Do not talk about negative shit.

Shukakun · 2017-10-30T12:12:29+00:00

This is extremely important, both for your own mental health and for your social status. No one likes people who constantly complain.

Also, talking about your problems is similar to being a beggar. The difference is that you're begging for free shrink sessions, rather than money. People will feel used and look down on you if you're going to treat them like amateur shrinks. And if you're on this boars, I'm sure you realize what this means in the context of a relationship. The quickest way to ruin a relationship is to make the other person look down on and pity you. There's always a protector and a protected in a relationship, similar to a parent/child dynamic. You want to be the steadfast father who makes his daughter feel secure, not the sad little boy who complains to mommy about his problems all the time.

All that being said, negative talk does not necessarily make the other person feel bad. There's another aspect to it, and I'm unfortunately speaking from experience here. Some social circles have a thing where they talk shit about everything and everyone, probably to feel better about themselves. Don't be that person.

K_J_K · 2017-10-30T12:54:22+00:00

Examples I have witnessed first hand:

Within an hour of meeting girl:

Talks about abusive/shitty childhood
Brings up previous failed relationships
Mentions struggles paying rent
Talks about not knowing how to talk to girls

Some men are so desperate to just be heard and given attention that they word vomit their entire life’s suffering onto any woman who gives them attention.

It’s almost as if they’re wielding their suffering and failures as a sin of status.

Trying to show that they’re the nicest nice guy.

cashmoney_x · 2017-10-30T10:56:43+00:00

Tell this to my blue pilled brother please. I love the guy but 87% of what he says is feminine bitching.

[deleted] · 2017-10-30T12:07:27+00:00

You are a not a bitch. Period. You have no use for bitching. When your frame is healthy and strong, you don't need to complain to anyone because you know you can take care of it. Even if you don't, it won't kill you. You can recover from it. So why bitch? As a man, be a beacon of emotional stability to those around you and, most importantly, yourself. That can't happen when you're spewing negative emotion all over. Being a stoic isn't some useless "commandment" dictated by the redpill, it's a pillar for a good, emotionally controlled life

MrTrizzles · 2017-10-30T12:50:41+00:00

This is my golden rule for all kinds of meetings. There is nowhere for a conversation to go after something negative. It's not interesting. And you run the risk of instantly alienating them forever. Nobody will be turned off if you like skateboarding but they don't. Many will be turned off if you reveal you don't like cheese.

This post is spot on.

Rhynovirus · 2017-10-30T14:42:29+00:00

This goes hand-in-hand with “not caring” and “not getting emotionally attached”. You can not rely on women for emotional support, ever, unless they’re your therapist. At best they will view you as weak and abandon you at your most vulnerable, at worst they will use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities against you. Good post.

Hillarysdilddo_2016 · 2017-10-30T13:51:15+00:00

Nobody likes a bitch.

Nobody likes a little whiney bitch.

We're men.

Come up with solutions or shut your trap and grit your teeth and deal with it.

Edit: making it clear I'm talking about attitude one should hold and not attacking the OPs post. I agree with OP.

cshama · 2017-10-30T12:48:27+00:00

Personally I would prefer to go through life expressing feelings I actually feel and talking about things I want to talk about, when I want to talk about them. I don't feel the need to put a smiley face on 24/7 and I say what I want when I want. Never had a problem getting girls no matter what comes out of my mouth.

themangu6 · 2017-10-30T17:24:49+00:00

Agreed, these group of "chads" have invited me to their social circle which is great because I have never been inside a chads circle before. But all they do is gossip and talk trash about other people like they have vaginas. It can be a real bummer.

Ovadox · 2017-10-30T16:55:49+00:00

After college try #1 ended badly I was lonely, depressed, bitter. I had lost a major part of my identity (smart, top student). During the lead up to that implosion I leaned on my friends for emotional support. To their credit, a few put up with it for a while, but eventually they all pretty much dropped off the radar. The only people who stuck around were just as fucked up as I was or worse.

I learned from that that people don't want to hear your problems. I also learned that friends are nice but just for company, having people to do fun things with. Do not count on anyone having your back but you. Maybe one or two of the people you know will pleasantly surprise you but you shouldn't need it.

If you are going through hard times the only way to come out on top is through pure strength of will to act in ways that improve your situation. Its seldom easy or fast bit in the end, if you succeed you will value yourself above all else and as many here have observed, that is the foundation of success with women, with career, with life.

OpossumManEater · 2017-10-30T15:51:41+00:00

I wouldn't say this advice is for everyone. A lot of us don't like this world where we have to fool ourselves into being "happy", as this world has one fundamental truth, in that it is a cold, sad, and often cruel place.

