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

All those words and you said fucking nothing.

[–]tom-anonymous 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Can you explain why why you included "hysterical bonding" in the title?

[–]2ndalRed Beret 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Never posted much because my journey was mine and I didn’t know how much it would actually add to the community.

Maybe, but more likely that you are lazy and thought you could succeed without really doing the work. Your relapse is likely evidence of this being true.

This time, stick to the formula and do the work. Don't take shortcuts. Also, start seeing a therapist on a weekly basis.

Good luck.

Edit: Actually, you would really benefit from reading Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. You're clearly stuck in a negative feedback loop here. Start there, today.

[–]PaPaKAPture 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jordan Peterson, get your house in order. Clean your fucking room.

Seriously, everyone is different in terms of motivation, but listening to him on youtube for a few hours talking about how life is full of suffering, that we need to pick up our burden and carry it, to find a purpose worth living for to justify life's suffering and that everything you do MATTERS really lights a fire under my ass. There were times over the last 10 years that I was a hair's breath away from getting my handgun out of the safe, walking into the back yard and ending my life. My kids are why I am here typing this today.

The great thing about rock bottom is it's a great place to lay a strong foundation and start rebuilding.

[–]Ketonian_Empire 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Besides fatloss benefits, how is your sleep? Sleep is critical in being mentally capable to face each day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnXKc-An_IY is a good watch.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Ive put a barrel in my mouth twice and if it wasn’t for my kids I probably would have done it.

Next time you put a barrell to your mouth, don't let your kids stop you. If you die today, it'll be hard on them for a while, then after a time they will barely ever think about you. By the time they grow up, they'll have trouble remembering what you even looked like.

And, if your life is so pathetic that you want to kill yourself, then there won't be too many reasons to remember you fondly. All they will remember is the pain of the loss and a sense of abandonment, which is not the same thing. And all you will have taught them is that - when things got tough - Daddy took the easy way out.

If you want to make a difference to your kids lives, you start today by putting the work in to become a positive masculine fugure in their lives. Someone who shows them - through his actions and leadership - how a man acts and lives. You lead, you teach, you nourish and you protect.

Or just go back to the easy route you previously took of fucking around for 3 years with RP knowledge and not doing anything about it - which pretty much amounts to killing yourself anyway - only instead of doing it with one quick headshot, you die slowly and painfully, one day at a time, watching your life gradually slide by until one day you slip away without anyone actually giving a real fuck.

Headshot, slow death or MRP till you die. Take your pick.

[–]mitch2you80 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I’m all for tough and plain and simple, but come on.... I’d hope we’d draw the line at encouraging suicide. Facetious or not.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Show me where I'm encouraging suicide and then tell me why you are so intent on being offended.

[–]mitch2you80 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

“Next time you put a barrell to your mouth, don't let your kids stop you.”

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I asked you to show me where I'm encouraging suicide.

[–]mitch2you80 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you want to fog and broken record me, that’s fine. We have different ideas of what encouraging suicide entails. Own up to encouraging suicide or state affirmatively that the above quote isn’t encouraging him to complete suicide.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No.

[–]mitch2you80 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“do it, pussy” in relation to suicide is a bad take.

[–]echo979 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop! Breathe! You are ok. You are alive and as long as you keep being alive you still got another chance. Ignore the past. You can not change it. Imagine that you are your best friend. What would you advise yourself? Wha is the most important thing right now?

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Serious question. Are you lifting? What are your stats?



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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