Summary: Trying to get back with your ex - even if its not actually "getting back" with her - is a bad idea. Don't do it.
I've been posting on AskTRP for almost 3 years now. I've seen a lot of questions there, and by far the most asked question, asked dozens of times a day, is:
"Should I get back with my ex?"
Now the question isn't always worded that way. Sometimes its "My ex texted me, what should I do" or "My ex is being nice to me all of a sudden, why?". Like with women, you have to look at the underlying subtext to the question being asked. When a woman asks you if you have a girlfriend, what she is actually asking you is "Do other women find you attractive?". So when a guy is asking some question having anything to do with his ex, what he is actually asking is "Should I get back with my ex?".
Some of these men will try to justify/hamster away when asking a question of this nature. "I don't want to get back with her..." they say. "I just want to hang out with her or go out with her or fuck her or plate her or <anything that isn't LTRing her>". It doesn't matter what excuse you hamster up - the underlying question is still "Should I get back with my ex?".
Rollo Tomassi puts it perfectly with Iron Rule #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.
Even if its just to "talk to her" or "hang out with her" or "fuck her" or "plate her" and not actually get back with her - its still a bad idea. It's like eating your own vomit, eating out of your own garbage can, re-using a sheet of toilet paper. It's like trying to rebuild a car you crashed into the pond.
What's even worse than someone asking if they should get back with their ex, are the answers they get from guys who don't have a clue. They will reply with "Go for it! As long as you don't make her your girlfriend!" or "It won't hurt if you just fuck her or plate her!". Bullshit. That's shitty advice and detrimental and you are doing him no good. I always hit the downvote button with a swiftness when I see such a reply.
The thing is, when someone is asking "Should I get back with their ex", it is 100% motivated by oneitis. The man asking this question already has the answer in mind. He already WANTS to try and make an attempt to get back with her. He is just looking for others to tell him "Yeah man! Go for it!" so he can feel better about doing so and have an excuse if things go wrong - "But AskTRP told me to do it!! I just followed their advice!!". In other words, plausible deniability and confirmation bias rolled in one.
A man who doesn't have oneitis won't be thinking about getting back with his ex. It will never enter his mind. He would have ghosted her already and moved on with his life. So if you are even pondering such a question, even if its "just to talk to her" (yeah, sure) it means you still have oneitis. 3 billion women on this planet and you are still focusing on trying to rebuild a relationship with a woman you already failed with. What makes you think it would be better the second time around?
Since the oneitis is still present, its why its such a bad idea to even entertain the notion, even if its just to hang out with her or talk to her or fuck her. Oneitis is an addiction. The more you feed it, the stronger it will get and the more you will need to get your next fix. Oneitis is something you have to go cold turkey on and fuck other women besides the one you have oneitis for. By telling someone with oneitis who wants to get back with their ex "its OK if you just talk to her/fuck her/plate her!", its similar to telling a recovering alcoholic to just have a beer, just one won't hurt, or someone trying to quit smoking to have a cigarette, just one won't hurt, or a heroin addict to have a quick fix, just one won't hurt. The only way oneitis is defeated is by having willpower to go cold turkey.
So if you are wondering if you should get back with your ex - the answer is always no. Ghost her completely from your life. Delete her phone number and all forms of contact with her such as on social media. Remove her completely from your life like you would wipe a hard drive clean. "Bu bu bu bu bu I go to school with her/work with her/see her every day! I can't remove her from my life!". It doesn't matter. Unless you absolutely have no choice, re-route your paths so you don't "happen" to run into her(we know you purposely try to run into her on purpose). Ignore her completely if or when she is around, even if she talks to you.
Men who ask if they should get back with their ex are doing it because they still have oneitis and are looking for other guys to tell them to do it. You are harming them by telling them anything other than NO. I don't care if the answer is "As long as you don't make her your GF, go ahead and bang her!" Oneitis can only be defeated by going completely cold turkey and fucking OTHER women.
The answer is always no - getting back with your ex is never a good idea, even if its not getting back with her as an LTR or girlfriend. Even plating or ONS'ing her is a bad idea. Completely ghosting your ex is the only option
Posting Tomassi's Iron Rule 7 again: "It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was."