"For with great wisdom comes great sorrow" -- King Solomon in Ecclesiastes

In my opinion you can complain and express weakness towards your close male peers and close relatives -- that's it. Outside of those circles, this advice is sound (I.E NEVER express weakness to women not blood related) but putting up that face non-stop is virtually stripping the humanity from the human and none of us will ever transcend our humanity.

In the end, we are vulnerable creatures, we exit this world just as we came into it, crying and shitting our pants. Even in our prime, none of us can extract power from within indefinitely...at some point we need a source of comfort.

rpluslequalsJARED · 2017-11-01T09:31:23+00:00

None of you losers are getting any girls don’t worry.

J2RDRC · 2017-10-30T17:50:21+00:00

Being a young guy, most of my friends are from school or have at least known each other for 4-5+ years.

We all talk about what’s going on in our life’s, negative or not. In fact, on numerous occasions I’ve been questioned and have questioned wether or not someone is ok. Sure, we will talk shit about one of us being a pussy down the line, but I’ll be damned if we aren’t there to try and at least offer support when it is most needed.

That doesn’t mean any of us are adverse to handing out a toughen up talk.

Surely a great frame is built by being open and honest with yourself and owning any negative emotions or times you are going through?

[deleted] · 2017-10-30T15:00:48+00:00

Complaining is an admission that there is something about your life that you do not like but do not have drive or desire to do anything about. You’re a man god damn it, if there’s a problem you fucking fix it, not talk about it.

Complaining changes your mentality. The more people complain about things, the more negative overall they tend to be in all regards. People prefer positivity. Be what people prefer.

Complaining is fishing for sympathy and/or pity. You’ve hated people like that all your life. Why become one?

There’s literally more reasons than I can think of that being a complainer is bad news. Don’t be a complainer.

RedPilledRoaster · 2017-10-30T17:48:31+00:00

I think trying not to talk about 'negative shit' at all times is impossible.

Some take it too far and won't even make jokes that "tear down" others.

You'll soon be labeled as the too-happy guy and everyone will see through your facade.

That being said you don't want to be the depressed loser. Find a balance.

cshama · 2017-10-31T03:16:35+00:00

Well I guess you can criticize my approach of being honest with my feelings and opinions. If I feel negative, I don’t hide it. I find confidence and charisma far more important then some fake positive outlook on life. If I was a midget or a quasimodo or a low confidence bore, perhaps I would need to walk around with a plastic smile plastered to my face.

My point is, is that you need to direct the flow of interactions. Women can smell fear and low self esteem a mile off. And part of low self esteem is tailoring your behavior to their supposed reactions. Let them like you, or not. Who cares, there are billions more. I'm not cut or rich or perfect looking, yet I have pretty much had a 100% success rate on dates. My only failures have been the few times when I got plastered. The reason for that success is I have confidence based on reality. Not some bullshit I am pushing. But based on who I really am.

This may sound arrogant. And I guess I am. But that's my reaction when I hear about these supposed ideas about how you behave around women. Have the confidence to be yourself, it's intoxicating to women.

Coder28 · 2017-10-30T15:06:59+00:00

To answer your question: "why talk about something negative."

Its to simple vent and just get the crap off your back. Even if tge other person isnt listening but looks like they are it helps. Especial if you have a friend who will listen. Look if your not that kind of person tell the complainer to find someone who will help and listen to them.

RP_Scotsman · 2017-10-31T18:15:27+00:00

Understood and a fair post but I have a question for the older posters with regards to (serious) LTRs.

I understand the importance of maintaining frame, however how do you manage the expectations of your SO with regards to career worries, money problems and so on?

I'm pretty sure most women prefer a 'rock' that they can offload all of their troubles onto without necessarily reciprocating. A one-way street, so to speak.

How do you communicate with her when life has thrown you some curveballs, without sounding like a whiny bitch?

I'm sure the answers are to be found in the sidebar, but I haven't seen a good summary myself.

Phaeer · Mon Oct 30 14:51:38 2017 UTC

I bitch and moan about the most ridiculous subjects on the Internet as an anonymous troll, since I find people's reaction fun, but never in real life.

MrAnderzon · 2017-10-30T13:24:28+00:00

You should make more post about frame.

musicvita25 · 2017-10-30T11:55:50+00:00

Unfortunately we live in a society right now that there really is hardly any positives.

Try living in London the amount of terror attacks, redundencies, brexit etc etc, pollution its very hard to be chipper when surrounded with such miserable faces etc.

Ive been a city boy all my life, but can definitely see myself moving out of the country in the future but ONLY after I've achieved what I have set out to

uebermacht · 2017-10-30T13:59:06+00:00

Saved!
http://archive.is/HO7cK

awaken471 · Mon Oct 30 14:17:44 2017 UTC

Well, I'll end up having almost nothing to talk at work then...because most the work-related stuff (student support) is stressful

Heisenbread77 · 2017-10-30T14:24:04+00:00

I need to get much better at this.

eiseros07 · 2017-10-30T21:35:55+00:00

As a conspiracy theorist, I needed to read this. Good topic & write-up OP!

aparabola · 2017-10-30T16:11:55+00:00

-How to win friends and influence people

halfback910 · 2017-10-30T17:16:05+00:00

Yeah, can confirm this is true in general. It's also why you shouldn't gossip or talk shit about other people.

People associate the things you say with you. If you're saying negative shit about you or others, that will stick to you.

It's very true in the workplace, especially. The converse is also true. If you pay people compliments behind their back, the people you're talking to will begin to associate those virtues with you.

bilabrin · 2017-10-30T17:30:37+00:00

I think also that it's not so much not showing "weakness" as helplessness. I think that genuinely acknowledging (though not highlighting) your flaws is fairly alpha so long as you aren't complaining or being needy because you also aren't projecting insecurity about those weaknesses.

RedwallAllratuRatbar · 2017-10-30T18:51:23+00:00

I use my worst plate to pour all negativity into her so I can be upbeat with other people. Paradoxically my worst plate would be best potential LTR if she lost like 20 kilos

[deleted] · 2017-10-30T20:15:05+00:00

Definitely old news for some but a good reminder for others.

42-AX · 2017-10-30T20:52:14+00:00

Even if you are part of the audience, don't make other spectators feel like shit

1UPZ_ · 2017-10-31T03:09:26+00:00

exactly.

unless the other person can offer help... don't bring them down.

do you like being dragged into an awkward negative situation?

people like hanging out with people who make them feel good.

CabbagedDaughter · 2017-10-31T04:54:25+00:00

Are you saying don't neg them or don't talk about sad and/or personal shit?

MrTrizzles · 2017-11-01T07:51:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ytfromsnwcrsh · 2017-11-01T12:24:37+00:00

specially if the sad story is about yourself. Women dont care. And why should they? They are not there to be your pall, they are selecting a lover, a male. And if they sympathize, thats because your are in the friend zone. Lose lose situation.

SteveStJohn · 2017-11-01T21:07:54+00:00

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMd02u3V4AA3g-4.jpg

True whether it is on Social Media or in person.

ColdbloodedEdward · 2017-11-05T08:03:22+00:00

the only way to learn this is to stop reading this shit and experience it on your own. take the core concept, which, ironically, never mentioned here: "women have it better than men", leave, check back in on the weekend nights or off-time.

another important thing is to try to imagine how the other person is thinking, now feeling is a whole different concept which is difficult for me, but thinking.. no one wants to hear about your struggles, you got to find a way to vent it in private

Peter_B_Long · 2017-10-30T23:06:39+00:00

I agree 100% with this.

It's a bit tough not being able to talk to someone about your problems sometimes and just keeping it bottled up inside, but that's what being a man is about. You have to be a rock.

In regards to the post, I would go as far to say that you shouldn't be incorporated into anything negative in an interaction, ever.

By this I mean:

• Not talking about anything negative (bitching, complaining, sharing sad negative stories)

• Not being the emotional tampon, sad story sponge, etc. to someone. If someone starts complaining or sharing some sad negative experience with you, be charismatic enough to listen, but don't let them pour out everything onto you. Be respectful enough but change the subject asap.

• Being in negative situations. This one is hard to avoid because some negative situations are spontaneous (flat tire, fight at the bar, passing away of a friend)

The reason why it is important for you to avoid negative moments with people is because once you share a negative moment, that person begins to incorporate you as a trigger for a negative emotion, and nobody wants to feel negative. We all chase positive emotions every day. We gravitate towards people who make us feel good, and avoid people who make us feel bad (or bored).

So not only are you making yourself seem weak and beta if you talk about anything negative and make people feel negative, but you're also developing a scent for yourself so that you smell negative whenever that person sees you again.

Warfrog · 2017-10-30T20:55:30+00:00

Don't want to be that guy, but saying don't talk about negative shit is literally talking about negative shit.

Owl_27 · 2017-10-30T08:38:23+00:00

Why does this sounds like you fucked up and you are lecturing yourself? Stip this beta behavior, a powerful man is a sociopath with the ability to transform its frame however he wants with any emotion he wants as long as looks and money are strong points. Instead if "cheap ass" psicology, pick up what you want and make people deal with your shit. Getting you must be hard, women must feel you are a god and your condition are the staircase ti the Olympus.

Negative or Positive emotions are emotions, which a woman will enjoy independently since we know women just want drama and adventure.

Stop overthinking this much and get back to training, listen to J and Echo podcasts and learn how to use emotions as a tool, not as a burden.

Title	Do not talk about negative shit.
Author	MrTrizzles
Upvotes	756
Comments	121
Date	30 October 2017 07:52 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	TheRedPill
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/46849
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/79mb1t/do_not_talk_about_negative_shit/

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